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What A Pathetic Operation Tucker Carlson Is Running

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The Daily Race-Baiter tries to come up with the “Whitey Tape” that didn’t exist in 2008, steps on a rake.   It’s impossible for a rational person to understand why anything Obama said is objectionable, but it does indeed reflect the familar conservative trope that noting racial injustice in America is far worse than racism could ever be.

For further amusement, see this particularly feeble Instapundit third stringer — last seen arguing that obligating law enforcement officals to enforce the law in a non-discriminatory manner violates their First Amendment rights — try to sell this with a bunch of “people who are aware of the existence of racism are the real racists” gibberish that concludes with her calling Kanye West “an uneducated, uncouth rapper.”

Still, when it comes to pathetic, nobody can hold a candle to Col. Mustard:

And based on this tease by Drudge, it should be big.

Clearly! It’s important to remember that he really has something big and isn’t playing his followers for massive rubes or anything. And still, the liberal media will supress the time Obama had tuna salad that was made with herbs and olive oil rather than Miracle Whip, which I’m pretty sure is an impeachable offense.

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  • rea

    These guys heard that we were entering a “post-racial” society and decided that meant that they could be as racist as they wanted and never get called on it.

    • R. Porrofatto

      Exactly. Tucker Carlson and his troglodytes are racists. Period. They would undoubtably protest they are not, but their first weapon, whether it’s the white guy blaming black people for stealing his bicycle or this present insanity, is always race. For them Obama’s greatest flaw, and therefore their biggest target, is his blackness. The fact that any human being might be appalled and angry at the racist treatment of New Orleans residents during Katrina is beyond their ken — only black racists could feel this way, therefore, Obama is a racist because he is one of them, in every meaning of them. And when you come down to it, that’s all they’ve got.

      • ianmorris

        NSMB reference FTW
        YTMND was a good site

  • swearyanthony

    Clearly Jennie will be along soon to explain how This Changes Everything. Keep hope alive. Hope and Pancakes.

    • Davis X. Machina

      Hope and Pancakes

      Chicken and waffles.

      • DrDick

        Sausage and hashbrowns!

        • Bacon and bacon.

          • Warren Terra

            And bacon.

            • Anonymous

              Spam egg sausage and spam.

              • Lee

                You non-kosher pigs. ;).

    • JMP

      But but, and this will shock you because none of you could have possibly heard this before, but Robert Byrd was in the KKK, therefore Dems are the real racists!!

      • Holden Patter

        Thus spake DW-NOMINATE.

        • Manju

          Thus spake DW-NOMINATE.

          Moderates are the real racists!

          http://voteview.com/images/polar_house_means.jpg

          • Davis X. Machina

            Wait, if moderates are the real racists….and conservatives are the real moderates…..

            • DrDick

              Actually, they are just the real idiots, as Manju so well illustrates.

              • The Dark Avenger

                He tries to treat politics like it’s a D&D game.

                • Manju

                  Never played D & D, so not sure what that means.

                  But I am serious. You don’t have to take my word for it. Just look at my sources. I’m referencing serious scholars.

                • The Dark Avenger

                  Manju, all you do is try to use the past to argue that Democrats are greater racists than Republicans right now.

                  I doubt that you have any ‘serious scholars’ above the level of a correspondent school who agree with you.

                • Manju

                  Manju, all you do is try to use the past to argue that Democrats are greater racists than Republicans right now.

                  I don’t argue that, which is why you can’t pull a quote of me saying anything to that effect.

                  After all, I vote Dem.

              • Manju

                When I first encountered DrDick, he would say stupid things like this:

                As to Byrd, he continued to vote for civil rights legislation after 1968…

                But now he says stuff like this:

                …nobody has ever denied that Byrd was a racist, but we have said he later changed his mind, which he dates to the death of his grandson in 1982.

                What accounts for such progress?

