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The Party of Ideas

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Finally, the Republicans — truly becoming the party of Paul Ryan with a little Ron Paul on the side — have the courage to consider some real solutions!

The Republican Party is set to call for the creation of a commission to look at restoring a link between the U.S. dollar and gold severed 40 years ago, the Financial Times reported on its website Thursday.

LGM has obtained advance copies of the platform, showing that the Republican Party want commissions to asses other important questions:

  • Does the sun revolve around the earth?
  • How many pet dinosaurs did families typically have in the first years of the Earth 6,000 years ago?
  • Do women have fewer teeth than men?  (A draft suggesting inquiry into the question of whether this gives women less decision-making capacity then men was rejected; the Republican platform has already answered that question in the affirmative.)
  • Can witches be identified by drowning?
  • Does Barack Obama have the brainpan of a stagecoach tilter?
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