Mystery Meat

The meat industry is very upset by new regulations forcing meat producers to tell consumers where the meat comes from:

“Segregating and tracking animals according to the countries where production steps occurred and detailing that information on a label may be a bureaucrat’s paperwork fantasy, but the labels that result will serve only to confuse consumers, raise the prices they pay, and put some producers and meat and poultry companies out of business in the process,” Mark Dopp, an AMI executive, said in a statement.

Segregation! Is the cow black? If that’s the case, I suppose it’s OK. But those lighter colored cows, no way. That’s a superior cut of meat right there. Really, I haven’t been this outraged since George Zimmerman didn’t receive a parade for killing that hoodlum Trayvon Martin. I’ll bet some of black cows wear hoodies. Heck, they can’t even spell. I’ve seen my share of Chick-Fil-A commercials and we know how those gangster cows with their hoodies and their weed and their walking home at night act.

In all seriousness, we should probably assume most of meat, especially anything ground, has a high percentage of dog.