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You Can Never Be Enough of a Stooge For Donald Trump

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Apparently neoconfederate hobbit Jeff Sessions is the latest hack to attract the ire of the Franco of Fifth Avenue:

Few Republicans were quicker to embrace President Trump’s campaign last year than Jeff Sessions, and his reward was one of the most prestigious jobs in America. But more than four months into his presidency, Mr. Trump has grown sour on Mr. Sessions, now his attorney general, blaming him for various troubles that have plagued the White House.

The discontent was on display on Monday in a series of stark early-morning postings on Twitter in which the president faulted his own Justice Department for its defense of his travel ban on visitors from certain predominantly Muslim countries. Mr. Trump accused Mr. Sessions’s department of devising a “politically correct” version of the ban — as if the president had nothing to do with it.

In private, the president’s exasperation has been even sharper. He has intermittently fumed for months over Mr. Sessions’s decision to recuse himself from the investigation into Russian meddling in last year’s election, according to people close to Mr. Trump who insisted on anonymity to describe internal conversations. In Mr. Trump’s view, they said, it was that recusal that eventually led to the appointment of a special counsel who took over the investigation.

If Session ever gets fired or reigns, I wonder which lickpittle Trump will make a point of considering in public and then humiliatingly rejecting? Well, Baker and Haberman provide one answer in this nice bit of shade-throwing:

Alan M. Dershowitz, a professor emeritus at Harvard Law School who has frequently defended Mr. Trump on cable news, said the president was clearly voicing frustration with Mr. Sessions. But he said it was not clear to him that it was a personal issue as opposed to an institutional one with the office.

Ah, the Dersh. If you had any doubt that he’s made the short journey from reflexive contrarian to outright Republican hack, he was recently seen arguing that Trump firing Comey couldn’t have been obstruction of justice, because he has the legal authority to fire the FBI director. So if a friend shows up to your front door and asks if he can hide out at your place for a while and wash the blood of the three people he just killed off his clothes, don’t worry, you have the legal authority to invite people into your home and to own a washing machine, so you’d be in the clear!

Next up after Dershowitz: Jamie Gorelick.

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  • Jordan

    hehehe, Dersh getting nominated by Trump is clearly too ridiculous … to … ever …

    crap

    • twbb

      Alan Dershowitz would make a great Attorney General and I hope he gets the job and has the privilege of spending time with Trump, having to try and explain basic law to the President, having to defend the indefensible, and sacrifice whatever reputation he has left.

      My desire that he gets the job is based solely on my high opinion of his abilities, and has absolutely nothing to do with my complete distaste for Dershowitz.

      • Jordan

        Indeed, he is obviously overwhelmingly qualified and is an elder statesman of our great country. He would clearly enjoy himself explaining fundamental principals to the President at length (perhaps in the form of lengthy memos which the president would undoubtedly read and ponder on in detail).

        My desire for this is also because of our shared opinions of his abilities and not for anything else.

        • El Guapo

          This is the kind of bipartisan spirit Washington so desperately needs right now. Dershowitz can join such celebrated Democrats as Jared & Ivanka Trump.

          • Jordan

            I claim 10% of your salary once you are hired by … well … the village?

          • Peterr

            I look forward to the erudite legal discussions with Steve Bannon, myself.

            • efgoldman

              I look forward to the erudite legal discussions with Steve Bannon

              Speaking of which, I might not put too much credence in the reports that Peach Pit Pustule is disenchanted with Evil Leprechaun. Remember a few weeks ago, when President Bannonazi was going to be shown the door?

          • Domino

            As a liberal, I can’t think of something that would trigger me more than Alan Dershowitz as AG.

            • SatanicPanic

              I’m weeping all over my pajamas just thinking about it.

              • cpinva

                “I’m weeping all over my pajamas just thinking about it.”

                those are flame retardent pj’s, i hope.

                • tsam

                  LOL LIBRALS ARE RETARDENT

        • D. C. Sessions

          I really like your proposal, but need to know:

          How good is he at drawing, especially with crayons?

      • efgoldman

        having to defend the indefensible, and sacrifice whatever reputation he has left.

        And of course, it would finally settle the question of whether torture is legal, because two attorneys general in twenty years would have signed off on it.

      • Barry_D

        “My desire that he gets the job is based solely on my high opinion of his abilities, and has absolutely nothing to do with my complete distaste for Dershowitz.”

