There Was Nothing In the Republican Health Care Vault/But It Wasn’t Paul Ryan’s Fault
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I wouldn’t have thought this was possible, but the repeal-and-¯\_(ツ)_/¯ farce being run by Earnest Bold Truth-Telling Policy Wonk Paul Ryan somehow got even more farcical:
A few months ago, in what feels like a very distant alternate reality, Donald Trump promised Congress would repeal and replace Obamacare “very quickly.” Now, evidently, someone has written a replacement bill. It is being kept in a secret location and nobody can seem to find it or read it, which sounds exactly like how the legislative process is supposed to work.
Bloomberg Politics reported Wednesday that a draft of the proposed bill would be kept in a dedicated “reading room,” but would only be made available to the members and staffers on the House Energy and Commerce Committee, where it is going to be introduced. That’s because a draft of the bill leaked last week and other Republicans complained about it. The most important part of lawmaking is ensuring that nobody gets their feelings hurt!
Lover of liberty and tallest Keebler elf Rand Paul found the situation ridiculous, and launched a scavenger hunt Thursday morning to find and read the secret bill. He even brought a copy machine, because Rand is as committed to theatrics as he is to that hairstyle, apparently.
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As of this afternoon, no one has successfully found or read this stupid bill.
It’s worth clicking through — the visuals Merlan assembled make the whole thing even funnier, or as funny as a secret plan to take health insurance from millions of people and make insurance much worse for tens of millions of people can be. Say this for Paul Ryan: it ain’t easy to make Rand Paul look like much less of a buffoon in comparison, but he did it.
This is the perfect way for the Heritage Uncertainty Principle to culminate.