Home / Robert Farley / What Comes After Farce?

What Comes After Farce?

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Good lord.


You can’t even script this shit anymore. If you saw this in the McBain movie, you’d say to yourself “Damn; Simpson’s writing has all gone to hell.”

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  • malraux

    It does authenticate the idea that trump thought people would be happy with the firing rather than furious.

    I remain amazed at how bad at this he is.

    • humanoid.panda

      Seriously, this is probably his line of defense against the Russian story: do you really think the FSB/SVR/GRU would collude with a moron like me?

      • tsam

        Well…that’s not a terrible argument.

        • It isn’t, and I can’t see Twitler ever making it. He’s too much of a Dunning-Kruger poster child to realise how incompetent he is.

          • tsam

            Yeah, he’s long past the point where he’s so stupid that he’s managed to construct a world where he’s the smartest motherfucker–replaying Bradley Cooper’s “50 moves ahead of you” scene from Limitless in his head…

        • ASV

          You go to the ballot box with the Manchurian candidate you have, not the one you wish you had.

      • Azza

        The Russians are not colluding with Trump. They are exploiting a useful idiot. I’d guess their attitude is the stupider he is the happier they are.

        • Larrry

          Putin wanted to embarrass and destabilize America and give it its own corrupt Yeltsin. And also have the sanctions removed and the price of oil to go up. Missions accomplished.

    • Whirrlaway

      He also thinks The Dems are going to be pleased with Joltin’ Joe.

      • tsam

        Such a cunning plan! Dems’ll never know what hit ’em.

      • efgoldman

        He also thinks …

        Proof?

        Dems are going to be pleased with Joltin’ Joe.

        I don’t think he knows or gives a flying fuck.

    • petesh

      Conversely, Sen. Schumer hit the nail on the head first try. “Big Mistake.” Maybe a little experience is not a bad thing.

  • free_fries_

    WaPo just dropped story that a WH adviser now considered a Person of Interest in Russia investigation. It’s probably Kushner but how hilarious would it be if it were Ivanka?

    • humanoid.panda

      I’d go with Bannon. There were all sorts of stories about how it might have coordinated with Russian bot-makers..

      • Vance Maverick

        I definitely read that as “Barron”. Your way does make more sense.

        • ColBatGuano

          Does it though?

          • Breadbaker

            Only because Barron doesn’t live in the White House yet.

            • addicted44

              Well, Barron knows all about the Cyber. He doesn’t need to be at the White House physically.

      • Alan G Kaufman

        Yep: https://www.justsecurity.org/41199/connecting-dots-political-microtargeting-russia-investigation-cambridge-analytica/

        “Cambridge Analytica is the data mining firm hired by the Trump campaign to help it collect and use social media information to identify and persuade voters to vote (or not vote), through an activity known as political microtargeting. The company is principally owned by Robert Mercer, a hedge fund billionaire who supported Trump and was a leading investor in Breitbart. Stephen Bannon, Trump’s campaign chairman (after Manafort) and now chief strategist at the White House, was the vice president of Cambridge Analytica’s board as well as the executive chairman of Breitbart before joining Trump’s team in August.”

      • Craigo

        Bannon was reportedly against Comey’s ouster, while Jared was the biggest proponent.

        • ChrisS

          Bannon is evil, but he’s not stupid. IMO, he would know that firing Comey would open up a shitstorm. Whereas, if Comey was just doddering along with an investigation they might be able to control it somewhat.

          • Nick never Nick

            Yeah, I agree with this — remember Trump’s first week, when it seemed like he was going to get evil things done? That was when Bannon was in the saddle. The ragey flailing ever since then is probably due to Kushner, who in addition to being malevolent and above his pay grade, has probably been too sheltered and entitled for most of his life to truly understand how dangerous the various Powers of Washington can be.

            • humanoid.panda

              Yeah, I agree with this — remember Trump’s first week, when it seemed like he was going to get evil things done? That was when Bannon was in the saddle

              Eh, that’s revisionist history. Remember: the brilliant idea to have Miller, a non lawyer, write the travel ban, and then unleash it without any preparation in order to create maximum chaos was all Bannon.

              • so-in-so

                I thought they ran it by Rudy first?

              • Nick never Nick

                Not totally — given subsequent events, managing to get an Executive Order out at all counts as relative competence.

