Home / General / Worst. Defense. Of. Gun. Control. Ever.

Worst. Defense. Of. Gun. Control. Ever.


There’s a reason that Bob Beckel’s job is to represent “liberals” on Fox News. On the off-chance that he stumbles onto a progressive position you can be sure he’ll defend it so incompetently Roger Ailes will be very happy he’s nominally not on his side.

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  • elm

    Give Beckel this, he managed to get four conservatives to agree that date rape is rape and that it is a real problem and that it is the man’s fault and not that the woman provoked it or was asking for it. That’s quite the accomplishment!

    • That’s what amused me. Eric Bolling? Really?

    • sharculese

      Seriously, my first thought when I saw that was ‘isn’t that a thing conservatives generally agree with?’

    • I don’t think I’d be able to handle it if the monkeys at Twitchy went after Beckel for this.

    • Speak Truth

      I understand rape happens.

      I also understand the need to defend oneself.

      What I don’t understand is the liberal position that women shouldn’t have the right to defend themselves.

      • Malaclypse

        Agreed. All women should have the right to take off and nuke men from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

        • Speak Truth

          Hey, if you can’t answer the question, why don’t you give someone else a try?

          Anyone got a real answer?

          • Malaclypse

            Keep fucking that chicken, Jennie dearest.

            • Keaaukane

              Is chicken the new walrus?

              • wjts

                The old walrus.

          • Auguste

            Why should we answer a begged question?

          • cpinva


            “What I don’t understand is the liberal position that women shouldn’t have the right to defend themselves.”

            of course, no one said any such thing, so no response is required. now, go back to your cave, and finish those lovely pancakes, before they get cold.

            • Speak Truth

              Suggestions for defense against rape?

              Got any?

              • Richard

                Listen, you fucking piece of shit, if you were interested in anything other than trolling you could answer your own question. My daughter has taken classes in self-defense and has taught those classes. If a would be rapist gets near her, she knows the techniques to kick them in the groin and then shove their nose cartilage back into their head. Despite this, there is no guaranty that she would not be overwhelmed by a rapist. And the same would hold true even if she had a gun since she is not going to be holding the gun in front of her, aimed and ready, at every time she could be accosted.

                A few days before the Super Bowl, one of her best friends was walking from her car to her house in the Garden District. Three teenagers seized her from behind, abducted her, rode around New Orleans raping her several times, forcing her to withdraw money at an ATM and then stealing her car when they dropped her back. It made all the news outlets in New Orleans and the perpetrators have been arrested. Having a gun wouldn’t have helped her at all. The three guys could have easily overwhelmed her before she had the chance to pull it from her purse and pull the safety. Arming more people isn’t going to stop crimes like this.

                But you obviously don’t give a rat’s ass about victims of crime. You just want to make your stupid points about “liberals”. Let me say it again – fuck you and your kind.

                • Speak Truth

                  Seems like you’re still wanting to make that decision for her instead of allowing her to make her own decisions.

                  If she doesn’t want to carry a gun, then GREAT! I just want to see the women have the choice.

                  You’re anti-choice.

                • You’re objectively pro-rape unless you grant women the unrestricted right to shoot anyone they see at any time, as a preemptive defense. It’s the only way to be sure.

                • sharculese

                  Yeah, cupcake, this is why everyone can tell you’re not actually serious about rape prevention.

                • William Berry

                  “And the same would hold true even if she had a gun since she is not going to be holding the gun in front of her, aimed and ready, at every time she could be accosted.”

                  Exactly. Excepting cases of date-rape in which the victim might be intoxicated or otherwise drugged, rape is almost always a sudden, brutal surprise. A rape victim with a gun on her person is just more likely to be shot by the rapist— with her own gun.

                  WRT to the resident super-troll, it seems fairly obvious that he/she/it (say it fast and it sounds just like what he regularly does all over this blog!) is just a right-wing nutbag. But he is so good (and I mean just in the sense of paradigmatic) at what he does, I have come up with a new theory. He is actually a decent liberal fellow who posts to make everyone here, with their sense of humor and liberal intelligence (is there any other kind?), look good by comparison.

