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We Need Open Borders In Order to Cleanse This Nation of the Eating Habits of Old White Men

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We’ve known this for awhile, but once again, Donald Trump eats his steaks well-done with ketchup.

“The President ordered a well-done steak. An aged New York strip. He ate it with catsup as he always does. The sides and appetizers on the table were shared. Three jumbo shrimp cocktails were delivered before the meal. At one point, the President looked at his watch and remarked ”They are filming ‘Saturday Night Live’ right now. Can’t wait to see what they are gonna do to me this week.“ It was hard to serve him because he is so funny and relaxed, it makes you laugh.”

Do we call this Putin-style steak?

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  • I’ll bet he eats pastrami with mayonnaise. The schtickdreck.

    • Q.E.Dumbass

      He probably only eats pizza that uses American cheese, which is objectively the triangulating neoliberalism of dairy products.

    • Judas Peckerwood

      So what’s the consensus on A-1 sauce? Asking for a friend.

      • Aubergine

        Vegetarian here, so I can’t speak to A-1 as a steak sauce. But it does have an indisputable tang to it, a kind of a “dirty” tang as opposed to the “clean” tang of the vinegar it’s mostly made of. It might be fun to try when you need something like that in a dish. For instance, bean or lentil soups often like a little vinegar after you take them off the heat. The acid puts a little spark in the flavor. A-1 might work well there.

        • bender

          A-1 has anchovies in it.

          • Ramon A. Clef

            It does. I discovered that my supermarket’s brand steak sauce, which is to my taste buds indistinguishable from A-1, is vegetarian.

        • leftwingfox

          It’s my understanding that the tang in brown sauce comes from tamarind.

      • leftwingfox

        I like it, but I also really don’t care much about what’s good, right correct of proper food. :P

        One of my favourite pot-roast recipes uses olives, onion, garlic, raisins, tomato juice, balsamic vinegar and cumin in the braising liquid, which gets blended into a brown sauce that’s pretty similar to HP/A-1 sauce.

      • TroubleMaker13

        It’s basically Worcestershire sauce mixed with ketchup.

      • wjts

        HP Brown Sauce is preferable to A-1, but both are pretty good on burgers, breakfast sandwiches, or lower-quality meat. Toad-in-the-hole absolutely requires HP Brown Sauce, though.

    • Warren Terra

      As long as we’re recommending condiments: for hamburgers, a mixture of ketchup, a good garlic sauce (I recommend Seattle institution Karam’s, available by mail order), and a hot sauce you like (I recommend Louisiana Brand as a cheaper alternative to Cholula).

    • los

      When the GOP eventually gets around to investigating, I expect that the trump tower Ketchupghazi Leaks will prove that Trump puts nothing on his ketchup.

  • Derelict

    “It’s hard to serve him . . .”

    I wonder who was saying this? And I wonder if Trump tips?

    Based on everything I’ve read about Trump, I would not be surprised to learn that he orders the most expensive stuff a la carte at Mar-A-Lago, then stiff his tablemates for the bill. (“Just because I own this place and invited you to sit with me doesn’t mean you get to eat for free. Although, I eat for free because you’re paying.”)

    • In the story, it was noted he put a $100 bill in the hand of a waiter.

      • Ahenobarbus

        …and then he pulled it away and said “not for you!”

        • tsam

          “ohhhh you almost had it–ya gotta be quicker…”

          • los

            Trump can’t handle even a fishing pole. That’s the real scandal.

      • and then asked for it back after the reporter left.

        • los

          “Consider that severance pay, if you don’t drop the whole bill into the kitchen kitty (which I always raid).”

      • Crusty

        Did it have his own face on it?

        • Dennis Orphen

          It had Palmer Eldrich’s face.

          • los

            Scrooge McDuck’s face is on the 2mil bill.

      • Murc

        That honestly doesn’t surprise me. A lot of shitstains are big tippers. Sinatra tipped amazingly well and he was a dumpster fire of a human being.

      • Warren Terra

        The subtext being that the story was packaged entirely for public consumption, with the working press excluded and a gossipmongering DC blogger who’d been booted from the more respectable side of the profession for plagiarism tipped off hours in advance so he could get a table next to the President’s (which, let’s just say, might be a “leak” the Secret Service really should investigate), and this blogger then witnessed and even photographed in action the (supposed) $100 tip – a tip to one staffer, after a party of at least six dined in a restaurant where the terribly prepared steak is $60.

        Trump was also reported to have picked up the tab of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, who apparently also got a tip-off and spent his Saturday night dining with his wife at the Trump Hotel steakhouse, separately from Trump, in an action replete with problems – was he there to boost the hotel’s reputation as the place to see important characters from Trumpworld, as if he was Mickey Mouse at Disneyland? Was he there so Trump would see him being a loyal courtier? It seem unlikely it was where Tillerson would have chosen to dine without some such calculation involved.