            • mongolia

              remember Trump’s first week, when it seemed like he was going to get evil things done? That was when Bannon was in the saddle.

              eh, that first week was when it was confirmed that bannon was an idiot. my concern was more that kushner had rove-type republicans whispering in his ear, but that dissipated pretty quickly, so the big concern was how much various law enforcement/security agencies would end up ramping up their activities against non-republican groups. fortunately, looks like the deep state (aka the bureaucracy) was never particularly inclined to cooperate heavily with these guys

            • ASV

              They spent the first week lying about the size of the inauguration crowd.

          • ForkyMcSpoon

            Bannon is smarter than Kushner, I’ll grant you.

            That doesn’t mean he’s smart.

            • “I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!”

              – Donald Trump
              – Jarad Kushner
              – Steve Bannon
              – Bunch of other people

          • njorl

            Also, Bannon comes from a propaganda background. He knows you can’t make things like this go away just by firing people. Kushner is from a business background, where firing a senior subordinate makes their projects die.

            ETA – Still, I think firing Comey was too stupid an idea to be anyone but Trump’s.

        • Doug Gardner

          Imagine an idea so bad that even Bannon was against it. The mind reels.

    • Alex.S

      That’s a slippery story, as “person of interest” could mean anything from a witness they want to interview to a target of the investigation.

    • keta

      I’d guess Kushner as well. From the linked NY Times piece April 6:

      When Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, sought the top-secret security clearance that would give him access to some of the nation’s most closely guarded secrets, he was required to disclose all encounters with foreign government officials over the last seven years.
      But Mr. Kushner did not mention dozens of contacts with foreign leaders or officials in recent months. They include a December meeting with the Russian ambassador, Sergey I. Kislyak, and one with the head of a Russian state-owned bank, Vnesheconombank, arranged at Mr. Kislyak’s behest.

      Given the reported animosity between Trump’s closest advisers it makes me giggle when I think about all the leaks, the dribbling of information coming out of the investigations, and the certain finger-pointing and accusations within the inner circle. It’s fucking glorious.

      • The way they phrased it sounded like it could be Tillerson as well. And it doesn’t mean they’re stopping at one…

        • free_fries_

          Possible but wouldn’t article say DoJ/State if Sessions or Tillerson?

          • Craigo

            Yeah, those two aren’t actual WH advisors. Bannon, Kushner, Priebus, Dubke, Miller, McGahn, Spicer…

          • The list of people that seemed to modify the assertion included Tillerson. I wouldn’t characterize him as White House staff, but he’s certainly senior and close to the president. (They all cling to Trump like leeches, since he believes whatever he’s been told most recently.) It’s hard to imagine that most of them aren’t caught up in it if they are looking at financial crimes and mob ties as part of the expanded Russia investigation.

            • randy khan

              If it’s one person, I really want it to be Sessions, although I’d take Kushner in a pinch. Personally, I think Tillerson is unlikely because he came to the party relatively late.

              • I like the idea of them picking off Kushner because of how close to home that would hit trump and how much that would further enrage him.

            • Manny Kant

              Tillerson is not a “senior White House advisor.” That’s a term of art. It means someone who works in the Executive Office of the President.

              • Manny Kant

                Also, Tillerson wasn’t involved with the campaign at all.

        • Dammit! I had President Tillerson in the line of succession pool. Who’s next? President Mnuchin it is then. Wait what?

          How about President Mad Dog
          https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S._Presidential_line_of_succession
          (I’m assuming Hatch is compromised because why not. Of course Pence would go first and be replaced by a new Veep so … McCain, some Gov or Lieberman)

          • Richard Gadsden

            I’m hoping for: Pence goes. Congress stonewalls on a new Veep because Trump keeps naming idiots. 2018 happens. President Pelosi.

      • free_fries_

        Right and not sure it’s confirmed or just rumored but supposedly Jared really started beating the fire Comey drum when Comey started eyeing Nicole Kushner’s using admin ties in pitch to Chinese.

      • Crusty

        Combine this with reports that kushner once told Chris Christie he thought bridge gate was badass, you have admiration for dirty tricks with a Russian twist.

      • socraticsilence

        NY Magazine reporting with 4 source confirmation that it’s the Kush.

    • West of the Cascades

      And since they don’t give a name, it means even more hilarity among the infighters and even less sleep for the jet-lagged Orange Menace.

