Home / General / Some People Claim That There’s A Woman to Blame, But I Know It’s Your Own Damn Fault

Some People Claim That There’s A Woman to Blame, But I Know It’s Your Own Damn Fault

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Right. His wife. His political instincts are absolutely surefire otherwise.

…I mean, he has Zell Miller on board! If it wasn’t for that meddling Calista Newt could be rehearsing his inaugural speech right now.

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  • DrDick

    Riiight! Newtie has never made a political misstep before and has always displayed Machiavellian tactical elan in all his dealings.

  • Nobody could have predicted that people who devote their professional lives to right-wing political activism would be put off by a woman who asserts herself within their organization.

    I mean, just look at all of the women in top-tier political management positions in Republican campaigns.

    • Reality Check

      Mary Matilin and Karen Hughes would like a word with you, joey.

      • Spokesmodels on teevee.

        Sure, Republicans put out women as talking heads all the time. The also put black sewer commissioners and county board members on the stage at the convention every four years.

        • Reality Check

          Mary Matalin worked in the White House as a special consul to Dick Cheney as well as in the GHWB White house. Karen Hughes also held a position in the administration in addition to help running Bush’s campaign. You’re as ignorant about this as you are about basic economics.

          • So, a staff lawyer and and a spokesman. And that’s the best you can come up with.

            Like I said, they really don’t like women who assert themselves into positions of power.

            • Reality Check

              I give examples, and you discount them because they’re Republicans. I guess Condoleezza Rice is just a “spokesmodel on TV” too, and a Republican President didn’t appoint this first female Supreme Court justice, either.

              • Actually, I didn’t so much “discount them” as “cite them as evidence of my point,” and not “because they were Republicans” but “because they were capable women given subordinate jobs.”

                I guess Condoleezza Rice is just a “spokesmodel on TV” too, and a Republican President didn’t appoint this first female Supreme Court justice, either.

                Oh, sure, Republicans love them some affirmative action appointments (true story: in 1991, Clarence Thomas was the most distinguished jurist in the United States).

                • Reality Check

                  Secretary of State and National Security Adviser is now a “subordinate job”. And, apparently (but only if you’re a Republican!) being appointed to SCOTUS means you’re a “token”.

                  Yeah, you aren’t wearing partisan goggles at all! Hookay.

                • Reality Check

                  Being in the top levels of a political campaign is also a “subordinate job” if you’re a Republican woman.

            • Reality Check

              But hey, we can’t all be as useful as Michelle Obama. “Diversity coordinators” at hospitals are VITAL to the survival of this nation, I tell you!

              • Malaclypse
                • Reality Check

                  How does it feel to wait?

                • Malaclypse

                  How does it feel to wait?

                  It feels like victory.

  • Hogan

    Leave it to the Weekly Standard to find a faux-highbrow way of saying “pussywhipped.”

  • Xenocrates

    Ah, Fred Barnes…writing tripe for a living since 1982. Tell me why he’s on teevee again? Is total ignorance of the facts a job pre-requisite now?

    • timb

      On Fox it is

  • BigHank53

    Oh, I don’t know. It seems to me that Newt now has a solid public reason to start hunting for wife #4. He’s probably a lot more interested in that than in running for President.

  • firefall

    What on earth makes you think he isnt rehearsing his inaugural speech anyway?

  • efgoldman

    The Schadenfreude.
    It burns!

    Maybe after Loomis is done with worst preznits, he can do a post on which numbnuts was the worst speaker of the house.
    No contest, in the late 20th century, methinks.

    • That’s quite the comment, too, considering Wright and Rostenkowski…

      • Davis X. Machina

        Rosty was a parliamentary strong-arm artist, and a petty peculator. Megalomaniac, not so much.

        • efgoldman

          Neither Wright nor Rosty allowed himself to be played by the President after scoring one of the biggest political victories (the 1994 elections) in history. Clinton was Bre’er Rabbit to Newtie’s Bre’er bear. Newtie allowed (encouraged? pushed?) the GOBP to get all exercised about a blow job, while he failed in the Government shutdown, whined against a perceived lack of respect, etc.

