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Our Future Leaders

[ 124 ] September 25, 2012 |

It certainly seems to me that a huge percentage of our leaders, whether in business, politics, university presidents, or whatnot are former fraternity members. Theoretically sorority members too, but who are we kidding. Glass ceiling! Anyway, the next generation of leaders from the University of Tennessee really inspire confidence in the future…

As medical personnel treated a University of Tennessee student for severe alcohol poisoning from a bizarre consumption method, UT police walked into a drunken scene at a campus fraternity, records show.

Officers early Saturday found several young men at the Pi Kappa Alpha house, 1820 Fraternity Park Drive, passed out in their rooms “and bags from wine boxes, some empty and some partially empty, strewn across the halls and rooms.”

Authorities think Alexander P. Broughton, 20, of Memphis, who had a blood-alcohol level thought to be “well over” 0.40 percent, ingested the alcohol by a method known as “butt chugging,” in which wine was inserted directly by a tube into his rectum for quick and potent absorption.

….

“Upon extensive questioning it is believed that members of the fraternity were using rubber tubing inserted into their rectums as a conduit for alcohol as the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver,” DeBusk stated in a news release Monday.

I don’t know why I even bother commenting on this. But first, if you are going to insert a tube up your ass and dump alcohol into it in order to get as drunk as humanely possible with great rapidity, why would you even bother with wine? Why wouldn’t you buy a bottle of the cheapest vodka on the market?

Second, the image of a bunch of frat guys shoving rubber tubes up each others asses and then dumping alcohol in the tubes does what I thought was in fact impossible–lower my opinion of the greek system.

On the other hand, you have to admit that we have some fine candidates to be solons in the Tennessee state legislature.

….Also, while we lack concrete evidence that Glenn Reynolds bought the wine for this UT Young Republican night of pranks, it would be irresponsible not to note that we also can’t rule it out.

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Comments (124)

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  1. TT says:

    Apropos of the earlier post on sex workers, if you’re going to pay somebody for their friendship, getting some nookie in return strikes me as a much better, healthier, and more enjoyable alternative than alcohol poisoning. And it’s not as if you can’t still run for office, as Mr. Vitter ably demonstrated.

  2. Julian says:

    On the other hand, you have to admit that we have some fine candidates to be solons in the Tennessee state legislature.

    Solon of the colon.

    I take no joy in this.

  3. SP says:

    “bags from wine boxes”
    Ann? Is that you?

  4. why you even bother with wine?

    We must assume tasting was in the offing. Somehow.

  5. DrDick says:

    FWIW, the Aztecs and some other Mesoamerican Indians used a similar technique to induce a trance state and hallucinations, though with the much lower alcohol pulque and corn beer. On the other hand this is pretty much what I would expect of the Greeks.

  6. Vance Maverick says:

    “Humanely” is not the adjective that came first to my mind. I suppose it’s a slippery continuum from kegstands to hazing.

  7. Sherm says:

    why would you even bother with wine?

    Resveratrol?

  8. Hob says:

    Well over .4%? Jesus Christ, that idiot is lucky to be alive.

    As a point of reference, a blood alcohol level of .4% is about what a 180-pound guy would get from drinking eighteen (18) beers in half an hour.

  9. Clark says:

    At least we can brag on our Football. . ., oh, wait. We have a top notch law faculty. Shit, forget it.

  10. Chet Manly says:

    Why wouldn’t you buy a bottle of the cheapest vodka on the market?

    Franzia boxed wine is by a mile the cheapest alcohol generally available. It’s something like 50 cents/per 1.5 oz of alcohol content versus about 90 cents for Popov vodka.

    Jesus, every time I start thinking I’m fully aware of how damn stupid people are they come up with something new and I realize I’m still not cynical enough.

  11. Richard says:

    “Why wouldn’t you buy a bottle of the cheapest vodka on the market?”

    Not that up to date on box wine but I was once reliably informed by the proprietor of a skid row liquor store that the cheapest way to get drunk was fortified wine – in particular Four Roses White Port. Analyzing alcohol content and price, he said this was a cheaper way to get drunk than the cheapest vodka.

