Home / General / “Let’s take a look at the political fallout.”

“Let’s take a look at the political fallout.”

/
/
/
1481 Views

cnnjeffreylordpost827-image

This is one of the rare satirical pieces that lives up to its promise:

Winners

  • Congressional Republicans: Widespread destruction aside, this was a kumbaya moment for a caucus that has had its share of family spats of late. For the first time since coming together to narrowly pass the American Health Care Act in May, Speaker Paul Ryan wonkily persuaded the House GOP’s version of the Hatfields and McCoys — the principled hardliners of the Freedom Caucus on one hand, and the reasonable moderates of the Tuesday Group on the other — to set their bickering aside just long enough to squeak through a resolution in support of President Trump’s plan, tweeted out at 3:29 a.m. on Thursday morning, to “FRANCE IS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE. Sick country that won’t solve its own problems. Maybe nucluar?” Concerns that a more deliberative Senate would splash cold water on a rare show of Republican unity proved unfounded when Senator Susan Collins (R-ME), the human fulcrum perched stoically at the precise center of American politics, revealed in a nationally televised special that she would vote to authorize nuclear war to balance out the fact that she had recently broken ranks with her party on an agriculture appropriations bill.
  • CNN: As every news producer knows, nothing makes for better theater than war — and nothing makes for better CNN than theater. Right up until the moment when the first blast’s electromagnetic pulse wiped out all of the technology on the eastern seaboard, the cable giant was in fine form, drawing record viewership to a number of its weekday staples. The roiling debate over whether or not to abruptly drop hydrogen bombs on traditional allies proved to be compelling fodder; one particularly juicy squabble between contributors Jeffrey Lord and Lanny Davis will likely go down in history as the second-to-last thing to go viral. Time will tell whether Ari Fleischer’s observation that a nuclear conflict “could be the victory that Donald Trump needs to right the ship of this administration” holds true, but one thing’s for certain
    — this moment was CNN at it was meant to be: a grand arena where intellectual titans come to match wits and battle it out over issues with no clear answer.

[…]

Losers

  • Decorum: One of the lasting images of western civilization will surely be that of Democratic lawmakers shouting “what the h*ll are you doing?!” at their colleagues from across the aisle during the decisive vote that emboldened President Trump to make good on his nuclear promises. Though it may be considered old-fashioned by some, plenty of Americans still cringe at crude language, and this latest episode is another sad reflection of the coarsening of our public life. The well of the House of Representatives is no place for curse words, no matter how frustrated you are by a vote that went the other way — but try telling that to the handful of irate Dems who, seemingly unaware that C-SPAN was there to capture every moment, hurled expletive after expletive at pragmatic adults-in-the-room Darrell Issa (R-CA), Justin Amash (R-MI), and Elise Stefanik (R-NY) as they cast the votes that clinched a much-needed victory for Speaker Ryan. Here’s hoping that crass behavior on both sides soon gets eradicated along with all carbon-based life forms.

There should have been a Cillizza/EMAILS! joke in the CNN section, but otherwise perfect.

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Linkedin
This div height required for enabling the sticky sidebar
Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views : Ad Clicks : Ad Views :