  • humanoid.panda

    And that’s the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT STORY PUBLISHED BETWEEN 3 AND 330 THIS AFTERNOON.

    Seriously: until this day, I was convinced that the Russian stuff was
    Manafort, Flynn, Page, expendable people who Trump can say he already fired.

    But a senior official at the West Wing who was involved in the campaign and close to the president is one of two, and only two people: Kushner or Bannon.

    • nemdam

      Spoiler alert: It’s Kushner.

      I don’t know why people can’t figure this out. It’s known that he lied about his contacts with Russians on his security clearance form. That’s all the evidence you need to become a person of interest in an investigation.

      Note that Bannon could also be under investigation, but we just don’t know. Or the entire White House.

  • LeeEsq

    When the Trump administration gets put into fiction, writers are going to have to reduce the craziness because nobody would believe them.

    • I dunno. When humanity has regressed to storytelling around campfires, anything will seem plausible.

      • wjts

        Somewhere, a Classicist is reconsidering some of the more improbable bits of Lives of the Caesars.

        • My critiques of House of Cards are in tatters.

          • rea

            I’ve seen people rejecting that comparison on the grounds that FU at least has some kind of principles.

            • Incontinentia Buttocks

              Also he gets away with it a lot more than Trump and company do.

        • SatanicPanic

          This was my major and any time we were translating any work of history the prof would be careful to preface the class with a caveat that written history back then wasn’t up to modern standards so we should take things with a grain of salt. But maybe they were being too skeptical.

        • Scott P.

          Maybe Justinian really was a demon in human form who killed a trillion people.

          • Thank you so much for making this reference so I didn’t have to.

        • njorl

          Tacitus was a government hack paid to whitewash the Julio/Claudian crimes. Suetonious was fair and balanced truth teller.

      • Moondog von Superman

        I’m working on my Trump shadow puppet. (Also stockpiling bullets.)

    • ChrisS

      If this was a plot outline of Homeland two years ago I would have turned it off because it’s too fucking bonkers.

      • charon04

        I have been binge watching old seasons of Veep, it is remarkable how prescient it depicts Selina’s campaign and White House similar to Trump’s.

    • Whirrlaway

      I had a backwards look at the tick tock [?!?] of the Watergate extravaganza. You youngsters don’t remember how we sat around for _weeks_ watching Sam Erwin’s eyebrows intimidate another tiny brick out of the wall. Everything today just goes too fast to savor. Two years of gridlock seems like a very favorable result to me.

      • Ken

        I was too young to understand Watergate, and was just angry that the TV was showing the hearings instead of cartoons.

        Which will probably be Trump’s reaction.

  • On Twitter several people have noted that the NYT & WaPo stories went out after Air Force One took off.

    Being cooped up in a plane with a ragey orange is going to make for a flight that lasts 100,000 years in subjective time.

    • Nick never Nick

      This is the sort of thing I come here to read, I would never in my entire lifetime have thought of this small, horrid angle.

      • I’m thinking of Sartre’s Huis Clos with a larger cast and set on a trans-Atlantic flight.

        • Nick never Nick

          I don’t know that movie, but someone should redo My Dinner With Andre, featuring Trump and a guest who isn’t permitted to speak.

          Or that movie with the Philip Glass soundtrack featuring a plane landing, only it’s a plane with Trump on board.

          • El Guapo

            You might know it by its English title (No Exit).

            Hell is Others….or being trapped in a flying metal tube with Idiot Amin.

            • Larrry

              Your “Idiot Amin” needs to be acknowledged. I wish I’d have thought of it. You deserve better, but that’s the highest compliment I got.

        • Sly

          And where everyone totally deserves to be in Hell.

        • dmsilev

          “L’inferne c’est l’orange”.

    • Alex.S

      Well at least Trump took a small number of people to rationally discuss everything about the plane. Such as Jared Kusher’s spokesman.

      Melania Trump — first lady
      Reince Priebus — White House chief of staff
      Stephen Miller — senior policy adviser
      Jared Kushner — senior adviser, foreign policy point man and Trump’s son-in-law
      Steve Bannon — chief White House strategist
      Ivanka Trump — adviser to the President and Trump’s daughter
      H.R. McMaster — national security adviser
      Sean Spicer — White House press secretary
      Sarah Huckabee Sanders — deputy press secretary
      Michael Anton — National Security Council spokesman
      Hope Hicks — White House director of strategic communications
      Gary Cohn — National Economic Council director
      Dina Powell — deputy national security adviser
      Josh Raffel — Jared Kushner’s spokesman

      • Nick never Nick

        Presumably one of those will be blamed for the leak and flung into the Atlantic.