        • That picture of Trump “sneakily” giving the $100 bill was too much. It was like watching someone’s dad buying weed for the first time.

          • rea

            “Which waiter is the one that deals?”

        • randy khan

          Yeah, this read pretty much like a “we need some good press, let’s get a stupid blogger to write it for us” kind of event.

          As for Tillerson, I assume the choice partly was to curry favor, but if you’re a steakhouse kind of guy, and don’t have moral objections to putting money in Trump’s pocket (even highly indirectly, since the restaurant actually is owned by somebody else), then it’s a perfectly reasonable choice. There are literally hundreds of better restaurants in D.C. – one practically across the street – but very few of them are steakhouses.

          • Warren Terra

            It’s not so much about the food; I assume that if you don’t specially request shoe leather then the Trump Hotel Steakhouse can perfectly competently prepare a decent steak, maybe even a good one.

            But: the atmosphere! The account makes it clear that the hotel and the dining room was full of slavering Trumpard starfnckers, plus at least one large boisterous party of overdressed twentysomethings who cheered loudly when a waiter rolled out a case of pricey champagne and opened a bottle using a sword. Who but a fool or an anthropologist would choose such a place to dine in, when they have the money to go anyplace in the city and the prestige to get in?

            • randy khan

              My expectation is that you can get a perfectly fine steak there – the other outlets in that mini-chain all are fine from what I know.

              I’m not sure who else would be at that hotel and restaurant these days other than Trumpists. All the people I know would rather go somewhere that just failed its health inspection for the 10th time in a row.

              For contrast, the Obamas generally favored some of the city’s best restaurants, including Fiola Mare, Rose’s Luxury and Blue Duck Tavern. The last two on that list were among the restaurants that were awarded Michelin stars this fall, and Fiola Mare is a sister restaurant to another star awardee.

        • Cheap Wino

          This (#5 from your previous post) is the interesting point for me. He’s good with promotion (and does it in the sleazy way he does everything). My bet is that as governing becomes more complicated he’ll retreat more and more into this kind of thing. At what point, if any, will the presidency-as-grift become too obvious for all but the 27% to ignore?

          • los

            At what point, if any, will the presidency-as-grift become too obvious for all but the 27% to ignore?

            GOPe collaborators aren’t ignoring the mutual grift.

        • delazeur

          Trump was also reported to have picked up the tab of Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, who apparently also got a tip-off and spent his Saturday night dining with his wife at the Trump Hotel steakhouse, separately from Trump, in an action replete with problems – was he there to boost the hotel’s reputation as the place to see important characters from Trumpworld, as if he was Mickey Mouse at Disneyland? Was he there so Trump would see him being a loyal courtier? It seem unlikely it was where Tillerson would have chosen to dine without some such calculation involved.

          This is the really disturbing part. Farage, Tillerson, and this beltway gossip blogger all knew where to hang out for the evening in order get some face time with power. All very Versailles-esque. The ten-minute standing ovations are next, right?

          • Warren Terra

            The ten-minute standing ovations are next

            The people who infest the lobby of the Trump Hotel cheered loudly when Trump appeared. It’s probably one of the few places in the area where Trump could just show up and get a warm reception without first specially arranging a friendly crowd; anyone not well disposed to him wouldn’t be in the Trump Hotel in the first place.

        • Karen24

          If Trump picked up the tab for the entire table, then that $100 was probably exactly 15%, since $100 per person is typical at that kind of Manhattan restaurant, so the bill would have been $600. Therefore, he’s a chintzy tipper.

          • Warren Terra

            The $100 tip was handed over after dinner to the chief usher or something, it’s not necessarily part of the bill for the dinner service.

            Of course, (1) we don’t know if Trump paid for dinner; he has in the past been in the habit of expecting his dining bills at Trump restaurants will be comped; and (2) the major domo (or whatever) made sure possibly dozens of extra man-hours were spent arranging things for Trump’s visit.

          • randy khan

            $100 per at this place probably is an underestimate. Appetizers are $16-$21 (but shrimp cocktail is $24, and other raw bar items are similarly pricey), steaks are $52-$64, and sides with the mains are $12-$16. This is before drinks and dessert.

        • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

          Dear God, if only we had someone with Mickey’s qualities instead of Trump.

          Think of it- voting for Mickey is no longer protest, it’s a statement of preference.

      • Murc

        Wrong place because wordpress is the devil.

      • Hells Littlest Angel

        “Here ya go, kid. I got a guy inna Treasury makes ’em special for me.”

  • howard

    when i read this yesterday, i said how is it that erik hasn’t posted about this yet?

  • Do we call this Putin-style steak?

    How about we call it disgusting.

