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This is very well-turned:

I don’t dislike this new Ghostbusters movie because they’re all women, that’s silly and ridiculous. I can’t believe that’s even a question, with my history. I mean, my mom and sisters are all women and I know them, so how could I dislike other women that are not them? It doesn’t make any sense and, frankly, it’s below the belt. I mean, how dare you?

I hate the new Ghostbusters movie because my number one issue when judging a film is and has always been Hollywood finance reform. And frankly, I’m tired of all big blockbuster movies. The movie system is corrupt and I think we need to put our foot down, right now specifically in 2016, to put a stop to this new Ghostbusters movie as a signal that we’re done with all big hollywood blockbusters. And if you don’t agree with me, well, maybe you need to stop buying movie tickets with your vagina.


And the people I know, we all mostly agree, it’s either Hold That Ghost or NOTHING. We think the movie theaters should shut down if they’re not going to play Hold That Ghost. Yeah, we know some people get food and go to the bathroom at movie theaters, but if they’re going to play the new female Ghostbusters, that’s just as bad as showing Faces of Death 7 in our opinions! And those two things are so similar and interchangeable that I won’t bother showing or telling you why. That’s not good enough? Here’s a picture of a Bridesmaids DVD and a Faces of Death 7 VHS standing next to each other on the SAME SHELF.

This new movie Ghostbusters reminds me of the movie Ghost from the ‘90s and now that we’re not in the ‘90s I’ve decided I don’t like the movie Ghost. I’m going to say that Ghostbusters is the same as Ghost and hold Ghostbusters responsible for the things I don’t like about Ghost.


Now, if Elizabeth Warren and Jill Stein and Michelle Obama make a new Ghostbusters in a hypothetical four or eight years from now, I could get behind that idea. That vague notion that wouldn’t hold up under any scrutiny for a variety of reasons is CLEARLY a better option than this new Ghostbusters movie made by competent people that’s seemingly ready to be shown any minute now.

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  • What the hell?

    • calling all toasters


  • weirdnoise

    I was scratching my head over the end of the second (quoted) paragraph, but then the model/subtext for the post sneaked up on me. Rarely has long-form sarcasm been so well served.

  • pianomover

    This is about what exactly?

  • John Revolta

    It’s about ethics in cinematic journalism.

    • Breadbaker


  • Pseudonym

    I see what they did there.

  • This new movie Ghostbusters reminds me of the movie Ghost from the ‘90s and now that we’re not in the ‘90s I’ve decided I don’t like the movie Ghost. I’m going to say that Ghostbusters is the same as Ghost and hold Ghostbusters responsible for the things I don’t like about Ghost.

    Thus my tendency to always refer to the movies collectively as “The Ghosts”. I will never forgive the Ghosts for their warmongering against the gods of Mesopotamia, personally.

    (As an aside, I am skeptical about this Ghostbusters remake, but I was skeptical about Aykroyd’s long-teased Ghostbusters 3, as well. Remakes and late sequels have a very poor track record.)

    • How old is this person? No one I know liked Ghost.

      • royko

        I liked Always a lot more, but I’m probably the only one — I remember watching it in a near-empty theater.

        • Ahuitzotl

          You and me both. Say, were you the guy in row #14 ?

      • Origami Isopod

        A lot of people liked Ghost. I wasn’t one of them, but trust me, they existed.

        • Warren Terra

          Yeah, this. You don’t have to be insanely old, just to have been aware when the movie came out (a teenager, say) and to have seen that it was a major hit, with a LOT of references to it in the broader culture, especially parodies of the potter’s wheel scene or of Whoopi Goldberg’s already over-the-top medium.

          • There’s a freaking musical based on it. People go see it.

      • Snuff curry

        It birthed one decent meme and image macro each (I’ve no idea what the correct use of the Sexy Spooning Pottery macro would be, but Whoopi warning girls that they’re in trouble has many applications, I should think), plus I liked seeing a sweaty, panicking Tony Goldwyn being eaten by wraiths for his sins. It also made cornier a corny little tune that will forever more be associated with terribly unfunny parodies of said pottery scene.

        On the flipside, I feel that if you’re looking for a film in which dead people possess the ability to make puppets out of living people to pursue their own ends* (kissing Demi Moore, avenging one’s death, et al), All of Me has that covered.


        • I see “you in danger, girl” all the time.

        • Hogan

          I’m down with any movie that ends with a dance sequence, and doubly so if Steve Martin is dancing.

        • Halloween Jack

          I really liked Vincent Schiavelli’s turn as the somewhat nuts ghost who teaches Patrick Swayze psychokinesis.

      • Hogan

        It won the Oscar for best picture. Quod Esper, Dilan.

        (Sorry, Dilan. Once I go the QED thing in my head I couldn’t pass it up.)

        • Dilan Esper

          I don’t know what to say….

    • Warren Terra

      Also, late-career Aykroyd is no guarantee of quality.

      • Dennis Orphen

        Nothing But Trouble: Akroyd’s shadow line.