              • Jon H

                A liberal application of pancakes.

              • Liam

                Pepper spray.

              • calling all toasters

                As long as you’re hear, perhaps you could explain the conservative position that rape creates jobs.

                • calling all toasters


              • Yes:

                Men should stop raping people.

          • efgoldman

            Let pancakes go stale, then you can weaponize them.

            • Bill Murray

              you just need to sharpen the edges like the Flaming Carrot did with pizza (or perhaps a pizza box, it’s been a couple years and I’m officially old)

      • spencer

        Yeah, because owning guns sure helped Nancy Lanza defend herself. Why, without her guns, she might not be alive today.

        • Speak Truth

          Shorter Spencer Channeling Clayton Williams: “‘If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it.”

          • cpinva

            think of england.

            • Speak Truth

              A hand-picked team from CO19, the Metropolitan Police’s elite firearms unit, will walk the beat in gun crime hotspots where armed gangs have turned entire estates into “no go” zones.

              Local politicians and anti-gun campaigners have reacted with anger at the news that the officers will carry Heckler & Koch MP5 submachine guns – capable of firing up to 800 rounds-per-minute – and Glock semi-automatic pistols.

              • Uncle Kvetch

                Well, that’s certainly relevant. Have some more pancakes.

                • sharculese

                  Actually Obama’s policy is to force college quads to relocate of gang zones.

                  Didn’t you get the new issue of

                  Destroying America Quarterly

                  ? There’s a fascinating interview with Bill Ayers where he discusses his process in writing Dreams From My Father.

                • sharculese

                  fucking tags. how do they work.

            • Bill Murray

              but how can you lie there and think of England when you don’t even know who’s in the team?

              • BIlly

                Shirley, you jest.

          • spencer


            But I wouldn’t expect you to understand my point, since you’re a complete idiot.

            Just in case, though, my point is this: You nimrods like to talk about how more guns will keep everyone safer. Nancy Lanza is a good example of a woman whose ownership of guns did not keep her safe from harm. Indeed, it was her ownership of those guns that cost her her life.

            Oh. The irony of it.

      • What I don’t understand is the conservative belief that rapists should be armed.

        • john (not mccain)

          conservatives believe they have a right to defend themselves from their victims.

      • elm

        Everyone should (and does) have the right to defend themselves. Your problem is your belief that having more guns in society would make it easier for people to defend themselves, rather than it making no difference (or maybe even making it harder) in the aggregate while increasing other negative outcomes, like accidents or collateral damage.

        • Speak Truth

          Well, SHIT. The police have it all wrong, then!!

          What a bunch of dumbasses! They should have checked with you first.

          • cpinva

            not really,

            “Well, SHIT. The police have it all wrong, then!!”

            no police dept. that i’m aware of has ever suggested that women, either on college campuses, or elsewhere, arm themselves with guns, for self-protection. the exact opposite: they suggest mace, a loud whistle, walking in pairs, being aware of your surroundings, self-defense courses (judo, karate, etc) etc. the reason they don’t suggest guns, is because the odds are great that they’ll be taken and used against you, assuming you haven’t shot yourself first.

            my wife attended a predominently female school, in an urban environment, in the early 80’s. she lived on campus, but the campus wasn’t secured, anyone could drive or walk in. the advice above is what she, and all the students were given, by both the city & campus police. we still live in the city, and that advice hasn’t changed, in the nearly 30 years since she graduated.

            • sharculese

              It is worth noting that many police departments are exceptionally wrong about what college students should do to protect themselves against rape, but not for any of the reasons that Jenny is pretending to care about.

          • The police don’t carry guns for self-defense. They carry them to allow them to subdue, disarm, or shoot others in the process of enforcing the law and keeping the peace, not merely protecting themselves.

            Since police get shot and otherwise assaulted all the bloody time, looking to their habits to minimize one’s chances of being harmed by an assailant is really, really stupid.