    • Colin Day

      Wouldn’t Putin-style steak have more polonium?

  • aab84

    The absolute dumbest part of this is the Michael Traceys of the world saying that it’s elitist to criticize Trump for ordering a well-done steak with ketchup. As if working class people (1) literally never eat steak; and (2) always order theirs burnt to a crisp because they’re rubes. Apparently “flavor” is now exclusively a rich person thing.

    • D.N. Nation

      My old man grew up poor in Lowcountry South Carolina, and he and the rest of his family still knew how to cook with class for adult palates.

      • humanoid.panda

        Correct me if I’m wrong, but Real America (TM) is known for its many delicious BBQ sauces. The Poliburo’s declaration that those things are now elitist, and possibly homosexual, pursuits, is a major surprise, but anything to Make America Great AGain.

    • McAllen
    • The absolute dumbest part of this is the Michael Traceys of the world saying that it’s elitist to criticize Trump for ordering a well-done steak with ketchup.

      No, I think it’s pretty much a normal human reaction. If I saw someone eating steak with ketchup, I’d be like dude, what the fuck.

      • D.N. Nation

        Bet you a dollar that Tracey is one of those self-diagnosed “supertasters” who only eats fries.

        • los

          dipped into mint jello

    • Karen24

      There are lots of jokes in movies from the 1940’s about the crime boss’s gunsels ordering steaks and requesting that they still be able to complain a little. Also many jokes in WWII movies where POW’s fantasize about rare steaks when they get released.

      • Hogan

        You might want to explore the etymology of “gunsel.” I think you’ll be surprised!

        • Ramon A. Clef

          Thank you. One of my pet peeves in crime fiction is the use of “gunsel” to mean “gunman.”

          • Becker

            A word is not exclusively defined by its earliest, most remote and obscure, definition. Meanings can fall out of use and be replaced by others.

      • bender

        Le mot juste = “moll”.

    • JMP

      How could any criticism of a man who was born into wealth and before becoming President never worked a day in his life possibly be elitist?

      • jim, some guy in iowa

        can we be sure he’s worked a day *since* becoming President?

    • ThresherK (KadeKo)

      Yep.

      As reflected in mainstream culture we’ve had year of food porn shows on basic cable showing folks eating Take That, Vegan Pansy levels of meat done up right.

      The idea that people like Adam Richman, Guy Fieri, Alton Brown and such are “elites” because they get steak and no ketchup is failure on its face.

    • Harkov311

      I suppose Michael Tracey would also defend the one guy I know who refuses to try anything approaching a decent beer in favor of the same Natty Lite he drank in college.

      At some point, it ceases to be an indication of down-to-earth-ness and just becomes a stubborn refusal to try the food in question as it was intended to be eaten.

  • brad

    “I want a beautiful piece of meat, but I don’t want to be able to taste it.”

    There’s literally nothing this man can get right.

    • Sells Trump steaks, but eats burned steaks with ketchup.

      Sells Trump vodka, but is a teetotaler.

      It’s going to turn out that despite Trump water, he only drinks RC Cola or something, isn’t it?

      I’m amazed by how deeply and fundamentally fraudulent he is. It reminds me of HST on Nixon:

      He was a swine of a man and a jabbering dupe of a president. Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning. Even his funeral was illegal. He was queer in the deepest way. His body should have been burned in a trash bin.

      • Dennis Orphen

        Royal Clown Cola.

      • rea

        It reminds me of HST on Nixon

        Truman indeed was known for his colorful language.

  • sigaba

    I don’t understand the belief that Saturday Night Live is “taped.” Was he on the west coast when this happened? Was he eating at 11:30 at night?

    • Hogan

      Per the timeline, he left the Trump hotel (in DC) at 10:15 pm, so he may not realize that “Live” isn’t just part of the show’s title.

      • brad

        They do a dry run before taping time, in part to record any bits where, as with Dana Carvey playing Bush and Perot in a debate, something has to be pre-recorded but have proper timing with the live feed later.

    • The concept of time zones is rather complex for some people.

      • Humpty-Dumpty

        Every call he makes to a world leader starts with, “Hey, did I get you up? What time is it there?”

    • delazeur

      Even better: there was no SNL episode this weekend.

      • los

        the first victim of the dictatorship

        /s

  • Warren Terra

    Lighthearted criticism of his culinary tastes aside, Trump dining in the public dining room of the Trump hotel is in all seriousness a Very Bad Thing, for a whole bunch of reasons. I mentioned several of them in a long comment to a different thread yesterday, that I won’t repeat here.

    The summary is: it reeks of corruption, and the President is holding court as if at Versailles while people pay to jockey for his notice and favor.

    • The summary is: it reeks of corruption, and the President is holding court as if at Versailles while people pay to jockey for his notice and favor.

