Home / General / “Next, You’ll Tell Me That Purple Nurple I Received In 5th Grade Wasn’t Worse Than Columbine.”

“Next, You’ll Tell Me That Purple Nurple I Received In 5th Grade Wasn’t Worse Than Columbine.”


Shorter Verbatim Jeff Goldstein: “Obama, silent about union violence in Michigan, immediately reacts to Connecticut school shooting.”

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  • Have to give Goldstein some credit here. We’d all forgotten about him. But he has managed to inject himself back into the high levels of wingnuttery with aplomb.

    • Bill Murray

      He’s a regular Little Jack Horner who needs to go back to his corner

  • Gus

    I worry about him. He is armed and has a history of mental illness.

    • timb


    • rea

      Mocking him on a comment thread always makes me feel a bit like an 18th Century gentleman visiting Bedlam, poking an inmate with a stick . . .

  • MacCheerful

    The comment thread there is a thing of wonder. The prevailing theory is that in a town where there hasn’t been a murder in 10 years the teachers and principal of the school should have been armed.

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      Well, the second point would have fixed the first point.

  • Goldstein who? Never heard of the fellow.

    • timb

      you, sir, are awesome.

      • Thanks.

        This, maybe?

        • Timb

          Oh, I know the history. Whenever I feel like his behavior toward me as a commenter on his blog was poor, I can always remember what he did to you. What a terrible, little sick man he is.

        • sparks

          Ye gods, I was there under one of my many pseudonyms*. Retardo/Mencken took him apart good for that. There’s a reason I called Godlstein “cockslapper” or variants thereof ever since. It defined his penile obsession and inadequacy. Same with Trevino and his childish Star Wars obsession. They were loathsome people then, and I do not believe they have changed.

          * Which was a tip of the silk hat to Raymond Griffith’s character in Paths To Paradise.

  • Kenneth Gladney died was inconvenienced for your sins.

  • swearyanthony

    I have known 2 year old children with more self-awareness and empathy than Glodstein.

    Remember folks: an armed kindergarten is a polite kindergarten.

    • Sev

      Well, it can get noisy for a while, then much quieter

      • Go for the gold, a nuclear Iraq makes for a courteous world.

  • swearyanthony

    Oh and if you want to see another example of sociopathy, instafuckwit is currently running in circles claiming victory. “Heh. Homeschooling. Heh.”

    • mark f

      Doesn’t he have a rather time consuming job and several 24/7 hobbies? I suspect is commitment to home schooling is as principled as his opposition to public employment.

  • tonycpsu

    12/11/2012: WE WILL NEVER FORGET

  • thebewilderness

    Does he seriously expect the President to address the assault on a union member by a Fox News representative at the Michigan demonstration? Cuz that would be awesome!

  • Carol

    it is a interesting that the only person wounded in the so-called union thuggery was a right wing provocateur who got a booboo on his forehead and refuses to prosecute. And this mysterious booboo is the same horror as 26 dead people.

    Reading the commentary in that blog makes a person ill.

  • cpinva

    not even going to read it. i’ve about had my fill of rightwing fuckwits for a lifetime, possibly several lifetimes. i keep hoping they’ll decide to show us just how well that “everyone should be armed to the teeth, then shit like this wouldn’t happen.” would work, by pointing one of their many weapons at themselves, and pulling the trigger.

    sure, it would be messy, but the country’s oversupply of stupid would be immediately culled. that could only be a good thing.

    i’m sorry, that’s probably overly harsh (ok, no, it isn’t), but i am just absolutely ill, and enraged right now. as probably every parent in america is doing, all i keep thinking is “there, but for the grace of (insert your favorite invisible deity here) go i…………”.

    • Karen

      Normally I can read those comment threads with a detached amusement, even when they are spewing their toxic waste on race and gender relations. I just assume that they’re hopeless losers who need to a safe place to rant so that they don’t irritate their coworkers who clearly don’t deserve to have to listen to that sort of thing. With this, they have started gloating about dead kindergartners, which puts me in a blind HULK SMASH kind of rage.

  • c u n d gulag

    Coming soon, to America – a new school morning ritual:
    “Did you make my sandwich, Ma”
    ‘Yes dear.’
    “Did you load my gun?”
    ‘Yes dear. It’s in your holster on your kitchen chair, ready for you to strap on.’
    “Thanks, Ma!”
    ‘Son, before you go, remember The Three S’s.’
    “I know them, Ma!”
    ‘Ok, then recite them to me.’
    “Oh Mom…”
    ‘Don’t ‘Oh Mom,’ me, young man. Recite The Three S’s for me!’

    “Ok, here goes:
    Study hard,
    Stay safe, and
    Shoot straight. Now can I go?”

    ‘YeSSS dear.’

  • Julian

    Is Goldstein widely read or something? Why is he an important example of wankery?

    • You have confused “important” with “grimly hilarious.” But he was a pretty big muckety-muck on the right blogosphere for 5 seconds or so, until Michelle Malkin did to him what Stalinist academics did to J. Otto Pohl — just ask him.

      • timb

        Actually, please do, because his persecution fantasies are wonderfully hilarious

  • Semanticleo

    Goldbrick’s problem is guilt over being a kept man. He’s a stay home Dad who changes diapers while scrubbing his hard drive. Not that changing diapers isn’t a worthwhile vocation, but I think he needs fresh air. He came close to publishing once, but found that porn really doesn’t need dialogue.

    • timb

      He does not like you very much, cleo

      • Semanticleo

        Where were you….lurking?

  • R. Porrofatto

    It’s a shame, really. Underneath his Narcissistic and Many Other Personality Disorders, he seems like a bright guy. Which makes it all the more scary when he decided to become a gun nut that he didn’t just buy a pistol for protection, he went straight to Full Metal Asshole, arming the entire family with high-velocity tactical weaponry, scopes, lasers, and enough jargon to annotate a Gander Mountain weekly circular.

    • timb

      and, then cleaning the guns on the front porch while glaring at the neighbor across the street, among whose many sin was calling the cops with the tiny, angry man across the street started cleaning guns on his front porch and glaring at them. He forget to tell us if he made bang, bang motions with his index finger.

      If he weren’t a spineless twit, he might be dangerous

      • Semanticleo

        Heh. Deb Frisch spooked him handily.

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