        More like his own high opinion…

      • Dershowitz has experience of defending torture and on plagiarizing. He is a perfect fit for a Trump cabinet. Maybe Trump could have chose him as running mate.

    • Phil Perspective

      The best reason for The Dersh getting the job would be it would expose many Democrats for the frauds they are. Remember Dersh’s Islamophobic attack on Ellison a few months ago and the quiet from some Democrats in response?

      • Scott Lemieux

        What I remember is Democrats 1)offering Dersh cab fare to the airport 2)ignoring him because he’s irrelevant and…that’s it.

        • cpinva

          i’d have made him pay his own damn cab fare, or walk. but that’s just me.

        • Colin Day

          What was the destination?

      • SatanicPanic

        You’ve really zeroed in on the most important thing here.

      • Lost Left Coaster

        Huh?

        • Rob in CT

          Classic LOLPhil there.

          • catbirdman

            +1. A fairly complicated tangential concern, yet ridiculous and irrelevant, yet blissfully concise. The highest quality trolling.

            • Jordan

              don’t forget the fire-and-forget style, almost never coming back to comment on replies

              • cpinva

                well, i’m guessing old Phil is a low/no paid troll. you gets what you pays for.

                • efgoldman

                  i’m guessing old Phil is a low/no paid troll.

                  I don’t know which would be worse: that you’re right, or that he’s serious and really means it.

              • “Almost”? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him reply to responses.

                • djw

                  I think he replied once to my mockery of his obsession with Peter Daou’s twitter feed. (He went through a period where about half his trolling contained references to it, implying that a) everyone obsessively follows Daou’s twitter feed as he does, and b) it contains all the evidence you’d ever need for everything he says about the wicked perfidy of the neoliberals who run the Democratic party.)

                • tsam

                  Don’t forget accusals that all us neoliberal stooges are trying to repair Louise Menche’s reputation. That was a big ol WTF

        • wjts

          The sun came up as Phil Perspective’s last crayon finally wore down. He managed to write “The Dersh” with the pea-sized nub of wax and leaned back in the kitchen table. He rubbed his right hand, which ached with the pleasant pleasure that comes after a difficult job is done and done well. He had known when he sat down to write it that Phil Perspective’s Big List of Neoliberals was going to be big, but he was a little surprised by how big it actually was. Two whole Big Chief Tablets, each sheet covered on both sides with the names of every neoliberal he could think of. His stomach rumbled. Important work like this made a man hungry.

          He made his way over to the diner and sat down in a booth by the window. The waitress appeared with a menu, and asked if he wanted coffee.

          “Postum.”

          The waitress looked puzzled. “I’m not sure what that is, sir. We have coffee, tea, hot chocolate, coke…”

          “Postum,” Phil repeated. “And keep it coming.”

          “I’ll come back in a few minutes when you’re ready to order.”

          “I’m ready now. Postum, boiled crayfish, and the pork fried rice.”

          “We… don’t have any of those things, sir. We do breakfast. Pancakes, omelettes, stuff like that. Why don’t you take a minute or two to look over the menu and I’ll come back?”

          “Bernie would have gotten me Postum!” Phil shouted at her. She pretended not to hear. It didn’t matter. She was a neoliberal. He could tell because she was a girl.

          Phil turned around in his seat and leaned into the next booth where two older men were sipping coffee and doing the crossword. “I have a big list of neoliberals,” he said to them. He put his Big Chief Tablets on the table between them. “It exposes many Democrats for the frauds that they are.”

          He felt a hand on his shoulder. It was the busboy. “Sir, you need to leave the other customers alone. And if you’re not going to order anything, you need to leave.”

          Phil narrowed his eyes. “Did Debbie Wasserman Schultz put you up to this?”

          As the busboy dragged him out of the diner, Phil shouted, “You neolibs are going to be sorry when I get more crayons!”

          Then he laughed out loud.

          • Jordan

            thats the good stuff

          • El Guapo

            Lol. Bravo good sir.

          • Domino

            You think you can write a new one where he attempts to state who, exactly, we should all vote for in the next election?

            • efgoldman

              who, exactly, we should all vote for in the next election?

              Nobody who might actually stand a chance of winning.

          • SatanicPanic

            I am thoroughly enjoying this ongoing series.

            • jim, some guy in iowa

              there’s more? damn, I hate when real life such as it is interferes with keeping up with internet traditions

          • cleek

            now i picture Phil as Ignatius T Reilly

          • Lost Left Coaster

            Trying to stifle guffaws of laughter as I read this in a library. Failing.

