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The Worst Non-ISIS Person in the World

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asshole_lockhorns

Charles C. Johnson.

My mind cannot fully grasp the fact that a comically inept (although AWARD WINNING!) blogger safely in California feels compelled to inform you that he’s morally superior to an extraordinarily brave reporter humiliated and brutally killed by some of the world’s worst terrorist thugs. What the hell is wrong with some people?

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  • Cheerful

    I am not a violent person, really! But I have rarely felt as strongly the urge to put a knife to this man’s throat and ask him exactly how brave he feels now.

  • That Johnson guy really is a disgusting piece of work. He actually commented on the Clarion Ledger column claiming he’d filed an “FOIA request” for Michael Brown’s juvenile record. Good luck with that one, shitheel.

    • postmodulator

      That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. How do we sometimes lose to these people?

    • What possible public interest could he claim to have for that? “Uh… my writers want to know if Brown deserved to die for more than back-talking a cop while black. While you’re at it, do you have any pictures of him flexing for the mirror while wearing saggy pants?”

      • postmodulator

        You know, the other thing is, if there were anything at all in his juvie record it would have been “leaked” already. It’s not like law enforcement in Ferguson is super careful about protecting his rights — or super aware of how the civilized world perceives them.

    • calling all toasters

      OMG ERIC HOLDER IS COVERING IT UP

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        IT’S ALL PART OF THE BENGHAZI CONSPIRACY

  • pillsy

    I was wondering would could possibly make me think less of Charles C. Johnson after the shenanigans around the MS GOP Senate Primary.

    Now I know.

    • I had seen the guy’s mug before, and figured he was just some generic right-wing asshole. He has a very special place set aside for him when the Grim Reaper comes calling.

      • rea

        I take it he’s not the Little Green Footballs guy, but another Charles Johnson . . .

        • No. LGF Johnson has been ragging on him, & pointing out RW trolls say that kinda shit all the time.

          • matt w

            LGF guy, like Andrew Sullivan, is an example of how the GOP is a white hole of crazy–it just keeps expelling crazy while generating more even more heated crazy. Who would’ve thought that the GOP would’ve wound up too crazy for LGF? Who would’ve thought that was conceptually possible.

            • GeoX

              In fairness, LGF guy DID become substantially less crazy.

              • rea

                He was a decent guitarist, which, of course, does not mean he wasn’t crazy, but makes it a bit more disappointing

                • postmodulator

                  Ted Nugent played some decent things in the Seventies.

  • Sarcastro The Munificient

    Wait, you mean that ridiculous dog turd isn’t a Mississippi native? I’ve been thinking all along that he was local to Jackson and therefore, bless his heart.

    No excuse now. Just none.

    • Nope. Not ours.

      • DrDick

        You are a very lucky person indeed.

        • Hogan

          OT: DrDick, my wife’s company needs a Navajo translator (ideally a native speaker). If you know anyone, please put them in touch with me at hogan590 at yahoo dot com.

          The rest of yiz, feel free to respond if you can help.

          • Lee Rudolph

            I think the Germans are probably on to that, by now.

            • Hogan

              I just hope they don’t tell the Japanese.

  • CP

    Republicans are people who, when given a choice between real war veterans and draft-dodging cowards, extolled the draft-dodging coward as a brave and steely-eyed Manly Man and mocked the actual veteran’s injuries as boo-boos and the man himself as a drama queen for having had them. (Whether I’m talking about Bush/Kerry or Chambliss/Cleland or someone else is up to the reader).

    They’re also the same people who, when a journalist was raped in Tahrir Square, gloated that she deserved-okay-not-quite-deserved-but-yeah-kind-of-deserved it for being silly enough to go out and report on those crowds of wild hajjis as if they weren’t all animals.

    I wasn’t even a little surprised when I read this story. This is the absolutely standard response of your standard conservative to anyone who dies in a war zone in any context other than their Rambo fantasies.

    (The only reason the four dead in Benghazi were hagiographed is because they could pin it on Obama. I have no doubt at all that otherwise, you’d just have gotten the same kind of lines, about how this is what happens when limp-dicked diplomats go out into war zones, and that’s what Chris Stevens gets for thinking he could conduct public diplomacy with those crowds of savage animals).

