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I’m actually being quite charitable here

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While Augusto Pinochet lived decades longer than any reasonable human being would have hoped, we might take some small comfort in noting that his mighty, fascist heart disintegrated on the 58th anniversary of the passage of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (a statement infamously derided by the recently-departed Jeane Kirkpatrick as a “letter to Santa Claus.”) That document — which like so many others has been rendered “quaint” in recent years — reads in part:

Article 5. No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

Article 7. All are equal before the law and are entitled without any discrimination to equal protection of the law. All are entitled to equal protection against any discrimination in violation of this Declaration and against any incitement to such discrimination.

Article 8. Everyone has the right to an effective remedy by the competent national tribunals for acts violating the fundamental rights granted him by the constitution or by law.

Article 9. No one shall be subjected to arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.

Article 10. Everyone is entitled in full equality to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him.

Article 12. No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

One hopes that General Pinochet, as his blackened soul roasts for all eternity like a hog turning on a spit, will be treated to a reading of the Universal Declaration on an endless audio loop, narrated by the families of the tens of thousands of South Americans whose lives were dispached by Pinochet, Alfredo Stroessner, Jorge Videla, and the thousands of anonymous thugs in their employ.

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