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Morris And Morgan


A match made in hack heaven.

I wish I could say, having proven himself too much of a transparent con artist even for Fox News, that Morris’s days as a well-compensated TV pundit were over. But my guess is that CNN is keeping a chair warm for him.

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  • c u n d gulag


    I’d love to see a good “chair war” over at CNN. :-)

    Maybe in the opening salvo of it, someone can crack Wolf over his head, and rid us of his presence.

    • MikeJake

      Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

    • So long as Wolf Blitzer is there, I know there is no reason to watch CNN. It’s just him; it’s what the fact that he is still there says about the people running CNN.

      • The Dark Avenger

        “But we’ll have to leave it there……………”

      • Anonymous

        But he’s super smart.

  • c u n d gulag

    Well, Scott, you might as well eliminate my comment, since it makes me look like a clueless idjit – and that’s something I don’t need any help with, ok? :-)

    • Scott Lemieux

      Nah, typos should be preserved in comments for posterity! ;)

      • c u n d gulag


        .!.. YOU! :-)

      • DocAmazing

        (sic) ‘im, Scott!

      • efgoldman

        Besides, adding an edit function is too much work.

        • c u n d gulag

          Uhm, Scott’s “wink,” was a tell.

          HE made the typo, when he wrote in his original post, “chair war,” instead of ‘chair warm.’

          That skunk got to edit his ‘Whoops,’ which us schmuck commenters can’t do, and made me look like even more of an idiot than usual.

          Thanks a lot, Scott!
          Good gag – I can’t say that I blame you for pulling it. :-)

          • Bill Murray

            that’s why you copy and block quote the material

  • LosGatosCA

    I’ve come to the conclusion that pundits fall into three ‘value’ categories:

    1. To reinforce your prejudices (Faux News, ‘The Villagers’, Broderism, etc.)
    2. To raise your anxieties (Faux News, ‘Deficit scolds’, etc.)
    3. Make you feel better about yourself, since clearly the moron getting paid big bucks knows next to nothing more than the average SpongeBob viewer does about whatever the subject at hand happens to be.

    Some pundits are able to do all 3 at the same time (Steve Doocy) and that’s their special gift.

    Dick Morris was more of a type 1 pundit until it became clear that he has actually become a type 3 but so bad that he actually sank below the effective IQ of the average pet dog sitting next to the average SpongeBob viewer. There’s a floor to how stupid a type 3 pundit can be. After all there’s not much ego reinforcement for a viewer if even your dog is smarter than the moron on your TV screen.

    • Aren’t 1 & 3 really the same thing? That’s Limbaugh’s schtick: he assures his audience that being an ignorant bigot is not only being a True & Patriotic American, but that it’s also a lot of fun!

      And a category of pundit missing from the list is the Resolute Defender of the Ruling Class. The ones who are set on default Republican, default Military, and default Rich People. For example, professional athletes are greedy and morally suspect; team owners are hard-working entrepreneurs who are involved in professional sports because they are civic-minded, care about the community, and want to create jobs.

      • LosGatosCA

        Not exactly. One of every person’s prejudices is that at least I’m smarter than X and/or at least I’m good at Y. So in that sense the types can overlap but that’s not the main point of reinforcing the prejudices in type 1. Type 1 is telling chocolate lovers that chocolate is by far the best flavor or hating on this group is a good thing based on say the Bell Curve. You may actually feel inferior to the messenger if it’s a Nobel Prize winner delivering it , for example. But you still get the satisfaction of ‘being right’ – # 1, without getting the feeling you are superior to the messenger -#3.

        As I said, the types are not mutually exclusive.

    • NonyNony

      Make you feel better about yourself, since clearly the moron getting paid big bucks knows next to nothing more than the average SpongeBob viewer does about whatever the subject at hand happens to be.

      This never works for me. It only makes me frustrated and angry that things are so broken than an obvious moron can get into a position where people listen to him/her. So all of those type 3 pundits operate as type 2 pundits for me.

  • arguingwithsignposts

    No offense, but WTF is Dick Morris doing on Piers Morgan? I didn’t think CNN could reach that much lower to fill Larry King’s seat, but damn if they didn’t prove me wrong.

    • LosGatosCA

      I remember the good old days when CNN just did the news, MTV just did music videos, ESPN only had one channel, and the only readily available porn was in the adult video section at the local unbranded VHS rental store. Plus my 19″ teevee weighed about 200 pounds.

      Now I can watch at least 3 ESPN channels on my 10 ounce iPad, I don’t even know which HD channel MTv is on, CNN is showing sloppy seconds from Faux News, and I get unsolicited text messages from adult sites linking indirectly to free (and paid) porn.

      Is this great or what?

      • efgoldman

        Hey, I’m not the only old fart!
        ::pauses to adjust belt and onion::

        I remember the good old days when CNN just actually did the news

        Small edit for you.
        If Ted Turner were dead, he’d be spinning in his grave.
        I’m old enough to remember when ABC wasn’t a national TV network, and there was no PBS. I was already a young adult when Sesame Street went on the air.
        I moved into an apartment in 1972 that had a “master antenna” (coax) hookup, but my TV didn’t have an input for that. Didn’t work anyway.
        Remember fiddling with the UHF loop antenna so you could watch Bobby Orr and the [hockey] Bruins? No, you wouldn’t – wrong coast.

        • expatchad

          Gawd! Together we constitute a major fossil find. I am gratified that I am not alone after all.

          I have moved to SE Asia where I am not laughed at and people are culturally conditioned to actually listen to me when I speak.

          I even remember (and used to work in) LIVE television.

          Can You Top That?

          • Anonymous

            I already said I get unsolicited texts on my iPhone offering free porn.

            But your live teevee experience is impressive.

        • bobbyp

          I remember taking the tubes out of the TV and hiking to the store to test them on that gizmo machine they had, buy new ones and install…working nonchalantly in the guts of a TV while it was still plugged in…how else to tell which tubes were burned out?

          And all TV went off the air at 1 AM when Steve Allen/Jack Paar ended.

          • expatchad

            I have taken enough 2nd anode voltage in my younger years to insure that I will not require embalming upon my demise.

          • i remember watching the first (and only) color episode of perry mason, it was quite a hoo-ha

  • LosGatosCA

    That was me from my not my normal iPhone device.

  • uncle rameau

    I saw the headline and was afraid that the Blue Jays, having hired Jack Morris for the radio broadcast, had added Joe Morgan. Whew. Feel like I’ve dodged a bullet.

    And they coulda had Dirk Hayhurst.

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