Yesterday, the racist corn dog currently angling for the White House dropped by a black church in Flint, where he cracked wise about Mexican water and got his knuckles rapped by the female pastor for being such an unbearably self-absorbed tool. This morning, nimble-witted as George Constanza, Trump finally came up with his best jerk store comeback and simply made up a bunch of shit that didn’t happen. (NPR, observing the Trump Rule, merely noted that he “misstated” the facts, which is more or less like claiming that someone “mispronounced” a word that does not actually exist.)
In any event, his appearance on Fox News this morning was revelatory. Aside from describing Rev. Faith Green Timmons as “nervous” when she plainly was not, Trump hinted strongly that wherever he goes, he is apparently joined by a crew of imaginary black people who cheer him on. Via TPM:
“It doesn’t bother me. I’ll tell you what really made me feel good, the audience was saying, ‘Let him speak, let him speak.’ The audience was so great and these are mostly African-American people, phenomenal people and they want to see change.”
Of course, video of the gathering disproves everything about Trump’s version of events. Indeed, NPR notes that several audience members, far from being hungry for Trump’s word, began questioning him about his treatment of black tenants during the 1970s. Regardless, we need to take very seriously the possibility that Trump has been accompanied throughout the campaign by invisible friends who just happen to be phenomenal African-American people with terrible jobs and nothing to lose, chuckling about his fucked up tweets, reminiscing about that time he went lynch mob on some kids, and shaking their heads over the goofballs at Stormfront who love him so. No wonder he’s going to earn 95 percent of their vote.