                • DrDick

                  Once again you are full of shit and have not in any way changed my mind or position. You are an absolute idiot who knows nothing about race in America or American politics. I would also like to see a link to that second quote.

                • DrDick

                  Also that first statement is entirely correct. He voted for the 1968 Civil Rights Act and consistently voted for Civil Rights afterward. Reality is not your friend.

                • Manju

                  Also that first statement is entirely correct. He voted for the 1968 Civil Rights Act and consistently voted for Civil Rights afterward. Reality is not your friend.

                  Demonstratively false:

                  1970 Voting Rights Act

                  Nay [D] Byrd, Robert WVhttp://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/91-1970/s342

            • Manju

              Wait, if moderates are the real racists….and conservatives are the real moderates…..

              …then (southern) conservatives are the real racists.

              But since, in this context, conservative = segregationist…all you are telling us is that racists are racists.

          • JMP

            Sorry everyone; I was just trying to mock the idiots, I didn’t think that would actually bring him out!

            • Manju

              “[Byrd] voted for the 1968 Civil Rights Act and consistently voted for Civil Rights afterward.”

              -DrDick

              1970 Voting Rights Act

              Nay [D] Byrd, Robert WV

              http://www.govtrack.us/congress/votes/91-1970/s342

              Byrd is still in play because leftists still whitewash his history. DrDick knows better…as the very quotes I pulled from him demonstrate.

              This is at least as racist as Tucker Carlson’s idiocy, and completely betrays the message of your original comment.

  • Cody

    If Obama really doesn’t use Miracle Whip in his tuna salad…

    He has lost my vote. I can put up with a lot of issues, but disliking Miracle Whip is vital to my vote. I’m going to help Romney get elected because of this!

    • NBarnes

      Now you’re outraged by Chappaquiddick?

      • Cody

        I Google’d this (as Ted Kennedy’s history hasn’t been relevant to me), and do not understand your comment.

        But I guess I would be upset about Ted Kennedy killing someone by driving a car into a river.

        • Though it would be quite a feat, given that the man’s been dead over a year.

        • Hob

          Cody: I don’t remember the source of the joke, but the full version is “I used to be a liberal, but after Chappaquiddick I realized that [organized labor / homosexuality / secularism / civil rights activism / anything else that has nothing to do with Teddy Kennedy] is terrible.” It refers to right-wingers who define themselves (usually online) as outraged ex-liberals while offering no policy-based explanation for their change of heart.

          • Jonas

            No, it’s:

            “I used to be a liberal, but 9/11 made me outraged by Chappaquiddick”

          • mark f

            It was coined by Michael Berube in reference to those Tom Tomorrow dubbed “the Yoostabees,” the Dennis Miller types who were supposedly Democrats right up until al Qaeda scared them into Daddy Bush’s arms and to “take on every single last one of the Thirty-Nine Articles of Wingnut Faith.” Or simply:

            “Everything changed for me on September 11. I used to consider myself a Democrat, but thanks to 9/11, I’m outraged by Chappaquiddick.”

            • NBarnes

              This, with emphasis on the Berube link.

            • Hob

              Ah right, thanks.

    • synykyl

      I agree. If Obama uses Miracle Whip then he is dead to me.

  • Cody

    I would like the Republicans to bring up Jeremiah Wright more.

    If we’re going to make the President’s Church an issue, that means Romney’s Church is fair game! Quick, someone investigate Romney’s “leaders”. Wait, that’s too in-depth. We can just take some excerpts from his WHOLE RELIGION. Breaking News: Book of Mormon that Romney adheres too says black people are black because of unholiness. Not racist though!

    • njorl

      “Reverend Wright” is an easy alliterative two-word catch phrase that people can use to tie Obama to his old pastor. I fail to see how people could come up with anything that would be so catchy to quickly remind people that Bishop Romney is a Mormon. I think Bishop Romney is quite safe here. Bishop Romney should feel free to encourage his surrogates to attack Obama on religious grounds.

