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“Give me the White House or I’ll shoot myself in the face!”

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“Please don’t shoot yourself in the face!”

“You think I won’t shoot myself in the face? Because I will!”

“I know you like to shoot people in the face but please don’t!”

“I’m gonna!”

“Why would you?”

“You left me no choice!”

“This is my fault?”

Your commercial made me look like a bureaucrat with the sensitivity of a serial killer!”

“Shooting yourself in the face will change that how?”

“It’ll show that I care!”

“So it’s like ‘Bam!’ You care!”

“Damn right! Oh Bam! I care!”

“O Bam! A care?”

“What did you just say? Shit!”

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