I Say “Back to Avignon!”
Well, this doesn’t happen every day:
Pope Benedict XVI, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger who took office in 2005 following the death of his predecessor, said on Monday that he will resign on Feb. 28, the first pope to do so in six centuries.
A profoundly conservative figure whose papacy was overshadowed by sexual abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church, the pope, 85, said that after examining his conscience “before God, I have come to the certainty that my strengths, due to an advanced age, are no longer suited to an adequate exercise” of his position as head of the world’s Roman Catholics.
While there had been questioning about his health and advancing years, his announcement — even by the Vatican’s official account — stunned many. “The pope took us by surprise,” said Vatican spokesman Federico Lombardi, who explained that many cardinals were in Rome on Monday for a ceremony at the Vatican and heard the pope’s address.
As a disinterested observer, I have to say that establishment of a norm of retirement for aging, incapacitated popes seems like an altogether good idea. And also, of course, I like the idea of something happening that hasn’t happened for six centuries; makes me feel special.
Keith B:
February 11th, 2013 at 7:47 am
Just a hunch, but it could be that the Pontiff wants to influence the choice of his successor.
Jameson Quinn:
February 11th, 2013 at 7:58 am
And here I was, starting to feel optimistic.
Jameson Quinn:
February 11th, 2013 at 7:59 am
At least it gives some hope for the SCOTUS.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:00 am
I’ve been trying, and failing, to come up with a joke about the torch being passed to a new generation, one that didn’t have the chance to serve in the Hitler Youth.
mark f:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:11 am
But is Gov. Christie too fat to be pope?
Warren Terra:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:13 am
Good riddance to a truly terrible person. Sadly, he and his predecessors have probably ensured that his successor will be at least as bad.
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:14 am
There’s a tawdry sex-joke here (is there any other kind?), but I think I’ll leave it alone.
Any chance for a more Liberal Pope – one who’s less concerned about sex, both hetero and homo, and lady parts, and more concerned about teaching Christ’s message of peace and love?
Also on who might decide to really come down on the past sexual abuses by the Priests and laity?
I’ll do the SATSQ’s myself, thank you!
NO!!!
BigHank53:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:16 am
Maybe if they’re busy passing the torch they’ll take a break from setting fire to themselves and the reputation of the institution.
Mrs Tilton:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:18 am
He never did fully recover from that fight with Yoda.
[Yes, of course that's stolen. I shall go on stealing it at every opportunity.]
Bijan Parsia:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:21 am
I’m kinda hopin he’s trying to avoid being indicted while pope.
(Yes yes, I know it’s not where near probable, but I can hope.)
Jeff R.:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:22 am
When Benedict was elected in 2005, only two of the 115 cardinal electors were not appointed by John Paul II. And for upcoming conclave, the all will have been appointed by JP II and Benedict. What more influence could you want?
Plus both John Paul and Benedict have much more theologically and ideological pure in appointing bishops and cardinals. I don’t think there’s another John XXIII out there.
(Benedict himself and Cardinal Baum, former archbishop of Washington were created cardinal by Paul VI.)
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:23 am
Any chance for a more Liberal Pope – one who’s less concerned about sex, both hetero and homo, and lady parts, and more concerned about teaching Christ’s message of peace and love?
Well, there’s always the chance of a miracle . . .
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:24 am
Yes, they all want a Pope who’ll still kick around those modernizing DFH’s from Vatican II – even though most of them are long dead.
Catholic Libtards!
Hell, they’re still pissed-off at Martin Luther, and it’s only been, what, a little under 500 years since he nailed his “95 Theses” on that door?
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:32 am
Of course, by propehcy, the next pope will be the last one . . .
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:35 am
Oh no!
I forgot about the RoMayan Catholic Calendar!
Warren Terra:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:37 am
Once in a while a Republican hack appoints a John Paul Stevens without realizing what exactly they’re getting. But Ratzi and his predecessor paid special attention to packing the college of cardinals with extreme conservatives, ultramontanes, and outright nutters – so I wouldn’t hold out too much hope.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:45 am
Dagchester 2013!
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:48 am
Yeah, I’m pretty sure these guys bring Bill Donohue in on a regular basis to lecture him on his Liberal views.