      • Kurzleg
      • Jonas

        Maybe someone will ask him ‘Boxers or briefs?’. Let him try to answer that one.

        • gocart mozart

          +1

    • Some twit(terer) named Lisa, who tweets under the handle “@Flyingright1,” contributes this tidbit to the discussion, apparently intended as a riposte to salon.com editor Joan Walsh:

      If Mitt Romney sat in a racist church for 20 years, I somehow doubt you would think it much ado about nothing.

      I think I’ve grown reasonably adept at spotting parody trolls, but after checking the settings on my irony detector, rebooting and recalibrating the thing, I still don’t see so much as a flutter on the gauge. “The cognitive disconnect is strong in this one.”

      • What, specifically, is their proof of Wright’s racism?

        • Kurzleg

          He’s black, is the proof.

          • mark f

            He’s black and he recognizes that white racism exists has not insignificantly influenced US history. Even Republicans can’t get away with this: recall the outrage when Herman Cain apologetically suggested that there might possibly be something kinda weird about Rick Perry’s ranch being called “Niggerhead.”

      • Malaclypse

        If Mitt Romney sat in a racist church for 20 years

        Mittens was born in 1947. That means he was 31 years old before the LDS church gave full membership to blacks.

        • avoidswork

          And, prior to Mitt’s 31 years of not only an LDS member, but Bishop, there was that whole entire period of LDS history that denigrated anyone of dark skin.

      • Holden Patter

        Poe’s Law is a harsh mistress.

  • howard

    You aroused my curiosity: what would a third-string instapundit have to say? So I clicked the link.

    You overrated her.

    • Scott Lemieux

      Give Reynolds this: it can’t be easy for him to come up with pinch hitters that make him look intelligent by comparison, but he finds ’em.

    • Uncle Ebeneezer

      She just captured the youth vote with her hip Billy Joel references.

      • Hogan

        Fer sher. I’m 55, and Billy Joel chased me off his lawn last week.

  • DanMulligan

    Wow. Cornell law must be one hell of a bargain.

    • Eric

      This guy got into Cornell by singing in the admissions office until they finally admitted him. Maybe Insty’s backup did something similar.

      • Scott Lemieux

        In fairness, it’s Col. Mustard that teaches at Cornell. Insty’s backup was educated at…the University of Tennessee School of Law, which makes sense.

  • Jonas

    Obama lost my vote when he asked for delicious spicy mustard for his burger. Sure, I like spicy mustard, but real Americans eat burgers with ketchup, and MAYBE American cheese, and I only vote for real Americans.

    Also, too, the orange juice incident.

    • Scott Lemieux

      Cheez Whiz, surely. And that bun better have been made in a factory at least three states over!

      • The orange juice was Cheese Whiz?

        (Ever have days when you think you shouldn’t be on the internet?)

        • Jonas

          You’re forgetting your history. The orange juice incident was one of the first clues that Obama was Un-American. He was offered a cup of coffee, and asked for orange juice instead. Real Americans don’t drink OJ, they drink coffee!!! The Pundits were aghast, there was no way this man could relate to real Americans. It’s a good thing he’s black and thereby automatically entitled to the presidency, otherwise his political career would have been over at that point.

          • gocart mozart

            I thought all black people drank malt liqour in the morning. Are we really sure he’s black?

          • Sam 240

            ” Real Americans don’t drink OJ, they drink coffee!!!”

            And, since Mitt Romney doesn’t drink coffee, he’s not a real American either!!!

    • I’ve been 4-sqaure behind Obama since he ate lunch at Rudy’s Hot Dog in Toledo.

      But I am a bit conflicted, since Mittens ate at the Senate Coney Island in Livonia, MI.

      Still, I eat at Rudy’s more often (though I probably like the Senate more) so on balance, I have to vote for Obama.

      Damn, this is hard.