        • efgoldman

          Your problem is your belief…

          I don’t think it has any genuine beliefs, except maybe it doesn’t like pancakes.

      • Gepap

        So a woman (or any person) can only defend herself with a gun? That is news to me.

        • sharculese

          Can you name another object that is as shiny and good for compensating massive insecurity?

          • Malaclypse

            Muscle cars from the 70s.

            • njorl

              Ford was admirably providing adequate male compensation as early as 1968 with the Mustang gt500. Then there was the ridiculous overcompensation of the 1969 GTO, the male equivalent of FF breast implants.

              • sparks

                Dodge Charger Daytona, Plymouth SuperBird fit here, too.

                • Kurzleg

                  That Plymouth Superbird is BOSS!!!

          • BigHank53

            Expensive champagne. $4000 watches. Diamonds. Trophy wives.

          • Can you name another object that is as shiny and good for compensating massive insecurity?

            A balding hedge fund manager’s fourth wife.

            • Njorl

              Wait, if it’s shiny, that means the wife is the one who’s balding.

        • Speak Truth

          So a woman (or any person) can only defend herself with a gun?

          If not a gun, what would you suggest as a defense?

          • Liam

            Pepper spray

      • sharculese

        The more pressing question is why you can’t accept any solution where you don’t get to play desperate sadsack vigilante.

        • Speak Truth

          The more pressing question is why you can’t accept any solution where you don’t get to play desperate sadsack vigilante.

          What solution are you proposing?

          • Malaclypse

            One that involves pancakes, with genuine New Hampshire maple syrup.

          • Liam

            If only there was some kind of magical potion that caused incapacitation in a less-than lethal manner. Perhaps in an aerosol spray.

      • sharculese

        I understand rape happens.

        Also, no. Rape doesn’t ‘happen’. Rape is perpetrated. By rapists. This statement indicates that you don’t actually understand, you’re just pretending to because you suddenly find it rhetorically convenient.

        • Speak Truth

          No, I’m with you.

          Bad people. Very bad people exist and will hurt you.

          I’m with you on this.

          • sharculese

            Nope. Framing everything in toddler-esque bogey man terms makes it clear that not only do you not understand, you have no interest in understanding.

            • Speak Truth

              Still haven’t offered up a better defense to rape.

              I’m listening and wanting to hear your suggestion(s)…

              • sharculese

                Not understanding the discussion doesn’t mean you get to change the subject, no matter how frustrated and insecure you might feel about your laziness and ignorance.

                • Speak Truth

                  shorter sharculese; “I have no real answer.”

                  I was just raggin’ ya’. Havin’ some fun at your expense.

                  There’s really no good alternative to firearms. If there were, professionals such as military and police would be using them instead.

                • sharculese

                  Not taking you seriously is not the same as not having an answer, kiddo.

                  But just to be clear, you are saying peace officers are perfectly analogous to civilians? Because that is a new depth of stupid, even for you.

                • Malaclypse

                  Because that is a new depth of stupid, even for you.

                  I must disagree. Jennie is often even more stupid than that. Really, that was just about average for him.

                • spencer

                  There’s really no good alternative to firearms

                  … except for the many good alternatives that have been offered in this very thread.

                  Other than that, great point!

              • avoidswork

                Better F*cking Parenting, maybe?

                Real, genuine long-term prison sentences for those who commit the crimes. (And don’t get me started on people who harm children)

                Universities/Militaries/sports-centric institutions NOT covering it up and going to balls to the wall with punishment as though the victim was their own daughter/wife/sister.

              • Just be sure to file the front sight off so it doesn’t hurt as bad when the perp takes it from you and shoves it….

          • Liam

            You know when you said

            There’s really no good alternative to firearms. If there were, professionals such as military and police would be using them instead.


            Pepper spray, which btw also burns the human junk when applied topically. Pretty hard to rape with burning junk. Obviously you retract all your related statments in light of this glaringly obvious answer, right?

            • Speak Truth

              Cops someitmes carry pepper spray, but it’s not effective on everyone. They also may carry a baton.
              But they haven’t substituted any of these for firearms.

