Centralia
By If you live a city named Centralia, I recommend moving with all due speed before something terrible happens.
Exhibit A: Centralia, Washington, home of the Centralia Massacre of 1919.
Exhibit B: Centralia, Illinois, home of the Centralia mine disaster of 1947.
Exhibit C: Centralia, Missouri, home of another Centralia Massacre, this time during the Civil War, in 1864.
And then there’s Exhibit D: Centralia, Pennsylvania. First, this poor town depopulated after a coal seam was set on fire in 1962, making it uninhabitable. Then it became a graffiti capital, since why not. Now the graffiti has turned into hundreds of drawn penises all over town.
I was actually less than 5 miles from here last Saturday and I forgot this place existed. That one stings. Will have to go back.