    • See also, crowing about supporting the troops until one of them gets rescued by a Democratic president, and then he’s suddenly a traitor whose family should be harassed for, I don’t know, waiting for his return for five years.

      They played a snippet of Foley’s statement on the radio this morning. I have no idea what was going through his head, but his voice was shockingly calm, even talking about his impending death.

      • BigHank53

        Remember James Lileks’ meltdown over an Iraqi who was insufficiently appreciative of everything America had done for him? If dead American soldiers are such a big deal, Mr. Lileks, why didn’t you ask more questions before the Bush administration decided to make more of ’em?

        • CP

          I have a private theory, based on no rigorous scientific study whatsoever, that the Iraqi and Afghan people’s failure to Greet Us As Liberators, and otherwise play their assigned part as background extras in the World War Two movie the Bush administration was trying to film, did more to fuel Islamophobic feelings in the U.S. than 9/11 itself did.

          You saw it in the broad trend of people whining that the Iraqis and Afghans weren’t doing their part or needed to put some skin in the game or whatever – Lileks was just the tip of the iceberg.

          I was just beginning to read political blogs at the time, and on the right wing, there was a sea change from 2003 to 2004. 2003, you still had a segment of conservative thought that seemed to sincerely believe in the moral crusade for liberating the Iraqis (and that us loony libs were The Real Racists for not wanting that). 2004, the theme of “these fucking savages don’t deserve our selfless gift of freedom” had become ubiquitous.

          • BoredJD

            When the real world doesn’t conform to Rambo movies, or the economy to Econ 101 theories of how people interact, it reminds me of when a child finds out there’s no Santa Claus, except that they’re running the country.

    • Origami Isopod

      and mocked the actual veteran’s injuries as boo-boos and the man himself as a drama queen for having had them.

      Or the woman as a whiny slut who didn’t belong in the Armed Forces in the first place.

      Also, this is giving me flashbacks to VA Tech, when the same sorts were railing against the slaughtered as “cowards” for not standing up and fighting against the gunman. Including the 60-something college professor who helped his students out the window instead of fleeing, which may have cost him his own life.

  • cpinva

    oh, that fuckwit. this was pretty telling to me, in one of his previous backpedals:

    “I am rather notorious for not understanding sarcasm or satire”

    I know part of his gig is self-promotional: say anything to get noticed, because there is no such thing as bad publicity. however, I also get a sense that this guy maybe suffers from some form of asperger’s syndrome, the kind that renders him totally incapable of appropriate social interaction. this, added to the essential idiocy of his “product”, makes for a “perfect storm” of disgusting.

    • matt w

      I think it’s unfair to people with Asperger’s syndrome to saddle them with this piece of crap.

      • drkrick

        As a group, Asperger’s/HFA people don’t suffer from any lack of empathy or concern for others. We don’t always manage or express it very well because we have trouble reading non-verbal communication (facial expression, body language, tone of voice) and understanding the unwritten social rules of the road, but we’re no more likely to be malevolent or callous than neurotypical people. Whatever this guy’s problem is, where he stands on the autism spectrum doesn’t explain anywhere near all of it.

      • cpinva

        believe me, I meant no disrespect to those suffering from Asperger’s. it just occurred to me, reading that, it might partly explain his seeming inability to connect social cue dots. plus, he’s just an asshole.

        • weirdnoise

          I think someone suffering from both Aspergers and Narcissistic Personality Disorder might otherwise be diagnosed as an Asshole. But whether that contributes to CCJ’s behavior, or he Simply Doesn’t Care, is between him and his therapist. Bad behavior is bad behavior.

        • Origami Isopod

          His comments on Twitter have absolutely nothing to do with autism. “Flaming asshole” isn’t on the spectrum.

    • twbb

      He claims to have autism.

      • Hogan

        He also claims to be a journalist, so there you go.

      • timb

        This. In fact, it was in context to the quote above regarding sarcasm.

        I had a hilarious tweeting accident wherein I confused this a-hole with gun fetishist and British a-hole Charles C. W. Johnson (the name itself is a sign of being a penis).

        It was kinda funny, because I realized the same analysis: grifting conman loser applied to both of them

        • matt w

          Hey now, an excellent novelist and Gold Glove catcher have the name, too.

