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And You Thought Hiring Jim Zorn Was Dumb!

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In an attempt to defend his team’s racist nickname, Dan Snyder has hired a p.r. team consisting of 1)Lanny Davis, and 2)several people less respected and more corrupt than Lanny Davis. It’s like, how much more Dan Snyder could this be? None. None more Dan Snyder. As Chait says, bringing George Allen aboard to defend your team’s racist nickname against charges of racism is particularly special. Apparently Zombie James J. Kilpatrpcik was unavailable.

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  • BigHank53

    On the bright side, it’s finally inspired me to come up with a replacement name for that franchise: the Washington Spirochetes.

  • Can Mark Penn be far behind?

  • Anonymous

    Raises the question: can Dan Snyder hire anyone who *isn’t* a complete retread?

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      +1 for not misusing “begs the question” in this comment!

  • Jeffrey Kramer

    First press conference:

    ARI FLEISCHER: The Washington football team is not named the “Redskins.” People who say that it is simply don’t know the facts.
    GEORGE ALLEN: Can you call a Tonto-type Indian “Macaca,” or only the Apu-type Indian?
    LANNY DAVIS: I want us to have a civil, serious discussion about this, without name-calling, because you know that ugly slurs don’t help the conversation.
    FRANK LUNTZ: Christ I hate myself.

    • aimai

      No. George Allen “Feathers or dots?”

    • Bravo.

    • masaccio

      That’s fabulous. Especially the Frank Luntz line!

  • Roger That

    Shorter (heh) Dan Snyder: “I’ve heard of that guy!” *opens wallet*

  • cpinva

    dan Snyder is an asshole, has always been an asshole, and most likely will forever remain an asshole. at this point, I’d like to think, if the franchise had remained in the cooke family, the name would already have been changed, gracefully. probably would have been to a couple more superbowls as well. worst thing that ever happened to the team, was being sold to this maroon.

    • Stag Party Palin

      Oh yeah. They’d play their games in Fabulous FedEx Stadium, have a quarterback named Bob “Big Chief” Griffin, and Cooke would spend all his time complaining about how everybody moved to Washington because they hate football.

      Still, it would be a step up.

      • Stag Party Palin

        Yes, I know JKC is dead, but a guy can dream.

  • R. Porrofatto

    several people less respected and more corrupt than Lanny Davis.

    I knew this was theoretically possible but didn’t think anyone would manage to find three of ’em for the same team, and yet, there they are! I have to admire Snyder’s casting director. Can’t wait for George Allen to call someone Tonto and then blow the chauffeur, and for Frank Luntz to invent a loaded GOP-ish euphemism for name-changing: Brand Bigotry? Identity theft? Moniker rape?

    • rm

      Trademark terrorism.

    • calling all toasters

      The Editorials of Northern Aggression.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      It’s the Circle Of Derp

    • RepubAnon

      If the stadium is natural grass, there’ll be plenty of locally-sourced bovine-derived organic fertilizer available once these four start talking…

  • Davis

    At first glance, I thought you were joking about George Allen. I should have known better.

    • efgoldman

      I had to look at the Chait link twice; it reads like wonderful parody.
      Wonder how much those oozing corrupt pustules are stealing charging Danny Boy.

  • DN

    I am so not clicking through to see if you are lying. Lanny Davis just made me have the first healthy laugh in weeks and I don’t want to ruin it.

    DN

  • Michael Confoy

    Calling Lanny Davis corrupt seems to be a little strong to me. If you mean his firm’s representation of unsavory foreign clients recently, that hardly qualifies as corruption. What we see in NJ is corruption.

    • calling all toasters

      OK, can we settle for “a vile liar serving murderous dictators”? It’s a mouthful, but such is often the price of precision.

      • Snarki, child of Loki

        Just call him “Herr Himmler v2.0”, much shorter, same job description.

    • Hogan

      Venality?

    • Jay B.

      He’s utterly corrupt, morally, intellectually and financially. He writes puff pieces for dictators. It might not be illegal, but it’s completely corrupt and an indictment of the revolving door for whores in the DC lobbying/governance complex.