NonyNony:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:52 am
Let’s put it this way – the guys who are picking the next pope were all elevated to the position of “being the guys who get to pick the next pope” by either John Paul II or Benedict XVI. All of them. And Benedict was the former head of the Inquisition (sorry “Office of the Doctrine of the Faith”), so he knows how to sniff out wrongthought in the Church.
So yeah there’s a chance – we live in a probabilistic universe after all. But you probably have a better chance of being struck by a meteor while holding a winning lottery ticket and getting a phone call from [insert favorite movie star here] begging you for a date than we have of getting a pope who is more concerned about peace and love than about sex and politics.
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:01 am
The prophecy is that the Church will be destroyed by persecution during the reign of Benedict’s successor, and sure enough, right on time, here comes Obama with his birth control manadate . . .
Kathleen:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:10 am
Too bad he can’t use the excuse “wants to spend more time with his family”.
John Protevi:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:30 am
How do you say “All your French philosophers are belong to us” in Latin?
Barry:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:37 am
That’s my bet.
Cody:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:37 am
CAN you be indicted as a Pope. What country would do it? Wouldn’t the Vatican have to indict him?
I’m pretty ignorant on the machinations of the Vatican, but I was under the impression they were completely independent. I always assumed he was kind of a dictator with a sort-of parliament overseeing him.
That Other Mike:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:38 am
I think concerns about the reputation of the Catholic church are a bit out of date; that ship sailed, what, a thousand years ago?
Left_Wing_Fox:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:40 am
Unfortunately, the trend last time was to support the growing parts of Catholicism, which followed the much more regressive beliefs. We’re probably much more likely to see an ultra-conservative desi or african Pope than a liberal one.
JBL:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:40 am
Heh :)
That Other Mike:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:44 am
Totus vestri Gallorum philosophorum pertinent ad nos?
Decrease Mather:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:48 am
ESPN is reporting that Lovie Smith is set to interview for the job.
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:52 am
Maybe they will elect on of the Polish archbishops who collaborated with the secret police.
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:55 am
“…right on time, here comes Obama with his birth control manadate . . .”
Pope BeneDICK IVI’s final addrees:
“Everything is always the fault of the ladies and their icky lady parts – am I right?
From “Original Sin,” right up until our Church is destroyed by persecution, EVERYTHING is the fault of women!
And a few altar boys with their big mouths – luscious mouths, so soft and so tender, pliable mou…”
Easy there, big guy…
c u n d gulag:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:57 am
I heard Cower.
Lovie is just the Church trying to abide by “The Rooney Rule.”
Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:57 am
Actually he can, he has an older brother, Georg, who is 89.
Tiny Hermaphrodite, Esq:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:01 am
Next on Politico: How will the new papal election influence Hillary Clinton’s chances in 2016.
Scott P.:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:10 am
Don’t forget the Orthodox Schism!
DocAmazing:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:14 am
“I wish my brother Georg were here.”
DocAmazing:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:16 am
Smart move. There are a number of scandals reaching critical mass, and having the background Ratzi does (Inquisition, Hitlerjugend) isn’t helpful for PR purposes. Next guy will have a Simon-pure background.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:22 am
This is good news for John McCain.
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:29 am
Next guy will have a Simon-pure background.
They’e going to elect a Quaker pope?
BigHank53:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:32 am
Power-hungry, corrupt, and secretive is kind of a tradition with any bureaucracy that last more than a decade or so. Self-admitted power-hungry, corrupt, and secretive enablers of child rapists is a bit of a new low. Even for the Holy Roman Church.*
*They did stop electing Borgias to the papacy.
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:39 am
God bless him.
I’m grateful that this Pope made clear that Vatican II never actually forbade the saying of the Tridentine Mass.
Novus Ordo Mass is a satanic-inspired heresy aimed at destroying the Church by tearing it into utter chaos, ripping people away from the Eucharist, and ultimately resulting in people being lost eternally to hell.
I love the Church, always will. I don’t agree with Novus Ordo; I HATE it, but I hate it the way a husband hates the cancer that’s killing his wife. He still loves his wife; he would never leave her because her body is riddled with cancer. He might even love his wife more than before, seeing her attack from the cancer. He would want to fight the cancer — anything to get rid of the cancer and bring his wife back to full health and vigor.
