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Protecting Sasquatch

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I’m presently on a 6-week research trip to the Pacific Northwest and am presently working in Eugene, Oregon. Our former governor is a man named Ted Kulongoski. In the 1970s, he was a hip young state legislator, friends of this hippie group I’m researching. While in this group’s papers, I found this gem:

Oregon Legislative Assembly—1977 Regular Session

House Joint Resolution 52 Sponsored by Representative Kulongoski (at the request of Anita Paulsen)

Protects Wildlife Species known as Sasquatch or Bigfoot and prohibits harassing, annoying or intimidating of Sasquatch.

Imposes penalty of two days labor picking up garbage along Oregon highways for violation of Act.

As a consequence of economic growth and development, untempered by adequate concern and conservation, many species of wildlife become extinct. The possible loss of one such species, Sasquatch or Bigfoot as it is sometimes known, causes especial concern to the Oregon Legislative Assembly.

Notwithstanding that Sasquatch are reputed to live in Devil’s Club swamps and feed on poison oak, there are those who insist on searching for them. Although no one has positively identified or captured one, this Legislative Assembly feels that it is a matter of time before this event will occur. In the past, friends of Sasquatch, out of respect for this shy creature, that has never so much as stolen a picnic blanket, have covered all sign of the creature’s existence. But with the encroachment of civilization and hoards of Sasquatch hunters upon its habitat, it has become more difficult for Sasquatch protectors to do so; now, therefore,

Be It Resolved by the Legislative Assembly of the State of Oregon:

That we, the members of the Fifty-ninth Legislative Assembly, declare that harassing, annoying or intimidating Sasquatch is punishable by a maximum of two days labor picking up garbage along Oregon highways.

I mean, if Kulongoski was still governor and I found this, I feel I could seriously do some damage to his career.

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  • Spuddie

    Sasquatch were an integral part of the Cascadian image

  • Manju

    I mean, if Kulongoski was still governor and I found this, I feel I could seriously do some damage to his career.

    Indeed, Oregonians have zero tolerance for blatant antisemitism.

  • DivGuy

    Protects Wildlife Species known as Sasquatch or Bigfoot and prohibits harassing, annoying or intimidating of Sasquatch.

    Workplace abuse of sasquatch isreal.

  • c u n d gulag

    Sasquatch IS real.

    And is now in Israel.

    Dr. Donald Douglas proved it beyond the shadow of a doubt several years ago.

    • N W Barcus

      Hey, Sasquatch is just as real as “the free market”, even if fewer people believe in him.

      • DocAmazing

        Not so. There are casts of the footprints of Sasquatch, providing some (debatable) evidence of its existence.

        • I took a picture of a free market once, but it’s too blurry to make out all the information symmetries and utility maximizations.

  • I wonder if filming grainy footage with an 8mm camera or riffing on it constitutes harassment.

    • Spuddie

      I am sure as soon as Sasquatches develop the manual dexterity to sign a retainer agreement, Jack Links will be sued for defamation for its commercials.

  • John

    This seems tongue in cheek to me. It’s basically making it a crime to go out looking for Bigfoot.

    • Wapiti

      I think it’s very tongue in cheek. It makes is a crime only if you *find* the Bigfoot.

      Sounds like a constituent asked for it, he introduced a bill, and everyone chuckled.

      • College Professor Know-It-All

        Sounds like a waste of the legislators and the assembly’s time.

        What an idiot.

        Wonder what party he’s from?

        • Ricky V

          Why yes good sir, he could of spent that valuable time doing something important like showing his support for an anti-flag burning Amendment to the Constitution.

          • Mike G

            Or renaming fried potato products in the name of fighting terrorism.

          • College Professor Know-It-All

            …he could of spent that valuable time doing something important like showing his support for an anti-flag burning Amendment to the Constitution.

            Even that would have been a better use of time.

            • Spuddie

              Even that would have been a better use of time.

              I am sure attacking Constitutional liberties are considered important work for some legislators.

              • DrDick

                Exactly. This legislation was harmless, while those favored by our troglodyte troll, along with much of the foolish Republican legislation, are positively harmful.

        • Spuddie

          Sounds like a waste of the legislators and the assembly’s time.

          Or worse he could have funneled taxpayer dollars to undermine public education and attack constitutional liberties like legislators in other states, like Louisiana.

      • DocAmazing

        My mom worked for the Oregon State Legislature at about that time. During slow parts of the legislative season, joke bills were not uncommon.

        In what way is this any more absurd than English-Only bills, or resolutions declaring the US a Christian nation? Kulongoski should be thanked for providing harmless sport instead of destructive noise.

  • gorillagogo

    If this law ever passed, those Jack Links beef jerky guys would be picking up a whole lotta litter.