    • Origami Isopod

      cor·rupt
      kəˈrəpt/
      adjective
      adjective: corrupt

      1.
      • having or showing a willingness to act dishonestly in return for money or personal gain.

      “unscrupulous logging companies assisted by corrupt officials”

      synonyms: dishonest, unscrupulous, dishonorable, unprincipled, unethical, amoral, untrustworthy, venal, underhanded, double-dealing, fraudulent, bribable, criminal, illegal, unlawful, nefarious; More

      informal: crooked, shady, dirty, sleazy
      “a corrupt official”

      antonyms: honest, law-abiding

      • evil or morally depraved.

      “the play can do no harm since its audience is already corrupt”

      synonyms: immoral, depraved, degenerate, reprobate, vice-ridden, perverted, debauched, dissolute, dissipated, bad, wicked, evil, base, sinful, ungodly, unholy, irreligious, profane, impious, impure; More

      informal: warped

      “a corrupt society”

      antonyms: moral

  • Matthew Stevens

    Too bad Paula Deen, Michael Richards and Don Imus weren’t available.

    • Breadbaker

      1. I’m sure they are.
      2. Who says Snyder is done hiring?

  • theod

    There are plenty of local DC industries the team could be renamed after: Please join me in voting for one of these: the WASHINGTON

    Corporatists
    Lobbyists
    Scumbags
    Military/Industrial Complexities
    Pentagonistas
    Legislators
    Prostitutes

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      I rather favor the “Washington Racial Slurs” (or ‘Slurs’ for short).

      Just because it’s amusing that DC football fans would adorn their cars with ‘Racial Slurs’.

      • Ernest Pikeman

        Washington Bipartisans. They could have David Brooks as a mascot!
        Stay-Boughts.
        The Security Perimeters.

        Washington Redtapes would let them keep the color.

    • jim, some guy in iowa

      partial to “Monuments”, myself, though that isn’t really a good image for a football team

    • cpinva

      “Prostitutes”

      I think you’re being horribly unfair to prostitutes, they’re the only honest ones in the bunch.

    • Anonymous

      I have to object to you including Prostitutes. I forget who said it, but I agree, “A good prostitute is a socially valuable as a good plumber.”

    • “Immigrants”

    • Origami Isopod

      In addition to sex workers not being inherently dishonest, please let’s not continue to heap opprobrium on a segment of society that is considered to be fair game for violence because they sell their sexual services.

  • Mike Schilling

    Actually, this proves that Snyder’s a genius. I mean, could you find even one person less respected and more corrupt than Lanny Davis?

    • BubbaDave

      Back in the day Snyder was accused of playing fantasy football in the NFL free agent market. Now… I didn’t even know there was a rotisserie Liar’s League….

    • Dan Snyder

  • Ernest Pikeman

    I see the sewer pipes have burst in DC letting all sorts of unspeakables oooze out. Damn you polar vortex!

  • Burt Harbinson

    On a related note, Freedom Industries is going to replace their current CEO with Montgomery Burns.

    • NonyNony

      So they want someone less heartless and more ethical than their current one?

  • dommyluc

    Hey, I’ve got a great new name for the Washington NFL team:

    The Washington Honkies!

    That’d be some great Karmic payback, wouldn’t it?

    • I’m white and a Giants fan and I would totally buy a Honkies jersey.

    • Don’t forget the ‘New York Kikes’ or the ‘St. Louis Wops.!’

  • laura

    To be fair, this sort of thing is right up Lanny Davis’ ally. It’s what he’s there for. But George Allen is such a loud-and-proud racist that consulting with George Allen on a race-related public relations issue is pretty much admitting to your own racism. It’s a dog whistle (albeit to the tiny group of plugged in types who follow this sort of thing.)

    • snarkout

      It’s like inviting Alferd Packer to be a guest judge on Iron Chef. I can only assume that Richard Nixon and the ’76 Flyers were booked.

