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A Nightmare of Evil

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This is the last goddamn thing we need:

George Lucas wants to bring a live-action “Star Wars” series to television by autumn 2006.
The good guys at the Inland Empire Strikes Back Web site have been chatting up some insiders up at Lucasfilm, and they’re all talking about who should be its showrunner, and some of those guys think it should be “Jersey Girl” mastermind (and avowed “Star Wars” geek) Kevin Smith.

The union of Kevin Smith and George Lucas might well produce an hour of “entertainment” so bad that nothing, not even sanity, could escape. I suspect that the effect would be akin to the videotape of “Infinite Jest”, and that America would be left with an entire subsection of the populace no longer capable of feeding, bathing, or clothing themselves. The profound terribleness of such a collaboration would also certainly remove any lasting vestiges of a “veil of protection” from the United States. All of America might come to look like Florida, beset by multiple hurricanes and slack-jawed Republicans.

This must be stopped. Here and now. This project must be terminated with extreme prejudice. Somebody find Martin Sheen.

Incidentally, after “Jersey Girl”, why is anyone thinking of ever giving Kevin Smith another project? I guess only Lucas could come up with something so senseless.

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