When Feeling Entitled to Sex Goes More Wrong than Usual

I am as one with you, on that. Kia te kuware rere ki to ratou whakawa.

Jesus.

Mostly males, though female Incels are not unheard of.

This used to be the point where I’d link the long, vitriolic discussion on the wikipedia talk page for incel were a bunch of dudes insisted a woman can’t be incel, because any woman can have sex if she looks hard enough. Wikipedia seems to have since, and mercifully, deleted that article.

Oh, God, incels. Somehow, back when I used to be more involved in Wikipedia than I am now, I came upon the Wikipedia article on involuntary celibacy. It was an amazing document of self-pitying BS with no sources. When I went to the talk page to try to figure out what was going on, the whole thing just turned into a self-pity party with a bunch of wikipedia users complaining about how they were “Incels,” and how hard life was for them. Jesus Christ.

Privileged white male checking in. One of the striking things about teenagers and young adults who think like this is how lonely they are, and how in their loneliness and total self-focus they create totally whack explanations for why the world is passing them by.

I think constant exposure to closed off internet communities with their own lingo and norms aggravates this, but so does ultra-competitiveness in school with little space for socialization and play, parents working extremely long hours and little involved, growing up in sprawling suburbs with little communal focus besides aiding the growth of private wealth, etc. I imagine this has all gotten worse.

I had the same reaction. How in the hell is it relevant? It comes off as a semi excuse for his anger if you ask me. Especially it’s placement as the final sentence. I saw it on the Guardian.

That was in the earliest reports, which didn’t have much to go on, so the type of area where the shooting took place was important. There had been a full fledged riot back in March which with tear gas, rubber bullets and 50 people hospitalized. When it turned out the shooting had no connection to the riots, that was removed, but the sentence about it being a party neighborhood remained. Wire reports on breaking news can get really odd before they get pulled and completely rewritten.

I think that this is a brave post on a subject that is not easily acknowledged. Sexual and emotional happiness are not evenly distributed, and we are resistant to accepting how fundamental they can be to life. Some people, by birth or temperament, find them unattainable. I was almost 30 before I did; and it was much later that I found by accident a condition labelled ‘love shyness’ that described a good deal of how I had lived my early life, and which I escaped mostly via luck. I have no idea if it is a real thing or not. The Internet has huge powers of connecting people, and it can relieve the isolation of many people; but it also can connect isolated people in ways that are negative, and the MRAs and MGTOW are an obvious example of this.

I think this is getting back to bspencer’s point about the masculinity complex. While ‘one is the loneliest number’ the masculinity complex makes this much more hard on men than it does on women. I have a number of female friends who’ve been celibate and romantically unattached for most of the last 15 years now. Its not uncommon for educated/successful black women of a certain age. And yet they seem to tackle it much easier than do men.

I’m getting real…pancakes. Mmmmmm

Your argument is he was British ?

If Rodgers had a racial motivation, it wasn’t because of any mixed race on his part:

Rodgers posted comments in January, beginning with “Saw a black guy sitting with 4 white girls,” causing him to admit his frustration over white women socializing with minority men:

What rage-inducing sights did you guys see today? Don’t you just hate seeing these things when you go out? It just makes you want to quit life.

Why is it that the mulattoes, half-castes, and lascars always seem to go for the blondes? Weird Tales was right!

Get real this kid was slaughtering blondes and he was mixed race. This was a racially motivated crime.

That is a given. He stated it in his manifesto.

Well this was inevitable if tragic.

“We’re moving at a faster pace,
look out, here comes the Master Race!”

I’ve looked into his family history…. He’s the scion of a mix race marriage.

Which is certainly compelling, but I’d be reluctant to make any definitive statement until the medical examiner releases Rodger’s phrenology report, humoural balance, and blood-phlogiston level.

OMG, Reality Racist is trying to make him into Obama:

Mongrelized race, check.
Liberal establishment, check.
Grandfather saw the death camps, check.

Sicker and sicker! Almost Limbaughesque!

His grandfather actually filmed concentration camps? That makes him more Reaganesque than Ronald Reagan, who told the Prime Minister of Israel that he filmed the camps when in actuality he never left Hollywood during WW2. So maybe he was conservative. (/conservative”logic”)

I do, but you have to promise not to steal his lines when you go out hunting all those mixed-race kids.

If only there were some service which indexed Internet webpages and allowed searches for any given string of words.