          • TopsyJane

            “Postum, boiled crayfish, and the pork fried rice.”

            Don’t forget the Dr. Nut.

          • You should collect all these at some point. They’re amazing.

          • The Lorax

            This is superb.

          • tsam

            wjts homework assignment: A novel in the vein of Catch 22.

            I WANT THIS

      • Jordan

        Indeed, the true cacophony of democratic support for the dersh would be overwhelming. Speak on, brother.

      • postmodulator

        I have a serious and sincere question, Phil. What do you think is the purpose of comment sections?

    • ericblair

      It would also be fascinating to see the alt-right Nazi fucksticks start to realize that Trump is surrounding himself with Red Sea pedestrians. Great mitzvah. Yuuge.

      Dershowitz can then get covered in the same corrosive Trump slime that has taken down everyone else around him.

      • Jordan

        if they can take a jewish guy as Trump’s consigliere who got Trump’s own daughter to convert …

        But ya. I think some cracks are already showing, and that would shove a knife into it.

        • CrunchyFrog

          They’re perfectly happy with a limited number of Jews in useful roles managing their money. Just like they are happy having a few thoroughbred blacks playing on their sports teams.

          • Jordan

            Yeah, but I’m not sure how cool they are with jewish people calling the actual shots. Jews as money managers, sure. But Jews actually making the decisions? Doubt they like that.

            • cpinva

              i doubt they could actually tell the difference.

          • Colin Day

            So hiring black players didn’t make Donald Sterling less racist?

    • dr. fancypants

      The clash of egos that would result from Trump appointing Dersh as AG would be no end of entertainment. Dersh is the kind of guy who can’t stand anyone else in the room being a bigger attention-hog than he is.

      I had him for my legal ethics class (go on, laugh), and most of us called it “Story time with Dersh”, because it was all about the amazing things he’d done and the famous people he knew. When talking about attorney-client privilege, he went on a rant that ended with him shouting “I KNOW what happened at Chappaquiddick!” and talking about how he could never tell anyone what he knew. And he made quite a few coy comments about the OJ Simpson case during the semester, just to make clear to everyone that he knew things that he couldn’t tell us.

      • tsam

        That’s one of the quickest ways us people who actually spent some time in the military can spot a bullshitter who was never there. “That’s classified. I can’t talk about it.” K bro.

        I’m sure Dersh was involved with that stuff, but dangling info he can’t discuss in front of people is fucking pathetic.

        • efgoldman

          dangling info he can’t discuss in front of people is fucking pathetic.

          Especially when the “people” in question are a captive audience of stoonts.

      • Jordan

        That just makes me think its more likely for him to get the job. and makes me think it would be more hilarious in a crying sort of way (well … he certainly wouldn’t be worse than session? right???)

        • John F

          No, as horrible a person as he can be, he’d be a massive improvement over Sessions.

          • Jordan

            … sigh. So we are rooting for the Dersh at this point are we? … sigh

            • John F

              He’s not gonna be named in reality.

              • Jordan

                So just when you tell me he’d be an improvement – even if an incredibly bad one – you tell me its not going to happen?

                such is 2017

                (kidding, but ya)

              • petesh

                Reality is under indictment and not available for comment.

          • cpinva

            “No, as horrible a person as he can be, he’d be a massive improvement over Sessions.”

            Dude, that isn’t exactly a high bar to hurdle. I suspect he could accidentally fall over it.

      • Peterr

        Sounds like this was teaching by negative example.

  • CP

    The capacity of conservatives to feel persecuted even while holding every lever of power is impressive, but it’s rarely put out as starkly as it was when Trump went all “DOJ is terrible!” as if those weren’t his troops, under his orders.

    • NewishLawyer

      The problem is that it works on way too many people and this is eventually how coup d’etats happen probably

      • SatanicPanic

        If any would-be coup plotters haven’t seen how Trump treats “the generals” I would advise them to look before taking their next steps.

    • aturner339

      I think it’s an integral part of what how conservatism works as a political attitude. Conservatism is hierarchy. The belief that the “best people” are your people and that they should rule. Whenever the best people fail it must be a miscarriage of justice. Trump is a one man FAILparade so of course he must be being picked on.

      • bizarroMike

        Right, this is the collision between an authoritarian and the rule of law. The thing that makes Trump upset is a fundamental part of the government.