  • njorl

    I suppose this kind of tactic has some value for the right. It gets the racist rubes worked up so more will go out and vote against Obama rather than stay home and sulk. However, the execution in this case was so bad it might backfire. Poor JenBob came here yesterday boasting about the Earth-shaking video which would be released, and now everyone is laughing at her/him/it. It just makes it more likely that little JenBobs everywhere will stay home and sulk on election day.

    • NonyNony

      But look – JenBob got what he/she/it wanted – a response. Some of them very funny, granted, but that doesn’t matter. JenBob isn’t here to do anything but make people angry and, when that’s not possible, irritate people.

    • Richard

      Even Drudge is burying the story today

    • dan

      The purpose of this video/story/nonstory isn’t to fire up the base and it isn’t to influence undecided voters. The purpose is to establish a narrative after the election if Obama wins to explain it as a product of media bias and a lack of vetting. Expect to see impressive charts showing how many media hours were spent on the Romney secret video compared to how many (non-Fox) media hours were spent on the Obama video. See? Ignore the fact that one was an actual secret video saying controversial and offensive things and the other was a long available video saying ordinary, inoffensive things. The raw numbers show Bias(tm)!

      • saucyturtles

        When I was in college, the conservative student group surveyed the college bookstore’s shelves, and proved liberal bias in the curriculum by finding more books by or about Karl Marx than books by or about Milton Friedman. Can’t argue with the numbers.

  • mark f

    I used to be a liberal Democrat, but ever since Barack Obama criticized the Bush administration’s handling of Hurrican Katrina I’ve been very outraged by . . . wait, what?

    • Joshua

      Clearly, Obama should have taken a note from the cartoon right-wing version of MLK Jr. and examined the content of Brownie’s character. Looked into his soul, if you will.

      • Teddy Bear Martin Luther King?

        The one who traveled around the country giving speeches full of patriotic imagery and telling black people not to be violent?

        The one who didn’t organize the first affirmative action effort in American history?

        Yeah, conservatives love that guy.

  • Craigo

    Because if there’s a conversation that Mitt “George W. Who?” Romney really wants to have with America, it’s Katrina.

    • mark f

      If Romney were a more talented politician it might work out for him. It’s a rare area where he could dance far from Bush while still winking at that talk radio “It was really all the Real Racist Chocolate Ray Nagin’s fault” wallflower. Fortunately Romney is not a talented politician.

  • Halloween Jack

    And, of course, Tucker has to double down with a howler like dismissing skeptics of his ooga-booga-mongering as “throne sniffers who instinctively suck up to power.” Pot, kettle, black, as they say.

    • firefall

      Well its the only thing he can claim any expertise in, other than supreme dickishness

      • Sherm

        Well, he’s pretty good at tying bow ties around a giant douchebag — which I imagine is no small feat. So, lets give him credit for fine motor skills as well.

        • NonyNony

          Are you sure it isn’t a clip-on?

    • Joshua

      That’s the point, right? Tucker and the rest of his gang of fools will use this as yet another example of the vast left-wing conspiracy. They know the Truth and they are being persecuted for it.

  • DrDick

    The Doiley Fucker is where the never-has-beens that do not meet the standards of PJ Media and the Zombie Breitbart empire go to moulder.

    • avoidswork

      PJM has standards?

      • njorl

        I’d say, “Just ask Jeff Goldstein”, but I’m not sure it requires standards to reject him.

  • I’ve yet to understand what I’m supposed to find offensive about this tape or the Reverend Wright tape.

    I can see why the wingers get upset, though. They keep thinking “we’ve got him now!”…but they don’t understand that everyone is not of their mindset.

    • mark f

      NRO’s “Most Controversial Quotes from Obama’s Hampton University Speech”:

      1. “Hurricane Katrina was kinda crappy. Kinda really crappy.”
      2. “I like Jesus.”
      3. “People want to know how we can unite and do good stuff.”
      4. “We should help the poor understand professional decorum so they can get jobs.”
      5. “Let’s get kids out of gangs and into jobs.”