      • gocart mozart

        Rosty wasn’t speaker. He was a very powereful chairman of the House Ways and Means committee though.

  • R. Johnston

    So, is there anyone left who doubts that Newt is every bit as crazy as Palin, Paul, Bachmann, and Cain? When Zell Miller’s the last man standing on your side and you don’t hang yourself in shame, something’s seriously wrong with you.

  • Reality Check

    Newt is out, but his advisers are going to go to Rick Perry’s campaign. Gov. Perry is a strong and credible candidate–Texas has created more jobs than any other state in the last ten years. It’s amazing what the economy can do when the government sticks to its constitutional functions of protecting life, liberty, and private property.

    • Jay B.

      A $27 billion crater in a bi-annual budget that has almost nothing in it?

      It’s a neat trick to have your head up your ass while your tongue in Perry’s.

      • Reality Check

        Why did Texas create more jobs than any other state while liberal bastions like New York, California, and Michigan bled millions of jobs?

        • Very strong financial-sector regulation after the S&L debacle. Seriously, Texas’ handing of the mortgage industry is truly one of the great examples of how strong government regulation could have avoided the mortgage meltdown.

          But now the question is, why is Texas experiencing such slow economic growth, compared to places like Massachusetts and New York?

          • Reality Check

            Yup, I agree, Romney did a great job of economic growth in your state. Glad we could agree.

            • Malaclypse

              So, if Massachusetts’ success can be attributed to someone who left office in January 2007, and not his Democratic successor, does that mean we can blame the performance of the country as a whole on someone who left office in January 2009, rather than his Democratic successor?

              Keep in mind that, under Romney, MA had the fourth worst rate of job growth in the nation, which will make your task of bullshit and obfuscation a bit challenging. Are your troll skills up to the challenge?

            • Mitt Romney left office in 2007.

              The article you didn’t read was about economic growth in 2010.

              The governor during 2007-present is on Deval Patrick, a black Democrat from Chicago.

            • Wow…talk about a misnamed troll…

              • Left_Wing_Fox

                It’s not so much a moniker as a required course of action after reading his posts.

        • timb

          Building gated communities, security guards to keep the poor in check and domestic help…the same way all plutocracies create jobs

    • Malaclypse

      when the government sticks to its constitutional functions of protecting life, liberty, and private property.

      Fun fact: the phrase “private property” appears nowhere within the main body of the Constitution, and can be found only in the Fifth and (implied in) the Fourteenth.

      I guess the rest of the document was just fluff and padding.

    • Hogan

      Texas has created more jobs than any other state in the last ten years.

      Most of them either minimum-wage or public sector.

      • Reality Check

        Most of them either minimum-wage or public sector. [citation needed]

        • Malaclypse
          • Reality Check

            Krugman? Lol.

            • dave3544

              How bout here?

              Which came from here.

              And congrats on finding the reply button.

              • Reality Check

                I usually post from my Droid, and the mobile version of this site doesn’t have a reply button, so piss off.

                • mpowell

                  That’s a pretty reasonable explanation. But I’m sure you can see why people thought it was odd.

                • dave3544

                  And now you can acknowledge that the job growth in Texas came from the public sector and low-wage jobs.

                • danbu sama

                  switch to the non mobile version.

                  Literally posting from my droid right now.

            • Malaclypse

              Krugman? Lol.

              Yes, we can’t all have the depth of economic wisdom possessed by RC. Sure, there are charts, graphs, and statistics, all of which pretty unambiguously show RC as being wrong, but sneering Lol has me convinced.

              • Warren Terra

                I can see disliking Krugman’s opinions, if they’re antithetical to yours. But it’s like the old cliche says: you’re entitled to your own opinions, not your own facts. Whatever RC and his ilk think of Krugman’s opinions, there are all sorts of reasons for Krugman to be very careful with his facts, as indeed he is.

                But then, the wingers aren’t noted for their willingness to accept contrary facts.

            • timb

              way to shoot the messenger

            • gocart mozart

              Shorter RC: Nobel Prize ppfft!