The Church has cancer. Bad. Fully metastasized, all over-type cancer. It’s socialist-homosexualism, and the cancer was first observed and diagnosed in 1968. I fully intent to cling to the Bride of Christ and fight the cancer. I should never suggest to anybody to abandon his own parish nor the Church. The cancer ain’t Her Body; it’s just an invading infection.
And Ratzinger was a good doctor.
Thank you for your service.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:41 am
Don’t ever change.
hickes01:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:44 am
Don’t forget Norv Turner. You can’t spell “retread” without Norv Turner.
Alan Tomlinson:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:48 am
Jesus is love.
His followers, not so much.
Cheers,
Alan Tomlinson
Dave S.:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:48 am
You know, the people behind you were hoping for a bit of that Communion wine.
UberMitch:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:58 am
Maybe he can find his old Oberstammführer and meet-up
UberMitch:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:59 am
What’s the Latin word for pancakes?
Mark D'ski:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:02 am
Or maybe, (reference, “The Tudors”) they will elect an English pope. Come on guys, just cause the first one y’all elected went insane (what 700+ years ago) doesn’t mean that’ll happen again.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:05 am
Dunno, but pancakes make a fine communion wafer.
laslo:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:06 am
Already happened. PJII already stacked the deck with cons like himself and Benny before he croaked. Next sets of candidates for popenführer will likely be right wingers. And probably non-Italians.
Uncle Kvetch:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 am
+1!
Mark D'ski:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 am
The prophecy will be fulfilled by electing Berlesconi!
Uncle Kvetch:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 am
Dunno, but pancakes make a fine communion wafer.
Just ask St. Alfonso.
Hanspeter:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:20 am
The host in Western Christianity is generally unleavened bread, while pancakes are risen (heh) with baking powder.
FLRealist:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:22 am
Huh. You haven’t met the husbands my friends have had.
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:29 am
It wasn’t all that clear that there was a John XXIII out there in 1958, but since the Vatican has spent the last forty-five years making sure that never happens again, I don’t expect that lightning to strike again in my lifetime, or my great-nieces’.
Uncle Kvetch:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:29 am
I have a Mr. Gingrich on line 3…
FLRealist:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:32 am
+1
I hadn’t thought of him, but then I spend most of my time not thinking of him.
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:32 am
Or that fine Catholic gentleman, Newt Gingrich.
TribalistMeathead:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:33 am
At this point the best you could hope for would be a Pope who doesn’t make it his main goal to undo Vatican II.
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:33 am
Great minds think alike, but the greater ones post more quickly.
josephus:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:53 am
Wait, the cancer is an infection? So, do I take antibiotics or chemo for my brimming over solshulizt-buttsekshualizm? Inquiring minds (and stricken souls) want to know!
catclub:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:58 am
This is reminding me too much of Miracle Max.
“If he is totally dead, it would take a miracle!”
Richard:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:00 pm
If only. I have a case in federal court where we’ve been assigned to a 89 year old judge, a judge who was appointed to the bench by LBJ and one who. to put it charitably, is not one of the shining lights of the federal bench. He will be on the bench until he dies and theres nothing anybody can do about it.
catclub:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
You reminded me of the name of the cartoon character Ratzi looks like! Simon bar-Sinister of UnderDog.
EliHawk:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Democrats are already freaking out that Scott Brown may run in papal special election; beg Benedict to reconsider.
JohnR:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
I dunno; all Herr Ratzenberger needed was the thin, twirly moustache and he’d have been good to go. Oh, you didn’t mean Simon Legree?
JohnR:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Also, too, I also, too, like the idea of something happening that hasn’t happened for 6 centuries. How long has it been since a Pope was assassinated, again?
Doug:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
Correct you are.
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
JPII had a close call . . .
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
“He is risen . . .”
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
JPI, by some accounts.
