Home / awful Americans / Member of Amalgamated Arsonists can’t explain why houses keep catching fire

Member of Amalgamated Arsonists can’t explain why houses keep catching fire


But don’t worry. The arsonists have a plan to provide better houses.

Just as soon as the rest of the houses have burned down.

Trust them.

Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price, M.D. issued the following statement regarding compelling data released today by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) in two new reports related to Obamacare – the Effectuated Enrollment report for the most recent enrollment period and the Health Insurance Exchanges Trends report. The reports show a decline in the number of Americans who have actually purchased coverage on the exchanges, with cost being a primary concern.

“Not surprisingly, as costs continue to go up, fewer Americans can afford to pay more and get less for healthcare. Many individuals and families across the country are tired of having their healthcare options dictated to them by Washington – particularly when those limited options are unaffordable. That’s why every day we are working on behalf of President Trump on solutions that will show a little humility from the federal government, equip states to serve their unique and diverse populations, and put healthcare decisions in the hands of patients, families, and their doctors.”

The only surprise is something tRump planned is actually working. As Andy Slavitt, former acting administrator for CMS noted in his opinion piece on the Senate’s cunning plan to destroy health care in order to save Americans from a policy created by a black man:

Sabotage: Given the unpopularity of the AHCA, Republicans have just one argument: Obamacare has failed. The GOP premise is “bad” beats “dead.” The problem is the facts don’t support this. Medicaid — which accounts for the bulk of the ACA coverage expansion — is successful, popular and bipartisan. The ACA’s individual insurance exchanges got off to an uneasy start, but after five years, insurer filings and independent reports all point to profitable insurers and stable or stabilizing markets — at least until President Trump intervened to rattle insurers.

Taking advantage of those now well-documented efforts to sabotage the ACA, McConnell is reportedly telling his members they have no choice but to pass a replacement. By acting fast, McConnell hopes to minimize the continuing and mounting evidence of sabotage as insurers file rates in places such as North Carolina and Pennsylvania that explicitly break out the specific impact of Trump’s sabotage.

CMS is also seeking public comments on how it can burn down more houses carry out Executive Order 13765, “Minimizing the Economic Burden of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act Pending Repeal.”

Because nothing says the Republicans are running the asylum like HHS and CMS looking for ways to fuck up the economy and the human beings who drive it by wrecking health care.

When the notice came out I assumed bots would working overtime to input the correct responses. But they’re up to 80 responses and haven’t released any, so it looks like people are providing wrongthink.

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  • That’s why every day we are working on behalf of President Trump on solutions that will show a little humility from the federal government…

    I can’t even.

    • synykyl

      Never has there been a President, with few exceptions, who has been more humble than Donald Trump. The single greatest asset he has, according to those that know him, is his humility.

      • PeteW

        Just ask him.

        • And his cabinet members.

        • Gabriel Ratchet

          Bigly humility. All the best humility. Everybody says so.

          • Donald Trump is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Will the people who voted for Trump and stand to get fucked over by this EVER make the connection?

    • Rob in CT

      Most will not, no. A few will, and some portion of those will actually change their thinking because of it.

      But those people probably won’t change any elections. Instead, the muddle-headed low-info swing voters will swing back the other way because we need “change” (quite possibly due to a business cycle recession that has little to do with anything the Trumpists are cooking up, though gutting Dodd-Frank sets up the chance for another great financial panic…).

      I’m gonna go have a few drinks now…

      • twbb

        Fox and Breitbart and the Republicans will chant in unison it’s all Obama’s fault for 4 years, and the Democrats will remain silent, and in 2020 will run on middle class tax cuts or some other idiocy.

        • humanoid.panda

          As Trumps sky high approval ratings indicate this strategy works brilliantly and the low information swing voter Breitbart readers are all MAGA now

      • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

        And a certain number of them are willing to get screwed so long as they think the non-deserving people (= anyone who’s not like them) get screwed worse.

      • e.a.foster

        if they make the connection in mass it could get ugly in the U.S.A. given most of them are strong believers in the Second Amendment.

        it really is time the Dems got their act together or Trump might get re-elected if he doesn’t get impeached.

    • Is this a trick question?

    • Aexia

      They’ll blame Democrats for not stopping Trump from hurting them.

