I don’t dislike this new Ghostbusters movie because they’re all women, that’s silly and ridiculous. I can’t believe that’s even a question, with my history. I mean, my mom and sisters are all women and I know them, so how could I dislike other women that are not them? It doesn’t make any sense and, frankly, it’s below the belt. I mean, how dare you?
I hate the new Ghostbusters movie because my number one issue when judging a film is and has always been Hollywood finance reform. And frankly, I’m tired of all big blockbuster movies. The movie system is corrupt and I think we need to put our foot down, right now specifically in 2016, to put a stop to this new Ghostbusters movie as a signal that we’re done with all big hollywood blockbusters. And if you don’t agree with me, well, maybe you need to stop buying movie tickets with your vagina.
And the people I know, we all mostly agree, it’s either Hold That Ghost or NOTHING. We think the movie theaters should shut down if they’re not going to play Hold That Ghost. Yeah, we know some people get food and go to the bathroom at movie theaters, but if they’re going to play the new female Ghostbusters, that’s just as bad as showing Faces of Death 7 in our opinions! And those two things are so similar and interchangeable that I won’t bother showing or telling you why. That’s not good enough? Here’s a picture of a Bridesmaids DVD and a Faces of Death 7 VHS standing next to each other on the SAME SHELF.
This new movie Ghostbusters reminds me of the movie Ghost from the ‘90s and now that we’re not in the ‘90s I’ve decided I don’t like the movie Ghost. I’m going to say that Ghostbusters is the same as Ghost and hold Ghostbusters responsible for the things I don’t like about Ghost.
Now, if Elizabeth Warren and Jill Stein and Michelle Obama make a new Ghostbusters in a hypothetical four or eight years from now, I could get behind that idea. That vague notion that wouldn’t hold up under any scrutiny for a variety of reasons is CLEARLY a better option than this new Ghostbusters movie made by competent people that’s seemingly ready to be shown any minute now.