Stan Gable:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Brian Kelly re-iterated that he has no interest in leaving ND and that his trip to Rome was part of a post-season vacation planned months ago.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Holy crap, you’re right.
burritoboy:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:36 pm
To be fair, all high-ranking religious figures in Eastern Europe collaborated to one extent or another under the height of Communism. Glemp was hardly stainless himself (there was a huge opposition movement opposed to him, arguing that Glemp was too much of a collaborator too).
burritoboy:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
The Vatican City is a completely separate and independent state. The Pope is a sort of elected king – the college of cardinals does not oversee him once he is in office, but does elect him to office.
burritoboy:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
We shouldn’t forget that Ratzinger was himself one of the DFH’s from Vatican II.
wjts:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
Dry those eyes, bunky – the last pope Benedict who resigned his office (Benedict IX) came back to become pope again not once but twice! Maybe Benedict XVI can use his time away from the papacy to develop a cure for Ecclesiastic Socialist-Homosexualism Satan Cancer.
NonyNony:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
I know it’s snark, but Scott Brown would actually be an improvement over any of the people the cardinals are likely to actually elect.
Sullivan Hyde:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:43 pm
Omnes vestri philosophi Gallici appertinent nobis.
John:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:44 pm
Adrian IV didn’t go insane, as far as I’m aware. What’s the basis for this claim? And what does The Tudors have to do with it? Adrian IV reigned 400 years before Henry VIII’s break with Rome.
wengler:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:45 pm
You need to find a place deep in Siberia where you can practice your religion freely, like that Old Believer fellow mentioned a couple weeks back.
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:45 pm
I’ll bet Chip is sorry he settled for the Eagles now. No way the Vatican buys out that contract.
Sullivan Hyde:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Actually learned this in school: laganum.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Iwould remind you, sir, that HOLY MOTHER CHURCH is INFALLIBLE.
You have a problem with infallibel mothers?
wjts:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Adrian IV went insane? I’m asking seriously – I don’t think I’ve ever seen a reference to that, and a quick Google search doesn’t provide any.
The Dark Avenger:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:47 pm
Yep, those kids who played guitars at St Patricks’ Cathedral in San Jose, CA, in 1968, were in fact the vanguard of a cancerous spread of ideas like women should control their own bodies and homosexuals aren’t to be despised and told to remain celibate.
Thanks for pointing that out for us, Winchy.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
I have a problem with applications that think I am infallible and don’t need an EDIT function.
Norque…
John:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Per wikipedia, it looks like the last pope to be definitely murdered was John XIV in 984. Suspicions have attached to the deaths of several later popes.
TruthOfAngels:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:50 pm
Taft was not a fat Pope, he was a big-boned Pope.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
Overseeing him ????
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
Absolutely none whatever. Divine airborne pork is a much greater liklihood.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
+10
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
Omnes Phlosophae in partes divisa non sunt?
Steve LaBonne:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:00 pm
I’ll leave it to St. Peter to sum up Ratzinger’s accomplishments in office:
“Quelli ch’usurpa in terra il luogo mio,
il luogo mio, il luogo mio, che vaca
ne la presenza del Figliuol di Dio,
fatt’ ha del cimitero mio cloaca
del sangue e de la puzza; onde’l perverso
che cadde di qua sù, là giù si placa.”
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
One out of of the latest batch of Cardinals is from here in th Philippines, and he is leading a furious attack on the recently passed Reproductive Health billn in the Supreme Court.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
First, where is the Latin edit button?
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
OK, Philosophorum, then
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:09 pm
Only a damned heretic would see the need to translate from the Vulgate of St. Jerome.
UberMitch:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:11 pm
Look at that, learn something every day. Now we just need the Latin for “maple syrup” …
JonP:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:12 pm
Arthritis and child-rape scandals and cover-ups, on the other hand…
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Geeze, we don’t have Winchesters here in the Philippines, and we’re like 87% Roman…
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
The edict button?
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:15 pm
Ibid!
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
You talk to the gardener too much.
Rabbi Yeshua ben Yosef:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Vade post me satana, scandalum es mihi: quia non sapis ea, quæ Dei sunt, sed ea, quæ hominum.
hylen:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:17 pm
Coulda fooled the crepe outta me.
hylen:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
Try again.
Hitchens.
How’s that? Better?
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
He’d do better to tackle Winchesterism, a fanaticism that borders on heresy, even for archconservatist prelates.
sibusisodan:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
These Romans, they go to the house??