      • muddy

        Indeed, the real problem was clearly Obummercare, which broke everything in the first place.

    • farin

      At this point I’m fine if they get fucked over by it and just die. They voted for the law of the wild, so give it to them.

      • so-in-so

        Sadly, most of the people who do die won’t necessarily be GOP voters. Some, sure, but most people who would be affected (assuming the GOP doesn’t manage to destroy U.S. healthcare more generally) would be people who voted Dem or couldn’t vote.

        • MyNameIsZweig

          “Sadly, most of the people who do die won’t necessarily be GOP voters.”

          Yeah, that’s the only reason I don’t welcome a self-induced thinning of the herd. Lots of people who didn’t ask for this are gonna get it, good and hard.

        • farin

          Right, I’m not cheering for a situation that hurts some Republicans and a lot more innocent people. But given that such a situation occurs, I want it to hurt those Republicans as much as possible. SO MUCH FOR THE TOLERANT LEFT.

      • Mona Williams

        The law of the wild: my new favorite definition of neoliberalism.

        • Redwood Rhiadra

          Trump, his voters, and the AHCA are in no way “neoliberal”.

  • No. They have been conditioned to blame a Democrat. PLUS more than 1/2 will gladly give up their “new” right so that black and brown people get nothing .

    • It’s always about race with conservatives. Always. No matter how they dress it up, peel away enough layers and eventually you’ll get to race being the issue.

      • John Revolta

        Oh come on……… that’s just not fair.

        Often, it’s about the hippies and queers.

        • Mike G

          Their little tribe are the only ones they consider human, or of any value except as livestock to be exploited.

        • Yeah, I have to give you that.

        • Although on second thought, I think there is a difference. Race in America is about caste: either you’re white or you’re not. Sexuality and whatnot is about acting appropriately as a member of the white caste.

  • Tom Till

    Though I try my damnedest not to feel hatred toward others (Dick Cheney happily excepted), it’s simply impossible not to hate these people. But the fact that it’s a richly deserved hatred comforts me. They and their ideology are rancid. Pure psychopaths.

  • efgoldman

    I don’t know enough about arcane senate rules, but if Dems gum up the process by withholding unanimous consent, can’t Yertle McTurtle do away with that requirement just like he’s discarded other things?

    • were-witch

      AFAIK, there is no requirement for unanimous consent for McConnell to waive. UC just skips taking a vote, on routine procedural stuff, to speed things up. Someone withholds consent, they take a few minutes to vote on the motion, things chug along.

      I guess he could try to take really fast votes? xD …I doubt he could do away with the requirement for voting, though… [insert jokes to the contrary here].

      • Lurking Canadian

        What about an old fashioned, read the phone book filibuster? Does the Senate have a “sit down and shut up” rule? If all the Democrats were on board and took turns reading from The Punic Wars for an hour or two they could run out the clock until 2018, couldn’t they?

        • Hogan

          Does the Senate have a “sit down and shut up” rule?

          Only for women.

          Nevertheless, they persist.

  • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

    Just keep focusing on the people this will hurt. I’ve been calling my (R) Senator, human box of soap flakes Pat Toomey and strongly urging him not to take away coverage. A significant number of my patients in recent years have had left their diabetes, hypertension, HIV, Hep C untreated for years, and only started getting care recently due to the expansion.

    • efgoldman

      A significant number of my patients in recent years have had left their diabetes, hypertension, HIV, Hep C untreated for years, and only started getting care recently due to the expansion.

      Ah, but you see it's their fault for not having the money to spend on care all these years. They chose poorly

      • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

        And the Republicans who attend their party’s debates applaud that statement wildly.

        • Predisent Putinfluffer

          Well C’mon, if it wasn’t for sick people this country wouldn’t have health care problems!

  • e.a.foster

    It is most unfortunate people will loose their health care coverage, especially those who voted Democratic. However, those who voted for Trump, well they can live with their decisions or more likely die because of them.

    California is trying to institute a single payer system. It ought to work.

    it is time working Americans got over the b.s. they have been told about single payer government “run” health care. We in Canada have it and we’re doing just fine.

    If people want to believe the b.s. the Republicans put out there, well you can not save those who will not be saved and wish to associate with a billionaire who lied, cheated, etc. his way through his business career.

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