              • Furious Jorge

                I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve had right-wingers who literally don’t know the first thing about economics dismiss Krugman out of hand like that.

                Their justification, more often than not, is that since Obama won a Nobel prize that was clearly undeserved, nobel laureate Krugman must not know what he’s talking about.

                Sometimes they throw in Al Gore. But not as much as they used to.

        • Hogan
    • Murc

      Wait, you like Rick Perry for the nomination?

      I thought you were a T-Paw man, RC.

      I do agree with you though that Perry is a strong and credible candidate for the Republican nomination. He doesn’t have anywhere enar the ball-and-chain issues the others do.

      But aren’t you worried that the Republican Party will be reluctant to nominate another Texas Governor after GWB? I mean, that’s a stupid reason, but being tainted by proxy is probably why Jeb ain’t running, so…

      • Reality Check

        Either Pawlenty or Perry is fine. Pawlenty/Perry?

        People don’t care about the EEEEEEVIIIILLL BUUUUUUSH anymore despite liberal’s fevered imaginations.

        • Malaclypse

          What happened to the charisma dynamo that is Chris Christie?

          • Reality Check

            He’s not running, sadly.

            • Yeah, anything over a slow trot would probably kill him.

              • Reality Check

                I don’t think the party that has Michelle Obama has much room to talk about weight problems. She sure likes those ribs…

                • Michelle Obama
                  Chris Christie

                  Since Republicans wouldn’t ever say anything racist, I can only assume that your reference to “ribs” is an observation that it’s possible to detect hers without an x-ray.

                • Warren Terra

                  I don’t like the weight gags about Christie, but your rejoinder is as obnoxious as its is unfactual and absurd.

                • Reality Check

                  Face it, she’s built like a snowman and then has the balls to lecture us about what we’re allowed to eat.

                • Reality Check

                  And she oredered pork ribs for a White House party while telling everyone else what they can and can’t eat, and lecturing us on what to feed our children.

                • Malaclypse

                  Tell me about it. Just last weekend, I was sitting out by the grill, when a FEMA helicopter set down, Michelle Obama stepped out, and men with guns took away mah grill.

                • Ha ha, I trolled the troll.

                • Reality Check

                  but your rejoinder is as obnoxious as its is unfactual and absurd.

                  Awww, is the widdle wiberal mad I told the truth about his Messiah’s wife?

                • Malaclypse
                • Face it, she’s built like a snowman

                  If that’s a snowman, I’m stapling a carrot to my face.

                • Hogan

                  Still waiting for a reply about Romney, RC.

                  He hears you knockin but you can’t come in.

                • timb

                  According to Laura Ingraham’s fever dreams she does.

                  Why do Republicans always hate the spouse so much. As much as Laura bush was made fun of for a permagrin, I never read anyone who said she was fat or ugly.

                  And, no one is Chris Christie fat and ugly. For all his value to helping plutocrats retain their money and yelling at teachers in public meetings, he looks like a bit player from the Sopranos

                • timb

                  Damn Laura Bush lectured my kids to read! That was so unfair. How dare she try to make them read!

                • danbu sama

                  Republicans say some weird, crazy shit, but ” michelle obama is fat” is right at the top of the list.

                • gocart mozart

                  Nancy Reagan had a big ass.

                • Anonymous

                  You left out fried chicken.
                  Also, have you noticed that Palin is getting more junk in the trunk lately? Must be all those moose burgers.

        • Either Pawlenty or Perry is fine. Pawlenty/Perry?

          I don’t get it. There are several other candidates who are more like Pawlenty than Perry, and there are several other candidates who are more like Perry than Pawlenty.

          It’s like a Democrat in 2004 listing their top 2 choices as Dean and Lieberman. Huh?

          People don’t care about the EEEEEEVIIIILLL BUUUUUUSH anymore despite liberal’s fevered imaginations.

          Oh, speaking of that, I think it’s awesome that the idiot Republicans, having seen their Medicare strategy work out so well, are now blathering about Social Security privatization. Not only is it self-destructive in its own right, but now the Democrats get to talk about the failed presidency of George W. Bush again.