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:21 pm
Or Pancakism
Murc:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
I like how you start off with something moderately sane (if a congregation wants to go old-school with Mass, I don’t see a problem with that) to fake us out before going full crazy on us.
Yeah, because how dare the Mass be conducted in a language people can understand! That’s AWFUL. The laypeople might actually become more fully engaged with the church, and then where would we be?
I’m genuinely curious; any of the other masses satanic-inspired, or just the latest one? The Catholic Church has been tinkering with the thing for over 1500 years; which versions are satanic inspired and which aren’t?
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:23 pm
Um, given this news, don’t you have better things to do than posting on this blog? As much as they’d like to, these guys aren’t going to kill you again, so go kick their asses!
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
My thought is for Santorum, but would he take the demotion?
sibusisodan:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
This is beautiful. If only because, in your retelling of the ‘church as bride’ image, you’ve put yourself in the Jesus role. Such lowliness.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:27 pm
I’m fond of Sarum rite, but then I am Anglican.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
!
Darkrose:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Chris Hayes tweeted: “Call me crazy, but I think the next Pope should be someone who didn’t help cover up child rape.Tho,that may disqualify every single cardinal”
Sadly, he’s probably right.
Rabbi Yeshua ben Yosef:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
these guys aren’t going to kill you again
Ahem, my child.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
Well, we DO have a few, but they are pretty old firearms, and they have a tendency to go off unexpectedly. Usually half-cockrd.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:42 pm
EDIT BUTTON! Why hast thou forsaken me?
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:50 pm
There is also that whole sell all you own and give it to the poor thingee that the Popes seem to have lost sight of.
JoyfulA:
February 11th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
Well, it did result in Charismatic Catholics, speaking in tongues, so no one could understand the service. That’s chaos.
Donalbain:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
No English Cardinals.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:17 pm
Winchester woulod prefer Greek syrup.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Crooks and Liars has a commenter referring to “Ratz leaving a sinking ship” !!!
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
But why hasn’t it occured to anyone that his physician might have diagnosed a late stage terminal illness from which he will soon succunb? He might not want to compound his death by announcing that. If I were in his position, I would not.
catclub:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
retsina. Pine syrup. aka turpentine
Origami Isopod:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:53 pm
Double that.
STH:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
Why the fuck would you think we’d be interested in your Pope wanking, Winchy?
Cody:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
Seems like someone has read too much Eragon. Latin isn’t the ancient language or something like it. Why should it matter what tongue someone worships God in?
Seems like he can probably “speak” English.
Origami Isopod:
February 11th, 2013 at 2:59 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEn0px0uJZQ
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Yes, I agree.
herr doktor bimler:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:08 pm
they will elect an English pope
If memory serves, that happened most recently in 1904.
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:12 pm
Why does it not surprise me that covering up pedophilia is a time-honored tradition in the Church?
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:16 pm
I know it’s 6 years old, but I find it fascinating that that article uses the term “witch hunt” to describe an investigation that led to the guy admitting that he had been a collaborator. When did “witch hunt” cease having a pejorative meaning? Or was the NYT in 2007 an anomaly?
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
No, just too big to fail.
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:17 pm
I’m surprised that JOP isn’t holding forth on the likelihood that Cardinal Turkson of Ghana will be the next pope. (The lesson of John Paul II and, in contrast, Benedict, being that only a pope with an appealing personal storyline can generate the personal popularity needed to push hyprconservative theology . . .)
(And note also–his first name is Peter, consistent with the “Last Pope” prophecy linked above. . .)
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:19 pm
Novus Ordo is less about language than about the priest facing the people rather than Christ.
That’s the problem.
I did explain it in details earlier.
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:20 pm
Pope Desi? Well, HE’LL have some ‘splainin to do…
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:22 pm
Also: Novus Ordo priests have all but abandoned the Sacrament of Confession, or Penance.
Everything is being done to convince the people that the only sin is
“intolerance” and that Jesus is an effete little puppy — like your neutered pet dog.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
That was Satan’s Big Idea?