        “Sean Spicer? Spicer? Oh, right, Spicer. I remember him. No, I don’t think he came on this trip, I’m almost certain he didn’t. He must still be in the wate . . . in Washington somewhere.”

        • so-in-so

          Nah, Dump would brag about doing it.

          • wjts

            “I ‘ave gazzered you all ‘ere in ze Air Force One parlor, because one of you… iz ze murderar.”

            “Me!!! I am!!!”

            “Ah. Mesdames et messieurs, I apologize most sincerely for ze anticlimax.”

        • MikeJake

          I’m thinking they divert to Russia to seek asylum, we get Air Force 1 shipped back in three months packed inside a wooden horse.

          • Nick never Nick

            Plus nightly broadcasts from Trump in Moscow, issuing decrees and threats and trying to get the Senate to pass his health care bill.

          • Daglock

            Not Russia, asylum in a country that allows polygamy.

            • so-in-so

              He IS going to Saudi Arabia. He doesn’t drink, so that’s one hitch down. The took Idi Amin…

              • JonH

                And divorce is very simple.

            • Where the age of consent is 12.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        ah, reminds me of the list of second-raters who came to Gatsby’s parties, only less so

      • If that plane went down, would there be anybody left to mourn any of them? And would that leave KellyAnne in charge?

        • bender

          McMaster would be mourned.

          • farin

            Only if it crashes soon. Truman’s going to have him reduced to a husk soon enough.

      • njorl

        Hope Hicks — White House director of strategic communications

        That seems like light work. Who is the director of unstrategic communications? They’re really gettin’ it done!

      • Ken

        And all because none of them want to leave Trump alone with any of the others…

        • bender

          Heh.

      • Reading this list I flashed on The Canterbury Tales. I wonder what stories they will tell. I could spend on hour matching the names to the pilgrims, but unfortunately my default emotion lately has been … fuck it…

    • wjts

      I imagine that the scene after landing is going to resemble that one part of that one science fiction movie. You know, where the mysterious ship is in the docking bay, dramatically lit from underneath with powerful floodlights, they can’t raise anybody inside on the radio, and the team of investigators is gathered outside the entry hatch in their space suits. Then the hatch opens with a dramatic hiss of escaping steam, and they step inside the pitch-black craft. The only sound is the echoes of their footsteps as they make their way through the deserted vehicle, their flashlights playing across empty seats and the occasional incongruous artifact: a single shoe, a broken tablet, a severed arm. Then there’s an inhuman screech from behind them, and they turn around to see an orange, almost human shape charging towards them along the ceiling.

      • John Revolta

        I’m thinking of the part in Wag the Dog when they’re stuck in the plane with Woody Harrelson’s insane prisoner guy and not enough tranquilizers

    • keta

      Deep State had two parachutes prepared for the junket aboard Air Force One.

      “Who are the two new parachutes for?” asked one of the secret service members detailed to Trump.

      “One is for president Trump, one is for his golf clubs,” replied Deep State. “You are going to suit him up and then push him out of Air Force One at these GPS coordinates over Saudi Arabia.”

      “Why, that’s monstrous!” replied the secret service member.

      “Not at all,” replied Deep Sate. “We stuck an extra sand wedge in his golf bag.”

      • N__B

        “We stuck an extra sand wedge in his golf bag.”

        Golf clubs are not sandwiches.

    • janitor_of_lunacy

      “Are we there yet?”

  • And the sad thing is that this tragicomedy is beyond most Trump supporters. They really just don’t get it.

    And there’s no fucking reaching them, either. Doing so is a complete waste of time. Our energy is better spent fighting to protect the voting rights of those we can reach, and getting them to the polls.

    • eclare

      They probably don’t even know about this. Is the right wing media reporting on any of this?