      • joel hanes

        Alferd Packer Grill: Serving People Every Day

        Friends of mine got the bumpersticker and put it on the range hood at home to tease their Mom, a delightful lady but notoriously a non-cook.

    • Allan’s brother is the GM

      • laura

        I know but how does that make it better?

    • Breadbaker

      I suppose it depends on what you mean by “this sort of thing”. I don’t think there are any examples of Lanny Davis turning back the tide of history.

    • I am not so convinced that hiring George Allen is admitting to racism. I believe it is more to do with Daniel Snyder living in a self-referential bubble. He clearly has an ego the size of a small star system and a thin skin, as evidenced by his ludicrous attempts to sue local newspapers whose writings he does not like. He just seems to me to be..well, unworldly. He appears to have no understanding of how he and his team are perceived in the Real World.

      • laura

        Entirely possible. And I doubt Snyder sees himself as a racist (hardly anybody does). But I think hiring George Allen (though to be fair he hasn’t officially hired him just consulted) speaks volumes to a specific group of supporters who see changing the name of the team as just another piece of awful political correctness imposed on them by the liberal elite etc., and is intended to overtly align Snyder with the sort of people who would vote for George Allen.

  • Rob

    The real question is how Dick Morris isn’t involved.

    • Hogan

      Poor Dick. He must e somewhere crying into a sex worker’s toes right now.

  • Steve S.

    Zorn did roughly as well as any other recent Washington coach.

  • david

    As a life-long Cowboys fan, I would probably switch my allegiance to DC if they changed their name to the Muleskinners (hey, they literally built the damn place) and changed the team song to Muleskinnner Blues. See, you could keep your “‘skins” moniker without much trouble. As Hodgeman says, problem solved and “you’re welcome.”

    • Colin Day

      What about the Washington Epidermis? You could also keep Skins.

    • I would think that Cowboys fans must continue to love Daniel Snyder. He appears to be passing Jerry Jones for the role of “big-shot owner whose ego and ambitions greatly exceed his grasp”.

  • Uncle Ebeneezer

    I guess David Duke wasn’t available?

  • LosGatosCA

    Plus Tom Perkins will be ghost writing all Op Ed pieces to ensure the racist counter messaging resonates with the commoners.

  • Hurst

    I wonder how many people will be fooled into thinking that this is the ex-coach of Washington George Allen, even though he died in 1990.

    • Maybe Daniel Snyder himself thinks that he hired ex-coach George Allen…on second thoughts, perhaps he hopes that fans will not notice that he hired a different George Allen.

  • oldster

    You know, at least they could have hired Zombie Lee Atwater, who would have told them:

    “By 1968 you can’t say “redskin”—that hurts you, backfires. So you say stuff like, uh, forced busing, states’ rights, and all that stuff, and you’re getting so abstract.”

    I mean–why turn your back on the Republican party’s long, long history of folk-wisdom about dog-whistles?

  • Bonnie

    I am an American Indian and the name has always offended me. Just for the record, some people knew I was Indian some did not. However, those who did, on some occasions did refer to me as the “R” word. And, believe me, when they did, they did not mean it as a compliment. That’s how I know it is a slur. I have often said that Snyder’s team will never win because of their name. However, just between you and me, I believe they won’t win because Snyder has proven over and over that he knows nothing about how to run a good football program. But, it would still be good if they changed their names.

  • How much better would it be for the ones clamoring for the ‘Redskins’ to change their name went after the Pentagon for naming serious weapons of killing after Native Americans?

    For instance, the Apache helicopter gunship and the Blackhawk helicopter troop carrier?

    And what about the nuclear bomb carrying Tomahawk cruise missile.

    So tell me, which names are truly more offensive in more ways than one?

    • Origami Isopod

      Yes, by all means, let’s stop talking about this issue and start talking about your pet ones. Also, presuming you’re white, you most definitely get to tell Native Americans where to focus their energies.

  • Origami Isopod

    Has everyone seen this ad yet? If not, you should.

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