      What a nut that guy is!

      • That is Grade A kooky talk.

      • Anon21

        Honestly, don’t even do the “shorter.” Just present the actual quotes that they think will be the most controversial, and then ponder metaphysical questions like whether it’s possible that all the other remarks will begin canceling out actual controversies.

        • NonyNony

          Seriously – look at this one:

          2. “It was also there — at Trinity United Church of Christ on the South Side of Chicago — that I met Rev. Jeremiah A. Wright Jr., who took me on another journey and introduced me to a man named Jesus Christ. It was the best education I ever had.”

          The only things “controversial” about this sentence are the words “Trinity United Church of Christ” and “Reverend Wright”. And they’re only “controversial” to the 27%-ers who live in their own pocket bubble universe where Reverend Wright was the guy who ran Josef Stalin’s work camps.

          I especially appreciate how “controversial” this one is:

          4. “[The poor] may need help with basic skills — how to show up to work on time, wear the right clothes, and act appropriately in an office. We have to help them get there. That’s why I have called for $50 million to begin innovative new job training and workforce development programs.”

          I guess the “job training and workforce development programs” must be the controversial part, because my Republican Dad has been saying something along the lines of that first sentence as far back as I can remember. In fact, I’m pretty sure that that particular observation has been made since the Civil War by Northern industrialists who observed quite often about the “poor work ethic” of the lower classes that they needed to operate their factories…

          • Cody

            Heh. Indeed. I like how the NRO sums up “There will be quite the controversy over these remarks”.

            I really want them to explain what this controversy would be. I guess they have Christians and don’t want to help the poor? I mean those might be true, but I’m doubtful they would say them out loud.

            • DrDick

              Indeed there will be, but the controversy will be over just how big of idiots they are.

          • mark f

            I guess the “job training and workforce development programs” must be the controversial part

            As Jesus taught us:

            Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day.

            But give a small fraction of hungry men a useless voucher for half-assed fishing lessons and you can stop pretending like you give a fuck about poor people.

            • NonyNony

              I always thought it was “give a man a fire and he’ll be warm for the night, but light a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.”

              Republican Jesus always has words of wisdom!

      • commie atheist

        In #5 Obama refers to “5-E Youth Service Corps,” which is obviously code for the Nazi Youth storm troopers that will be forcing white people into concentration camps. Soon. Any day now.

        • Cody

          On the NRO comment thread, someone says exactly this!

          What about his “5E” program, do you not find it very similar to Hitler-Jugend?

          That’s his whole literal support for the controversy. Doesn’t it sound like a Nazis!?

          • Davis X. Machina

            Not enough umlauts.

          • NonyNony

            I’m fairly certain that the Youth Program thing was the source of the “You know who ELSE had an X, don’t you?” meme that runs rampant around here.

            I can’t remember exactly, but I really think it was someone mocking the “You know who ELSE had a government Youth Program don’t you?” tie between Obama and the Hitler Youth.

      • I really like how “that’s just the prepared remarks” handwaves the goalposts to other time zones…. why haven’t they provided a proper transcript?

        Is it too hard?

    • thusbloggedanderson

      I’ve yet to understand what I’m supposed to find offensive about this tape or the Reverend Wright tape.

      Black people. That’s what.

  • Joey Maloney

    I’ve read people joke about this, but it’s really true, isn’t it? Tucker just never recovered from the beating Jon Stewart laid on him.

    • Anonymous

      This.

    • Cody

      OMG, I just read the Wikipedia synopsis of the Jon Stewart interviews!

      After Carlson told Stewart “I think you’re more fun on your show,” Stewart replied by saying: “You know what’s interesting though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.

      <3 Jon Stewart

  • Joe

    For some reason, I’m think Blazing Saddles.

    • Just Dropping By

      The President is near!

      • Davis X. Machina

        Heh. Wait till the first act of Henry V tonight.