      If it smells like it and looks like it…

      • los

        if it walks like ketchup, and quacks like catsup… it must be a platypuss

    • erick

      Yeah and as far as outright corruption by Trump it is both

      1) worse than anything a Democrat could do and cause the scandal of the century and lead to ongoing special prosecutors

      2) probably not even in the top 100 corrupt things Trump is doing

      Proving for the umpteenth time that conservative voters are shameless hypocrites at best when they aren’t out right evil and should be treated as such.

      And any religious right commentator who voted for Trump and ever says that personal morality of a candidate matters again needs to be considered a joke who should be permanently blacklisted by every booker, let FOX have them.

    • Morbo

      He is trying to make Mar-a-Lago the Winter White House after all.

    • gyrfalcon

      Eh, I would say that to consider Mar-A-Lago a modern Versailles is to give Trump too much credit, because if there’s one thing the man is not it’s a freakin’ Sun King. Versailles revolved around the fact that Louis XIV already had massive autocratic power over the French state – able to set by dictate everything from tax policy to military and civil administration to even religious governance. The French nobility all paid through the nose for access to power because the only other game in town was to pay even more to foster unrest and rebellion in an attempt to force Louis to delegate authority to achieve domestic peace.

      Unless Trump somehow manages to claim something like the direct authority that Louis XIV had (and that ain’t going to happen; it’d require Congress, the courts and the civil service all to cede huge amounts of their own powers and protections, in return for basically bupkis), Mar-A-Lago is not going to be a modern Versailles. It’ll just be an embarrassing grift run on those people clueless enough to think it somehow is a modern Versailles, and consider this a good thing.

      • Warren Terra

        I don’t claim to be an expert on Versailles, nor that the analogy is perfect. But there is a powerful set of ideas about what Versailles was, that I would argue is relevant: people seeking the Sun King’s notice and favor, and courtiers and officials seeking to retain his notice and favor, jockeyed and intrigued to be seen at Versailles. They did this at considerable personal expense, conspiring with the King’s aides to be seen in the right time, place, and manner.

        This isn’t the only characterization you could make of what’s going on at the Trump-branded properties Trump drops in on; there are also simple celebrity-obsessives who treat them like Trump theme parks. But: tell me the lobbyists and employers-of-lobbyists paying two hundred grand to eat inedible food at Mar a Lago aren’t seeking access and currying favor. Explain to me why Rex Tillerson was dining at the Trump Hotel Steakhouse Saturday night, surrounded by idiot Trump worshippers and crass juvenile partiers, if not to ingratiate himself with the boss.

        • rea

          The Versailles analogy would be perfect if he required all Republican governors to live at Mar a Lago and dance attendance on him, rather than administer their own states.

    • Pete

      Yep.

  • mnuba

    At one point, the President looked at his watch and remarked ”They are filming ‘Saturday Night Live’ right now. Can’t wait to see what they are gonna do to me this week.“ It was hard to serve him because he is so funny and relaxed, it makes you laugh.”

    Trump does so often come across as funny, relaxed, and self-deprecating, doesn’t he? I see no reason at all to think this account is complete and utter bullshit. Nope! None whatsoever.

    • John F

      Trump does so often come across as funny, relaxed, and self-deprecating, doesn’t he?

      Actually, years ago when he was actually on SNL, he did oddly enough…

      • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

        He’s almost as much of a TV actor as Reagan was.

    • Pete

      He definitely used to be able to do that. It was part of his “regular guy” act — not unlike his appearances on Howard Stern. Believe me, he had to be able to at least pretend to laugh at himself on those shows.

  • SatanicPanic

    What on earth is that bacon tower thing?

    • Warren Terra

      It looks like a few strips of bacon fried to a crisp and then affixed to a framework. I don’t understand why anyone would want it with dinner (maybe at breakfast, without the “tower” bit), and I assume it’s ludicrously overpriced.

      • Hogan

        “Clothesline” Candied Bacon
        maple and black pepper, pickles
        $16

    • David Allan Poe

      It’s a hacky-looking version of the famous (well, famous in the high-end culinary world) bacon dish at the Chicago restaurant Alinea.

      • The Great God Pan

        The chef at Trump’s hotel is clearly a culinary dadaist committed to the principle that haute cuisine can have no meaning in a world that allows Trump to exist. The clothesline bacon is his urinal in an art gallery or moustache on the Mona Lisa.

        • los

          deminimalist Plate Presentation (look maw; no plate), inspired by britches drying between tenements and The Last of the Mohicans storyboards.

      • cpinva

        what the fuck is that supposed to be, exactly? it looks like it could be some high school student’s physics-based science fair project, with a slice of bacon attached, so he/she doesn’t starve to death during the judging. or not.

