This may be of interest to some of you. I only post the OLDMAN CAT posts that aren’t too self-referential or self-involved here, but 100 percent of all OLDMAN CAT posts will be on his new Facebook page, which in the two days since I put it up have given me new insight as to how Marshall Mathers must feel about “Eminem.”
On another note, a certain artistically talented person who posts here is collaborating with a certain elderly feline on a project. GET EXCITED PEOPLE 2016 IS THE YEAR OF OLDMAN CAT.
And I’m actually not kidding. I gave Fieri a little bit of snark in a piece I wrote earlier, but I also acknowledged that he’s done more for small businesses than any Republican in recent memory, and received an outpouring of supportive email from Fieri supporters — owners of restaurants only still in business because of him, leaders of motorcycle gangs who plan their summer road trips around Diners, Drive-In, and Dives, etc. — so I contacted his representatives and I’ve got an interview scheduled for after the New Year.
So I’m putting it out there — outside of the branding, about which I already know how you feel, what do you think about the project behind the show? It’s the most popular program, by far, on Food Network — only Chopped approaches it — but its ethos is decidedly in line with ours. (Unless you’re that guy, in which case, this is just another example of lower class privilege, whatever that means.) Point being, set snark aside, admit to your guilty pleasure, and feel free to relay questions about why Guy Fieri pretends to like matzo balls that my bubbie would come to blows over if she heard about that recipe…
…or, you know, other questions. I’ve got that matzo ball one covered, my grandma wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t.
…with the VanderMeer Winter Mix Tape Bundle. Jeff and Ann VanderMeer are the two greatest living curators of science fiction in my humble opinion, and the works they’re including in this bundle are worth whatever you decide to pay for them — which is up to you. They need $300 to meet their goal for the year, and I’m sure we can help them achieve that. Here’s their announcement: Read more…
(SEK is on line at the gas station waiting for a pump to open, listening to the “Hamilton” soundtrack, admittedly too loudly because he is deaf, when OLD WHITE MAN ambles up and taps on his window.)
OLD WHITE MAN: (angrily) …!
SEK: (rolls down window) Sorry, what, I couldn’t hear you?
OLD WHITE MAN: (irately) …!
SEK: (turns down “Hamilton” soundtrack) Sorry, again, what can I do you for?
OLD WHITE MAN: Turn that crap down.
Thomas, that was a real nice declaration,
Welcome to the present, we’re running a real nation.
Would you like to join us, or stay mellow,
Doin’ whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello?
OLD WHITE MAN: Turn your nigger music down, there are kids here.
OLD WHITE MAN: This used to be a Christian nation.
A civics lesson from a slaver? Hey neighbor,
Your debts are paid cuz you don’t pay for labor.
“We plant seeds in the South. We create,”
Yeah, keep ranting, we know who’s really doing the planting.
(OLD WHITE MAN walks back to his car. SEK attempts to pick up his jaw from the floor mats of his.)