Dear National Review, I never thought this would happen to me, but one day I was walking down the street and saw this woman on a Hoveround relishing a chicken sandwich
By Here I have fun with Ben Shapiro’s latest.
Americans were told by the media that Obama’s competence mattered less than the fact that half the country was mean, nasty, racist and homophobic. Todd Akin’s absurd comments on conception via rape were the issue, Americans were told, not the imminent takeover of the health care system; Obama’s sudden support for same-sex marriage was the issue, not his devastating regulatory state; George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin were the issue, not the destruction of entire swaths of the United States via leftist governance.
The only thing that was destroyed by Obama’s election was vast swaths of Ben Shapiro’s brain. Or whatever that was taking up residence between his ears.
And it worked. Conservative Americans, bludgeoned into silence on cultural battles
This is weird. Ben thought it was silence. I thought it was the sound that you heard when you tried to connect to the Internet via AOL in the days of dial-up, only about 50 decibels louder and continuing long after successfully logging on.
2013 marked a turning point. From Chick-fil-A to “Duck Dynasty,” conservative religious Americans found their footing: Whether you are for or against same-sex marriage, it is plainly un-American to override someone’s religious beliefs in the name of your politics. Conservative Americans seemed to realize, for the first time in a long time, that the battle over same-sex marriage came wrapped in a larger battle over religious freedom. And they fought back, and won.
Yes, in 2013 conservatism was like a chicken sandwich wrapped in religious liberty. And it tasted DELICIOUS.
Meanwhile, conservatives began to fight back against the left’s uncorroborated assertion of right-wing racism. While MSNBC focused laser-like on one Confederate flag at an anti-Obamacare rally, those same MSNBC hosts laughed at Mitt Romney’s adopted black grandchild (Melissa Harris-Perry), suggested that someone ought to “p***” and “s***” in Sarah Palin’s mouth (Martin Bashir), used anti-gay slurs (Alec Baldwin), shook down businesses over race (Al Sharpton) and labeled words like “black hole” and “Chicago” racist (Chris Matthews). Race, the right realized, was an obsession only for the left.
I hate it when the media focuses on that one time I wore that swastika. Or that ONE TIME I burned that cross on my neighbor’s lawn. Sometimes I think the media is obsessed with race.
Also: Melissa Harris Perry issued a tearful apology. Martin Bashir was fired. Alec Baldwin was fired. It’s almost like the hosts of MSNBC have lost their freedom of speech!
Sen. Ted Cruz’s government shutdown strategy, right or wrong, highlighted conservative opposition to the state as cradle-to-grave caretaker. American distrust of government, for the right reasons, soared.
My distrust is soaring! Won’t someone it catch it and bring it down here where Obama’s jack-booted thugs can stomp on it?!
So, to sum up Ben’s argument, conservatism is on the rise because
- wingnuts continued to oppose abortion by calling women who have them murderers and whores
- wingnuts continued to watch a reality show about wingnuts
- wingnuts ate chicken sandwiches
Well, I’m sold. Cruz/Palin ’16!!!!!!