          • Reality Check

            Nobody cares about BUUUUUUUUUUUSH, you tried that tired tripe during the midterms, the Massachusettes special election, and VA/NJ Gubernatorial races and it didn’t work so well, did it? So by all means, keep talking about BUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH.

            • Nobody cares about BUUUUUUUUUUUSH

              And that’s just my point. You’re right, Bush is off the radar screen, and as your furious insistence on that point demonstrates quite clearly, that is a very, very good thing for the Republicans.

              So, why would they be so stupid as to nominate a candidate who reminds everyone of him?

              • I mean, that would be like the Democrats nominating Jimmy Carter’s Vice President in the very next election after Carter left office with his popularity in the toilet.

                Can you imagine how that would have turned out?

                • Tyto

                  I thought Fritz got the nod precisely because the Dems thought ’84 was unwinnable by anyone. Am I wrong?

        • Warren Terra

          Hey RC, especially since in this thread you’re using the “Reply” button, and you’re still praising Pawlenty – could you please justify tolerating, let alone endorsing, anyone who would sign their name to the steaming pile of flabbergastingly insane nonsense that Pawlenty did this week in the name of an alleged budget plan?

          • Reality Check

            I can’t use the reply button how I usually post (on my Droid) because there is no reply button on the mobile version of this site. I hope this is the last fucking time I have to explain this. If you don’t like it, bitch to the asshole who designed this site.

            • Hogan

              Well, I guess he answered your question, Warren.

              • Apparently, it’s only the mobile version that allows you to bullshit about Tim Pawlenty.

                • Anonymous

                  It’s almost 24 hours later, and this still makes me laugh.

            • Jay B.

              I hope this is the last fucking time I have to explain this.

              Why? Who gives a shit? You post nothing but regurgitated talking points anyway, so it’s not like you mind saying the same stupid thing over and over again.

            • Furious Jorge

              What a cogent, persuasive response. Count me on board for T-Paw 2012!

        • Murc

          Hmm. If you think people don’t care about the Bush name anymore, do you have a reason for why Jeb isn’t running? The man clearly wants to be President. I had assumed it was because he thought the bush Brand was irretreviably damaged by his brother. Your thoughts?

        • Pawlenty/Perry?

          Pee Pee sounds about right for the republicans.

          People don’t care about the EEEEEEVIIIILLL BUUUUUUSH anymore

          Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, that’s why they ended up #s 4 & 5 on that list of most hated men in history….for FOURTH GRADERS!

          • gocart mozart

            Also Paw/Perry sounds a lot like paupery which is what they want to do to many Americans.

          • Furious Jorge

            I would really love to see a citation for that, if you have one handy.

    • Scott Lemieux

      The Republican Party has been a disgrace for a while, but the fact that a murderer could be a credible candidate is some kind of new low.

      • Malaclypse

        “Don’t be sad, Momma,” Willingham said. “In fifty-five minutes, I’m a free man. I’m going home to see my kids.”

        Jesus. That was horrible to even think about. That poor man.

        • timb

          That story still pisses me off AND makes me cry. Damn you for making me think about it, RC and Scott.

          Still, that’s limited government for you: a govt that kills the poor so it can be tough on crime

      • Warren Terra

        They worked up to it with the previous Texas governor they backed for President, whose wife was the murderer.

        (less snarkily, the approval of highly questionable executions for political benefit is not limited to Republicans – Clinton did exactly this in ’92).

        • Scott Lemieux

          The Rector execution was pretty appalling, but at least he did kill someone. This is really a difference in kind.

    • gocart mozart

      government sticks to its constitutional functions of protecting life, liberty, and private property.

      I think you are confusing the constitution with John Locke. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happines” is the Dec of Ind also so double fail.

      • Malaclypse
        • gocart mozart

          I added the Locke thingy mkay.

    • Hey there, folks. Native-born Texan here. (waits for chorus of boos to subside) Aw, blow it out yer ass, Yankee pigs!