        • David Allan Poe

          Dehydrated bacon, butterscotch, apple leather noodles, and a little fried sweet potato lollipop with a cinnamon stick handle.

          It’s one course out of, like, 27. One of Alinea’s signatures is unusual presentation with a lot of custom designed serviceware. They have a famous dessert that is “plated” directly on the entire table.

      • los

        People say Donald Trump’s palate is the best. Snobby Hillary totally missed the giant frosted Tic Tac.

        /trumptweets

  • I like the final note in the article where they find Nigel Farage stumbling around drunk talking about what a great bloke Trump is.

    • Asteroid_Strike_Brexit

      Nige seems to like a drink. There was an interview he did with the FT where he sank a ton of booze. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. It’s a real, crying shame he didn’t become British ambassador because there was ‘no vacancy’.

      • cpinva

        he apparently likes more than “a” drink.

  • witlesschum

    I had heard he at least used A1, ie, catsup with pretensions.

    If coneys a la the avatar picture isn’t available, best hot dog is onions, horseradish and dill relish.

    But I’m also a sometime ketchup eater, so what do I know?

  • DonN

    It really seems hard to believe. A well-done New York strip – with catsup! That is like a cartoon of a caricature. I’m going to have to go with using the catsup on the jumbo shrimp.
    DN

  • furikawari

    It’s not Abby Normal. He’s just Putin on the Ritz.

  • Murc

    You know, I’m a defender of well-done meat (it’s a different but equally cromulent flavor profile) but… ketchup? Really? There are a ton of perfectly decent barbeque sauces, marinades, crusts, etc. that you would look to to complement that meat before you go to ketchup.

    That makes no sense to me unless you don’t actually like steak but feel like you should be eating it anyway because it is steak. So you drown it in ketchup to cover up the taste. This is what I did when I was a child and served meat I hated; I’d find a condiment I could use to cover the taste up.

    • Derelict

      For some people, steak (or french fries or fried fish or whatever) is merely a conveyance for ketchup.

      • For my paternal grandmother’s last husband (of 5; all but her first, my paternal grandfather, predeceased her), cottage cheese was a conveyance for ketchup. I can’t speak to the “merely”; in fact I can hardly speak at all, just now, what with trying hard not to gag.

    • togolosh

      I’ll go further: My ancestors did not invent fire so I could eat half-cooked food. If your well done steak is dry, fire the chef. Or set fire to the chef, your call. Chewing bloody meat is for hyenas. I can’t comment on the ketchup thing as I’ve never tried it (have any of the people shitting all over his choices tried it? I bet not).

      And if you want a cromulent flavor profile of a different sort, try simmering it in worcesterchire sauce. It makes for a chewy steak, but you have teeth for a reason, so enjoy chewing.

      • Warren Terra

        Your ancestors did not “invent fire”. I’m sure your ancestors were great, but this is like saying Isaac Newton “invented gravity”, as if before then we were all floating in mid-air.

        • N__B

          Maybe we were. It would help explain the half-assed adaptation of the human spine to vertical orientation.

          • Hogan

            And don’t get me started on sinuses.

            • N__B

              IKR? Sinuses are like potato chips: eat one, you’ve got to eat them all.

    • cpinva

      “(it’s a different but equally cromulent flavor profile)”

      no, no it isn’t. unless, of course, by “flavor profile”, you mean dry, bland and lifeless. anyone who has their meat cooked this way should, by federal/state/local laws not be allowed to have a decent cut of beef, just hamburger. anyone caught serving them a decent cut of beef shall be banned from ever cooking again. and this will be stamped on their passport, to avoid them creating an international incident.

      • los

        You PUMAs won’t stop arguing!!
        Haven’t you learned that t’Rump steak tastes far worst!

  • Mike in DC

    Ketchup on steak is indefensible, BUT…there are many misconceptions and biases about steak cooked medium well or well done.
    1. Properly cooked, a medium well or well done steak is NOT dry. It is possible to cook a juicy well-done steak.
    2. A well done steak also does not necessarily have to be tough.
    3. It’s possible to seal in the flavor for a well-done steak without cooking it out of the meat.

    Food for thought. I can eat medium or medium rare, anything rarer makes me gag. Rarer meat doesn’t taste more flavorful to me or richer in texture.
    The best cuts of meat need almost no seasoning or condiments. But for good but not great cuts, a good rub or marinade can do wonders.

    • sigaba

      I am surprised he isn’t one of those beef tartare militants. Maybe it’s part of his germophobia.

      • ericblair

        In Belgium they call steak tatare “americaine”. I never figured out why, because it’s one of the few things most of us Yanks won’t eat at home because of fear of contamination. European beef seems to be a bit more reliable.

        Don’t ask Tatars about steak tatare, either, because they’ll tell you they cook their meat, thanks.

