If Only David Ortiz Gave The Same Attention To His Hitting That He Does To His Speed And Defense

shorter verbatim Our Lady of the Dolphins I: “What was needed was a definitive statement: As of this moment we will control our borders, I’m sending in the men, I’m giving this the attention I’ve given to the Mideast.” [Amazingly, not my emphasis.]

You know, even if you don’t think that illegal immigration is a huge problem, I’m not sure that eliminating effective state power while destroying infrastructure and killing tens of thousands of people is really the way to go here. But I’m sure if Bush gives this the same attention he gave Iraq, disaster prepardness, and fiscal policy, the result can only be pure gold!

shorter verbatim Our Lady of the Dolphins II: “I do not understand the thinking of a studio that would make, for the amusement of a nation 85% to 90% of whose people identify themselves as Christian, a major movie aimed at attacking the central tenets of that faith, and insulting as poor fools its gulled adherents. Why would Tom Hanks lend his prestige to such a film? Why would Ron Howard?”

It’s truly one of the great puzzles of our time. Why on earth would a studio hire middlebrow hacks to put an enormously successful bad novel on film? I guess it’s one of those eternal mysteries we’ll never know the answer to, like why Scalia would embrace a broad equal protection claim in Bush v. Gore, or why Calvin Klein has never hired me to be an underwear model. Not until mystic sea animals carry us to wisdom shall we find the necessary wisdom.

(Via alicublog.)

…bonus link: what’s up with this? Does Jonah think that Joss Whedon actually believes in vampires and mystical powers, that his shows are essays or something?

This actually reminds me of Tia’s recent post. Like her, I can’t imagine dating someone who was a big believer in astrology, but I’m not sure that it’s an entriely principled distinction.