Trump-worshipping billionaire too cheap to keep it on the down low

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft, one of the most powerful men in American football, was charged today on two counts of soliciting prostitution in connection to a recent law enforcement bust on massage parlors in Florida that, according to law enforcement, were used for prostitution and human trafficking. The news comes a few weeks after the Patriots won their sixth Super Bowl and days after Kraft appeared at the NBA All-Star game.

In a press conference Friday morning, Jupiter Police chief Daniel Kerr said Kraft was charged with two counts of soliciting prostitution, and that a warrant for his arrest is with the state’s attorney’s office and will be sent to Kraft’s home in Massachusetts. Kerr said there is video evidence of Kraft involved in sex acts in a massage parlor on two occasions. Twenty-five people total were charged with soliciting prostitution at the Orchids of Asia spa in Jupiter.

For those who are innocent of the ins and outs of the sex trade, “Asian massage parlors” represent the Little Caesar’s Pizza of late capitalist nookie.  (ETA: As people are pointing out, these establishments often keep their workers in quasi-sex slavery. Kraft could have spent a few hundred dollars — the equivalent of a penny to an ordinary person — to hire a high-end sex worker, so that his money wouldn’t be subsidizing the worst sorts of sex trade exploitation, but he didn’t because of course not.  Also, Adam Schefter is reporting that Kraft is not the biggest name caught up in this sting).

Also if you plan to make a Deflategate joke, you had better stick the landing.