      Ahem, where was I? Oh, yes, Rick Perry.

      He’s toast. Yeah, not even out of the gate, and I can promise you he’s toast.

      Do you have any idea how deeply disliked Perry is, even in the Lone Star State? I spent the last couple decades in Lubbock and the Panhandle — and there ain’t no one there who’s a big fan of Perry. I got Republican family and friends all over that area, and when you mention Rick Perry, no one hesitates to talk about how much they hate that snake.

      Yeah, he won two elections. The most recent one was on the strength of the teabaggers — but they won’t go for Perry nationally if they also have a choice between Palin, Bachmann, Cain, or frankly, Romney. The first election he won was a complete barrel of crazy, with two independent candidates running for the governor’s office, including Kinky Friedman.

      The economy is about to be a huge issue for Perry — namely that the Lone Star State is about to nosedive economically. Hundreds of thousands of teachers are going to get laid off, class sizes are going to double, there’s actually talk of closing down junior colleges — but somehow, there’s still room for tax breaks for yachts and Formula 1 racing.

      And Perry’s arrogance and entitlement makes him unpopular. He’s been known to put the squeeze on troopers, the handicapped, and anyone else who gets in his way. Perry makes G-Dub look humble and self-effacing.

      And we haven’t even gotten into — shhhh! — the whispers about his sexuality. Even if they’re not true (and I suspect they aren’t), those whispers will get amplified if he runs for higher office — and he will lose vast numbers of rethug bigots solely because of those unsubstantiated rumors.

      To top it all off, the man is dumb as a stump. You’d have to be to consider a run for the presidency with that many negatives attached to your profile.

      • Reality Check

        I remember you used to call Reagan and Bush “dumb” too, and they said the same thing about Eisenhower in the ’50s.

        For lbierals and their allies in the MSM, all Republicans are either “evil” or “dumb”.

        • Malaclypse

          Or failures, like Romney.

        • Murc

          … people said Eisenhower was dumb? Like, actual influential opinion-maker people?

          Really? I mean, I’m pretty up on REPUBLICAN attack tactics in that era, but not on Democratic ones, but I have a hard time seeing that.

          The Democratic Party was at something of a loss as to what to do about Ike at first, and iirc the route they eventually settled on was to make common cause with him against the more right-wing elements of his own party (including his own Vice-President), rather than try to directly attack one of the guys who won WWII.

          • Hogan

            … people said Eisenhower was dumb? Like, actual influential opinion-maker people?

            People did say it, although not Democratic politicans for the most part. Eisenhower built an image of himself as a “common man” type, no better than everyone else, and in some ways kind of an amiable doofus. It was a great act, and he kept it up so well that lots of smart people fell for it (the ones who admired Stevenson, but also people like Nixon). His style at press conferences was to hit the points he wanted to hit and throw up a bunch of filler to pad it out, and sometimes it sounded like grandfatherly rambling.

            I recommend the chapter on Eisenhower (and the Checkers speech) in Garry Wills’s Nixon Agonistes. As well as the rest of that book.

            • Murc

              Huh. My impression had always been that Nixon knew damn well Ike was pretty sharp, but destested the man for other reasons.

              I keep meaning to read Nixon Agonistes, but then I remember that Nixonland was a two-drink-a-chapter book, and I lose my nerve.

            • DrDick
              • Murc

                Stevenson v. Eisenhower are the last Presidential elections I can look at and think ‘You know what? The country is in good hands no matter who wins. I can rest easy.’

            • efgoldman

              Eisenhower didn’t get to plan and execute the Western front war in Europe by being dumb.
              He was pretty self-effacing, especially compared to egomaniacs like Patton and Montgomery. And he wasn’t a real intellectual like Stevenson (for all the good it did him).But dumb? Never, ever.

              • Hogan

                No no. He was more the Grant type than the McClellan (or neo-Bonapartist) type, which was one reason he could hold together that coalition. And as Wills point out, you don’t rise to generalship in a peacetime army without serious political skills. But one of those skills was making himself seem more naive (and maybe less threatening) than he was.