      • Origami Isopod

        Exactly. Dear Leader can never be wrong.

        • Peterr

          And he is constantly wronged.

        • ploeg

          Insofar as Dear Leader is wrong, or is proven to be wrong over time, it is merely because Dear Leader is actually a secret liberal.

  • King Goat

    “Even the liberal Alan Dershowitz…”

    • Q.E.Dumbass

      “Douche-a-shits”

  • keta

    Remember when Bannon was said to be in Trump’s doghouse? And the subsequent US exit from the Paris climate accord?

    This is what’s so entrancing about closely following the mercurial Bam Bam and his childish presidentin’. It must be a perfect hell to work under him, and I’m giddy with anticipation for the books and tell-alls we’ll all be treated to after he’s gone. At least, all the details his porous administration hasn’t already spilled during his trumpestuous tenure.

    • tsam

      I feel that for several years post-Trump, the consensus opinion will be “yeah, we don’t talk about that.”

      But people being free to talk, especially people who failed into this administration devoid of any previous will to do the job with any sense of decency and finding that even being an incorrigible hack isn’t enough to save you from The Trump will reveal some epic craziness. But watching a guy like Sessions end up taking fire from Trump is making me happy for the moment.

      • keta

        Oh yeah, there’s lots of opportunity to occasionally replace the wince with a smile. It’s always comical when the biggest buffoon berates others for his own buffoonery.

        As for the years post-Trump, I somehow get the impression Trump himself won’t go gently into that good night.

      • cpinva

        “I feel that for several years post-Trump, the consensus opinion will be “yeah, we don’t talk about that.”

        there are only so many presidents the GOP can “disappear” from the historical record, before those gaps become glaring.

        • tsam

          I’m waiting for the “he’s really not a conservative” paint job to start getting sprayed. Surprised that hasn’t really resurfaced since the primaries, when pundits were floating the never-trump trial balloons

      • randy khan

        I’m thinking that he will try to invoke Executive Privilege to keep people from publishing memoirs, including after he’s out of office.

        • Hogan

          The yoogest NDA of them all.

      • Brien Jackson

        And even better is that because Trump is Trump, he’s inevitably going to piss everyone around him off in epic fashion. Look at Sessions: the decision to recuse himself that Trump is apparently so upset about actually took the Russian thing off of the front page (for a while) until Trump brought it front and center with the Comey firing. Say what you will about the guy, but Sessions is a good politician whose capable of shrewd manuevering. How long can Trump rage at Sessions and try to make him the scapegoat for Trump’s own stuidity and refusal to listen to anyone before, say, ole’ Beauregard decides to start asking if maybe he can’t get immunized for any hypothetical wrongdoing in exchange for spilling all of the details he knows?

        • tsam

          An axios article today said that Sessions offered up his resignation.

    • bizarroMike

      I think this is a sign of his crack-up. He’s always mad, and the target of his ire roams around a set that consists of “everyone.”

      • Peterr

        Trump lives in a world of extremes and superlatives. Today is either the Greatest Day Ever or the Worst Day Ever. There are no “feels like Tuesday” days in Trump’s life. With people, it’s either everyone or no one. With events, it’s always or never.

        And this is not new. He’s always been like this, though never on this kind of stage.

        Trump’s greatest fear is not losing (he’s come back from failed bankruptcies and failed marriages, after all), but being labeled an Ordinary, Common, Run-of-the-Mill Loser.

        • muddy

          Maybe instead of Narcissistic Personality Disorder he has Borderline Personality Disorder.

          Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

          A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones, often swinging from extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation)

          Distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self

          Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating

          Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting

          Intense and highly changeable moods, with each episode lasting from a few hours to a few days

          Chronic feelings of emptiness

          Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger

          Having stress-related paranoid thoughts

          Having severe dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside the body, or losing touch with reality

          • ¿Porqué no los dos?

            • muddy

              Indeed! I believe some think that the various personality disorders are not distinct, and are rather many facets of a personality disfunction. He’s a fair fit for Histrionic PD as well.

  • NonyNony

    Is it wrong of me to want to see Trump fire Jeff Sessions and replace him with Dershowitz?

    And then when Dershowitz inevitably in also unable to deliver on Trump’s stupid ideas, he also gets fired and is replaced again? And then we just see this repeated every 4-6 months or so for the next 4 years?