              It must be irritating to you to have to take one position on how horrible rape is and how bad a crime against persons it truly is (which I also believe) and then take the position that you should restrict women from choosing the most effective and proven defense available.

              I don’t have that problem. I want women to have choice. I’m not trying to restrict anyone’s choice.

              you are

              • sharculese

                It is frustrating that we can’t solve problems by stuttering ‘gun’ mindlessly at them, I’ll give you that.

                The alternate reality you live in seems a lot simpler.

      • JL

        While there are certainly people who think that nobody should be able to have any sort of gun at all, that is not the mainstream liberal position. The mainstream liberal position does worry abut the rapist having easy access to guns too, though. The mainstream liberal position, AFAIK, is also okay with women having mace or taking self-defense classes.

        The thing is, though, most rapes, aren’t by strangers in the bushes (speaking both from data and from my experience as a rape crisis counselor here). They’re by people that the victims thought loved them or thought were their friends. They’re by family members. They’re by people who drug the victims’ drinks, or deliberately get them drunk so they won’t resist. They’re by people who gained your trust. They’re by people in a position of power over you who might have more social credibility than you – your coach, your teacher, your priest, your therapist, your father. A gun doesn’t do any good for someone who is drugged, and it would be pretty hard for a lot of people to use lethal force on someone who they’d cared about until then, who might be a family member, even in a rape situation. And of course, if the rapist manages to get the gun, you’re in an even worse situation than you were to start with.

        • Speak Truth

          Access to guns are a civil right as recently reaffirmed by SCOTUS.

          A right is not really up for grabs. It doesn’t have to be justified. That’s what makes it a right.

          Deal with it.

          If a woman wants to carry a gun and she’s otherwise qualified (not crazy or felon), then I want *her* to make that decisions for herself as a free person and not have those who think they know what’s best for her foisting their ideology on her. It’s called freedom and rights.

          Don’t wanna carry a gun? Don’t

          • sharculese

            The same opinions affirm the constitutionality of reasonable restrictions on gun argument, and yet here you are throwing a panicky tantrum about exactly that.

            It helps to know what you’re talking about before you start screeching about SCOTUS, kiddo.

            • Speak Truth

              I’m all for reasonable restrictions…and we have reasonable restrictions already.

              We restrict lawful ownership to those who are not crazy or with criminal backgrounds.
              We restrict machineguns and destructive devices only to certain individuals that qualify for them.

              That being said, I don’t see the reasonableness of restricting an otherwise qualified person the right to bear arms arbitrarily in one public place, but not others simply because others don’t approve of her exercising her civil rights…

              • sharculese

                This changes the patent incorrectness of your invocation of Heller how?

                • spencer

                  He doesn’t know what that means.

          • Malaclypse

            Access to guns are a civil right as recently reaffirmed by SCOTUS.

            Like most rights, the Second Amendment right is not unlimited. It is not a right to keep and carry any weapon whatsoever in any manner whatsoever and for whatever purpose: For example, concealed weapons prohibitions have been upheld under the Amendment or state analogues. The Court’s opinion should not be taken to cast doubt on longstanding prohibitions on the possession of firearms by felons and the mentally ill, or laws forbidding the carrying of firearms in sensitive places such as schools and government buildings, or laws imposing conditions and qualifications on the commercial sale of arms. – Antonin Scalia

            Man, cracker is one dumb-ass cracker.

            • You know things are screwed up when Scalia sounds like the voice of reason in the room.

          • redwoods

            Interesting. You read none of that reply.

            • njorl

              It’s not surprising. The whole “pancakes” business is because of this behavior.

              He was repeatedly made the fool, but would ignore the arguments made against him. He would then make the same arguments again in another thread, knowing full well that he had already been refuted. He is fundamentally dishonest and unworthy of dialog.

              The pancakes bit is very good. It’s tempting, when he says something repugnant and easily refutable to engage him, but it does no good.

              Just give him pancakes until he creates yet another pseudonym which will gain the benefit of the doubt until we recognize him again for what he is.