      • cleek

        Drudge has a tiny little line that says “WASH POST: Probe Reaches CURRENT White House Official…”

        and another that says “NYT: Trump Told Russians Firing ‘Nut Job’ Comey Eased Investigation Pressure…”

        • John F

          Drudge’s big headline is:
          DONALD OF ARABIA!
          15,600-MILE DIPLOMACY TOUR

      • Fox is talking about Anthony Weiner. No, I’m not joking.

      • sigaba

        Im tracking AmCon posts, all the pro-Trumpers are 100% Deep State Leaker Conspiracy all the time. It’s all lies, even the ones the White House confirms, because the Trump is too inexperienced and “still learning the ropes” to deny them.

    • patrick II

      PBS interviewed some Trump voters in a waffle shop in Virginia Beach the other day.

      “Give him a chance.”
      “The media isn’t being fair.”
      “There is no evidence.”
      (what about James Comey?)
      He’s a Democrat

      So, even when there seems to be plain evidence, it can’t be trusted because it comes from “the media” or if the evidence comes from someone else they are assigned the “democrat” label and therefore untrustworthy and lying.

  • Alex.S

    But why? Why talk to random Russians about firing the FBI director?

    Oh hey, in the article they found someone to defend this!

    A third government official briefed on the meeting defended the president, saying Mr. Trump was using a negotiating tactic when he told Mr. Lavrov about the “pressure” he was under. The idea, the official suggested, was to create a sense of obligation with Russian officials and to coax concessions out of Mr. Lavrov — on Syria, Ukraine and other issues — by saying that Russian meddling in last year’s election had created enormous political problems for Mr. Trump.

    I AM NOW MORE CONFUSED!

    • CS Clark

      It makes perfect sense that he’s trying to do with his moral bankruptcy what he did with all his financial bankruptcies.

    • keta

      The Art of the Surreal.

    • rewenzo

      “Negotiating tactic” makes no sense. Why would you:

      (1) tell the other side they put you in a difficult position
      (2) tell them you got out of the difficult position easily
      (3) ask them for concessions because of all the trouble they put you through?

      • CD

        It makes my head hurt too. Which is why none of us are billionaires.

        • JR in WV

          Speak for yourself. There are completely different reasons I’m not a billionaire. Different, you hear me?!?

          And my head feels just fine. It’s other parts that hurt, like all the joints, all of ’em.

      • patrick II

        Because the Russians are such nice guys.

    • Nick056

      “I was taking heat because you interfered in the election on my behalf, and I had to fire the FBI director to try to quash the intelligence investigation into your givernment’s conduct. Cost me some capital. Can you work with me on Ukraine?”

      That would — does! — read like a defense of telling Russia that the pressure’s off with the Comey firing, so they should be ready to play ball on regional policy. It’s confirming the conspiracy. It’s not evidence of collusion — it IS collusion.

  • CaptainBringdown

    This little tidbit is telling:

    The White House document that contained Mr. Trump’s comments was based on notes taken from inside the Oval Office and has been circulated as the official account of the meeting. One official read quotations to The Times, and a second official confirmed the broad outlines of the discussion.

    The daggers are coming out.

    • Aaron Morrow
    • tsam

      Beware the Ides of June, Caesar.

    • njorl

      When you insist on hiring people willing betray all principles out of personal loyalty to you, they will betray you because they have no fucking principles.

      • Daglock

        Profound aphorism.

  • HenryW

    BTW, while we’re talking about nut jobs, here’s some details about Curtis Ellis, whom Trump may nominate to the Department of Labor’s Bureau of International Labor Affairs (he already serves on it unofficially, since it does not require Senate confirmation). He makes Bannon and Miller look like Noam Chomsky:

    In a World Net Daily column, Ellis sounded as far off the reality path as Alex Jones and Mike Flynn arguing that Obama and Clinton literally want to kill white working people, “If you believe, as do the leftists, that America has more than it deserves and Americans are racists, the global redistribution of our wealth and the death (literally) of white working people is a desired outcome, a feature not a bug.”

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/05/15/trump-finalist-dol-job-curtis-ellis-par-mike-flynn-steve-bannon.html

    He has also claimed that claimed that job training is “re-education” and leads to “extermination”, “‘Retraining’? More like re-education & extermination.”

    • Little Chak

      Good lord, that’s out there.

      Alex Jones, your 45th President of the United States, everybody.

      • Alex Jones should be the FBI nominee. If you’re going to drive off a cliff, might as well step on the gas.

