NOVEMBER SURPRISE!
By 
The crowd roared at the mention of the New England Patriots quarterback — but there’s more! Trump revealed that while sitting on his plane today, his aides handed him a letter from the team’s coach, Bill Belichick. Trump said he asked if he could read the letter at his rally, and Belichick asked to reword it. Trump expected the coach to tone down his praise, but instead, “It was much better, it was stronger.” He read the revised letter in its entirety:
Congratulations on a tremendous campaign. You have dealt with an unbelievable slanted and negative media, and have come out beautifully – beautifully. You’ve proved to be the ultimate competitor and fighter. Your leadership is amazing. I have always had tremendous respect for you, but the toughness and perseverance you have displayed over the past year is remarkable. Hopefully tomorrow’s election results will give the opportunity to make America great again. Best wishes for great results tomorrow.
Bill Belichick
When I heard about this letter, I was torn. One the one hand, I would have assumed that Belichick was a Republican (although Pierce says he isn’t.) But it didn’t seem very plausible to me that Belichick would endorse Trump in language identical to a Donald Trump ramble (as one of the sportswriters Hartmann quotes put it, “Your campaign is big-league. Pocahontas is a mess. Ted Cruz’s dad killed JFK. This letter is definitely written by me, Bill Belichick.”) But apparently it’s real, and it is TREMENDOUS. If it was indeed the result of a second edit, that’s even more awesome. (Even if the actual drafting was done by an assistant deputy assistant to the dean of quality control Belichick was particularly pissed off at, the fact that he sent it out under his name is good enough.)
Anyway, this Sunday night America faces a stark choice. It must root for the Seahwaks, a noble franchise that would never benefit from Keystone Kops-level officiating in a Monday Night Football game and whose coach would certainly never express crackpot political views.