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If you want to destroy my sweater, pull this thread as I have a public meltdown on the internet

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Now this–THIS–is a sweater that’ll show your testicles off to great effect

 

When I saw that Scott Adams was trending on twitter, I knew that I was in for a treat. Was not disappointed. Adams continues his tin-foil-hatted descent into parody unabated by things like self-awareness or having even one scintilla of humility, and it is a joy to behold.

 

Check out this commercial for dishwasher detergent. And take careful note of the American man’s v-neck sweater. That’s the uniform of a man who is owned by a woman. 

You’re laughing because you know it’s true. How many of the married men reading this blog have received those same sweaters as “gifts” from women? Personally, I’ve received about 25 over the years. None from men. I received three of those sweaters so far this year. I throw them away. Nice try.

Yes, nice try giving me a thoughtful gift, ladies, but I’m on to you! And I won’t be caught dead in the v-necked yoke of your cashmere-based oppression! (By the by, WHO is giving Scott Adams all these sweaters? Why are they all v-necked? I have so many questions.)

Many of you can’t talk about this topic without being accused of sexism, losing your jobs, and being cast out of your social groups. But I can talk about it because I endorse Hillary Clinton for president. I did that for my personal safety, because I live in California, but still, I’m on the progressive side now. That gives me some extra freedom of speech.

If you are following the election polls, you know that Clinton has greater support from women while Trump has greater support from men. Trump probably can’t win the presidency unless he gets massive voter turnout from American men. 

Will that happen?

The dishwasher soap commercial should give you a hint of how big that turnout might be.

Is this performance art? I genuinely can’t tell.

You can criticize Donald Trump on many dimensions. You can say he’s not really a great businessman. You can say he’s offensive. You can say he lies. You can hate his position on issues. You can say he has insufficient policy details. And lots more. But I think we all agree that Melania never asks Donald to go back to the store because he’s too dumb to buy the right kind of soap on the first try.

Well. A.) I imagine that Trump doesn’t actually buy anything for himself and B.) if he actually had to he would, in fact, be too dumb to buy the right thing because he is congealed Cheetos dust in a pear-shaped suit.

But anyway, good luck with your manly man election, fellas. I’m sure you’ll all get issued Slovenian model-wives and apartments that look like Russian bordellos if The Great Orange One wins.

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