        • liberalrob

          I’m thinking he’s saving Jones for Spicer’s replacement (since he’s a media guy) or Haley’s replacement at the U.N. (so he can rant at the entire world at once).

    • sigaba

      Charles Guiteau was unavailable for the job.

  • Nick never Nick

    So, does Trump return to the United States from this trip abroad to face the music? Or is this flight his silent departure from America, on which he decamps and sets up a revanchist shadow-government somewhere in Eurasia? Will America experience a century of anti-presidents, ensconced somewhere in a Croatian stronghold, issuing decrees that the corporate tax rate has been cut to 3% and guns must be worn while showering?

    • wjts

      Ye Donaldites by name, give an ear, give an ear,
      Ye Donaldites by name, give an ear,
      Ye Donaldites by name,
      Your fautes I will proclaim,
      Your doctrines I maun blame, you shall hear, you shall hear
      Your doctrines I maun blame, you shall hear.

    • Is there any room to spare in the London Embassy?

      • liberalrob

        I hear there may be a room available at the Ecuadorian embassy in London soon…

  • Todd

    FFS. At least George III probably had a blood disease.

  • randy khan

    One other fascinating detail: Nobody in the White House is bothering to deny the story. Too many people have seen the transcript, I guess.

    • Nick never Nick

      I think they’ve given up on denials, since Trump normally sells them out about a day later — right now most people charged with speaking to the public or justifying anything are probably in the same kind of state lab rats go into when you give them choices of levers to press but then shock them randomly anyway.

      • John F

        that was glorious

    • howard

      in all honesty, when i first saw the headline, my very first assumption was that this is so unbelievable that maybe it was a trump-ian planted story to find the leaker gone horribly wrong, but then they didn’t deny it!

      i was just talking to my 86-year-old mother, who had been running errands and just came in, and she said “i know you say i should stay calm and watch turner classic movies but the news is better than the best soap opera right now.”

      and i said “so you had your back turned for an hour, so you probably don’t even know” and proceeded to tell her.

      i mean, i knew the guy had no self-control, but this is beyond no self-control, this is complete breakdown territory.

      • Kurzleg

        I linked to it below, but it seems appropriate here. Johnny Depp’s Trump is looking more and more realistic as events unfold.

    • Craigo

      Well, apparently the entire court followed the emperor overseas. I’m not sure there’s anyone left but the guy at the front desk.

      • keta

        Veep Mike Pence was Left Behind.

        • Craigo

          Yeah, I assumed he was the guy at the front desk.

        • guthrie

          Aren’t there rules about who can go where and when, so separate planes, President out of country so VP has to stay in country etc?

        • Ahenobarbus

          Veep Mike Pence was Left Behind.

          I see what you did there.

  • ChrisS

    Who is running the country now? Pence? LOL.

    Trump will come back to find the locks on the Whitehouse are changed.

    • Dennis Orphen

      I should have changed that stupid lock

      I should have made you leave your key

      If I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me

  • Kurzleg

    I loved Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Donald Trump, but it never occurred to me that it might just be generally accurate. Recent events certainly are reinforcing such a reading.

  • nemdam

    Democrats should really stop talking about Russia. I mean, what if they never find any collusion?

    Anyone still staying this shouldn’t be taken seriously on this issue.

    • Brien Jackson

      McCarthyism I tells yinz!!!!!

      • Charley McCarthyism

        • Dennis Orphen

          We should all paint faux ventriloquist dummy lines from the corners of our mouths down to the bottom of our chins to identify ourselves as members of the resistance. If you think that’s a waste of good liquid eyeliner then use a pencil.

    • Davis X. Machina

      Deep State! Invisible impeachment!

  • Nick never Nick

    Well, the Trump presidency has run through to its predictable end and Trump has decamped for simpler shores, trailing nervous aides and crumpled briefing notes. As the Trump-One takes off from Ronald Reagan International Airport and turns out over the dark Atlantic, let us give one final thought to the splenic reality star who shot through American politics like an orange-hued extinction-sized asteroid and won our hearts with his simple down-home rants against foreigners, Muslims, liberals, women, blacks, Europeans, the disabled, veterans, war heroes, and Mexicans. Now all we will have to remember him by are his multiple bankrupt properties and a sense of vague shame hanging over the country, rather akin to the aftermath of a bachelor party in which everyone pretends to take things rather too far, and does. Farewell, Trump! And who knows, perhaps we shall meet again, in the Trump-Berdimuhamedow tower of Ashgabat or a Uralic golf course. Until that day, let us hoist a flute of antifreeze and toast the cruel, demented skinflint who so embodies our hopes and dreams and sweaty night terrors.