        • Warren Terra

          Quoth the AV club:

          Nothing But Trouble consequently serves as an unfortunate turning point in Aykroyd’s career. As the film’s director, screenwriter and star Aykroyd has only himself to blame for the film’s spectacular failure.

          • kg

            But Digital Underground!!!!!

            • joelcr

              Debuting their roadie, Tupac Shakur, no less.

            • burritoboy

              All around the world the same song!

          • Halloween Jack

            Aykroyd wrote both The Blues Brothers and Ghostbusters (which he originally wrote as another vehicle for himself and John Belushi, before Belushi’s death), but the scripts were considered unfilmable in their original form until their directors did some heavy work on them. Nothing but Trouble is basically what happens when Aykroyd doesn’t have that filter.

  • rm


  • LeeEsq

    One very good thing about the new Ghost Busters movie is that Hollywood didn’t feel a need to fan service up the uniforms. Our Lady Ghostbusters where very work man like practical uniforms.

    • wjts

      “Based on the track records of the owners and chefs involved, odds are good that this new restaurant will be somewhere between mediocre and poor. But on the bright side, they’ve chosen a very tasteful design for the tablecloths.”

  • LeeEsq

    The great thing about this article is that it simultaneously makes fun of the people up in arms about the Lady Ghostbusters but also manages to get a real decent criticism in the current Hollywood business model in the same time. Both arguments are correct.

    • jamesepowell

      There are people up in arms about the new Ghostbusters?

      • Gabriel Ratchet
      • Snuff curry

        See here, too.

      • LeeEsq

        Your new to fandom, aren’t you?

      • ajay

        At least it’ll be better than that gender-switched remake of Casablanca with Pamela Anderson in the Bogart role.


        • Just_Dropping_By

          Was that what Barb Wire was?

  • The entitlement! For shame!

  • sleepyirv

    I remain steadfast that it’s possible for liberals to dislike Hillary for good faith reasons and support Bernie for the same reasons.

    • Funkhauser

      That may be true, but we’re in the general election now, where “none of the above” is not a good choice.

    • Origami Isopod

      Good thing nobody is saying otherwise.

    • wjts

      It’s also possible to like the original Ghostbusters movie but suspect that the remake won’t be very good for good-faith reasons. Neither of our banal observations are relevant when discussing either the Sanders dead-enders or the sexist bozos who claim the remake retroactively ruins their childhoods.

      • Indeed!

        I liked the original Ghostbusters a lot when I was a kid.

        I was pretty damn excited by the female casting! Seems like it could be a ton of fun if a bit of a long shot (remakes, y’know).

        My optimism has waned considerably.

        I liked the original GhostbustersBernie a lot when I was a kidin February-March.

        I was pretty damn excited by the female castingleftish wing rhetoric! Seems like it could be a ton of fun a real step toward better politics if only by pulling Hillary to the left even if [the nomination itself was] a bit of a huge long shot (remakes, y’know). [And his candidate failing the Bechdel test and variants was annoying.]

        My optimism has waned considerably.

    • jamesepowell

      This is a posture position that requires one to be steadfast?

      • Hogan

        Unswerving, even.

  • mikeSchilling

    I didn’t like the original Ghostbusters because it was noisy and shiny instead of funny. Is the new one funny?

    • Dave Empey

      I didn’t laugh at the trailers. It turns out that Melissa McCarthy’s humor doesn’t work for me. Your mileage may vary.

      • Joe_JP

        I liked her in Gilmore Girls.

  • Marek

    Keep slamming the Bernie supporters, that’ll work out great.

    (Addressed to the author of the cited piece, not Scott.)

    • Robert M.

      Slamming Sanders supporters, who expressed a perfectly legitimate preference during the Democratic primary, would be silly.

      However, slamming people whose politics are so incoherent that they supported Sanders AND attempt to make the case that either no-vote or (worse) Trump is preferable to voting Clinton? That’s a valuable public service.

      • Marek

        Is there a measurable population of such people? This just feels like piling on. Maybe it’s not nuanced enough, or maybe I’m not reading it right.

        • Warren Terra

          There are identifiable individuals. Whether they could fill a stadium isn’t clear.

          • Origami Isopod

            The national soapboxes they’re getting from Salon and Slate make them a bit more salient than PUMAs were. Not that I’m extremely worried, but still.

            • Warren Terra

              So, my personal favorite right now: there’s this article in a recent issue of The Nation about the future plans of a bunch of Bernie’s most enthusiastic supporters, and most of it is fine and some of it is inspiring. Then, near the end and almost in passing, there’s this dipsh!t from Florida who insists she cannot as a longtime committed Democrat cast a vote for H. Clinton – that it’s somehow inconsistent with “the values of the Democratic Party” going back to FDR – but who nonetheless wants to enroll in an effort to take over the Democratic nominations for the House in 2018. Because of course people are supposed to back her when she can’t even be bothered to tolerate the party’s Presidential nominee.

