One thing I expect during the coming Trumpocalypse is a sharp uptick in the number of people soiling themselves because a cashier said “Happy Holidays” or “Thank you” or “Have a good day” rather than “Merry Christmas the holiday of Christians and the original Americans like George Washington, because those other so-called religions are evil and dumb and foreign,” during November and most of December. (I am assuming Washington’s still cool with the True Patriot set, but haven’t checked the scoreboards recently.)
After all, Emperor Tangelo says it all of the time, sometimes six million times a day! And one of his courtiers said it’s O.K. to say it, so anyone doesn’t say it is trying to upset the poor members of the most oppressed religion ever and probably not a Christian.
“President-elect Trump loves Christmas and makes a point of proudly saying ‘Merry Christmas’ every chance he gets,” his transition team said in a November statement announcing that it was offering in its online store a Christmas ornament version of his famous “Make America Great Again” hat. The ornament retails for $149.
“You can say again ‘merry Christmas’ because Donald Trump is now the president,” Corey Lewandowski, a former Trump campaign manager, said on “Hannity” Tuesday evening. “You can say it again. It’s OK to say.”
Actually, Trump isn’t president yet, but confident assertions that Daddy’s in charge now will serve as an amusing contrast to the hourly assertions that this stuff is hard and he’s still learning so shut up so he can MAGA!
At any rate, as this country becomes shittier, inconsequential garbage like the ability to do a thing one could always do will be elevated in importance and become the basis for any number of grievances that will be used to direct the base’s anger away from the causes of all the misery.
Sure the handful of jobs Trump has managed to bring back to MAGAmerica involve picking through radioactive sewage for $3 an hour and the mandatory rental of a leaky company HAZMAT suit is $1.75 an hour plus $50 cleaning fee, but look over there! That grocery store (the one you never go in because it sells fruit, vegetables and the fancy bread that is made from wheat instead of sawdust and rat turds) keeps attacking you by aggressively placing Kosher items on the endcaps during certain times of the year. That’s double-plus un-MAGA and the only MAGA thing to do is hurt some people who commit wrongprayer or some other form of existcrime!
And the NYT will describe the torching of a synagogue and the appropriate positioning of Kosher foods as “bias incidents.”
As an aside, I can’t pinpoint the lie in this statement regarding the Trumpmas ornaments:
The site says money from purchases will go to a joint fundraising committee the Trump campaign has with the Republican National Committee.
Is it that the Trumpsition Team actually has a joint fundraising committee with the RNC, or does a committee exist, but money from the purchases will somehow not wind up in it? Or am I being too cynical? Perhaps the money will go to the committee, i.e. the members of the committee.