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Ooooh! Hewitt Quiz!

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Pasty McChaste, in re Saving Private Romney:

A question for lefties in love with [the chickenhawk] meme: Have you denounced The New Republic‘s and Private Beauchamp’s slanders? Have you talked up the virtues of serving in uniform in time of war? Or do you dispute that we are in a war, and find it convenient to focus on alleged war crimes and other misdeeds of the military? Do you accuse the Administration of fighting for oil, or of misleading us into war? Are you tearing down the military and yet condemning people for not serving in it?

That’s, um, five questions? But I’m bored, and the Red Sox seem intent on ruining another evening for me, so I’ll bite.

(1) No. But I’m one of those nutters who’s disinclined to believe the Weekly Standard when it claims without verification that something — say, an author’s “signed recantation,” or a stockpile of WMD — exists. So if by “slander” you mean “impossibly ambiguous, conflicting claims about several stories of minimal overall consequence,” the answer is still . . . no.

(2) No. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no abstract virtue that automatically inheres to military service (or to teaching, or to brokering stocks, or to tending animals at a zoo). And in the context of a specific military adventure promoted and designed and administered by people who seem lacking in either shame or virtue, I’d advise anyone — as Al Swearengen might put it — to stay far fucking afield of a war like this.

(3) Huh? Hold on a sec — oh, crap! Can’t the Sox hold a lead this month? Jesus. Where was I? Oh, right. Stupid quiz.

(4) A little from column A, a little from column B, but mostly from the column labeled “A Pig’s Breakfast of Incoherent and Contradictory Reasons, None of Which Have Been Validated by Actual Events But All of Which Knocked Iraq Into a Cocked Hat.”

(5) Not as far as I can tell. I mean, I’ve tried “tearing down the military” — really, who hasn’t? — but I discovered it was almost as difficult as “smashing the state.” Then I realized that if I actually wanted to “tear down the military,” I’d probably start by committing it to an open-ended, poorly-conceived adventure in a country that had nothing to with the attacks in 2001. Seriously, Hugh — have you forgotten about 9/11?

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