        • Snuff curry

          Everyone’s favorite Nick Cave of American dudechefs, Bourdain, put ketchup in his “tartare” at Les Halles.

          • rea

            Bourdain put ketchup in his “tartare” at Les Halles

            He wasn’t eating it, though–he was preparing it.

    • Linnaeus

      I’m not a rare/medium-rare person myself. I usually go with medium.

    • smott999

      Didn’t Trump’s butler say it was so well-done it “rocked” on the plate?
      Dunno how juicy that could be!….

  • randy khan

    Once you order the steak well done, you might as well put ketchup on it.

    • cpinva

      “Once you order the steak well done, you might as well put ketchup on it.”

      you might as well throw it in the trash. and no, don’t try foisting it on some unsuspecting homeless/poor person either, they did nothing to you to deserve that.

  • Sentient AI from the Future

    Okay, time for some game theory.

    1. Claims to be a “germaphobe”
    2. Likes steaks well done

    Is Trump immunosuppressed? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

  • kped

    you just know they write “Catsup” to try to give it a hint of sophistication. Only rubes call it ketchup!

    But dude…you cook your steak until it’s dry leather, and then smother it in Heinz. I can tolerate a lot, but that’s just awful. Give me a medium rare steak, maybe a little charred on the outside (does add flavor, just make sure that middle is medium rare!). No ketchup, no A1. Just cook it with salt and pepper, and I’m so damn happy.

    • erick

      Isn’t ketchup like Kleenex where ketchup is Heinz branded name so other brands are Catsup? And we know who makes money off Heinz.

      • delazeur
        • kped

          The wiki shows this disgusting looking “mushroom ketchup” as the first type…apparently there were lots of different types, but it’s pretty much settled on tomato ketchup now.

      • kped

        No, ketchup is a generic name, it’s a thing that existed long before Heniz, and most other brands use that.

        • erick

          Ah, so I learned somethgin today, my day is complete.

          So now the question is why Catsup sometimes?

          • Just_Dropping_By

            According to this, “ketchup” was originally the dominant spelling in Britain, while “catsup” was the dominant spelling in the US, with the US shifting toward the British spelling (probably in part due to Heinz being an early leader in switching to “ketchup”): http://www.diffen.com/difference/Catsup_vs_Ketchup

          • tsam

            Apparently just a different spelling of what is supposed to be the same word. One of the two is likely the correct one if you’re looking for the fancy stuff–I remember the little packets having “catsup” on them years ago…

          • UserGoogol

            Ketchup is a distant relative of a Chinese/Malaysian sauce and as the corresponding anglization of the name took two paths.

          • David Allan Poe

            In one of my elementary schools, a child was selected every day to stand up in front of the morning assembly and read the day’s lunch menu to the entire school. One fine kindergarten day, I received this great honor, and proceeded to read the card they had given me. Featured on the lunch menu that day was “catsup” (it was the 80s, this may have been the vegetable), which I went ahead and pronounced just like it was spelled. I actually remember a moment of thinking, “I wonder which way I should say this,” and deciding to just go with what was written on the card.

            Big mistake. The entire student body, K-5, burst out laughing at the pompous little shit who said “catsup” for “ketchup,” and despite my protests that that was what was on the card, for the next several days random kids would point me out and say “Look, it’s the Catsup Kid!” and fall all over themselves giggling, until the next bit of elementary school gossip took over and I was spared.

            I don’t understand people who think words aren’t important.

            • Thom

              No doubt that “honor” was a trap designed to humiliate kids.

            • cpinva

              no, it was the fault of the pompous, adult shit who wrote it down. I’ve seen it both ways and, in fairness, have always felt that “catsup” was an affectation, for what’s basically vinegar/tomatoes/salt&pepper. throw in some dark brown sugar & molasses, and you have your rudimentary BBQ sauce.

              • rea

                Makes your meal look like the cat’s dinner; hence the preference for “ketchup”.

  • Doug Gardner

    I am sorry to say I followed the link and read much of that “article”, trying to convince myself that no one is so credulous and hungry for a “brush with derp-ness” to subject himself to this event. In the end, I concluded that Benny Johnson is simply a star-fucker, at least metaphorically. Also, too, the Bacon Tower appears to be strips of bacon hanging from clothespins – WTF?

    • delazeur

      Also, too, the Bacon Tower appears to be strips of bacon hanging from clothespins – WTF?

      Yeah, I don’t know why anyone would share that picture in any other context than “I ordered a ‘Bacon Tower’ and this is what I was served. What a rip-off!”

      • randy khan

        In fairness, it’s not called a Bacon Tower on the menu – it’s described more accurately as a Bacon Clothesline or something similar.

        • It declares “Trump is. Trump was. Trump is past.” Then it falls down and shatters (the bacon having, of course, been cooked until brittle), so we never find out how we get past the first sentence.