  12. Steve says:

    So what medical procedure is appropriate to help victims of butt chugging? Since presumably stomach pumping would be unhelpful…

    • Hob says:

      Whatever’s still in there, you flush out with an enema. Then it’s just the same as you’d do if they drank it the regular way: supportive care with IV fluids, make sure they’re breathing, wait for it to metabolize– although in really extreme cases you might have to do dialysis. Not much you can do about the liver damage.

  13. laura says:

    Let me get this straight: these guys ass-f***ed themselves with wine bags? Because they wanted to be drunk without drinking? Also, not being a medical professional, does blood alcohol of.4 actually mean your blood content is 40% alcohol? Because if so, how did the guy survive it?

  14. herr doktor bimler says:

    the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels present greatly heightens the level and speed of the alcohol entering the blood stream as it bypasses the filtering by the liver

    The fuck it does. Blood from the large intestine, colon & rectum goes into the inferior mesenteric vein, which joins the splenic vein, which joins the portal vein and gets filtered by the liver.

    Police today, do they receive NO anatomy training???

      • herr doktor bimler says:

        IIRC the circulation from the palpebral veins joins up with the facial vein and eventually into the jugular vein. I don’t care what Owsley said about eyeball-dosing — it doesn’t go to the brain any more directly.

        • Richard says:

          So does the theory espoused here make sense – that the abundance of capillaries and blood vessels in the butt gets you drunk faster?

          • herr doktor bimler says:

            No. The large intestine lining does pump water out of feces back into the bloodstream, and other things are absorbed as well… but that pumping switches off when you have some alcohol in your bloodstream (alcohol turns down the level of anti-diuretic hormone, ADH — so you piss like a horse, paint the bowl brown, and have dehydration to add to your other woes). It’s self-limiting.

            OTOH, if you’re marooned at sea on a raft and have an enema kit, it’s a good way of getting some water into your system.

            • Richard says:

              So its the quantity of alcohol, not the place of consumption, that got these geniuses so fucked up?

            • herr doktor bimler says:

              I have known people to put a rubber tube down their throats and pump wine or beer straight into the stomach from a plunger. As a party trick. Parties did not last long.
              If the only evidence for butt-chugging is the word of some feckin’ campus cop, I’m skeptical that it actually happened.

            • witless chum says:

              This was what I’d read previous when this was put around as something female college students were doing to avoid calories when getting drunk. That it woldn’t actually work.

            • Hob says:

              It may be self-limiting, but you can still get it in pretty fast for a little while, no? About the absorption though… my physiology is rusty but that doesn’t sound quite right. The rectal mucosa isn’t the same as in the large intestine, and it does absorb fat-soluble things faster than the stomach. Fluid pumping has nothing to do with it, it’s just osmosis. I don’t think ADH affects the GI tract in the way you’re suggesting, either. But please correct me if any or all of that is absurdly wrong.

          • Bill Murray says:

            Well, if the capillaries were the only issue, I think it would be correct. But clearly the number of capillaries is not the only issue

            • fish says:

              As HDB points out, if you are absorbing alcohol at the capillary, you are always going to filter it through the liver first, blood only flows one way, arteries->capillaries->veins. Veins all lead to the liver. Maybe bypassing the stomach is faster but the stomach holds so much more than your ass (okay that may not be true for say Rush Limbaugh) that it seems unlikely.

        • Red_cted says:

          No, however, butt chugging your LSD avoids that “acid stomach” sensation–so I’m told.

    • Timb says:

      Can I array this comment?

    • JL says:

      Police today, do they receive NO anatomy training???

      After the NATO summit protests in Chicago this past May, police claimed that protesters with baton-induced head injuries were faking it because some of the injuries appeared to be spurting blood, and blood doesn’t spurt! ergo fakery.

      So I am inclined to say that no, they do not receive anatomy training.

      • BigHank53 says:

        On the bright side, it also means a lot of them aren’t hitting people in the head very often, and aren’t familiar with the results.