        • timb

          Explain how winning an election made any of those people less dumb.

          Hell, RC, you get more replies than anyone here and you are clearly (outside of Norm) the dumbest person commenting. Popularity is not intelligence

        • DrDick

          Here is what Ike had to say about the people you revere:

          Should any political party attempt to abolish social security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do these things. Among them are H. L. Hunt (you possibly know his background), a few other Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas.5 Their number is negligible and they are stupid.

      • efgoldman

        But he has great hire!
        (Best I can do for the TX pronunciation)

    • timb

      Texas is a 3rd world country. If your idea of government sticking “to its constitutional functions of protecting life, liberty, and private property” is ignoring healthcare, K-12 education, nutrition, infrastructure, public health, higher education, etc, then you betcha. if you’ve entered the 21st century, however, you would know Rick Perry is just a televangelist.

  • Anonymous

    To be fair to the troll (why I’m not sure) Perry is the only Republican who I see winning. Who knows how his campaign would go however.

    • BigHank53

      Also, no word on whether his hair is willing to settle for the VP slot.

    • Perry2012: Yes, I’m a Texan who talks favorably about secession, running against the first black president, but that shouldn’t get in the way of my message at all.

      • Malaclypse

        If Perry follows through on secession, I, for one, back his program.

        • Warren Terra

          Never been there, but my understanding is that Austin has its charms. Maybe we could keep it by way of some mutually agreeable land swaps with Oklahoma?

          • astonishingly dumb hv

            Tear down this wall!

        • We should make it a law the moment he enters the race.

        • timb

          seconded

  • Anderson

    Sorry, but I have no trouble believing that someone with the poor judgment to become Newt’s third wife would display poor judgment in other respects.

    • Captain Splendid

      Nah, I think she’s smarter than that and is derailing his campaign on purpose. I mean who, apart from Newt, honestly thought he’d have a chance at winning the primary, let alone the presidency? This way, she gets to save hubby and herself lots of wasted time, effort money and embarrassment.

  • Uncle Kvetch

    Folks, I realize that troll-feeding is rapidly becoming the new normal here at LGM, and far be it from me to stand athwart history yelling “DNFTT.” But I hope I can slip a sincere rumination in here without raising too many hackles.

    I think Rachel Maddow has made a pretty good case for seeing Gingrich’s “campaign” as merely one component of the for-profit enterprise that is Newt, Inc., and nothing more. No one–up to and including Newt himself–believes for one second that he has the remotest chance of winning the primary, let alone the election. And that’s not the point. It’s simply about getting enough rich mouth-breathers who still buy into the “conservative intellectual” schtick to open up their wallets and buy his books and subscribe to his newsletter and so on. And as long as Newt is officially “in the race,” he’ll continue to enjoy a full dance card of fawning Beltway TV appearances and softball “interviews” through which to hawk his wares.

    So all the chortling over the “implosion” of the campaign is, IMHO, somewhat misplaced. Mind you, it’s understandable…I mean, we all relish the thought of our country, at long last, scraping Newt off the sole of its collective shoe like a maddeningly stubborn clod of dog shit. But if it’s all about the grift, it’s hard to see where the problem is. Already he’s explaining yesterday away by saying that he’s running a new kind of campaign that the “traditional” consultants just can’t get their heads around, which dovetails perfectly with the laughable notion that he’s the maverick outsider who’s going to shake up the cozy, complacent DC establishment. And however ridiculous that may be, somebody out there will buy it, not just figuratively, but literally.

    Palin may still have us all guessing about her ultimate intentions, but nobody should be guessing about Newt at this point. This is a classic, P.T. Barnum-style, all-American con. And by gum, it works like a charm. Every time.

    • timb

      Sean Hannity always thought he could win….

      or, at least, he said he thought it. Probably because Newt offered him a cut, like Ollie does every year when they steal from the kids of dead soldiers.

      Grifters and hacks, the likes of whom haven’t been seen in polite company since the Depression

  • nick

    exactly–given the insane American political season, you can be thinking about running about 80% of the time, which makes it more or less a full-time job….

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