Home / General / Tenure

Tenure

Comments
/
/
/
151 Views

PAAAAAKPHIEEIDHL

Yesterday, my employer made the terrible decision to grant me tenure. Finally, I can speak about politics on the internet. I can also now buy all the pleated khakis Freddie wants me to buy to fulfill his fantasy image of me. Sadly, I can’t link to the pleated khakis claim (evidently, I was already a horrid mean tenured faculty member who wears pleated khakis because I dismisses his nonsense or something) because he has cleaned his blog of all LGM references. Makes sense, as he had to clear space to cosplay as Charles Murray. But since we all know Freddie is reading and desperate for attention, your fantasy is complete. Enjoy the evening.

Anyway, tenure.

FacebookTwitterGoogle+Share
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • Linkedin
  • Pinterest
  • mkadel

    You devoted your tenure announcement to Freddie DeBoer.

    • Warren Terra

      More like “dedicated”.

      • Freddie went out of his way–not so much as one might have hoped, but he at least turned the car a bit on the straightaway–to make it clear how people around the U.S. (and the world) respect Mr. Loomis’s erudition, skills, and writing.

        So now he gets to spend the rest of his career in Providence, the one in Rhode Island…

        • URI does, I guess, have a satellite campus in Providence, but I’m fairly sure Loomis haunts the main, South County campus.

        • helkamet

          And I suppose he gets to eat lamb, too. ..c’mon there is always a greek restaurant nearby.

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        where is Casey Kasem when he’s needed?

    • Gwen

      Fact is that we are nothing without our Freddie.

      • The White Blogging Class depends on Freddie products to survive.

        • (((max)))

          ‘We are aware of all milk traditions.’

          max
          [‘We need some hand-milked artisinal raw elk milk to celebrate.’]

    • Oh, I am always one to take a gratuitous shot at someone.

      • Pat

        Congratulations! I hope to follow in your footsteps. Sorta.

      • prognostication

        The Michael Jordan of using celebratory moments to take gratuitous shots at people who have slighted you in the past.

        …oh, wait.

  • Fortunado

    Honestly I just assumed you had it already. Congratulations!!!

  • Ramon A. Clef

    Congratulations!

  • DAS

    As a Jew and a (tenured) biochemist, I have to wish you a hearty MALDI-ToF!

    • Eli Rabett

      URI doesn’t pay that well

  • Denverite

    We’re gonna need more pikes.

    • ColBatGuano

      It’s a target rich environment these days.

    • Julia Grey

      Sticks. More sticks.

  • porwin

    Congratulations Erik! well deserved I’m sure. finally you can tell us what you really think, which must be a relief after years of concealing your opinion.

    A parable that a fellow tenured friend of mine posted on his door (stolen from NeuroDojo cuz i couldn’t remember it)
    Adult sea squirts (also known as tunicates or ascidians) are sessile animals. As adults, they really don’t move. But if anyone has heard about sea squirts, they’ve probably hear that little sea squirts start life as smart little tadpoles, searching this way and that for a place to land. Once they’ve found the place where they’ll spend the rest of their lives, they go through a metamorphosis into the immobile adult.

    But as they have no further need of their brain, they eat it.

    The punchline is, “It’s rather like getting tenure.”

    Put some ketchup on it

  • Tehanu

    Congratulations! My late dad was a schoolteacher and I’ll never forget the grin on his face the day he got tenure. Always good to see one of the good guys get some recognition and — hopefully — security.

  • Anna in PDX

    1000 congratulations, as we say in Egypt!

    • Vance Maverick

      Make it 1001!

  • (((max)))

    Actually now would be a good time to go to class and scream, ‘I’m the goddamn Batman!’

    ‘Professor BATMAN to you!’

    max
    [‘Congrats.’]

  • dcoffin

    Congratulations on tenure. It’s a useful thing to have. And it might become increasingly useful…

  • Congratulations!

  • catbirdman

    Happy for you!

  • Murietta

    Congratulations! This outcome is not a surprise, but universities fuck up all the time so I’m very glad to hear this. I always thought you were very brave to write the way you do on the internet while trying to get tenure; it’s admirable. Mazel tov.

  • MAJeff

    Congratulations! Enjoy due process!

    I got it last year, but never received a notification letter. It wasn’t confirmed until they did some non-tenure stuff to me in the fall and I had to actually ask if I had, indeed, been granted tenure.

    Now, just waiting on the promotion letter.

  • liberalrob

    Echoing the sentiments. Congratulations. Well deserved.

  • Uh, Erik – you just used the opportunity of one of the biggest turning points in your life as an excuse to turn to the blog that you’ve spent years working on and write… about me. That’s pretty strange, in general, and more to the point: who, do you think, would an impartial observer say was obsessed with who?

    By the way, I didn’t “cleanse” my blog, it was hacked and I had to switch hosts and everything. And of course, the post you linked to is an argument against the race-IQ pseudoscience of Charles Murray. But you’re trusting that your readers here won’t actually bother to read it, which is a fair assumption, because your readers are not very smart.

    • How’s life promoting the neoliberalization of higher education?

    • Pat

      We are, in fact, objectively despicable.

      Get it right, Freddie!

    • muddy

      I am in the hospital after having both knees replaced. And you have given me the biggest pain I’ve had all day.

      So fuck you Freddie, grow up and then go find a sense of humor and don’t come back until you have it all in place because you need both here.

      I logged in for the first time since surgery to say Congratulations to Erik, but let me add one more thought:

      FUCK YOU FREDDIE.

    • Hogan

      It took you 18 hours to get around to this? Standards are slipping everywhere.

    • Julia Grey

      Freddie, he wanted to do something special for you on this special day, to allow you to celebrate with him.

      In other words, he called you to witness.

      And you did. In your classic, inimitable fashion.

      Duh.

  • Congratulations!

  • geniecoefficient

    [clap emoji][clap emoji][clap emoji][clap emoji][clap emoji][clap emoji][clap emoji] (repeat until satisfactorily simulate nice round of applause)

  • Congratulations!

    Out of curiosity, just how secure is tenure these days? Presumably you can still be fired for extremely unprofessional or criminal conduct. What about redundancy, if evil administrators decide the whole politics department is surplus to Donor Gradgrind’s requirements? Or the secret police close the entire university for un-American activities?

    The head of my old Oxford college can be dismissed only for “gross and persistent immmorality”. It’s an undergraduate pleasure to speculate on behaviour that would trigger this today. Goats in the quad, repeatedly, perhaps. An even more secure job – actually honorific sinecure – is Chancellor of the University. Harold Macmillan, an occupant of the office, liked to point out that he could not be removed from it for any reason whatsoever.

  • Origami Isopod

    Congratulations!

  • Rich Beckman

    Congratulations, Professor Loomis!

  • Congratulations!

  • hylen

    This is good news for conservatives everyone!

It is main inner container footer text