MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Hello, are you OK?
SEK (confused): Are you OK?
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Are YOU OK?
SEK (still confused): I’m fine. Who are you?
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Who are YOU?
SEK (still, yes, confused): I’m Scott.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: And where are you?
SEK: (you guessed it) Scott.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: No, WHERE are you?
SEK: (baffled) Outside of Scott, Louisiana.
MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Don’t worry, help is already on the way.
At this point, SEK FINALLY realizes he’s been talking to an OnStar representative and he hears sirens. The EMS and police arrive, and SEK points to unconscious SIDEWAYS GUY and starts talking to the cops.
COP: Could you describe the vehicle?
SEK: It was a bus. It had the [company name written] on the side and…
COP: And what?
SEK: It had a cartoon character on the side of it, and it was…
COP: What was it?
SEK: This is going to sound terrible, and you know I’m trying to be helpful, but…
COP: But what?
SEK: I’m pretty sure it was a cartoon pig dressed up like a cop.
COP: A cartoon pig — dressed up like — a law enforcement officer?
SEK: I’m pretty sure.
COP: OK — you wait here.
SEK then repeats his story to a few other officers, and is informed he will be contacted on Monday to be deposed, as he is the only witness to the accident.
BUT THERE’S MORE — BELOW THE FOLD!