              • Uncle Kvetch

                until he creates yet another pseudonym

                He/she/it uses multiple pseudonyms simultaneously, no matter how many times it’s pointed out. Just further evidence of what a pathetic little shitweasel we’re dealing with here.

          • A right is not really up for grabs. It doesn’t have to be justified. That’s what makes it a right.

            Please go yell “Fire!” in a crowded theater, and let us know

          • spencer

            A right is not really up for grabs. It doesn’t have to be justified. That’s what makes it a right.

            So you’ll shut the fuck up about abortion now, then?

      • What I don’t understand is the liberal position that women shouldn’t have the right to defend themselves.

        Which part of “A gun is ten times more likely to be used AGAINST a woman than in her defense” is unclear to you?

        • Malaclypse

          Which part of “A gun is ten times more likely to be used AGAINST a woman than in her defense” is unclear to you?

          All of it. Jennie is not one of the borderline-clever trolls.

          • Smaller words, then?

            • Bill Murray

              There are 8 words of two or fewer letters already

      • wengler

        I understand that if a woman doesn’t carry a gun, you will call her a willing victim.

        • Bingo.

        • Now wait! The body has a way to shut that thing down!

          I just wish Jennie’s body had a way to shut her mouth down.

  • wengler

    Fox News hired Kucinich, right?

    Are they going to use him or just throw stuff at him when they are angry? All these other Colmes-type commentators are never heard of before they get hired or after they leave.

    • rea

      I suspect they are paying him to keep him off the air.

    • Jon H

      He’s been on, I think he was on O’Reilly recently.

    • JKTHs

      I think they did it for the views and attention when the inevitable wild exchange happens on the teevee.

    • He’s probably there to be the equivalent of the Washington Generals – same as Alan Colmes was.

  • Todd

    Gotta imagine the faces are melting at FoxNews today over the Domenici-Laxalt love child.

    • BigHank53

      After the war crimes and constitutional violations they’ve managed to forget, a senator’s illegitimate child will be gone in less time than it takes for coffee and a donut.

      • sharculese

        Unfair. They remember every single one of those and they still get a little misty eyed thinking about them.

    • William Berry

      I am actually vaguely optimistic about what is going on at Fox/ Newscorp. The Rupert is fading fast. There is, I believe, a power struggle going on behind the scenes involving the progeny and Wendy. Wendy is a liberal. Much depends on the old bastard’s will.

  • Malaclypse

    Subtext remaining text, sweetest. You know, God loves you just the way you are, no matter what your daddy told you growing up.

  • Jon H

    I can only suspect that he was thinking of “campus” as meaning “classrooms”, as opposed to thinking of it as meaning the entire spectrum of locations connected to a college, such as dorm rooms, team buses, frat houses, etc.

    Not that sex never happens in classrooms. (Or offices, right SEK?) And where sex can happen, rape can happen.

  • Winchy


    No Gun Registration! No Gun Gonfiscation!


    Just remember this: On February 19th, 1942 FDR violated The Constitution, and ordered the rounding up of over 100,000 people who were sent into camps on American soil — more than half of ’em were American Citizens.

    It. Happened. In. America.

    The federal government imprisoned its own citizens without trial, without suspicion, without due process of law and without evidence.

    The federal government also dispossessed them of every worldly thing they owned that was not carried in their hands at the time they were rounded up.

    Now you understand why so many Americans will stick to their guns.

    • Linnaeus

      And yet armed Americans didn’t intervene to stop it. Wonder why?

      • MAJeff

        Hold it, the armed conservative crackers on the West Coast didn’t stop a program they favored and pursued?!?!


    • wengler

      If only those Japanese-Americans on the West coast had been armed! Then no one would’ve messed with them! Especially not armed white people and the US Army.

    • They don’t need gun registration. Soon they’ll just have a drone watching to see who comes out of the gun shops.

      Hey, if you’re not doing anything wrong you don’t have anything to worry about, right?

  • I love the Dadaism of reading responses to deleted trolling. It’s nearly perfect humor.

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