    • Halloween Jack

      I find those ads irritating as fuck, and would appreciate it if Sasquatch made a citizen’s arrest in one of them.

  • MikeN

    Oh, yeah, it’s just like “Gorillas in the Mist- everybody wants to save the furry, human-like ones.

    What did he do to save the endangered Northwest Pacific Tree Octopus?

    http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/

  • Bexley

    As a consequence of economic growth and development, untempered by adequate concern and conservation, many species of wildlife become extinct.

    Why do lefties love Sasquatch more than jobs!

    • Spuddie

      Why does Sasquatch hate America?

  • DrDick

    The depressing thing is that this act is actually more sensible and less harmful than a large portion of those proposed by Republican lawmakers (at all levels of government) in recent years.

  • Hovde

    Hell, Florida passed a statute protecting the “Swamp Ape.”

  • Can’t they just name their NHL team after Sasquatch, the way New Jersey did with the Jersey Devil?

  • Fred Bush

    That bill passed the Oregon House.

    http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1314&dat=19770617&id=VTxOAAAAIBAJ&sjid=1-0DAAAAIBAJ&pg=5306,764481

    Kulongoski actually produced a video about it while he was governor:

    http://www.cryptomundo.com/cryptozoo-news/or-gov-bf/

  • The Law, in fact, passed 4-0. The news went international this is the Telegraph reprint of the story.

    You can’t shame Kulongoski, he was wearing a gorilla suit when he presented it. See this article from the Oregonian.

    While your at it go to Bigfoot Lunch Club to get the latest Bigfoot News

  • Jon H

    It was probably done as a bit of a publicity stunt, hoping to attract tourism.

    Bigfoot was very much of interest at the time. The bigfoot episode of Six Million Dollar Man was aired in 1976. The series “In Search Of…” debuted in 1976, and one first-season episode was about Bigfoot.

    • owlbear1

      SMDMs ‘Banging Bigfoot’ moment…

      A ‘friendly alien’? Seriously?

      • DocAmazing

        Friendly? Just listen!

  • RepubAnon

    I remember seeing a news article about some hunting expedition that was planning to shoot a Sasquatch until the local police put a stop to it citing this statute.

    The news crews were looking for a “Bigfoot is Real” quote when interviewing the police chief. Instead, the officer explained that given the long hair and beards favored by many local human residents, he felt the dangers inherent in people wandering the back woods shooting at anything that was two-legged and hairy merited stopping the proposed hunt.

    • We are all Sasquatch.

      • gmack

        Outsdanding.

  • Warren Terra

    This is just an example of the Oregon State Legislature showing some sense of humor and doing something harmless to entertain their constituents. This is a fine tradition that has continued.

  • jon

    So, did he protect putative cryptozoologic Sasquatch, or not?

  • Donald Rumsfeld

    We know where Bigfoot is. He’s in the area around Portland, north, south, east and west of it.

  • keestadoll

    My husband and I live in Humboldt County and on the occasions where we’ve had to purchase a major appliance or similar high-ticket item, we find our car driving north across the border to enjoy Oregon’s non-existent sales tax. I gotta tell ya, not two seconds over the line, sign or no sign, you know you’re in Oregon. Even the dirt is weird.

  • And yet, evidence does suggest that in fact, Sasquatch is real…

    I keep an open mind on this one. It’s not like UFOs which have only a 60 or 70 year exposure. First Nationers hundreds of years ago recorded Squatch sightings in their oral histories. And much of the scientific…yes, objectively scientific…evidence is pretty hard to refute.

    There are undoubtedly hundreds of thousands of explainable cases and then there are a few hundred that really defy easy disposition, the Patterson film included. In fact, NatGeo just did a complete study of the film on their network a few weeks back, and even Jeff Meldrum, an expert on foot morphology and primate locomotion, had to admit that there’s pretty convincing evidence for a wild primate in the northwest based on both the new digital film analysis, a 3D computer re-rendering of it, and the associated footprints cast at the time.

  • Gigantopithicus

    I’m with John when he says it’s tongue in cheek.

    I am surprised by how cocksure everyone here is about sasquatch (well, not really). Jane Goodall, among other primatologists and anthropologists, is convinced of its reality:

    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6469070

    But hey, what does some chick like Jane Goodall know about primates?

  • It has the finger prints of a man I used to know. He claimed responsibility for the Oregon campaign to dissuade Californians from visiting. That announced policy got considerable attention all over the country at the time (ca 1974) and succeeded — in attracting more tourists, particularly from California.
    Dr L. L. D. Shaffer was a man of wit. My favorite quote: “A period marks the place where inquiry ceased.”
    –ml

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