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:27 pm
the priest is denying the real presence of Christ in the Tabernacle by the mere fact of having his back on it during the entire mass
as a result, the mass devolved into a show, with the priest as the star.
it cut the attention, the focal point of the Mass, from Christ to the priest
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:31 pm
“Posted Monday, Feb. 11, 2013.” I’m impressed – Hitchens is STILL going strong.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:33 pm
The priest is, per your Iron Age Mythology, facing the Transubstatiated Flesh of the Living Christ, rather than a mere image. Why do you deny the Miracle of the Mass? There is a word for Catholics who deny Transubstantiation, Dagchester, and that word is Protestant.
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:37 pm
Don’t they take a new name as Pope anyway? I’m with the people who want to move beyond the John Pauls and want the next Pope to be George Ringo.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:39 pm
Not too fond of Henry VIII either.
Bijan Parsia:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:49 pm
I was hoping for the international court or somewhere claiming universal jurisdiction.
As I say, it’s more a fantasy than anything. I’m not a big fan of criminal justice esp. as it is practiced in our sorry world, but I’d hug myself with glee to see him do the perp walk.
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 4:53 pm
While the NY Times was shut down by a strike in 1978 (when JPI died), George Plimpton and some friends put out a parody issue that included a story announcing that the new pope had decided to call himself John Paul John Paul I, thus becoming the first pope to take the names of three of his predecessors.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:01 pm
Well, HE’S got a big mouth…
Bijan Parsia:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:10 pm
You just need to comment ex cathedra.
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:14 pm
What are you talking about? I’m not denying anything. I was only explaining to you that the biggest damage of Novus Ordo was to shift the position of the priest during Mass, with the priest facing the people rather than the Tabernacle, even after Consecration.
rea:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:15 pm
The US didn’t have any trouble trying Manuel Noriega for crimes, despite his being a foreign head of state. Why not the Pope?
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:15 pm
Not to be picky, but Lutherans have consubstantiation and variants, which are the same thing (The Real Presence) and they are the Original Protestants. The Augustinians have Apostolic Succession.
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:16 pm
it’s the subject of the thread
Left_Wing_Fox:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
It occurred to me. Both Steve Jobs and Canadian NDP leader Jack Layton were dead within a month of stepping down due to health concerns. I would not be surprised at all if the same happened here.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
If your God cares so much about seating arrangements, He’s really a dick.
Donald Trump:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:22 pm
I’m not satisfied Turkson is a Catholic – he sounds like some kinda Muslim. I’ll give $5m to charity if Turkson releases his long form Baptismal certificate.
MAJeff:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
To clarify, cracker:
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
Ain’t about seating arrangements. It’s about the Mass, and the relation of the priest towards Christ during this liturgy.
MAJeff:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:30 pm
MAGIC! I bet Harry Potter can do better.
Winchester:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:32 pm
I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the question.
And why do you feel the need to use such a disgusting language?
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
The Onion writes one just for Dagchester.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 5:42 pm
And why do you feel the need to use such a disgusting language?
Because we embrace the vulgar tongue.
The Dark Avenger:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Funny, St John the Baptist Church, an alleged Catholic Church, is offering confessions, so it seems they haven’t abandoned it yet:
Jesus is an effete little puppy — like your neutered pet dog.
Actually, some of us take Jesus seriously, as with Elvis, it’s some of the fan base like you that has us on edge.
Speaking of Jesus, can you tell me where in the Bible he came out against gay marriage, abortion, etc? Cause I can’t find anything about that, but I can find the following in Matthew 25, which doesn’t seem important to your version of Jesus:
Karate Bearfighter:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:08 pm
Uno addito.
Bill Murray:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:16 pm
no Pancakism is the sweet, syrupy love of all griddle-fashioned cakes and the humans that swear fealty thereof
Jon Hendry:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:31 pm
No, the generation will be one that was really into Youth.
Jon Hendry:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:32 pm
We’re unlikely to invade Rome to capture a Pope.
Scott P.:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:32 pm
You don’t need to be a Cardinal to become Pope (though it helps).
Jon Hendry:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:34 pm
The next could be Pope Eggs Benedict I
Matthew Heath:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:35 pm
Yes there is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cormac_Murphy-O%27Connor
Hogan:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:45 pm
Hey, it’s his second term. All bets are off.
