Teacher to the World, Teacher to None
SEK walks past the library on Ring Road and hears a student hawking banana splits.
RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS! WE HAVE THEM! BANANA SPLITS!
SEK momentarily thinks about how refreshing a banana split might—
RANDOM STUDENT: B-A-N-N-A-S-S! BANANA SPLITS!
SEK does an admittedly grumpy double-take.
RANDOM STUDENT: B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS! BANANAS! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THEM! WE HAVE THEM!
SEK does his damnedest not to do what you know he’s going to do, but in a moment of predictable weakness, turns around and confronts the hawker anyway.
SEK: You have what now?
RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS! ONLY FOUR DOLLARS! B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS!
SEK: (politely) Are you sure that’s what you have?
RANDOM STUDENT: BANANA SPLITS, DUDE. I’VE BEEN SELLING THEM FOR HOURS.
SEK: Successfully?
RANDOM STUDENT: YES SUCCESSFULLY. BANANA SPLITS! B-A-N-N-A-S-S SPLITS ONLY FOUR DOLLARS!
SEK considers whether he wants to go full-on Larry David, decides against it, and begins walking away.
RANDOM STUDENT: ALL THAT TALK DUDE AND YOU AIN’T EVEN GONNA BUY ONE SPLIT? IT’S FOR A CAUSE.
SEK chomps down on his tongue, lowers his head and continues walking away because him being exhausted and it being Spring Quarter is no excuse for what would otherwise inevitably follow.