        • mark f

          You’re thinking of Charles C. W. Cooke of National Review, who is definitely a dick, but who, to be fair, goes by that name to distinguish himself from Charlie Cook of the Cook Political Report.

    • I also get a sense that this guy maybe suffers from some form of asperger’s syndrome, the kind that renders him totally incapable of appropriate social interaction.

      The safer bet is he’s a raging dick who is fortunate enough to live in society that permits (and even encourages) raging dickishness.

      • cpinva

        “The safer bet is he’s a raging dick who is fortunate enough to live in society that permits (and even encourages) raging dickishness.”

        well yeah, there’s that too.

      • so-in-so

        Well, until the NRA and ALEC get finished changing the legal codes. At some point then raging dick becomes a dangerous profession.

    • BoredJD

      He seems to be more of a sociopath feeding off of the “outrage” he’s created, like it’s some fucking awesome superpower to be able to piss people off. He’s literally a child who’s figured out that when you pull people’s hair they go “ow!”

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        He’s literally a child who’s figured out that when you pull people’s hair they take a big stinky dump in the middle of the living room floor people go “ow! EWWWW!

        Fixorated for accuramancy.

  • sleepyirv

    Fuck him and fuck Calvin Coolidge.

    • timb

      especially Coolidge. The right wing’s obsession with Coolidge is embarrassing

      • DrS

        Especially since he’s the original chicken fucker.

        Don’t tell Mrs. Coolidge.

        • Procopius

          I think she knows. I catch her sometimes giving him funny looks.

  • Ronan

    I remember Mark Steyn wrote something similiar when Keneneth Bigley was murdered in Iraq back in the early days of the war. These people are fucking delusional.

    • Ronan

      largely unrelated, but i think this is quite a good premise for attacking the Obama admins foreign policy

      http://warontherocks.com/2014/08/peace-and-war-the-space-between/

      what say y’all ?

      • Ronan

        ..actually, that seems a little disrespectful considering this is a thread about a young mans killing which was blamed by his muderers on US policy. So i didnt mean it like that(feel free to ignore link)

  • Sigh…I enjoyed the Super Bowl halftime thread much better…

  • Matt McKeon

    Reporters that actually go to where the news is happening get criticized by those hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Think of the flak the reporters in Ferguson got.

    Somebody used the term “tragedy surfing” using Limbaugh bonehead comments on Robin Williams’ suicide. A story comes up that get a lot of notice and these parasites make a comment outrageous enough to grab some attention. Its not just stupidity, its marketing.

    • It’s how Westboro Baptist picks a lot of the things they picket. Will it get them attention? Will it get them on TV? They’ll be there in a heartbeat. Limbaugh and Co. are playing the same game.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      Yeah, Limbaugh’s suffering from attention deficit disorder (people not paying sufficient attention to HIM).

      He should try following Robin William’s example, that’s a sure-fire winner.

  • BigHank53

    Oh. He’s from Fresno. That explains a lot. That city might as well be in Mississippi.

    • The Dark Avenger

      Interestingly enough, a recent survey has shown that Fresno is only a conservative city compared to other California cities.

      Is Johnson the idiot also involved with the Freepers who are also based in Fresno?

      • sparks

        The wingnuttiest relatives I had (all in CA) came from only two places – Fresno and San Diego. The Fresno ones were especially charming in the way the talked about Mexicans.

        • burritoboy

          Bakersfield is another rightie – tightie – whitie city in California. Modesto isn’t quite as bad, for whatever reason.

      • Todd

        “We claim him, proudly.” – Victor Davis Hanson

  • Ann Outhouse

    But it takes REAL courage to say such things, knowing the liberal hordes are going to villify you on Twitter for saying them.

    • It’s a Twitter beheading! What courage!

      • postmodulator

        What is it about Twitter and Tumblr that gives people such delusions of courage? They’re just pushing electrons around in ways that are almost guaranteed to be consequence-free. (I’m including a lot of people who are notionally on the left in this.)

      • Alvin Alpaca

        And you know that head’s gonna end up on a pike…

  • If you’re going by dumbshits who say dumbshit about what’s going on in Ferguson, I assume you’ll issue regular updates to this post throughout the day.

