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How to Decide the GOP Primaries

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Lucha-Libre

The only way the Republican primaries should be decided is in the ring, WWE style. Tag-team preferred. Given the predilection to violence among various Republican staffers, this is the only clear option. Unfortunately, Scott Walker dropped out before someone could break a chair over his head. Luckily, someone could still do that to Ted Cruz. Of course, if the Republicans had any class, this would be done with lucha masks, but then that would reek of foreign taint, and who knows how many of those lucha dudes are actually Muslim terrorists/drug dealers/job thieves/scary brown people?

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