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Find them! Make them say the words!

[ 66 ] July 19, 2012 |

After a series of answers in which Speaker Boehner distances himself from Michele Bachmann’s paranoid concerns about the infiltration of our government by agents of the Muslim Brotherhood, this exchange occurs:

Q: Would you consider taking her off the Intelligence Committee? Congresswoman Bachmann?

JOHN BOEHNER: I don’t know that that’s related at all.

Nor do I. It’s not like the Intelligence Committee is tasked to oversee “the intelligence and intelligence-related activities of 17 elements of the US Government, and the Military Intelligence Program.” It’s not as if a person on said committee sending a letter full of undocumented slanders and strange accusations of cultural capitulation has anything to do with intelligence — either in its governmental or colloquial sense. It’s not like the letter to Inspector General Charles McCullough contains material lifted from the splash page of this website or anything. It’s not as if the letter to Acting Inspector General Lynne Halbrooks demonstrates a “serious concern” about how the government labels things. Except the Halbrooks letter demands an investigation into:

The failure of the Army in the aftermath of the Fort Hood massacre to characterize the jihadist motivations of the alleged shooter, a self-declared “Soldier of Allah” Major Nidal Hassan. This was compounded by the after-action investigation which did not even describe the incident as an example of “violent extremism” — the government’s approved euphemism for obscuring jihadism.

The use of euphemisms, this letter contends, “may even pose security risks for this nation, its people, and interests.” This makes perfect sense: if I say nothing when they come for my language, I won’t be able to complain when they impose shariah law because they already took my language. Policing language is very important to the authors of these letters, as evidenced by a demand for a

corrective action, consistent with the Constitution and laws of the United States , to ensure that no Muslim Brotherhood associated entity or individual is placed in a position of honor or trust within the programs and operations of the Department of Defense unless he or she has publicly condemned and disclaimed previously stated goals of the Muslim Brotherhood.

They must “publicly condemn.” They want to make some unnamed (and all future) people prove they’ve uprooted some thoughts from their heads. In words. (Presumably before the Brotherhood takes them away.) Failure to do so might “unnecessarily expose U.S. personnel [in Afghanistan] to hostile action and diseases.” They must be made to say the words, or Our Troops might catch diseases. The vector of these hypothetical diseases? Doesn’t matter. It could happen.

If none of this makes much sense to you, consider it a compliment, because none of these letters make sense. The boilerplate questions that conclude all of them can be summed up thus:

  1. Is anyone under you a Secret Muslim, and if so, has he or she publicly renounced their commitment to “civilization jihad”?
  2. What is the current relationship of your Secret Muslims to the Muslim Brotherhood?
  3. Have you taken the “corrective action” described above against your Secret Muslims yet?

Follow the logic! Some Representatives are asking various Inspector Generals to root out the Muslim spies in their respective organizations, but this activity is “unrelated” to the House Intelligence Committee, because it’s only about a secret plot to destroy the United States by “civilization jihad.” Would Speaker Boehner have us believe that spying is “unrelated” to intelligence?

Apparently so.

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Comments (66)

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  1. Hogan says:

    You may recall when Ms. Abedin was a lesbian. I don’t know whether this counts as a promotion, but it’s certainly different.

  2. Malaclypse says:

    Failure to do so might “unnecessarily expose U.S. personnel [in Afghanistan] to hostile action and diseases.”

    Please tell me you made up the part about diseases. My brain really wants to believe that this must be over-the-top sarcasm, and that nobody, not even JenBob, could be stupid enough to say or write something that impossibly stupid.

    • SEK says:

      All quoted material is from the letters themselves, unfortunately. (You should see what I left on the cutting room floor!)

    • Hogan says:

      Here, page 2.

      It has to do with unspecified Muslim hygienic practices.

      • SEK says:

        And how they’re part of this devious Muslim Brotherhood conspiracy to win the “hearts and minds” of the Afghan people. I can see the connections, almost, just not the logic. Or, quite frankly, the agency. In short, after reading these letters I can see Point A over there and Point B over there, and I can see that they’re connected, but they’re connected by something out of a China Mieville novel: half-steel, half-organic, vaguely sentient, and a metaphor for the Coming Socialism.

        • Anderson says:

          It’s the Islamofascist threat to our precious bodily fluids, obviously.

          • SEK says:

            So we put our fluids in their hearts and minds? No wonder we’re not winning over their bits.

            • Anderson says:

              I think it’s our 9mm rounds that we put in their hearts and minds.

              • Malaclypse says:

                So you are saying these fiends believe in Gun Control?

                • Ken says:

                  When you’re talking about Afghanis, very much so. They control lots of guns, and most of them can smith new ones from any handy scrap steel.

                  But it’s not the guns you should worry about. Let me google… ah, yes, here it is, good old Kipling:

                  When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains,/And the women come out to cut up what remains,/Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains/An’ go to your Gawd like a soldier.

        • mds says:

          It has to do with unspecified Muslim hygienic practices.

          And how they’re part of this devious Muslim Brotherhood conspiracy to win the “hearts and minds” of the Afghan people.

          “Isn’t this sandalwood-scented soap lovely? It moisturizes your skin instead of drying it out, too. You can have as many bars of it as you want … if you swear eternal jihad against America and its freedoms.”

  3. Cody says:

    The Republican party has already established calling Democrats Communists and making outlandish claims are perfectly acceptable.

    I don’t see why Boehner would change that plan now.

  4. You fools, don’t you see! It’s a plot so crafty as to defy belief!

    This Islamist sleeper agent actually went so far as to marry Israeli uber-hawk Anthony Weiner, just so she could deny him his husbandly prerogatives for so long that he strayed into internet naughtiness that ended his career in electoral politics.