    Is it more dangerous to have a revolving door at the top of the Justice Department or one of Trump’s picks actually getting entrenched and making it work for him? I think the latter might be more dangerous, though I’m not sure what repercussions the instability at the top might have vs. stable but vile like under Sessions.

    • so-in-so

      Given how terrible Dump and his appointments are, I vote for a continuing “night of long sporks” until none of them (including Dump) are left standing.

      • “Night of the Short Fingers”

        • Just_Dropping_By

          The best variant that I’ve seen regarding the possibility of Trump purge is, “Night of the Longest, Most Luxurious Knives You’ve Ever Seen.” I think it was someone here who posted it, but searches aren’t immediately turning anything up.

    • John F

      no, it is not wrong of you

    • Scott P.

      So essentially, the AG would be Murphy Brown’s assistant?

  • Thrax

    Not sure if Dershowitz could get through Senate confirmation unless he disavows some of his past positions, such as the corrupt nature of Bush v. Gore and the need for repeal of the Second Amendment. And the fact that he publicly supported Clinton in 2016 would probably make it hard for Trump to pick him.

    • Ahenobarbus

      Being a high profile defense attorney is probably at least as disqualifying as any of that (in the minds of the Senate, that is).

      • Shantanu Saha

        I dunno, I think not a few Republicans will be needing some high profile defense attorneys in short order…

    • twbb

      On the plus side, I’m sure most of the Republicans love his pro-torture position.

  • aab84

    In all seriousness, his lawyers should quit. He is making their jobs impossible. His latest plan is, apparently, to live tweet the Comey hearings.

    • keta

      It seems you really have to need the work to agree to bring Trump in as a client.

      ETA:

      His latest plan is, apparently, to live tweet the Comey hearings.

      Oh please oh please oh please oh please…

      • rea

        “Needing the work” is not a good reason for taking a client who doesn’t pay his lawyers. You don’t really need the work–you need the money from the work.

        (This is grim experience talking here.)

        • cpinva

          oh, c’mon now, you mean to tell me the prestige of representing the President of the United States wouldn’t be “payment” enough? yeah, me either. i’m a CPA, and i wouldn’t take him on as a client without a substantial, upfront retainer. preferably in either cash, or high quality, uncut diamonds.

          i keep expecting his whole house of cards to collapse any day now.

          • If you get real high quality diamonds from trump, that just means he and every other high dollar con artist in the world just got their hands on a diamond maker, and that in a week or two diamonds won’t have the same value/carat as used chewing gum.

        • efgoldman

          “Needing the work” is not a good reason for taking a client who doesn’t pay his lawyers.

          I’m sure the Grifter-in-Chief will put as many of the lawyers as possible on the gummint payroll.

      • dmsilev

        TPM, on the same story:

        “He deserves representation. Everybody does. But if I got the telephone call, the answer would be no,” said Lanny Davis, the White House special counsel in charge of political and legal controversies during Bill Clinton’s impeachment trial. “There are people who say, ‘Davis, you’d represent anyone.” But the answer is no, I would not.”

        To repeat: Lanny Davis wouldn’t stoop to representing Trump. Lanny Davis.

        • Aaron Morrow

          Given that Davis has taken money from brutal dictators before, it’s more likely that he’s already pissed off Trump and would never get the call.

          In analogous news, I refuse to accept a seat on the Supreme Court or the Federal Reserve Board.

        • Peterr

          It’s not about morals with Lanny. Not ever. First, last, and always, it’s about the Benjamins.

          Lanny expects to be paid. He doesn’t take on deadbeats and folks who welch on their deals — and Trump fails on both counts.

          • Brien Jackson

            Nailed it.

          • This use of “welsh” is an ethnic slur. You can’t expect to get away with it scot-free.

        • Jordan

          Jesus. When you’ve lost Lanny Davis …

        • Hogan

          I would do anything for money, but I won’t do that.

        • shawn k

          Lanny’s waiting till Trump is charged with crimes against humanity

          • cpinva

            “Lanny’s waiting till Trump is charged with crimes against humanity”

            i consider Trump’s mere existence to be a crime against humanity.

    • sigaba

      On a parallel note, Isikoff has reported that pretty much every heavy-hitting law firm is turning down the Trump-Russia account.

      But a consistent theme, the sources said, was the concern about whether the president would accept the advice of his lawyers and refrain from public statements and tweets that have consistently undercut his position.

