"I think whenever Randy feels physically able to do it, he’ll jump in there…"

Normally, this kind of lowbrow humor would be beneath the always-high standards of this blog, but since Dave Noon pointed it out it should be noted that this is not, in fact, parody. (It should also create nostalgia for the Seattle fan who pines for the teams of the late 90s, as that team also had a remarkable number of phallic nicknames.)

Reports that the story was written by John Hinderaker are unconfirmed at this time.