Jon Hendry:
February 11th, 2013 at 6:47 pm
The Roman Catholic Checkbook runs out of checks this year.
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 7:18 pm
I can see your concern as I am certain you have much to confess and are in need of heavy penance. Sadly, according to Matthew 25, you are going to hell anyway.
Cool Bev:
February 11th, 2013 at 7:41 pm
Learned this in that pasta article. Laganum proposed as the source for the word lasagna.
Carbon Man:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:00 pm
I don’t really have a much time for organized religion. Church services to me seem like nothing but a musical performance/fashion show with some hocus-pocus thrown in.
I will say this for the Roman Catholic Church, though. It sure does make liberals hit the roof in anger. For that, I salute them.
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:02 pm
Sorry, but you need to troll better to keep up with Dagchester. Show some pride in your work, Jennie dearest.
Carbon Man:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:07 pm
It will be funny to see liberals try to savagely attack a black Pope, though. Everytime they do I guess Catholics can take a page out of the Obama Playbook and scream RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACIIIIIST! whenever a criticism, no matter how mild, is made. Also, remember to look for certain “code words”, like uh, “Chicago”. Cause that’s RAAACIIISSST for some reason.
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:32 pm
Thats a good bargaining chip on birth-control insurance.
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:41 pm
Consubstantiation is quasi-Lutheran at best. Luther just didn’t care for metaphor (or Aristotle): if Jesus said This is my body, not This is a symbol of my body, well all right then, was Martin’s take.
Anonymous:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:46 pm
It’s certainly amusing when high-ranked church leaders complain that they have been the victims of a witch-hunt.
herr doktor bimler:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:47 pm
Is anyone lobbying for a US-led invasion to topple this dictatorship and install a new democratic leadership?
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Certainly, no “liberal” has ever dared attack Clarence Thomas, savagely or otherwise, eh, sweetness? What a transparent buffoon you are.
Frank Booth:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:51 pm
Yes, no longer will popes be allowed to say “Chicago” without incurring the almighty wrath of liberals. It’s a world gone mad, I tell you.
Origami Isopod:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:53 pm
Because you’re a fucking piece of shit.
Origami Isopod:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:54 pm
Shorter Carbie: Child rape is funny so long as the rapists upset liberals.
Carbon Man:
February 11th, 2013 at 8:56 pm
Still waiting for your thoughts on the Cotton Ceiling.
It sounds like it could be THE civil rights issue of our time!
Malaclypse:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:01 pm
Shorter JenBob: Pay attention to my obsessions!
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:10 pm
!!
Carbon Man:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:15 pm
BTW, you don’t hate the Catholic Church because of the pedophile scandal.
You hate them because they won’t affirm your particular sexual proclivities and opinions on contraception.
That’s pretty much it. The pedophile stuff is just a convenient stick to hit them with.
NonyNony:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:19 pm
Why is Carbon Man so funny and Winchester so scary?
I can’t figure it out. They’re both nutty as walnut pancakes, but Carbon Man makes me laugh every single time while Chester makes me want to lock the doors.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:37 pm
Which is already resident with him in his mind, poor thing.
He has no edit button eithe4r.
stickler:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:37 pm
Well, to be fair, they did award Henry the title of “Defender of the Faith” for that anti-Luther pamphlet he wrote in the 1520s. And then Henry goes and joins the Reformation, and doesn’t have the common courtesy to return the title. The horse-faced Germans now sitting in Buckingham Palace are still using it, too!
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:40 pm
And use the “Winchy” metric for standardization.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
One is hebephrenic, the other worrisomely intense.
stickler:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:48 pm
Speaking as a Lutheran, I have to point out that the Hussites (Unitas Fratrum, and their modern inheritors, the Moravian Church) claim, with some justification*, that they were the original “Protestants.”
* = by recourse to history, not Faith. Hee.
stickler:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:51 pm
A Christian might also be tempted to ask for a Scriptural basis for calling confession a “sacrament.” Go ahead and look: it ain’t in Scripture.
(“For we know that Popes and Councils have erred…”)
stickler:
February 11th, 2013 at 9:57 pm
Oh, and Penance, too. At least they tossed indulgences on the ash heap of history at the Council of Trent. So, some progress, I suppose.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:01 pm
Cranmer didn’t do to well from it all.