    Adieu, oh ye who we came to know too well.

    • so-in-so

      Lovely (if only…).

    • tsam

      This is fucking brilliant

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        indeed

    • Daglock

      Donny, we wish we hardly knew ye?

    • njorl

      I read it in the voice of Walter Cronkite, or rather, Dave Thomas portraying Walter Cronkite.

  • Simple Mind

    Is Toby Keith on that plane with Trump? He’ll be performing for the Saudis tomorrow (Whiskey Girl, Beer for Horses, what could go wrong?)

    • ForkyMcSpoon

      I assume Muslims are allowed to serve their horses alcohol.

      Seems like it should be fine.

      Just change Whiskey Girl to Vimto Girl.

  • Joe_JP

    “crazy, a real nut job”

    Trump is looking in the mirror again.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      it is scary how often “every accusation is a confession” works with trump. Not foolproof, but close

  • Brien Jackson

    Speaking of farce, just gonna leave this here:

    https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/865562626201460736

    • tsam

      LOLWUT?

      • Brien Jackson

        I’m considering looking up the betting line that Mueller’s investigation uncovers dirt on Greenwald.

        • sibusisodan

          I think there is a certain group of people who don’t need to be compromised to work to benefit Russia. They just need to be manoeuvred such that they convince themselves they’re doing what is right and true.

          Greenwald because his perspicacity and righteousness are so part of his self-image. He’s not going to get taken in by the Man, man.

          Trump because anything he decides to do is automatically the best thing ever and totally his own decision.

          What’s the point of compromising such people?

          • Speaking of which, what’s the deal with this guy?

            Dennis Kucinich Joins Sean Hannity in Blasting ‘Deep State’ Attack on Trump

            http://www.mediaite.com/tv/dennis-kucinich-joins-sean-hannity-in-blasting-deep-state-attack-on-trump/

            • Craigo

              Nothing new for him. Kucinich, like Greenwald, Assange, etc. is just following the rich tradition of far-left affection for authoritarianism. He’s also supported Ahmedinejad, Chavez, and Assad.

            • mongolia

              wasn’t he an anti-vaxxer and 9/11-troofer during the latter part of his time in congress? some people are just conspiracists, including on the erstwhile “left” side of spectrum – best to correct them, vote ’em out, then let them be crazy outside of the movement

        • nemdam

          I dunno. If you believe this, Vox might write an article calling you a conspiracy theorist.

          To deny the possibility that Greenwald is on the Kremlin payroll is to deny that Trump might be colluding with Russia.

    • Nick never Nick

      Now, why’d you have to go and do that

    • Craigo

      That aged poorly.

    • addicted44

      I haven’t read down that thread, but it could be read as not an indictment, but rather, just an observation of the crazy situation the Repubs have put the US in with Trump.

      • ForkyMcSpoon

        But we know from Greenwald’s other writing that he thinks it’s “redbaiting” to suggest that the right-wing authoritarian kleptocratic capitalist regime in Russia is supporting far right movements in other countries.

        Russia is eternally the (true) left’s friend, their assassinations of Russian leftists notwithstanding.

    • Captain Haddock

      And a Twitter exchange that is just so, so Greenwald:

      W – That’s St. Basil’s Cathedral taking over the White House, not the Kremlin.

      GG – Yes, that’s totally what Time meant to convey. That St. Basil’s Cathedral has taken over the White House.

      W – Oh I think Time messed up. But reality is that it is St Basil’s Cathedral, not the Kremlin.

      GG – I KNOW THAT.

      W – Awesome – no need to get tetchy. Sorry for the inconvenience caused by interacting with your tweet.

  • Joe_JP

    Maybe, Sasse and Schumer can share some of their weed.

  • Nick never Nick

    Man, the Pulitzer committee is going to have a tough job on its hands this year.

  • LosGatosCA
    • Simple Mind

      Oh you Gatos tan guapos. Mike and the Mechanics were my solace during the Reagan years. Thanks for the reminder.

  • farin

    The answer to the headline, alas, is “more tragedy.”

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