      “The concerns were, ‘The guy won’t pay and he won’t listen,’” said one lawyer close to the White House who is familiar with some of the discussions between the firms and the administration, as well as deliberations within the firms themselves.

      He still can’t find an FBI chief…

      • ericblair

        BETTER CALL SAUL

        • sigaba

          I was about to make a Mr. Show reference but it isn’t apt. Trump administration is actually more of a Tim & Eric sketch.

          • bizarroMike

            That makes me so sad because Mr. Show really had a handle of the ridiculousness of politics from Bush to Bush (“Ladies and gentlemen, children are our future. That’s why the US can, should, and will blow up the moon”). If we’re in Tim & Eric territory, we’re really lost.

            • sigaba

              Others have pointed out that Dave Chapelle pretty much had the Trump presidency dialed in ten years before the fact.

      • aab84

        This honestly isn’t surprising. The names on that list include a bunch of really influential conservative lawyers (Olson and Clement are former SGs, Filip is a former federal judge and Deputy AG), but none of them are remotely stupid.

        • Boots Day

          This is a really remarkable moment in American history. Top law firms are declining to take on our billionaire president as a client because of the entirely reasonable fear that he’ll stiff them.

          • ericblair

            That and he’ll ruin their reputations. Doesn’t matter how competent and careful you are: if you are stuck working with a chaotic walking personality disorder like Trump he’ll make you look like a fucking nitwit. He’s the biggest nightmare of a client you could imagine.

            • Just_Dropping_By

              The reputational damage is undoubtedly of far greater concerns than the financial one — a firm could just demand a huge retainer to start work and make it clear that they would swiftly move to terminate the representation if their bills aren’t paid promptly. (Firms don’t do that more often because they are worried about losing the client to some other outfit, but if you know the client’s choices are limited and you’re not desperate for work, then that’s not an issue.)

        • randy khan

          I’m utterly unsurprised by Ted Olson’s unwillingness to take this job – he’s gotten a lot of great press for the same-sex marriage litigation and working for Trump essentially would negate all of that. Clement not being willing to do it, though, is pretty impressive, given that he seemed willing to take any crazy case that the House Republicans would send his way.

        • eclare

          Off topic, but I had Mark Filip for Civ Pro back while he was still judging, and he was easily one of the top 5 nicest people I’d ever met.

      • efgoldman

        He still can’t find an FBI chief…

        He’s over there, hiding under the desk in the corner.

  • ChrisS

    I doubt Trump is firing anyone from the inner circle of trust(TM). There was all that chatter about Bannon being on the way out, then The Kush, but it’s just chatter from people hearing Trump verbalize whatever thought pops into his head before he’s distracted by the next shiny object that floats into his vision.

    Here’s my expectation of the next two months:
    1) A big pile of nothing from Comey.
    2) The Russia investigation to continue with a few leaks
    3) The Senate to pass legislation resembling a dog’s breakfast to replace the ACA and declare victory (51-50).
    4) Trump to continue tweeting garbage and media chasing their tail.

    • aab84

      I don’t know that (1) is a good bet. Comey’s previous testimony under similar circumstances was maybe the most dramatic Congressional testimony of the last couple decades. Dude likes the spotlight.

      • Scott Lemieux

        I don’t know that (1) is a good bet. Comey’s previous testimony under similar circumstances was maybe the most dramatic Congressional testimony of the last couple decades. Dude likes the spotlight.

        Yeah, I mean Comey managed to use emails that they didn’t even have a warrant to read and had virtually no chance of being legally incriminating as a basis to insinuate that Clinton was a crook. To think he’ll lay off the actually bad things done by guy who fired him is just reflexive cynicism, nothing more. Comey is a Republican hack, but he’s about James Comey above all else.

        • randy khan

          And unloading his righteousness on Trump is exactly what he would do to maintain his mental image of himself as the last great truth seeker.

      • eclare

        Plus he seems extremely petty. No way he lets the insult of hosing firing and Trump’s criticism go unanswered.

    • NonyNony

      1) If Trump goes through with his threat/promise to live tweet the Comey hearing, he might be able to turn that big pile of nothing into something big.

      2) I believe you said “few” when you meant “many”. This administration leaks like a sieve. Or more than a sieve. Or something.

      3) Lindsay Graham is suggesting that the Senate won’t be able to get anything ACA-replacement like out of committee before the end of the year. McConnell remains somewhat non-committal. It definitely appears to not be on their fast track.

