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Disenchantedestablishimentarianism

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The front page of the NYT includes an article I feel I’ve read before: For Republicans, Mounting Fears of Split.

Am I imagining things? One reason this seems familiar is the SRCRA lede.

The Republican Party is facing a historic split over its fundamental principles and identity, as its once powerful establishment grapples with an eruption of class tensions, ethnic resentments and mistrust among working-class conservatives who are demanding a presidential nominee who represents their interests.

That’s Standard Reflexive Covering of Republican Ass. Is it possible that any semi-sentient American doesn’t know that the cause of any tension within the Republican Party is in fact, the friggin Republican Party? Of course not, that was a rhetorical question y’fool. This is Dr. Jekyll wrestling with Mr. Hyde.

But the NYT’s feigned befuddlement gave rise to some amusing passages, so at least there’s that.

The issues animating grass-roots voters — opposition to immigration, worries about wages and discomfort with America’s fast-changing demographics — are diverging from and at times colliding with the Republican establishment’s interests in free trade, lower taxes, less regulation and openness to immigration.

The issues animating grass-roots voters (and here, in keeping with the Looney Tunes theme, I picture a bunch of Yosemite Sams leaping up and down, waving their shootin’ ahrns and saying “Dooooooo!”) apparently fell out of the sky and landed in their heads.

And, if you count transmissions from unelected neo-conservative officials, such as Condolezza Rice fave Fox News guys, and erstwhile kingmaker Rush Limbaugh, I guess they they did. But they have also been falling out of the tooth holes of the GOP establishment for as long as I can remember. Especially [delicate cough] “discomfort with fast-changing demographics,” which is what normal people call bigotry.

And if you’re wondering whether the dickheads who bankrolled and profited from grass-root voter animation efforts are starting to connect the dots, I’ll assume you just woke up.

The divide was evident at a recent Greenville, S.C., gathering of bankers and lawyers, reliable Republicans who shared tea and pastries and their growing anxieties about where their party is going. In a meeting room near the wooded shore of Furman Lake, the group of mostly older white men expressed concern that their party was fracturing over free trade, immigration and Wall Street. And they worried that their candidates — mainstream conservatives like Jeb Bush — were losing.

“It’s all really hard to believe that decades of Republican ideas are at risk,” said Barry Wynn, a prominent Bush donor at the meeting.

[Finishes solo on microscopic violin.] Gosh. How tragic it is. How unfair.

If a wealthy man smiles while angry hordes rage around around knocking holes in the foundations and supporting walls (perhaps using sledgehammers and pick axes that he ordered for this purpose), he should not have to put up with chilly drafts and worrying creaking noises from the roof!

Incidentally (but not surprisingly), the article includes quotes from exactly two members of the disenchanted voter base. Here’s one.

Dave Conger, 60, a salesman who showed up at a Cruz campaign stop last week with a Cruz pin on his chest, said he had worked to elect both President George W. Bush and his father, but “was told a lot of things and nothing ever happened.”

He added, “This time I’m actually hearing somebody who’s telling me the truth; they’re actually going to go in and do something they say they’re going to do.”

My first thought was “How the hell is this different from every other election?” But then I realized the telling the truth = not even bothering to pretend the bullhorn is a dog whistle. In short, he’s attracted to what he sees as the biggest asshole in the room. Derp. Hey, I just woke up too.

Anyway, what does failed presidential candidate Sen. Lindsey Graham and favorite target of closet homophobes have to say about this?

“If Trump or Cruz wins the White House, then my side of the party has to re-evaluate who we are, what we stand for, and I’d be willing to do that,” Mr. Graham said.

OK, I know I’ve heard “If we lose we need to re-evaluate our positions,” before. I’m still not sure if it is an outright lie, or if the GOP, like many organizations populated by hyper-privileged and mean people, is unable to comprehend that it isn’t perfect and so the re-evaluation involves a check to see if they have arugula stuck in their front teeth.

But if Trump or Cruz loses the presidency, would their supporters re-evaluate their views on immigration and other issues that would grow the party?

You mean admit they were wrong, rather than blame the loss on liberal lamestream media, voter fraud by Obamaphone wielding welfare moochers and Mexicans smuggled over the border by Jade Helm, as your party has trained them to do? All signs point to nope.

If they do that, we can come back together. If they don’t, the party probably splits in a permanent way.

Oh dear. I guess you’re fucked.

 

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