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
You insult shit.
expatchad:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
Well, that too…
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:12 pm
The projection is strong in this one.
MikeN:
February 11th, 2013 at 10:51 pm
Carbon Man has a point. The next Pope will (probably) be an African precisely so that when people start talking about equality for women and gays (and gay women) the conservatives can start screaming about racist liberals trying to impose their Western secular values on Godly upstanding Third World traditional cultures.
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:07 pm
That link goes to a Rod Dreher article about the widespread problem of lesbians discriminating against transexuals at sex parties. So, year, pretty weird obsessions at that.
DrDick:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:18 pm
This one is special for Dagchester (or is it Winchney?).
stickler:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:22 pm
He did quite well, up until the last couple of years of his life.
Plus, he got to be a star of Foxe’s _Martyrs_ bestseller. And, he’s the lead author of the _Book of Common Prayer_. Foundation of modern English, baby!
(Sucks to be burned at the stake, sure, but come on.)
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:44 pm
He has no edit button eithe4r.
I die.
commie atheist:
February 11th, 2013 at 11:46 pm
For some reason, I keep wanting to say, in a Glenda the Good Witch voice, “Are you a Good Pope? Or a Bad Pope?”
That is all.
rhet:
February 12th, 2013 at 12:40 am
because almost everything in today’s Church is a time-honored tradition
DmD:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:18 am
I would take Ghanaian Turkson over Canadian Ouellet any day as there is a small chance he might evolve to be a non-reactionary.
Lurker:
February 12th, 2013 at 4:32 am
This is only true if there is a tabernacle behind the altar. In the St. Peter’s Cathedral, the main altar is in the middle, and the Pope is facing the congregation in Pontifical masses.
As a Lutheran, I don’t really have a dog in this fight, as we don’t use tabernacles. However, in the Finnish Evangelical-Lutheran Church, it has become the norm to move the main altar in the present Catholic fashion so that the priest is behind it, facing the congregation throughout the mass. Only in old churches, where the altar may be heavy (e.g. same masonry with the wall), the priest alternates his direction, facing the congregation when addressing them and facing the altar when praying.
I find the old-style practice more pedagogical, as even a small child can understand: “Now the priest is talking to God, now, to me.”
Stalin:
February 12th, 2013 at 4:55 am
Why? How any divisions does the Pope have?
burritoboy:
February 12th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
Er, we are talking about Catholicism here.
burritoboy:
February 12th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
St. Patrick’s wasn’t a cathedral in 1968. There was no diocese of San Jose until 1981.
rea:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
The historically correct terminology is, are you a real Pope? Or an Antipope?
sharculese:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
It goes without saying that wingnuts will respond to criticism with frivolous non sequiturs, though?
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:30 pm
Seems to have been afflicted with a sort of inverse Somatoparaphrenia where he blamed his right hand for his troubles and toasted it first….
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:35 pm
And said, by some, to be a contender for promotion to head honcho (liturgical Latin for “Reactionary-In-Chief”).
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
My Anglican dogs point out that we started using the new arrangement BEFORE Rome. If Winchester considered the Anglicans to be Christians, he could blame us worse.
Fortunately, he thinks anyone not Roman to be trash, so we are thankfully excluded from his divine approbation in matters liturgical.
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Tengyo! Tengyoverymuch!
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 2:06 pm
Projection or protuberances?
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Oy, wrong threadlette.
The Dark Avenger:
February 12th, 2013 at 3:47 pm
It was St. Patrick’s when I was a kid of 9 years of age, and there were guitars then, sir.
expatchad:
February 12th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
He doesn’t celebrate critical masses. In public.
Winchester:
February 12th, 2013 at 10:46 pm
For the record, I’ve waged a tiny $333 on Cardinal Arinze to become the next Pope, with Ladbrokes, at 7:1.
Yes, a black Cardinal.
Richard Bell:
February 13th, 2013 at 8:44 am
Nazi Germany was a totalitarian state where that which was not forbidden was compulsory. Not joining the Hitler Youth was a punishable offence for any lad deemed aryan enough to be a member.