The crack up

Elon Musk seems to be falling apart pretty fast, even as one of his hired receptacles decants XJ-451! or whatever his 34th kid is called:

It’s been a rough few days for Elon Musk, who appeared at his Oval Office send-off with a black eye he said his son gave him, was the subject of a New York Times profile detailing his messy personal life, and reportedly got into a fight with a Cabinet secretary that at least one person familiar with the matter says became physical. But he would like people to know he is NOT on drugs.

“I am NOT taking drugs!” Musk wrote in a post on X on Saturday, responding to the New York Times story that, in addition to revealing some of the drama that comes with inseminating numerous women as a project to repopulate the earth, alleged copious drug use during Musk’s stint in the political arena. He went on to claim, “The New York Times was lying their ass off,” adding: “I tried *prescription* ketamine a few years ago and said so on X, so this not even news. It helps for getting out of dark mental holes, but haven’t taken it since then.”

The outlet reported that, according to sources familiar with the matter, when Musk jumped on the campaign trail last year, he was “using drugs far more intensely than previously known,” and that he’d “told people he was taking so much ketamine, a powerful anesthetic, that it was affecting his bladder, a known effect of chronic use.” He was also reportedly taking ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms, and “traveled with a daily medication box that held about 20 pills, including ones with the markings of the stimulant Adderall, according to a photo of the box and people who have seen it.”

A little part of it in everyone.

And far be it from us at LGM to engage in tawdry speculation, but has the Emperor of BrokeDick Mountain been cuckolding Dime Store Goebbels?

Meanwhile:

Elon Musk on Tuesday lashed out at President Donald Trump’s agenda bill — which the president is pressuring GOP senators to support — calling it a “disgusting abomination.”

“I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand it anymore. This massive, outrageous, pork-filled Congressional spending bill is a disgusting abomination,” the tech billionaire posted on X. “Shame on those who voted for it: you know you did wrong. You know it.”

He added in a subsequent post: “Congress is making America bankrupt.”

In another, he said: “In November next year, we fire all politicians who betrayed the American people.”

Several White House officials said they were caught off guard by the harsh remarks. While Musk’s sentiments on the bill were no secret to senior staff in the West Wing, they weren’t expecting him to take such a strong public stance, according to those officials, especially given conversations Musk has had with White House staff and GOP lawmakers.

I foresee a couple of messy divorces, literal and metaphorical, as Musk spirals into the Find Out portion of his beautiful quasi-erotic relationship with Donald Trump.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

   Of those who were older than we—

   Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

   Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.