His views on women are, unsurprisingly, straight out of the MRA/PUA alphabet soup of misogyny:

[My stepmother] returned from Morocco, and she was very angry with me due to the way I acted while I was there. She effectively kicked me out of father’s house, and because I was eighteen, she was allowed to. Father didn’t do anything to stop her, being the weak man that he is. This is how it has always been. Father has always given [my stepmother] free reign to impose her rules on the household…. Father kept saying that the house is her house as much as his, and that she has the right to kick me out. No! I am the eldest son! The house should be MY house before hers! This caused any respect I still had for my father to fade away completely. It was such a betrayal, to put his second wife before his eldest son. What kind of father would do that? The bitch must be really good to him in bed, I figured. What a weak man.

The move to Santa Barbara is the endgame, the ultimate climax of everything. I saw it as a new chance that was given to me to finally have the things I want in life: love, sex, friends, fun, acceptance, a sense of belonging. But I could never forgive the world for denying me such things in the past. I was already turning twenty soon. I had already lost many years of my life. I deserve better than that. I am an intelligent gentleman, and deserve the love of girls more than the other obnoxious boys of my age, and yet they get girls and I don’t. That is a crime that can never be forgotten, nor can it be forgiven. I always wanted to exact my revenge on humanity for forcing me to live such a life, but I’ve also always had the hope that if I can do things in my life to make up for all my suffering, then that in itself would be a form of peaceful revenge.
In truth, the move Santa Barbara was actually a chance that I was giving to the world, not the other way around! I was giving the world one last chance to give me the life that I know I’m entitled to, the life that other boys are able to live with ease. If I still have to suffer the same rejection and injustice even after I move to Santa Barbara, then that will be the last straw. I will have my vengeance.

Females truly have something mentally wrong with them. Their minds are flawed, and at this point in my life I was beginning to see it. The more I explored my college town of Isla Vista, the more ridiculousness I witnessed. All of the hot, beautiful girls walked around with obnoxious, tough jock-type men who partied all the time and acted crazy. They should be going for intelligent gentlemen such as myself. Women are sexually attracted to the wrong type of man. This is a major flaw in the very foundation of humanity. It is completely and utterly wrong, in every sense of the word.

I concluded that women are flawed. There is something metnally wrong with the way their brains are wired, as if they haven’t evolved from animal-like thinking. They are incapable of reason or thinking rationally. They are like animals, completely controlled by their primal, depraved emotions and impulses. That is why they are attracted to barbaric, wild, beast-like men. They are beasts themselves. Beasts should not be able to have any rights in a civilized society. If their wickedness is not contained, the whole of humanity will be held back from advancement to a more civilized state. Women should not have the right to choose who to mate with. That choice should be made for them by civilized men of intelligence.

Misogyny kills, plain and simple.

His attacks yesterday didn’t come out of nowhere. Assuming these stories are true and not retrospective revenge fantasies, his murder spree was the culmination of a series of assaults:

As I made my way back from school one day during the first week, I was stopped at a stoplight in Isla Vista when I saw two hot blonde girls waiting at the bus stop. I was dressed in one of my nice shirts, so I looked at them and smiled. They looked at me, but they didn’t even deign to smile back. They just looked away as if I was a fool. As I drove away I became very infuriated. It was such an insult. This was the way all girls treated me, and I was sick and tired of it. In a rage, I made a U-turn, pulled up to their bus stop and splashed my Starbucks latte all over them. I felt a spiteful satisfaction as I saw it stain their jeans…. They deserved the punishment I gave them. It was such a pity that my latte wasn’t hot enough to burn them. Those girls deserved to be dumped in boiling water for the crime of not giving me the attention and adoration I so rightfully deserve!

On one of my very last days as a teenager, as I was sitting at my usual place at the food court outside Domino’s, I saw a sight that shattered my heart to pieces. A tall, blonde, jock-type guy walked into one of the restaurants, and at his side was one of the sexiest girls I had ever seen. She too was tall and blonde. They were both taller than me, and they kissed each other passionately. They made me feel so inferior and worthless and small. I glared at them with intense hatred as I sat by myself in my lonely misery. I could never have a girl like that. The sight was burned into my memory, and it caused a scar that will haunt me forever. When they walked away, I followed them in my car for a few minutes, and when they entered a less inhabited area I opened my window and splashed my iced tea all over them. It was all I could do at the time, but at least it was something. At least I made some effort to fight back against the injustice. I felt sick with hatred that night. The hatred boiled inside me with burning vitriol.