        Okay, that’s not so much “bright” as “faint glimmer in the stygian gloom”.

  15. herr doktor bimler says:

    As any fule kno (who has watched “Welcome Back Kotter”) the rubber hose goes up the nose. Someone here is not clear on the concept.

  16. Dave says:

    I just want to put it on record that I did my undergrad at UT Knoxville and I never saw this kind of thing. Though I didn’t spend any time in frat houses. So I guess it’s possible it was going on while I was there.

    Anyway, I met a lot of very capable people there. Some would be fine leaders. And I’m pretty sure they didn’t/don’t chug beer with their asses. Please don’t judge us all based on this incident.

  17. somethingblue says:

    Y’know, the Darwin Awards are named that for a reason.

  18. SatanicPanic says:

    This reminds me of an interview with Nikki Sixx where he was talking about how his band was shooting up whiskey- “you know, we could have just drank it.”

  19. harmfulguy says:

    I think this finally explains why Glenn “Instapundit” Reynolds was able to achieve tenure at that institution.

  20. Otter says:

    Loomis,

    You can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Loomis — isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!

  21. Gareth Wilson says:

    Red or white, I wonder?

  22. BlogWood says:

    lol – I knew some boys in Tampa in the ’80’s that liked to dose themselves with a good vodka enema or two before heading out for a night on the town. I don’t think they were frat boys, but I’m pretty sure they’d be happy to meet some :)

  23. dwreck says:

    I realize that the article doesn’t mention this, but my first thought is that hazing was involved. After all, don’t a lot of hazing activities involve getting pledges life-threateningly drunk? Making them ingest the alcohol anally would presumably be a feature for the humiliation. Otherwise, the frat bros in Tennessee are far more open-minded about being penetrated than I would have ever expected.

  24. dwreck says:

    edit: well, the article mentions that the fraternity had been in trouble for hazing in the past, though does not outright say that is the case this time.

  25. Landru says:

    I’m pretty sure Serge Storms killed a guy this way in one of Tim Dorsey’s novels.

  26. Big Al says:

    This comment thread, for the win….

  27. rea says:

    straight people are so kinky, sometimes . . .

  28. Brutusettu says:

    Once a Pike, always a….

    They should have had their charter revoked for hazing a few years back.

    There will always be certain kinds of idiots, yes there’s a higher concentration of them that go greek, but it’s a nice way to find teams for intramural sports (and I was going veer into an Animal House reference from there on, but it looks like Otter beat me to it).

  29. spud says:

    Is Buttchugging a new internet tradition?

  30. Halloween Jack says:

    You think that it’s just dipshit undergrads who try this sort of thing? Ladies and germs, I give to you Danielle Crittenden, aka Mrs. David Frum, and my sincerest apologies in advance.

  31. actor212 says:

    why would you even bother with wine? Why wouldn’t you buy a bottle of the cheapest vodka on the market?

    That’s easy.

    You can’t hang a bottle of vodka like an enema bag, which means some asshole (pun intended) has to stand there and pour it into you

  32. vacuumslayer says:

    Are butt-chuggers as insufferable about their preference for red as most wine connoisseurs are?

  33. vacuumslayer says:

    Butt seriously, doesn’t this whole thing just scream “Young Republicans Club?” Just the combination of it being completely tasteless and crude and gross and inappropriate and douchey…it’s so conservative-in-training.

  34. vacuumslayer says:

    “Show me on this doll where the Franzia touched you.”

  35. Davis X. Machina says:

    I’m waiting for some facts to emerge, Until then it’s all innuendo. Or intheirendo. Depending.

  36. Matt says:

    Why bother with wine? I dunno, but cheap vodka burns enough when it’s going down the *right* way – nevermind the way they were using.

    Also, I presume we’ll eventually see the Greek system tapering off at some point; it no longer seems necessary to have an excuse if you prefer to minimize your meaningful interactions with the opposite sex in favor of drunken ass-play with your same-sex buddies. Then again, it’ll probably take another couple decades for that sort of cosmopolitan outlook to fully take hold in the Bible Belt.

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