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This Is Your Mayor On Crack

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“It’s safe to say the mayor does appear in the video,” Blair told reporters.

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  • Orpho

    My day just got soooooo much better.

  • I saw the headline and had high hopes about an even greater level of Bloomberg v. DeBlasio v. Lhota amusement. Alas, not.

    • JL

      Same here.

      • DocAmazing

        I don’t wanna see Carlos Danger’s crack!

  • Peter Hovde

    Edgy, urban-every mayor should have a crack video.

    • Bitch set him up.

      • Origami Isopod

        +1

      • Marek

        I have a “cassingle” of that song somewhere.

    • Anonymous

      As a native of DC, I have to say it’s not the drugs that are the real scandal. It’s the plagiarism.

      • Steven desJardins

        Drat. That was me.

        • Vance Maverick

          I think you were just ripping off Lee Rudolph above.

  • Get off mah propatay!

  • rea

    I think the country and the world would be much improved if more high-ranking politicians did drugs regularly–although crack might not be the best choice.

    • Glenn

      Exactly. A little MDMA in the water would probably make those Supercommittee negotiations much easier.

      • For really mellow times, some G-23 Paxilon Hydrochlorate.

        • PeakVT

          We already have enough teabaggers, thank you.

          • Rhino

            All three of you are winners.

            • Chuck

              WINNING!

      • njorl

        I suggest PCP for party caucus meetings, and baseball bats. It would be best for intra-party differences, both real and imagined, to be resolved before the parties negotiate with each other.

        • InnerPartisan

          Contrary to popular opinion, PCP does not actually cause violent tendencies – it only reinforces existing ones.

          So yeah, those caucus meetings would be fucking bloodbaths.

          • LeeEsq

            At least it’ll give the janitors something to do.

            • InnerPartisan

              Job Creators, indeed!

      • MAJeff

        I do NOT want to see a touchy-feely Louis Gohmert…and Vitter needs no help.

    • Sly

      Don’t vote for crack, vote for smack!

      • LeeEsq

        But I want to waste my vote on the third party candidate Hashish.

        • xaaronx

          Talk to Ford’s brother, then.

  • Ian

    The war on drugs has finally paid off.

    • LeeEsq

      I thought the payoff was all those very special episodes from the 1980s.

  • Manju

    well, at least he didn’t buy that Sandinista crap. The Police should get off his back.

    • Matt Stevens

      I really, really don’t want to hear Sting’s thoughts on this incident.

      • TribalistMeathead

        Any excuse to listen to The Clash is a good one, however.

        • snoe

          I don’t put that album on while driving anymore. “Police On My Back” always kicks in when I’m getting complacent about my speed. Those guitar-siren sounds are guaranteed to spike my adrenaline.

          Also, to get a bit woo-ish: I think it may be a dangerous invocation to play that song while committing (however minor) a crime*. As with the Pharcyde’s “Officer.” Why risk it?

          * I’m not a speed demon or anything. But part of the problem with driving while Clash-ing is that it feels like you’re doing something wrong.

          • Manju

            I think it may be a dangerous invocation to play that song while committing (however minor) a crime*.

            I would advise you to cut the crap, but then you wouldn’t really be playing the clash anyway.

            • snoe

              I would advise you to cut the crap, but then you wouldn’t really be playing the clash anyway.

              You can go sit in Contrarians’ Corner with Dilan Esper.

              • Scott Lemieux

                As anyone seen Dilan and Jonah Weiner in the same place? They both share the “if it sells, it must be great” fallacy, although in fairness I don’t know if Weiner also shares Dilan’s “if it doesn’t sell, it sucks. Clearly, Matchbox 20 will be far more enduring than Lou Reed” theory.

                • Hogan

                  As anyone seen Dilan and Jonah Weiner in the same place?

                  If you do, get out of there.

      • Don’t smoke
        Don’t smoke so close to me

  • NewishLawyer

    Is there going to be a blog pool about time it takes from now until Rob Ford resigns from office and/or gets arrested?

    That was one of the more dramatic videos I’ve seen when a politician kind of knows the end is nigh but is going to go down with a full fight.

    What are the odds he stays until the bitter end?

    • Orpho

      Definitely ’til the bitter end. Why else would so many of his staff have resigned when the video first came out? Writing on the wall, they saw it.

