Maybe They’re Meeting to Discuss the National Security Implications of Bathroom Vanities
By 
Welp.
Sure. Why the fuck not?
With respect to Paul’s inquiry about the big meeting Hegseth has called… I just don’t know. In talking with my people who are still inside there’s a lot of confusion and no one seems to have a clear idea of why the meeting is happening. Howard Altman offers a little more lack of detail:
The Pentagon confirmed the meeting but provided no details.
“The Secretary of War will be addressing his senior military leaders early next week,” Chief Pentagon Spokesman Sean Parnell said in a statement.
The meeting, first reported by The Washington Post, comes as Hegseth is looking to trim the ranks of the military’s top commanders and reduce the number of headquarters.
“The directive was issued earlier this week…months after Hegseth’s team at the Pentagon announced plans to undertake a sweeping consolidation of top military commands, according to The Post.
There are more than 800 admirals and generals, and the order about the meeting affects all the commanding officers, the publication noted.
No fucking idea. The only plausible guess I’ve seen that would sound halfway normal is the need to prep for a prolonged government shutdown, which is a sentence that is hard to say out loud without breaking into a fit of freakish laugh-crying. Another guess is that it’s to administer some kind of (highly illegal) loyalty oath to the President, which would likely result in the immediate retirement of a significant percentage of the senior brass.
We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?