On one of the days in July, when I was roaming around Girsh Park, a group of popular college kids arrived to play kickball in the fields. They all looked like typical fraternity jocks, tall and muscular. The kind of guys I’ve hated and envied all my life. With them came a flock of beautiful blonde girls, and they looked like they were having so much fun playing together. One of the girls did a handstand in the grass, and her sexy bare stomach showed as her shirt hung down. All of the girls were scantily clad. Rage boiled inside me as I watched those people who thought they were better than me enjoying their pleasurable little lives together. The rage was so intense that I couldn’t take it. I was insulted too much. I couldn’t leave them without getting some form of revenge, so I drove to the nearby K-mart, bought a super-soaker, filled it up with orange juice that I bought at the same store, and drove back to the park. They were still there, having the time of their lives, and I wanted to ruin it for them. I wanted to ruin their fun just like they ruined mine, as they would never accept me among them. I screamed at them with rage as I sprayed them with my super soaker. When the boys started to yell and chase after me, I quickly got into my car and drove away. I was giddy with ecstatic, hate-fueled excitement. I wished I could spray boiling oil at the foul beasts. They deserved to die horrible, painful deaths just for the crime of enjoying a better life than me.

At a house party:

I stood awkwardly in the front yard for a bit, realizing how pathetic I looked all by myself when everyone was partying around me. To calm down, I climbed up onto a wooden ledge that bordered the street and plunged down on one of the chairs there. Isla Vista was at its wildest state at that time, and I saw lots of guys walking around with hot blonde girls on their arm. It fueled me with rage, as it always had. I should be one of those guys, but no blonde girls gave me that chance. I looked down at all of them, and in my drunken carelessness, extended my arm out and pretended to shoot them all, laughing giddily as I did it. Eventually, some partiers climbed up onto the ledge. They were all obnoxious, rowdy boys whom I’ve always despised. A couple of pretty girls came up and talked to them, but not to me. They all started socializing right next to me, and none of the girls paid any attention to me. I rose from my chair and tried to act arrogant and cocky toward them, throwing insults at everyone. They only laughed at me and started insulting me back. That was the last straw, I had taken enough insults that night. A dark, hate-fueled rage overcame my entire being, and I tried to push as many of them as I could from the 10-foot ledge. My main target was the girls. I wanted to punish them for talking to the obnoxious boys instead of me. It was one of the most foolish and rash things I ever did, and I almost risked everything in doing it, but I was so drunk with rage that I didn’t care. I failed to push any of them from the ledge, and the boys started to push me, which resulted in me being the one to fall onto the street. When I landed, I felt a snap in my ankle, followed by a stinging pain. I slowly got up and found that I couldn’t even walk. I had to stumble, and stumble I did. I tried to get away from there as fast as I could.

His murders were in keeping with a long-standing pattern of violent behavior towards women.

I don’t have anything to say about this last quote:

My first act of preparation was the purchase of my first handgun. I did this quickly and hastily, at a local gun shop called Goleta Gun and Supply. I had already done some research on handguns, and I decided to purchase the Glock 34 semiautomatic pistol, an efficient and highly accurate weapon. I signed all of the papers and was told that my pickup day was in mid-December. That fell in nicely, because that was when I was planning on staying in Santa Barbara till. After I picked up the handgun, I brought it back to my room and felt a new sense of power. I was now armed. Who’s the alpha male now, bitches? I thought to myself, regarding all of the girls who’ve looked down on me in the past.

Actually, I guess I do. This is what happens when men are encouraged to think of women as things rather than people. This is the acme of anxious masculinity. This is what happens when misogynist fantasies escape their festering internet echo chambers. And this is what happens when anyone with a couple of hundred dollars can buy a murder machine over the counter.

Karen, my thoughts are with you. Please update us.

I’ve known too many young men like this.

yeah, riiiight. people have been blaming other people for their own shortcomings since way before Marx came along

There’s better horror, there’s better porn, there’s hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. There are enough real assholes, like the one in your class, without searching them out on the net.

I say this as a friend: rent the collected works of Keanu Reeves, but don’t keep researching this guy.

You need to replace the part of your central processing unit that simulates human speech patterns. It’s giving you away.