  • Bitter Scribe

    This guy reminds me a little of that French Revolution asshole who sneered when the queen and others were beheaded, then screamed like a little girl when it was his turn.

    • postmodulator

      Robespierre? I thought that was his broken jaw.

      I’m fascinated by the various ways people reacted to their impending executions during the Terror. It’s why I bring up Madame du Barry so often.

      • MND

        I think he means Hebert.

        • CP

          That’s what I think, too. I recall reading that he’d spent the entire night before his execution screaming in terror from his jail cell, and was basically catatonic by the time he was loaded into the tumbrel for execution.

          • postmodulator

            I can’t find an account of that online, funnily enough. I did find the account of him accusing Marie Antoinette of incest with her 7-year-old son.

            • CP

              I’m going off of the memory of my history books. Hadn’t heard about the incest thing, though. Crazy motherfucker.

              • MND

                There were a bunch of stories about how terrified he was before the execution, though they might have been exaggerated given how much everyone hated the guy and what a good story it makes given his mockery of previous victims.

              • Lee Rudolph

                What a thing to call a 7 year old!

            • Snarki, child of Loki

              I can’t find an account of that online, funnily enough.

              You have to use the correct Google search terms.

              Try: “shorter Hebert”

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yes, I meant Hebert. Couldn’t think of his name.

          Ordinarily I wouldn’t slag on someone for having that reaction, because God knows I’d freak out too. But this guy was really obnoxious–sort of Howard Stern meets Rush Limbaugh, but from the left.

      • runsinbackground

        According to Wikipedia she begged for her life. Sounds like pretty dull stuff to me, to be honest. Am I missing something?

        • postmodulator

          It’s more the backstory. She was pretty innocent of everything except getting railed by Louis XV and helping out some friends of hers. And she mostly seemed too dumb to understand why the revolutionists were even mad at her. I consider it the perfect microcosmic example of the excesses of violent revolution.

        • cpinva

          yes. she was the first to not act the aristocrat on the scaffold, which freaked out the crowd. up to that point, everyone had made a big point of “dying a good death”, with dignity and stoicism. mdm du barry shattered that mold, forcing the crowd to view her as all too human. public executions in france suffered a massive drop in ratings after that.

        • Julia Grey

          She also had a totally non-aristocratic background. She was literally born a peasant, and had to be taught all the Airs and Graces quite late in life. Apparently her beauty allowed her to rise to a level where she could attract the notice of the nobility, but she was only raised to the aristocracy itself because her husband (?) wanted her to be able to “officially” bang the king in order to increase his own power at court.

          And her weepy, pathetic requests for “just one more moment, Monsieur,” addressed to the headsman on the scaffold, became a kind of catchphrase of the day, fodder for the twittering masses (heh) which may have started out mocking her but later seemed to get quite a lot more sympathetic.]

          • runsinbackground

            she was only raised to the aristocracy itself because her husband (?) wanted her to be able to “officially” bang the king in order to increase his own power at court.

            Her pimp married her off to his brother after he had arranged for her to seduce the king, and she needed a forged birth certificate as well as a title, but yeah, pretty much. Again according to Wikipedia, that’s more or less what happened with all of Louis XV’s mistresses, with varying degrees of consent from their husbands.

      • Lee Rudolph

        It’s why I bring up Madame du Barry so often.

        And yet, when we were in that thread about really terrible movies with hot-shot casts, did you mention Du Barry Was a Lady? I think not.

        Virginia “Miss Deadpan” O’Brien’s performance almost redeems the rest of the disaster, but not quite.

        • Julia Grey

          Was Bob Hope in that? I have some weird recollection…

          • Hogan

            And Lucille Ball, I think.

  • Whatever happened to “never surrender”? Or is that just something you say to make yourself feel good?

    Since when is “never surrender” a universal or even common tenet held by Americans? That’s a macho soldier’s mantra, and rarely true even then.

    Who exactly does he think he’s quoting?

    • matt w
      • postmodulator

        Actually laughing at my desk. Thank God I’m unemployed at the moment.

      • Scott Lemieux

        I dunno, he seems more like a Corey Hart guy to me.