    WAKE UP AMERICA! There’s no way of knowing how far this goes.

    Why, I’m starting to suspect that my own wife might be a Muslim.

  5. Anderson says:

    Michelle Bachmann.

    Intelligence Committee.

    That is all.

    • Jim Lynch says:

      The Minnesotans who have elected Bachman to multiple terms.

      America’s “Heartland”.

      That is all, too.

      • Malaclypse says:

        These are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know… morons.

        • cpinva says:

          i think the key word their is “clay”. hell, you need something in your skull, to keep it from collapsing!

          i have one (probably really stupid) question:

          if, as noted in in question #2, these are “Secret Muslims”, then, um, how the fuck would they know? isn’t the whole premise behind being a “Secret” anything, to keep others from knowing?

          see, i told you this was probably a stupid question. frankly, i’ve probably dropped a few IQ points on the ground, for having asked it.

      • SEK says:

        In something clearly “unrelated” to this, there’s a once-off joke in Showtime’s Homeland. The first time they drive past the actual George H.W. Bush Center for Intelligence, the “H.” is oddly missing.

      • joel hanes says:

        Ms. Bachmann’s district is a carefully-gerrymandered whiter-than-white-bread slice of Minneapolis/St. Paul’s leafy northern suburbs, a district that is dominated by economically-comfortable Protestants in their retirement years.

        Very few farmers.
        Very few young people.
        Lots of older people glued to Fox.

  6. the conspiratist says:

    Balderdash!!!!

  7. John F says:

    Back in 2010 I remembered reading some article wherein the author was amused that Rep. Bachmann was on the “Intelligence” Committee, people thought that was funny (oxymoronic…)- At the time I recall thinking that was a good thing- because as an elected Representative she was bound o be one some committee or other- and I thought she’d do less harm there than she might on some other committees

    alas “less harm” obviously doe snot equate to “noharm”

  8. Hogan says:

    They must “publicly condemn.” They want to make some unnamed (and all future) people prove they’ve uprooted some thoughts from their heads. In words.

    And then we’ll yell “Taqiyya, bitchez!” and shoot them.

  9. Romney Surging in Polls says:

    Obama’s favorability at record low 36 percent and dropping….

  10. wengler says:

    Michele Bachmann may not know this, but I daresay she does and is just being cautious, but her district is next to another that has a Muslim representing it. A converted one at that.

    Why won’t this damn liberal media report this!

  11. urizon says:

    This idiot’s actions put SoS Clinton in real, honest-to-god danger. I would imagine the administration is righteously pissed and is kicking ass and taking names behind the scenes. The McCain and Boehner statements would seem to confirm this. Bachmann may have finally gone too far. Let us hope.

    • cpinva says:

      really? how so?

      Bachmann may have finally gone too far. Let us hope.

      and exactly what could the administration do, threaten to hold their collecive breath, until bachmann is shipped off to the MN version of the gulag?

      conceivably, she could be censured. that, and a buck, will get you any size coffee at mcd’s. until her constituents get their collective heads out of their collective asses, and drop-kick her out the door when next she runs for re-election, congress (and all of us) is stuck with her. at best, she could be removed from her committees assignments. based on the tan man’s comments, that doesn’t appear likely.

  12. Guy says:

    It’s kind of weird that they purport to be okay with a Muslim Brotherhood-associated individual who has “publicly condemned” the organization. Like, the jihadists are willing to blow themselves up to hurt our Freedoms (which they hate, etc.), but they’re not willing to lie?

    (Okay, obviously none of that makes much sense period, so kind of beside the point.)

  13. Steve LaBonne says:

    Can we surrender to Canada now, please? It’s obvious that we’re no longer fit to govern ourselves.

    (Sorry, Canadians, I know just how much you don’t want us…)

  14. DrDick says:

    Reading this, I actually long for Joe McCarthy, who seems sane, moderate, and reasonable by comparison.

    • Murc says:

      McCarthy wasn’t a true believer. He was an opportunist. This meant he wanted to avoid doing things that would make him look like an idiot. Evil, yes. Idiot, no.

      • wengler says:

        Going after the army was pretty idiotic.

      • thebewilderness says:

        She is not an idiot. It would be better if she were. She is a religious fanatic and an opportunist. A deadly combination as history tells the story.
        There was something going round about the SoS motorcade being attacked today and then the story went away. That whole business in Bulgaria seems impossible considering the level of security in Bulgaria. The news coverage makes no sense.
        Something weird is going on with the religious right, or maybe I just need to don my tinfoil hat and go for a walk.

  15. chris says:

    This many comments, and I still get to be the first person to say that I for one have no trouble believing that *all* of Rep. Bachmann’s activities are unrelated to intelligence.

    I guess it’s just my lucky day, or something.

  16. Ben Hosen says:

    First they came for the Muslims. And I said FUCK THAT.

    Politics is about power. I get that. The pursuit of power in the absence of any moral (or ethical*) grounding can produce nothing good.

    As opposed to ideological grounding, which seems to lead to mass graves whenever (always) humans fail to live up to the ideals that Race/Class Struggle/The Market demand of them.

    Damn, too bad Robert Penn Warren never wrote a novel about themes like this.

    *(Sorry, just saw “Election” for the first time in a while.)

  17. […] instead of, for example, whether someone’s really an American or whether they’re a sleeper agent for the Muslim Brotherhood. It’s not Harry Reid’s fault that conservatives have tacitly authorized this particular […]

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