          • cpinva

            I actually prefer my bacon crisp (not charred, crisp. there is a difference), so I don’t feel like I’m drowning in grease.

  • RonC

    As much as I hate Trump, I am forced to remind you all that Ulysses S. Grant ate his steaks well done. I am not in information about ketchup, however.

    • Completely different situation before widespread refrigeration.

      • D.N. Nation

        Plus, as underrated as a President and an American as he was, Grant drank too much. (I’m going with the James McPherson description here, not Dunning School.) Unconditional Surrender’s food and drink takes aren’t necessarily ones to duplicate.

        • Harkov311

          Also a cigar chainsmoker. What did him in, eventually.

    • Colin Day

      I’ve read that Grant was something of an animal lover who couldn’t stand to see pink in his meat.

      • Q.E.Dumbass

        He was also apparently a severe hemophobe.

  • herewegoagain

    You talk about Trump so much here the ads are showing “Trump National Doral in Miami.”

    • los

      Brilliant contrivance, though psychologically expensive.

  • Sly

    He eat’s dry-aged steak well-done and with ketchup. You might as well just eat a fifty dollar bill directly.

    • leftwingfox

      Which is kind of the point. This kind of feels like he orders steaks because they’re the rich manly thing to order, despite not actually liking them that much. If they served a $80 meatloaf, he’d probably go for that instead.

      • ForkyMcSpoon

        Relatedly, I think meatloaf with ketchup is also gross.

        For some reason ketchup on a burger is fine though.

        • I don’t want ketchup at the table for meatloaf, but it makes a good glaze.

    • Pete

      Exactly.

    • los

      Sly says:

      He eat’s dry-aged steak well-done and with ketchup. You might as well just eat a fifty dollar bill directly.

      $50?? Why is a little packet of vegetable so expensive now? What is it made from? Soylent Gold?
      no… I’m guessing that big government school lunches are hoarding all of America’s ketchup.

  • leftwingfox

    We grew up serving Soy Sauce on our steaks. No idea where that quirk came from.

    • erick

      for a cheaper alternative for everyday meals I’ll get london broil, slice into about a half inch think strips and marinate in Soy sauce overnight and then grill them.

    • Just_Dropping_By

      I’ve marinated steaks in soy sauce plenty of times. I can’t begin to see why one would want to apply it directly given how low soy sauce’s viscosity is. You might as well just sprinkle salt on the meat directly, because I don’t think you’d get much else in the way of flavor under those circumstances.

      • leftwingfox

        Honestly, I think that was it; just Dad’s way of adding a lightly flavoured non-iodized salt to his steak.

    • I will say that “steak” is different from “a steak” in this regard. In my opinion, cheap steak is best marinaded, cooked to at least medium, and eaten thinly sliced with a sauce — carne asada, teriyaki steak, etc. Cheap steak cooked medium rare like a steakhouse steak tends to be mushy and gristly.

      The unpleasant thing here is that Trump is eating an expensive dry-aged steakhouse steak in a way that completely negates its particular charms. Only rich assholes have the luxury to do that.

      • leftwingfox

        Oh, absolutely.

        (In the case above though, this was Dad’s favoured table topping for grilled med-rare T-bone steaks or strip-loins. Growing up in Alberta meant relatively inexpensive quality steaks. )

      • cpinva

        “Only rich assholes have the luxury to do that.”

        in his case, I suspect he’s a rich asshole that was never taught any better.

  • JMP

    I don’t get that sign. What else would you put on a hot dog but ketchup? Some people actually put mustard on them, even though that is one of the most gross things made by man and is completely inedible, the only reason that it is not the grossest condiment of all is the existence of mayonnaise, which is basically semen.

    • erick

      I hope this is snark.

      Good mustard, not generic yellow, is great and compliments a hot dog well, Ketchup is basically just a whole lot of sugar hidden in tomato and vinegar to hide the taste of whatever you’re eating.

      • tsam

        Ketchup is basically just a whole lot of sugar hidden in tomato and vinegar to hide the taste of whatever you’re eating.

        Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.

      • JMP

        Not snark; mustard is completely disgusting, there is no such thing as good mustard.

        • Sentient AI from the Future

          I can’t emphasize strongly enough how wrong this is. You have clearly never had a proper corned beef or pastrami sandwich and for that I pity you.

          • los

            a little mustard can serve as the distintive flavor in otherwise plain “oil and vinegar” salad dressing.

      • ForkyMcSpoon

        Generic yellow works pretty well on a hotdog.

        Brown is generally better though. And definitely is preferred for most uses of mustard.