              • I don’t entirely get the argument in your last sentence. I think she’s wrong, and wrong about how representative Clinton is of the party today. But regardless of her knowledge of history and current events–presumably the Democrats were perfectly happy to let her think the party represented her values–she doesn’t think they represent her and doesn’t want to be in the coalition anymore. She doesn’t owe the party loyalty just because she used to believe she agreed with them.

                She’s probably not going to get what she wants, but maybe the fact that she doesn’t know that has something to do with the fact that no one really cared what she knew as long as she voted reliably.

                • Warren Terra

                  My argument is, she wants to enter a primary process and have the party unify behind her, but she adamantly refuses to engage in any such behavior herself. You could defend her position if Clinton were some terrible aberration, but she really isn’t.

                • Well, there’s a difference between having the party unify behind you and trying to take over the party. Maybe I don’t understand your argument.

                  Apparently she does believe Clinton is an aberration. I agree with you that she’s wrong. She’ll probably lose and that will show her she’s wrong. It’s strange that she didn’t figure it out sooner though.

        • jamesepowell

          I don’t really know if there are many such people, but I’m kind of curious about people who say things like “Keep slamming the Bernie supporters, that’ll work out great.”

          There’s an implied threat of some bad thing in there and I’m not sure what the threat is or why it is being implied.

          • Robespierre

            Individually, they’d be wrong to desert Hillary, of course.

            On the other side of agency, if you keep spitting on a large number of people, statistically it’s likely some of them won’t help you.

        • Redwood Rhiadra

          Fully HALF of my political activist friends are in this category. (None of them in the “vote for Trump over Clinton” camp, but “Write In Bernie or Vote Green” is their motto.” Even now, they are still “You can’t scare us with Trump, you neoliberal terrorists” and “Clinton is a warmongering corporatist Republican” and “The D-Rats need to fail so we can have a Real Revolution that will create a True Progressive Government”.

          This is why I think we are in serious danger of losing this election.

  • Joe_JP

    If we are going for Abbott and Costello ghost movies, the model has to be The Time Of Their Lives. Come on. Wait. What was the point again?

    • dexitroboper

      What’s on second.

    • Downpuppy

      Hold That Ghost on DailyMotion is a rather strange movie

    • Hogan

      The Susquehanna Hat Company?!

    • AlanInSF

      Abbott and Costello scared me as a child, the same way clowns did. They were creepy and icky, the kind of person your mother warned you to stay away from. Am I the only one?

      • John Revolta


        Clowns I had no problem with, but A & C were just………….wrong. Lou was trying too hard to be Curly Howard and not pulling it off, and Bud had no reason to be there at all, and his moustache squicked me out.

        • John Revolta

          And let’s not even talk about those suits. Gaaah.

  • Johnny sycophant

    Well that’s an odd article…
    With regard to the movie, the first trailer was really really really bad, bad enough you have to wonder if someone was trying to deliberately sabotage the film’s marketing.

    It’ll probsbly suck, most films do, and Ghostbusters 2 sucked also…

    • jamesepowell

      Ghostbusters 2 was like an out-takes reel of the first film.

    • Snuff curry

      With the sequel, we wouldn’t have this, so on the whole I’ll take it.

      • Halloween Jack

        I’ve been trying to think of who Wun Wun–the sole remaining wildling giant who’s had some good moments in this season of Game of Thrones–reminded me of, and now I’ve got it.

  • joelcr
    • Origami Isopod

      Nice to see the Carvel Ice Cream guy found a whole new career on YouTube.

  • glasnost

    i get that this is satire, but the second paragraph is a legit, defensible, even banally correct opinion. the ending line is rude, but this movie looks … not funny, or creative. i am more or less tired and done with big hollywood blockbusters, of which this is one, and gender swapping the main characters doesn’t make a shitty remake worth your time.

    its less effective as a satire because the satirical argument seems pretty reasonable.

    note: hilary clinton is fine. likable enough, even.

    • Pseudonym

      That’s kind of the point though. There is a legitimate problem with [Hollywood/campaign] finance, but the last sentence gives away the game that this isn’t really the motivation.

    • .

      • Pseudonym


        (By the way, I recently figured out that if you delete all the text in your comment when editing it lets you delete the entire comment!)

    • Halloween Jack

      Just as there actually are arguments to be made in criticism of gaming journalism, but that of course is absolutely not what Gamergaters are really all about.

  • Mike in DC

    He should try to persuade the superdelegatesproducers to to reject the new Ghostbusters film they backed and support a wide theatrical re-release of Hold That Ghost, because Hold That Ghost will perform better against Faces of Death 7.

  • N__B

    I strongly suspect this post was ghost-written.

  • Davis

    I confused Hold that Ghost with Ghost Breakers with Bob Hope, Paulette Goddard and Willie Best, especially when he mentioned a famous black man outside the theater where it was playing. It was later remade as Scared Stiff with Martin and Lewis. Not that anybody cares.

  • I would totally go see a remake of Ghostbusters with Michele Obama, Jill Stein and Elizabeth Warren in it.

  • This all probably makes more sense if you read this and click all the links.

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