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NFL Open Thread: Pope Urban Petrino Spurrier Holtz Meyer Edition

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The most celebrated offseason NFL coaching hire started his career by getting curb-stomped by the worst 53-man roster in the league:

The Jaguars story so far: Sunday began with an insider report from Jason La Canfora of CBS Sports that gives the impression that, behind the scenes, Urban Meyer behaves like an anti-masker at a Massachusetts school board meeting. The Jaguars were then humiliated by the Texans in a 37-21 defeat that had some serious Sun Belt/Fun Belt energy.

What’s going wrong? Where to begin?The Jaguars lined up illegally on their first offensive snap, with an eligible receiver covered at the line of scrimmage. They incurred two more illegal formation penalties because their tackles kept lining up too far behind the line of scrimmage, plus a 12-men in the huddle penalty. In other words, they did not look very well prepared.

The Jaguars defense rushed two (2) defenders on third-and-5 at one point, allowing an easy Texans conversion. It appeared to be a “Contain-a-Tyrod” tactic, with would-be edge rushers dropping into the flats. If that’s how Joe Cullen approaches stopping Tyrod Taylor, imagine what he might do against Kyler Murray in two weeks!

The nadir of Sunday’s loss came with 59 seconds to play before halftime, when the Jaguars already trailed 20-7. Trevor Lawrence threw three incomplete passes, at least two of which were catchable, taking just 22 seconds off the clock. The Texans then drove 69 yards on four plays, including a scramble-and-bomb to Brandin Cooks and two receptions by Danny Freakin’ Amendola. The two-possession sequence neatly illustrates just how listless and sloppy the Jaguars were on both sides of the ball.

And we haven’t even gotten to the most remarkable fact of his tenure so far, the ridiculous Tim Tebow TE experiment included:

Look, Meyer is an easy punchline for many reasons. But the Jaguars offense was mostly Darrell Bevell/Brian Schottenheimer porridge on Sunday, with a little of Meyer’s quick spread game sprinkled on top. If we’re doing this, let’s do this by giving some variation on the old Florida/Ohio State offenses an NFL whirl. Because if Meyer isn’t bringing his scheme to the table, why is he even at the table?

I can’t believe he hired both of them (and didn’t even get Tom Cable to complete the trifecta!) Hiring Brian Schottenhemier to be your passing game coordinator is like hiring Ron DeSantis to do your COVID response. Wait, I’ll come in again.

Anyway, no matter how badly he fails in the NFL he will be an even worse person.

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