    • Q.E.Dumbass

      I actually despise hot dogs, so I don’t care one way or another about the right hot-dog condiment. I will confidently say that while you’re wrong about mustard being gross — at least those that aren’t honey mustard — mayonnaise is both our worst condiment and the foodstuff of choice for white toxic waste (h/t Chris Rock).

    • It must be really sad to be your mouth.

    • John F

      I know I shouldn’t feed the Troll but….

      1. Mustard is for Hot Dogs
      2. Ketchup is for Hamburgers (and Fries)

      Now the ideal hot dog is Nathans, with mustard and India Relish.

      The ideal hamburger is:
      A. With ketchup and a few pickle slices; or
      B. With bacon, cheese (cheddar or pepper jack) a few pickle slices and Ketchup; or
      C. With mozzarella and sauteed mushrooms.

      :-)

      • Q.E.Dumbass

        This isn’t a troll, but it is a hot take.

      • erick

        Hot dog: brown mustard and chopped onions

        Burger: ketchup, bacon, cheddar, pickle and onion, lettuce is acceptable but just a waste of empty calories.

        • Hogan

          Hot dog: brown mustard and chopped onions

          Nailed it.

        • Shredded iceberg lettuce mixed with the onions is good. Adds some moisture and crunch.

          • cpinva

            chopped tomatoes, with or in lieu of ketchup, adds moisture and crunch. best dog I’ve had was from a street vendor, in front of the Shedd Aquarium: Nathan’s All Beef dog, special bun, brown mustard/chunky dill relish/chopped onions/chopped tomatoes. a beer would have been nice to go with it. it was $2.50, and worth every penny.

      • los

        3. and semen is the Manna for Queens

  • smott999

    I’m OK w a dash of A1. But if it’s a good quality cut, I’m fine w just Med-rare, bit of salt and pepper! You should be able to taste the thing!

    Garlic mash and roasted asparagus on the side!

    • ThresherK (KadeKo)

      Me too, depending on things.

      However, the geek in me must point out that A1 is advertised with pictures of steak to give people that aspiration. The percentage of A1 that goes on hamburgers is well over 50%.

      (This is from AdWeek,or WSJ Marketplace page, in the print era. No cite, sorry, so I’m not putting out a distinct nubmer.)

  • ForkyMcSpoon

    This might be the most insidious fiction that Infowars has ever propagated. pic.twitter.com/Zt8DohCGxv— Liam Donovan (@LPDonovan) February 27, 2017

    Trump’s awfulness is spreading to his followers. He is actively destroying all that is good.

    • cpinva

      “Trump’s awfulness is spreading to his followers. He is actively destroying all that is good.”

      those douchebags have always been like this, they just now feel safe in outing themselves.

  • thispaceforsale

    I asked him, “How’s it feel to already be the greatest living president?” He looked at me and said, “I could be accomplishing so much more if the democrats only chose to work with me.”
    Then he pointed one of his giant fingers upwards, “where we go from here is a choice I leave to you.” and took off flying into the sky.

    Meanwhile, one table over a woman was happily agreeing to a marriage proposal from her boyfriend. “I knew dining at a Trump branded establishment would be lifechanging, now all my tomorrow’s have finally come true!”

    My waiter informed me it was a rare evening when a couple wasn’t getting engaged, a bas mitzvah wasn’t being celebrated or an angel wasn’t getting his wings there.

  • Linnaeus

    With the exception of coneys, I put ketchup on hot dogs.

    There. I said it.

    • I like ketchup on a crappy hotdog and don’t mind it on a slightly better one. With mustard. But I prefer cream cheese and hot peppers.

    • rea

      It came as a shock to my young pedantic self to learn that coney dogs weren’t actually made with rabbits.

  • Dilan Esper

    I must be the only person in America who doesn’t give a crap what the President eats and thinks that people who judge other people’s culinary tastes (other than on some actual ethical ground) are assholes.

    I bet many people in this very thread eat something or other that other people would mock.

    • Hogan

      I bet many people in this very thread eat something or other that other people would mock.

      Well yeah. And as it happens, we’ve been mocking each other. It’s a funny old world.

      • N__B

        Spoken like a man who’d put onions on a hot dog.

    • los

      very thread eat something or other that other people would mock.

      I bite heads off of cockroaches.
      but I never inhale.

    • Aaron Morrow

      I think your defenses of racism and sexism are barbaric, but your “drawing the line” at culinary tastes makes you the scumbag.

      Anyway, I ordered rainbow jimmies as a kid when I wanted sprinkles on ice cream, because who wants extra taste when you can just add sugar?

  • GeorgeBurnsWasRight

    I dunno if it’s aging dulling my tastes, or just failing memory, but to me steak tastes fairly bland these days, and if I want something that tastes like I remember steak tasting, I get buffalo.

    • mojrim

      That’s not your tongue failing, beef is losing flavor due to breeding.

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