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The only problem I had was narrowing the list down to eight


On the heels of his very stupid statements about shark attacks yesterday, I decided to remind American why Brian Kilmeade of “Fox & Friends” is a national treasure:

Brian Kilmeade is, without a doubt, intended to be a walking punchline on a program already full of them — “Fox & Friends” co-host Steve Doocy’s area of expertise is, after all, being a man who eats — so when he wondered yesterday why “they” don’t just “have a way of clearing the waters [of sharks] before a surfing competition of this level,” most observers weren’t surprised that Kilmeade believes we have the technology to rid the oceans of an entire class of animals.

But instead of lingering on whether he thinks America has a shark-vacuum, a laser-equipped satellite capable of identifying and eliminating sharks from space, or a weather-controlling machine capable of suctioning up the offending fishes in a series of spectacular sharknadoes, we here at Salon thought it would be better to remind readers of the greatest things Fox News’ resident man-child has said, beginning with…

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