      4) An evergreen prediction for the next 4 years, I suspect.

      • John F

        Re 3; Maybe they hope that if they back burner it long enough people will forget they have that bill sitting there…

      • ChrisS

        2) No, I think that the actual Mueller investigation will be a tight ship. There will still be a few things to dribble out, but nothing crazy, since an actual investigation is ongoing.

      • D. C. Sessions

        This administration leaks like a sieve. Or more than a sieve. Or something.

        Try, “leaks like a Jungle Gym.”

    • Aaron Morrow

      3) I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s “merely” a severe reduction in Medicaid, seeing as most of the Republican Senators from expansion states are discussing how quickly to undo the expansion, and not whether to keep it.

    • Do you expect Trump will find people willing to work for his administration? It’s getting to be a major roadblock on his agenda.

  • so-in-so

    So, no peak wingnut and no sufficient stooge.

  • Murc

    Dershowitz frustrates me.

    He’s so good on so many important issues and so shitty on so many other important ones.

    The only explanation I can think of is that Israel is a hell of a drug.

    • twbb

      I think you pretty much nailed it.

    • Q.E.Dumbass

      So, the centrist equivalent off America’s Dickhole William Maher SUPERGENIUS 1!111!!!!1!21!!1!!!!1111!1?!11!!!!

  • Joe_JP

    Jamie Gorelick. A somewhat amusing “where are they now.”

    Deputy Attorney General under Bill Clinton.

    Now, lawyer for Jared Kushner.

    • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

      Yeah, but it’s a full-time job.

  • Paul Chillman

    But he said it was not clear to him that it was a personal issue as opposed to an institutional one with the office.

    Does anyone actually believe Trump understands the difference between the two?

  • D. C. Sessions

    I think I know the perfect candidate for Trump’s next AG:

    Larry Klayman.

    Trump will love him — his briefs read like a Trump speech.

  • rea

    the president faulted his own Justice Department for its defense of his travel ban on visitors from certain predominantly Muslim countries. Mr. Trump accused Mr. Sessions’s department of devising a “politically correct” version of the ban

    Doesn’t Trump understand why he’s been losing on the travel ban? Hint: it is not due to mealy mouthed political correctness on Islam.

    • so-in-so

      “Doesn’t Trump understand ” is a question that doesn’t need to be asked about most topics.

    • NonyNony

      Doesn’t Trump understand why he’s been losing on the travel ban?

      No.

      Trump does not go in for “explanations” of why he’s losing. All that he understands is that someone is telling him “no” and the people he hired to get this to work are telling him “it won’t work you have to do something else”. And it infuriates him because they’re just supposed to say “yassir – you’re a genius sir” and then scurry off and make it all work for him.

      Trump seems to believe that the President has dictatorial powers. I don’t know why he believes that given that he lived through Nixon. And also that he isn’t dead in a mass grave somewhere after how he treated Obama. I assume it’s because he isn’t very bright.

      • rea

        I’ll tell you, though, if Trump’s object is to ensure that the travel ban never takes effect, he could not be doing a better job.

      • so-in-so

        He shares this with most GOP voters. Obama is tyrant! And I post this on my Facebook wall!

      • D. C. Sessions

        Trump seems to believe that the President has dictatorial powers. I don’t know why he believes that given that he lived through Nixon.

        You appear to be assuming that Trump was paying any attention to national news at that time. Just consider: was the news about him?

        • Thirtyish

          This too. There is no evidence that Trump pays careful attention to anything that does not immediately pertain to him in some way. He doesn’t like politics and he doesn’t do abstractions or even cause-and-effect particularly well.

      • Thirtyish

        Trump seems to believe that the President has dictatorial powers. I don’t know why he believes that given that he lived through Nixon. And also that he isn’t dead in a mass grave somewhere after how he treated Obama. I assume it’s because he isn’t very bright.

        It’s partly that he’s not very bright. I think it’s also a symptom of a larger facet of Trump’s worldview and experiences prior to his assuming the role of president, namely that he has always acted like a dictator in virtually all of his previous roles and relationships and he’s never been fully taken to task about it or had to face serious consequences for it (yet).

        • tsam

          Mix that with being utterly bound by his emotional whims

      • Murc

        Trump seems to believe that the President has dictatorial powers. I don’t know why he believes that given that he lived through Nixon. And also that he isn’t dead in a mass grave somewhere after how he treated Obama.

