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“We must all remember how Our Lord and Savior suffered when the Romans stabbed Him in the McRibs.”

[ 60 ] November 28, 2014 |

The “church branding agency” probably should’ve went with Chick fil A — what with the in-built demographic crossover — but I can see “the McMass project” working out just as well.

“You made a bear!”

[ 7 ] November 24, 2014 |


Not quite, Spike — I just wrote an Internet Film School column about the Thanksgiving episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the AV Club.


Thanksgiving is a holiday that allows filmmakers to get back to the medium’s theatrical roots. No elaborate sets are required — just a table and some people who know each other so well they decided to come together once a year rather than interact regularly. It is a chance for film to scale back its visual ambitions and look like a play without stumbling into the stodgy stage direction of an old episode of Masterpiece Theatre. Only unlike those film adaptations of dramatic works, there is a natural quality to the limitations placed upon a film that happens on Thanksgiving. Everyone looks like they’re in the same place not because the theater couldn’t afford better sets, but because everyone is trapped in the same confined spaces by strained familial bonds. Because if ever there were a time and a place for families to fall apart, it’s Thanksgiving.

Families fall apart all the time — I consider “families falling apart” to be a genre, and Noah Baumbach the current king of it — but never as spectacularly as they do during Thanksgiving. Perhaps as alluded to above, it is because of the artificially pressurized atmosphere the holiday creates. People who don’t particularly like each other are yet again forced to make extended displays of false joviality in order to please the one family member who actually cares about everyone. Sometimes that character is a doting mother, sometimes a dying father, or in the case of the “Pangs” episode of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, an empty-nested Chosen One whose surrogate family is on the brink of collapse…

I eagerly await Mary Rosh’s rebuttal

[ 75 ] November 17, 2014 |

Apparently, when you control for the crack-cocaine epidemic, it turns out the equation is “More Guns, More Crime.” 

Because I’m an equal opportunity shit-stirrer…

[ 4 ] November 10, 2014 |

I spoke to Chris Kluwe about my earlier interview with Adam Baldwin. This part should amuse some of the folks who commented on the previous post:

Kluwe began by noting that it was strange that Baldwin, a critic of journalistic ethics, requested that the interview be conducted on Twitter, which is not conventional journalistic procedure — but that he understood the desire to work in a format in which ideological opponents would not be able to manipulate your words.

So, I interviewed Adam Baldwin about GamerGate…

[ 62 ] November 10, 2014 |

…and Animal Mother/Jayne didn’t disappoint.

Though he did want to talk about the Frankfurt School more than I expected.


There is privilege, then there is privilege

[ 92 ] November 9, 2014 |

…and then there’s whatever this is.

The Swiss have perfected robotic ghost-making technology…

[ 1 ] November 7, 2014 |

…otherwise known as “Step #1″ in the “How To Turn Humanity Into Pointless-Rave-Hallucinating Robot-Batteries” manual.

#GamerGate in a nutshell

[ 44 ] November 4, 2014 |

I believe if you start reading here you’ll be able to see exactly what I’ve been dealing with tonight…but that’s not why I’m writing this.

I’m writing this because some people — who can not be proven to be the people involved in that conversation — are threatening to tell my employers that I’ve been accused of sexual harassment and am therefore an enemy to “true feminists” and “feminism” everywhere. They’re also claiming that I failed to act appropriately in another awful incident and this, I admit, is why I’m angry enough to write this post.

All of which tells me everything I need to know about them who would doxx me — I say let ‘em, as I know y’all remember things I’ve done that are far worse or more impolitic. Right?

Alabama school system only paid a former FBI agent $150K to spy on the black students…

[ 21 ] November 3, 2014 |

…it didn’t expect the company that hired him would just start doing surveillance on the entire town.

It’s all about shyster ethics in Jew-run journalism

[ 66 ] November 1, 2014 |

I can’t believe I forgot about this! While researching a GamerGate piece the other day on 8chan, I repeatedly came across the most accurate Photoshop of Anita Sarkeesian ever, and I meant to recommend it to any reasonably attractive lady — you have a bit of a burgeoning thigh issue, but nothing a few hours a week in the gym won’t fix — who thinks herself a “real feminist” as a Halloween costume:


I apologize to all you almost sexy bitches for forgetting to do so. Banish me to the friendzone if you must, but remember — I was always The One!

The 25 worst people of the day this Halloween

[ 69 ] October 31, 2014 |

I’ve got say — watching my friend and colleague David Ferguson bang this out yesterday was an unqualified pleasure. Sample:

4. Bill Maher

Why he’s scary: His agenda appears to be sliding further and further to the right and now he’s even flirting with Rand Paul. We’re concerned that by spring thaw he will have gone full Dennis Miller and be appearing on Fox News.

Our tribute: Smoking a bomber joint while sexually harassing a stripper in a mosque.

New Internet Film School column: Why good horror should damn near bore you to tears

[ 7 ] October 30, 2014 |


On the Japanese version of Ringu and why she’s having so much fun up there. Sample:

The most interesting visual element in this shot is the perspective implied by the camera placement. By partially obscuring the view of Reiko Asakawa, Nakata suggests that this might be a point-of-view shot, thereby planting in the minds of the audience the idea that perhaps she’s being watched—and that the audience might be sharing the perspective of whoever (or whatever) is doing the watching. The fact that the camera is perfectly still here adds to the unease, because that lack of movement alone suggests the watcher may (or may not) be in plain sight, yet is undetected and wishes to remain so. In classic horror fashion, Nakata wants his audience to inhabit the mind and perspective of a stalker.

And you know what? Being a stalker is dull…


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