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If Romney wins, perhaps she can be ambassador to the Republic of Corsica

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Mitt Romney’s senior foreign policy advisor Liz Cheney has a point. I can’t think of a single positive thing to say about Obama’s Czechoslovakia policy. However: his craven abandonment of Czechoslovakia pales in comparison to his failure to engage the Orange Free State, and his apparent indifference to the Prussian menace.

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  • How long until we’re hearing how the failure of the Hungarian revolution in 1956 & “losing China” was Obama’s fault too?

    • Captain Haddock

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • blowback

      Sod that – I want to know what her understanding of the Schleswig-Holstein Question is?

    • Obama’s real father was Dr. Who.

    • Anonymous

      He is an appeaser, who should never have allowed annexation of the Sudentanland

  • MAJeff

    So, the Soviet Union remains a threat and Czechoslovakia has been abandoned. How long until Willard blares, “Mr. Putin, tear down this wall!”?

    • Anonymous

      Right about the same time he demands we send Stingers to the Mujahideen.

  • djw

    On the other hand, we have another data point to suggest that excessive, irrational cold war nostalgia could be a heritable trait.

  • Scott Lemieux

    Ms. Cheney has made me so angry I plan to send a sharply-worded letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail.

    • MikeJake

      Hurry! You can still make the 4:30 autogyro.

      • I couldn’t find “Prussia,” “Siam,” or “autogyro” in the manual—must be out of date.

        • de stijl

          [groans] Oh, the ignorance.

        • Pseudonym

          I couldn’t find “letter” either. Is that like when you print out an email?

    • Call 1-900-PRUSSIA. The extra P is for extra…oh never mind.

  • efgoldman

    I’m watching the lead stories on ABC right now, about two more attacks on US personnel and facilities. I don’t know what to think. A Saigon-style “Run away! Run Away!!!” isn’t (and shouldn’t be) an option, but what the fuck good are we doing there, for ourselves or anybody else?

    • efgoldman

      …two more facilities in Afghanistan, of course…

    • Why isn’t it an option? Nobody in the world thinks we’d be leaving “too soon.”

    • wengler

      Yeah, but I’m sure Karzai’s government can stand on its own…

      Who am I kidding? He’ll be on the first plane out.

      • herr doktor bimler

        One seat for him, the rest of the row for his earnings.

        • DrDick

          The rest of the plane for his stolen loot, more like it.

      • Cody

        Karzai will do fine without us. In fact, better. He’s a great politician. I fully expect him to get a high-ranking role in the new Taliban government.

        I think that’s been his long-term plan all along.

    • Kathy Thomas

      Wasn’t the mission to get bin Laden? Didn’t we do that? We won. Declare victory and leave.

  • Barry Freed

    Of course it’s Obama’s Rhodesia policy they really have a problem with.

    • somethingblue

      Northern or Southern?

    • I want to know his position on sending Jello to Biafra.

  • Peter Hovde

    Cheney had his children implanted with a “Munich-Appeasement Reference Module” at an early age.

    • DrDick

      I beg your pardon sir, but my ancestral fatherland, the Grand Duchy of Bavaria, demands an apology!

      • timb

        As does the Dukes of Pomerania and Brandenburg. You cannot insult the forgotten in such a manner

      • ploeg

        The Grand Duchy of Bavaria and what army?

        • DrDick
          • The Dark Avenger

            Courland will never surrender!

          • Thanks!

            Photos of large crowds of Germans always brighten my mood.

            • DrDick

              Oktoberfest brightens everyone’s mood.

              • merl

                I got to attend one in Munich in 1979.

    • herr doktor bimler

      My ancestral homeland of Syd-Slesvig is still hoping for Liz Cheney’s support for the cause of reunion with Nord-Slesvig.
      We are a peace-loving people but our commitment to democratic methods can only go so far.

      • Anonymous

        Actually, were it not for the European Union, we would have a truly massive amount of ethnic problems in Europe. For example here, the Syd-Slesvig (or Süd-Schlesvig) is a province that has a German majority and a Danish minority, both with ancestral roots going back for centuries. The area was an autonomous part of Danmark until the 1850’s, when Austria and Prussia conquered it.

        • herr doktor bimler

          This is why smart people do not talk about “The leader of the X” when what they mean is “The Prime Minister of country X-land”.

          • RhZ

            Which some media chucklehead just did, to comical/horrific effect:

            “On Meet the Press this morning David Gregory referred to Benjamin Netanyahu as “Leaders of the Jews” and in his role as ‘leader of the Jewish People” asked for his verdict on President Obama. “You are the leader of the Jewish people,” Gregory told Netanyahu.”

            That is from TPM

            • Kathy Thomas

              Did he sing King Herod’s song?

  • wjts

    Unlike Obama, Romney will not turn a blind eye to Soviet aggression towards Latveria, Zembla, and Freedonia.