      • NewishLawyer

        True. He seems like a bitter end kind of guy. When does his term end?

        • ed_finnerty

          december 31, 2014

          • Murc

            Given the glacial speed at which things like this can move, he can probably just run the clock out with regards to being forced to leave as Mayor.

            • Orpho

              And the TO police have even said that the video isn’t enough to charge him with. /sadface.

            • It’s really really hard to force out any mayor of Toronto. I think he might be able to be mayor from jail if it came to it.

              • Can he be forced, by statute, to watch every home Leafs game? He might resign.

              • Tristan

                You’re automatically booted from municipal office if you miss three consecutive council sittings, so being locked up actually would do it after like three months. But unless Ford starts straight-up murdering people he’s not going to get held that long, if he gets held at all, prior to the election. He’s going to run the clock out because I’m pretty sure he’s actually incapable of recognizing anything as his fault.

                His political career will basically be over once that’s done though. I feel confident saying that because known enemy of the people Ford apologist Sue-Ann Levy has written her inevitable ‘I finally believe what everyone else does, but I want to make it clear I am the only one who believes it for the correct reasons’ column, which is pretty much the equivalent of the world’s least-sensitive barometer shattering.

                (do barometers shatter?)

    • Door number three should be a coronary event that ends his career.

      He does not look like a dude who can afford to get stressed out.

      • MAJeff

        The Breitbart empire needs a new King…Ford’s perfect.

    • DocAmazing

      He’s putting in for a transfer to San Diego.

    • Origami Isopod

      What are the odds he stays until the bitter end?

      Aside from what everyone else has said, his diehard teabaggeresque voters would defend him if he ate the liver out of a live baby in front of an audience. So don’t count on him going anywhere soon.

      • Medicine Man

        A quick browse of the comments in the article linked in the OP back up this assertion.

    • Halloween Jack

      Well, he wasn’t caught with the drugs in his hand, unlike Marion Barry, so there’s not really anything that they can arrest him for, just as you can claim that the hand-rolled cigarette that you were toking on was really a cigarette or the injection that you were giving yourself was Vitamin B; once the drug leaves your system, that’s it.

  • Jerry Vinokurov

    There are no lulz big enough.

  • LeeEsq

    How do you say in crack cocaine truth in Latin?

    • Origami Isopod

      In benzoylmethylecgonino veritas.

      • efgoldman

        In benzoylmethylecgonino veritas.

        And the intartoobz are won for the rest of the week.

  • laura

    Another betting pool: will Ford be arrested in the next month?

    • Origami Isopod

      Can we set up side betting pools for his brother and sister?

  • Origami Isopod
    • Origami Isopod
      • laura

        He’s in shock. He’ll resign within the week imo.

        • Leeds man

          Mayor Harkonnen is made of sterner stuff.

          • laura

            From wikipedia:

            “As ruthless and cruel as he is intelligent and cunning, the Baron’s greatest skill is his talent for the subtle and clever manipulation of others through their weaknesses or his understanding of human nature.”

            Yeah, I don’t think so. Physical resemblance isn’t enough.

  • Why should he resign, anyway? So there is some evidence of him smoking crack. It’s not a big crime, nor has he been convicted of it yet. Nor is he really all that blackmailable cause he clearly doesn’t give a shit.

    *puts on crazy grandpa voice* This is political correctness run amok I tells ya! In my day, the mayor would smoke crack right on his front porch and nobody gave a whistle! Now it’s all safety this and committee that! *end crazy grandpa voice*

    I don’t really even want Ford to resign. He’s a terrible mayor, true, but really, the mayor of Toronto is not that powerful, and he provides more entertainment than all the other so-called politicians all together.

    • Halloween Jack

      Why should he resign, anyway?

      Well, there’s this crazy idea that government should actually be doing something useful, an idea that, get this, Rob Ford himself cruised to office on, with all his fulminating about the “gravy train” and whatnot.

      If you really consider that to be entertainment, you can still rent Chris Farley’s movies, which in aggregate represent Ford’s style and level of competence about as well as anything.

      • Look, don’t get all sanctimonious sam on me here. I know he’s a bad mayor. But being bad for your constituents and a general embarrassment is not grounds for resignation. If it were, a whole lot more people than Rob Ford would be resigning.

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