        • elm

          I was just about to post that. Hart, of course, is also Canadian. So, I must you, yet another Canadian, is “Never Surrender” part of the Canadian ethos? Maybe Johnson should move north.

        • Malaclypse

          I need to disagree. Canadian power trios are central to the wingnut worldview.

    • CP

      Galaxy Quest, man.

      • Julia Grey

        Gaud I love that movie. One of Alan Rickman’s best roles, and Sigourney Weaver as a big-boobed blonde bubble-head?

        Who could ask for anything more?

        Well, maybe a lead with more real-world “serious actor” gravitas (à la Christian Bale) to really goose the ironic meta ante….

        Has Bale ever done comedy? Discounting American Psycho, I mean.

        • Julia Grey

          There she goes again, folks. Julia Grey being flippant and OT at the end of a SERIOUS thread.

        • wjts

          Has Bale ever done comedy?

          American Hustle had a comedic slant to it. And the IMDB tells me he was in a film version of A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

          • postmodulator

            As a kid he was in the comic relief parts of Branagh’s Henry V, if that counts.

            • wjts

              Whom did he play? Fluellen’s leek? (That’s the only “funny” part of Henry V I remember off the top of my head.)

      • Sly

        By Grabthar’s Hammer… what an asshole.

      • calling all toasters

        At this point we have to seriously consider that Chuckles may actually be a Thermian. There must be evil Thermians, right?

        • weirdnoise

          Have you every tried to play the Theremin? They’re all evil!

    • DrS

      Who exactly does he think he’s quoting?

      John McCain?

    • socraticsilence

      It’s possible he’s a huge fan of the fascist Japanese?

    • Procopius

      I think that’s from “Galaxy Quest” from 1999. A movie about the crew from a Star Trek type television show who are begged by an alien race to come save them from another alien invader. Of course they aren’t really the heroic types they played on TV. That was the TV Captain’s motto, repeated on every show, “Never give up. Never surrender!” It’s pretty schlocky and a bit too slapsticky for my taste, but I just recently ran across a reference to it and decided to take a look. If that’s what he’s thinking about it’s pretty weird.

  • mark f

    The hilarious thing is that Brave Sir Chuck backed his comments (“Kind of hard to like James Foley”) down after being tortured with mean tweets:

    It was never about Foley; it’s about the courage of Quattrocchi & Pearl who told Islam to go hang. “Give me liberty or give me death…”

    #RIP James Foley & all those who are killed in the name of Islam. My condolences to his family.

    • Ronan

      i dont think it matters as a rebuttal to Johnson(as he’s a moron), but it’s also worth bearing in mind the pressure that Foley was probably under to do as they said(or something might happen to one of the other hostages, for example)

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  • socraticsilence

    The really disgusting thing is that this is the same guy who blamed the press and the police for the suicide of a Tea Party leader who masterminded a nursing home break-in where they shot candid video of Sen. Cochran’s wife and was subsequently charged for it.

    So, to follow the logic– saying what people who tortured you and are about to execute you want you to say, likely in an attempt to stay alive= surrender, committing suicide when your crimes are discovered and your about to face the consequences of said crimes = brave martyr brought down by his enemies.

  • Julia Grey

    Yeah, poor man, it was probably a “Say this or we will hunt down your family in the U.S. and blow them up along with everyone around them” kind of thing. Even if he didn’t entirely believe they’d attack them specifically, he knew he was going to die in any case, so why take a chance that they’d take revenge on ANYBODY else for his non-cooperation.

    I’d make the statement, too, under the circumstances, and assume that everybody would realize it was coerced in some fashion.

    I’m betting Obama is in hell over this shit. Gotta stop/slow down these assholes, but more action against them will probably also mean more spectacularly dead hostages laid to the Presidential account. Even though the right wing thinks he’s following the progress of his “brothers in crime” like a hawk, Ferguson is probably a ways down his list of priorities at the moment.

    • Procopius

      I’d make the statement, too, under the circumstances, and assume that everybody would realize it was coerced in some fashion.

      That’s what the Army instructed soldiers to do in Vietnam if they were taken prisoner. Don’t resist torture like John McCain, go ahead and give them their confession because everybody will know it’s coerced.

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