  • Malaclypse

    I demand to know if Obama will cravenly abandon our ally, the Grand Duchy of Fenwick? Will the anti-colonial attitudes inherited, like blackity blackness, from his father, come to deform foreign policy in this manner? Will the brave Fenwickians stand alone against the Soviet menace?

    • jon

      Really? I had it on very good authority that the Duchy of Grand Fenwick just declared war on the US.

      Worse yet has been Obama’s complete disregard for the rising menace posed by Upper Ruritania.

      I’m looking forward to some epic press conferences and congressional hearings on all of these.

      • snarkout

        Hail, hail, Freedonia, land of the brave and free.

      • somethingblue

        I had it on very good authority that the Duchy of Grand Fenwick just declared war on the US.

        Wouldn’t have happened if Mitt were running things. #romneystrength

  • Captain Haddock

    What is Obama doing about the horseless carriage gap?

  • thebewilderness

    Criminy! I thought it must be an error in transcription.
    I am not shocked to find it was not. I should be shocked. I think I should.

    • RhZ

      Keep in mind what Liz’s background is. She only got a gig at the State Department in the first place because of Daddy…

      She doesn’t know jack except that Obama’s doing it wrong and Daddy should never, never face a tribunal.

  • The East Pakistan question is especially troubling.

    • Calming Influence

      OT, but who’s counting: As the poster formerly known as jexter, Calming Influence is pleased to see that the Pinkster is still Punking about. Cheers mate! I’ll stop in at Tres Bouillon and get caught up.

  • greylocks

    I’ve always wanted to ask wingnuts if they think we should bomb Persia.

    • Malaclypse

      My uncle is Iranian. In the 1970s, he began referring to himself as Persian. It my knowledge, this has worked perfectly.

      • Malaclypse

        To my knowledge, that is. I blame the peace-hating people of Upper Fredonia.

      • Karen

        I know at least two Tea Party types who will wonder why your uncle thinks he’s a long-haired cat.

        • dobro su odigrali utmaikcu. cak je i jovanovic posle duzeg vremena solidno igrao! pantelic nije super napadac, ali sigurno naj bolji srpski. sigurno cemo da se kvalifikujemo za EP (ako nedobijemo bas nekog prejakog u barazu) , ali sta nam to vredi kada vec sada znamo da nemamo kvalitet ni da prodjemo prvi krug.

      • Pseudonym

        So nobody’s called him on his Fars?

      • Really! Interesting. I’m not sure why I’ve never tried that. I remember correcting people that I was of Iranian, not Persian, descent. But then after the revolution and hostage crises, I just tried to avoid the issue altogether.

        • Cody

          Iirc, there was an article on CNN about this. Some Iranian communities have taken to calling themselves “Persian” to avoid the racists.

          It works pretty well. Although “300” might have ruined this effect, but I’ll catch those darn 8 foot Persians!

          • I guess this would have helped me as a kid. I’m sort of reluctant to give in on this, though.

            When I was in 6th grade, though, it would have been a godsend. My strategy at the time was to point out that my family was Zoroastrian. That seemed to work well enough.

            It’s interesting, I still have a slight hesitation about revealing my ethnic background when people stumble over my name and say, “Is that French?” Well, not a hesitation anymore (I think the actual pause disappeared around 1995), but I’m still self-conscious about it.

            But, of course, better to self identify as Iranian than Frech, I suppose! In the US, at least.

            • Pseudonym

              Better a Mad Mullah than a cheese-eating surrender monkey?

  • FMguru

    In the early 1990s. SPY magazine canvassed numerous Congressmen about their support for pro-democracy demonstrators in Freedonia. Most were strongly in favor.

    • sparks

      Sylvania will have something to say about that!

  • herr doktor bimler

    I heard that Obama is doing nothing to support the Grand Duchy of Lithuania from Russian and Polish encroachment.

    I look forward to someone asking Romney where he stands on the Schleswig-Holstein question.

    • greylocks

      He’ll probably think you’re asking him about cows.

  • somethingblue

    To be fair, I’m not sure I would be incapable of making this particular slip. I thought it was a bit mean of them to go and change it after we all invested so much time learning to spell and pronounce the old version.

    • greylocks

      You’re not being paid money to pontificate on TV.

      • spencer

        To be fair, you don’t actually know what he is or isn’t being paid to do.

    • Steve H

      I know I still do it from time to time.

      They need to change their name to Czechia or Czechland. I think it would be more natural for English-speakers to pronounce.

  • UserGoogol

    Even if you set aside the use of the word itself her point is questionable. “Czechoslovakia” has been doing pretty well for itself in the years since it became two countries. It’s not a relationship that really needs to be closely managed. There have been some disagreements over the last four years, but that seems fairly inevitable.