        It’s a mark of conservative faith that liberals are simultaneously all Mao-esque tyrants eager to start up some re-education camps, AND puling cowards who are afraid to pick fights with Real ‘Muricans.

        • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

          Conservatives don’t stop believing Seven Impossible Things even after breakfast is over.

      • efgoldman

        All that he understands is that someone is telling him “no”

        And absolutely nobody, including his parents, ever did that before in his miserable life.

        • Thirtyish

          No one’s told him no who hasn’t gone on to suffer royally for it, at any rate.

  • Surreal American

    If Sessions ever gets fired or *reigns*

    #Pleaseletthatbeatypo

    • Joe_JP

      7th in line

  • Dave W.

    The Times has now published a correction to one of the lines Scott quoted:

    Correction: June 6, 2017

    An earlier version of this article incorrectly described Alan M. Dershowitz’s comments during the 2016 election. He regularly defended the civil liberties of Donald J. Trump and Hillary Clinton. He did not regularly defend Mr. Trump.

    • Murc

      Were people trying to restrict Trump’s civil liberties? Or Clinton’s, for that matter?

      • John F

        “Lock her up”

      • postmodulator

        If HRC were a private citizen, we would see a twenty-five year witch hunt with the authority of the federal government behind it as a violation of her civil rights, actually.

        it’s why the Susan McDougal thing was always the most outrageous part of the Whitewater fiasco to me. McDougal’s version of events was, and remains, “Starr threatened to jail me for contempt if I didn’t testify the way he wanted, then did that.”

    • Hogan
  • royko

    You know that moment at the end of “A Few Good Men” where Col. Jessup bellows “You’re goddamn right I ordered the code red!” and everyone gasps in amazement that he would just admit to it in open court?

    That moment is every moment for Donald Trump.

    • John F

      His current moment is apparently blaming all terrorism in the world on Qatar.

      Of course our largest ME base is in Qatar…
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Al_Udeid_Air_Base

      Trump’s an idiot of course, but why are the Saudis and others turning on Qatar- the sponsoring terrorism claim appears to be nonsense, the being insufficiently anti-Iran is… well insufficient….

      My guess is they really really really want to stifle Al Jazeera

      • ChrisS

        I’ve been to both Camp Snoopy (former US AB at the airport) in Qatar (including Christmas dinner at the US Embassy) and Prince Sultan AB in Saudi Arabia. I much preferred Doha.

      • JohnT

        The Qatari Royal family have slightly different theology, I believe, which leads them to support the Muslim Brotherhood. That means the Egyptian government hates them. The Saudi royal hate non-Wahhabis. And given that most of the principal nations other than Egypt that are involved are absolute monarchies with Byzantine family structures, there’s probably some Game of Thrones-level interpersonal crap going on too

      • Mike G

        Saudi Arabia criticizing another country for supporting terrorism is like Boris Yeltsin calling someone a drunk. Or Trump calling someone an ignorant buffoon.

      • FSB media op.

  • Dr. Ronnie James, DO

    Is it an ironclad law at this point that no one who partners with T. rump walks away undegraded and better for the experience?

  • MacK

    Trump is demonstrating the real problem with putting lipstick on a pig – it keeps licking it off.

  • Gwen

    Didn’t Gorelick have a role in drafting or brainstorming many of the ideas that wound up in the PATRIOT Act, during the later years of the Clinton administration?

  • lahtiji

    Why not Zoidberg, er, Lieberman?

  • shawn k

    So he’s treating Sessions like a local contractor who expects to get paid for working on the restrooms at a Trump Atlantic City casino? What a shame.

  • Reason #537 that I hate this administration is that it’s forced me to become a Kremlinologist in my own damn country.

  • cpinva

    the difference is that the people in the Kremlin are actually competent.

    • efgoldman

      the difference is that the people in the Kremlin are actually competent.

      And they have a long history of keeping their mouths shut.

    • John F

      Actually, I think we’ve come to learn that the folks in the Soviet Kremlin were not nearly as competent as we thought they were at the time.

      My have educated, half uneducated take on the current Russian Regime, is they are very good tactically, but clueless in a broad strategic sense.

      • tsam

        Their goals seem….weird. A loose cannon commander in chiefing a military that can pound your guts out if they wanted to seems reckless

  • DonnaK

    Dershowitz doesn’t want to be AG. He desperately wants to be hired for someone’s defense team, preferably Trump’s. It’s embarrassingly obvious.

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