  • James E. Powell

    Consider this. I don’t follow the right-wing blogs or news sources. This is the first time I have heard Tucker Carlson’s name in at least two years.

    He knows if he can raise his profile and establish bona fides with the right-wing audience by showing he is willing to stand up to that [insert racist epithet] then he will make some money. Not a ton of money, but more than he would if he had to live off his talent or productivity.

    • DrDick

      He can quite easily live off his inheritance.

      • NonyNony

        Huh. Things I never knew:

        He is the elder son of Richard Warner Carlson, a former Los Angeles news anchor and U.S. ambassador to the Seychelles who was president of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and director of Voice of America.

        So his father was a public servant. Tucker Carlson is a bigger piece of shit than I’ve ever thought.

        His adopted mother is Patricia Caroline Swanson (born 1945), former wife of Howard Feldman and an heiress to the Swanson food-conglomerate fortune.

        And while it was obvious that he came from money, I didn’t know how much.

        Christ what an asshole.

        Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson

        On the other hand, maybe he’s just reacting to the fact that his parents hated him since the day he was born. Jeebus, that’s a name to saddle a kid with.

        He has a brother, Buckley Swanson Peck Carlson

        And for some reason they hated his brother even more than they did him. Buckley? Peck?

        Maybe his parents were just horrible, horrible people. That might explain how he turned out. I wonder if his brother is also a smug, smarmy, over-entitled piece of crap who was born on third in the dugout and thinks he’s hit a triple grand slam.

        • njorl

          He should have gone into the frozen food business.

          • Davis X. Machina

            Or become a law firm.

            • avoidswork

              +1

          • DrDick

            He should have been frozen food (for the fishes).

            • Lee

              Thats a horrible thing to do the fishes.

        • rea

          Jeez, Ambassador to the Seychelles?

          The man must have been extraordinarily unpresentable.

          • Anonymous37

            My guess would be “connected” instead of “unpresentable” — a Seychelles ambassadorship is the sort of plum post for people who want to get paid to spend long periods of time in vacation destinations.

        • g

          Does tucker advocate for the elimination of the CPB? Just curious.

        • JRoth

          God help me, but reading this gave me a taste for Swanson’s Salisbury steak dinner, ca. 1978. That brownie, so crappy yet so satisfying.

          • kth

            yes, real poetic justice would consist of Tucker having to subsist on Hungry Man dinners for a year

        • Uncle Ebeneezer

          Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson

          As in “the sheriff is McNear?” Telling…

      • Holden Pattern

        I expect that’s what he’s doing, both directly and indirectly.

  • JupiterPluvius

    Man, I am reconsidering my assessment of wingers as not being able to find their asses with both hands.

    After all, they found this secret video in its carefully constructed hiding place on YouTube, and it only took them five years!

    • I was watching Anderson Cooper for 13 seconds and the debate essentially consisted of Erick Erickson saying “Address my post libs!”
      and Roland Martin saying ” What the hell?”

  • They are releasing this at 9PM on the evening of the first presidential debate.

    This is an attempt to step on the coverage of the debate, just like rolling out the Palin nomination was an attempt to step on the coverage of Obama’s acceptance speech.

    I guess they don’t have a great deal of confidence in Mitt “Zinger” Romney’s performance.

    • Njorl

      Now I’ve got “Willard M. Zinger killed poor Hattie Carroll” running through my head.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Anyone want to bet when the next “game-changer” will come along?

    And the one after that? And the “really, really big one” after that? And the “no, really, no shit, this time we really mean it, THIS is the game changer!” one?

    Maybe we should just bet on the frequency. I’m guessing that in a couple of weeks, it’ll be one per day.

    • Cody

      Perhaps they’re counting on declaring “Game Changers” is enough to change the game. It probably works with their audience. Republicans are convinced Obama is done, because there was this huge secret video released.

      It’s not like they care what’s in it. They’ll just pretend it’s like a budget Paul Ryan made or something!

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