    That said, I do think she had a substantive point in mind. Since she mentioned Czechoslovakia next to Poland, she might have been thinking of the cancelled missile defense program in Eastern Europe. Poland and the Czech Republic weren’t terribly happy with that, although I don’t particularly remember the specifics. Of course, saying that she was thinking of a missile defense program doesn’t exactly contradict the idea that she has a cold war mindset.

    • Cody

      Yes, we need to appease every non-Islamic nation in the world.

      This point seems silly. If Obama is the “weak” President, shouldn’t he just give in to countries like the Czech Republic? Wouldn’t it be showing this “strength” to refuse to give them a missile defense platform in order to further our own agenda?

      It seems to me if anything she’s making the exact opposite point she’s aiming for.

  • herr doktor bimler

    Poland and the Czech Republic weren’t terribly happy with that, although I don’t particularly remember the specifics.

    IIRC the specifics were largely financial.

    • timb

      What the right wing meant by that was the American defense contractors who were going to build the unneeded missile defense installations at a 400% profit were upset and so were the local politicians they had bought and promised more kickbacks to.

      After all, if Liz represents anything, it’s Brown and Root and friends

      • Mea

        Liz also represents the evolving face of nepotism. Used to be that just the straight white men could benefit from their father’s accomplishments to hoist themselves into positions they didn’t deserve. One definition of equality is to have the level of equality reached where there are just as many incompetent women/minorities/homosexuals as there are incompetent straight white men. Using that particular narrow rubric, the right wing of American politics has been greatly contributing to equality.

        • Pseudonym

          Liz Cheney, Condi Rice, and Richard Grenell are really paving the way, aren’t they?

        • BigHank53

          What award can we give Ken Mehlman?

  • Edward Furey

    How can you forget the Parthians? They’re only two millenia or so away from getting an atomic bomb.

    • Davis X. Machina

      Dude, no one remembers Quemoy and Matsu, and that’s in my lifetime. The poor Parthians don’t stand a chance… not that we shouldn’t turn Ctesiphon into a parking lot, just in case.

      • calling all toasters

        They were the two guys in Milli Vanilli, right?

        • somethingblue

          No, you’re thinking of Urim and Thummim.

          • firefall

            not Hugin and Munin?

            • rea

              Those guys were in the Black Crows.

    • wjts

      Yes, we must support the peace-loving Scythians (who are the moral equivalents of our Founding Fathers) in their struggles against the totalitarian menace of the Parthians, who don’t even have a word for “freedom”.

      • firefall

        Not to mention the burning Seleucid succession question

    • herr doktor bimler

      We are talking about the missile project code-named “Parthian Shot”, right?

    • Anonymous

      Actually, Iran is the successor state of Parthian Empire.

  • Adam

    Seriously, we should be worried about the Bey of Tripoli. Its forces are regrouping and the second Battle of Derne is nigh.

    • Edward Furey

      And the USS Constitution can be made ready for sea in a few weeks, I hear. Instead of “Battleship” we’ll call the movie “Frigate!”

  • jimintampa

    Don’t forget about Novi Pazar. I worry about the Sanjak and his anti-League of Nations rhetoric!

    • ajay

      I worry about the Sanjak and his anti-League of Nations rhetoric!

      Sanjak is Turkish for, more or less, “district”. And Tripoli didn’t have a Bey. Algiers and Tunis had Deys.

  • calling all toasters

    They really are running C. Montgomery Burns for President, aren’t they?

  • sparks

    Since the 1932 Olympic games, the IOC has kept the tiny kingdom of Klopstokia from competing in the games. What will Obama do about this injustice to all Klopstokians?

  • Snarki, child of Loki

    I don’t care if it’s Obama or Romney, but would somebody *please* appoint Santorum as ambassador to The Holy Roman Empire.

    He can spend the next 4-5 years looking for it. Win-win!

  • brandon

    Mostly I’m disturbed that Obama lacks a coherent stance on the territory disputes between Florin and Guilder, without which, piracy will continue to menace our coasts and depress our tourist trade.

  • herr doktor bimler

    Why won’t Obama redeploy the 5th Fleet to safeguarding the seacoast of Bohemia??

    • somethingblue

      What would you expect of somebody who’s instructed the State Department not to recognize Klow as the undivided capital of Syldavia?

    • ajay

      The coastline of Bohemia is already being patrolled by every ship in the US Navy’s Tenth Fleet.

  • I await the response from our allies in Wakanda.

    • wjts

      I understand that the PNAC crowd has been making noise about forcible regime change in Wakanda. Fortunately, they haven’t been able to drum up much in the way of popular support, presumably because the slogan “Kick their ass and take their vibranium” doesn’t rhyme.

  • Pseudonym

    I’m worried that we haven’t heard anything lately from our Ambassador to Bulungi.

  • I thought Corsica was a kingdom not a republic?

  • FlipYrWhig

    Wasn’t 18th-century Corsica one of the few places where women could vote?

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