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What a waste of usable muscle. Condolences to the donor’s family, and to the vast majority of humankind. If I thought there were a remote chance my vital organs might wind up sustaining the life of an enfeebled war criminal, I’d gleefully ram a weed-eater through my own sternum.
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Medical Science reports breakthrough: world’s first human heart implant performed, 45 years after the first human heart transplant.
Human?
the heart is human
Then this will be the first case of a heart rejecting the body.
Like anyone even partially granted admittance to Dick’s undisclosed locations, the donor would have been fully vetted.
It could be Vince Foster’s heart kept alive through artificial means for exactly this moment.
Otherwise, 20 months on the waiting list. Give me a break. At least Warren G Harding wasn’t a war criminal and he had the good grace to die in office. Dick Cheney – a disgrace to humanity to his very bitter end.
First time I’ve heard of a purely cosmetic heart operation.
Well written. Well written. Sadly, so sadly enough.
Harrumph.
I’m afraid his body will be so shocked at the presence of an organ it never had before it will keel over and die.
REally though we should all be wishing the big Dick a very long life. He knows he can’t leave the US for fear of being arrested. We have to remind him that this country my regain it sanity one day & shit his useless ass & bright shiny new heart to the Hague.
This is my biggest consolation. Of course, it’ll never happen, but we all gotta have something to cling to.
In the admittedly unlikely event that the American people ever elected a Democratic president who upheld the constitution and laws of the United States, Cheney wouldn’t need to leave the US to get his frog-march.
Amen, Mrs. T.
And he outlived Demjanjuk.
Maybe this heart will not be 3 sizes too small
Buck up, everyone. This means he’ll be able to spend a good, long 25 years rotting in jail.
Is there any reason to believe the donation was voluntary?
It was a good old-fashioned Aztec donation.
Don’t do that! Ingest a slow-acting and hard to detect but invariably fatal substance. Then make sure to sign that organ donation card before kicking off.
But it’s also important to note on the organ card that your organs are only to go to ex-Vice Presidents and/or the objectively evil.
Who knew Kim Jon Il was an organ donor?
I just hope the donors family do not know who got the organ. They do not need more pain.
How does a guy in his dotage with a history of cardiac disease get a heart?
$$$$$$$
America is an interesting place
Um, I’d not be shocked to learn he gamed the queue – but on the other hand I suspect a lot of people who get heart transplants have a history of cardiac problems. All of them, in fact.
Not 5 MI’s. These are precious organs and generally only go to people who are younger with the possibility of decades of quality of life. One million year old don’t usually get them
The Gingriches:
Maybe it’s just me, but “peaceful” in this context kinda creeped me out.
So there are two additional reasons why Cheney getting a transplant sucks ass that the article doesn’t really address. A silly one and an actual one.
The silly one is that the LVAD (left ventricular assist device) which Cheney was using prior to the transplant uses an Archimedean screw to whip blood through the body at a constant rate. This means that while Cheney was on the LVAD, he didn’t have a pulse. Doctors really shouldn’t have altered this state, which goes beyond metaphor and approaches myth.
The actual downer-type reason is that while the LVAD was originally conceived to stabilize heart transplant candidates and act as a temporary bridge until a transplant could be performed, it has performed so well that it’s beginning to be thought of as a permanent treatment. Indeed, Cheney’s case is often given as evidence that it can work. So, leaving aside the fact that he’s a war criminal and pushing the age limit for the procedure, Cheney’s transplant replaces an effective treatment in someone who had functionally unlimited access to world-class medical care. It’s hard to think of a candidate who was less deserving just from an efficiency standpoint.
Maybe now that Cheney has a heart, he will repent.
That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard all day!
While I am certain that he only wanted this transplant to prove to the world that he was not literally a heartless bastard, there is no reason to believe that he will actually use the organ. I think it is much more of a fashion accessory.
Interesting that when he was originally asked if he was going to go for a transplant, he modestly says that he hasn’t considered that. Manly Dick, facing the odds on his own! Like a warrior! Like a cowboy! Interesting that the waiting list time started earlier than when he made this statement.
Lying hypocrites gotta be lying hypocrites.
I wonder, if he had publicly acknowledged that he was on the transplant list, how it would have affected the list — particularly donor restrictions. Which is something that lying but crafty old bastard probably considered when he denied he was thinking about a transplant.
I had hoped he was going to die before me.
Dishonorable Boobs comments have been deleted?
Oh, can you feel the impotent rage!!!
Try some mental V*agra, DB.
Looks like your brain needs quicker-picker-uppers as much as your johnson needs quicker-pecker-uppers.
I’d like to claim a conscience exception to paying any taxes toward Dick’s medical benefits. After all, if I were a bishop, I’d never have to pay taxes at all, let alone paying for anything I didn’t approve of. Alas, I’m afraid I’m just another Mongo — “only pawn in game of life.”
Hitler. And remember, I’m Jewish. Please, repeat your absurdity.
+$$$
Thanks Bob–for every time you comment, I get to send more money to Planned Parenthood and the NAACP!!!!
I freely and openly admit that I hate Dick Cheney. I hate war criminals, especially gleefully unrepentant ones. This doesn’t preclude me feeling a certain amount of pity for him at the same time, but we could use more hate-filled posts about Dick Cheney, rather than less.
Never a bad thing about Hitler, Kim Il Jong, Motubu Seso Seko, Mugabe, Bin Laden? They should have all gotten the Prometheus treatment without rescue because their legacy to mankind was death, destruction and misery.
See I’m an equal opportunity hater.
what a jerk you are for sending your condolences for the donors family.
+$$$
AHEM:
+$$$
It really is special that we not only get concern trolled about incivility towards Recently Departed Assholes, we now get special bonus concern trolling about Assholes who are actually getting healthier due to medical intervention.
It might counter some of the “love” that Prick is getting but since that deranged person probably approves of this as well, WGAF!
I bet Dastardly Dick has a GREAT medical plan!
At the taxpayers expense, no less.
ZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz…
I could never say the hate-filled things you publish.
Thus spake LGM’s #1 provider of fag jokes.
Yawn.
-$$$$$$-
Full-time, private-sector worker here, HoBo, inviting you to kindly fuck off to the fainting couch. You delicate flower.
Having worked a wide array of really shitty blue collar jobs to get where I am today, kindly fuck off and die you clueless troglodyte.
-$$$$$$-
Dishonest Boob’s also one of the people who think they’re clever by substituting a “t” for the “d,” in my “c u n d gulag’ moniker.
The Fainting Couch, the new hit single from the self-titled debut album of Liberal Death Cult!!!
what does it stand for, anyway?
Intended as a reply to c u n d gulag above.
“See You In The Gulag.”
Relatives on both my mother’s and father’s side died in Stalins GULag’s.
I came up with this in the lead-up to “Baby Doc” Bush & Co’s ‘Not So Excellent Iraq Adventure,’ when I was called treasonous, and a traitor, and someone who should be locked-up with all of the other Liberal treasonous traitors in the country.
And, with another Republican administration inevitable at some point, I see no reason to change it.
Unless all of the crazy Conservatives die off soon.
But, then, there’s a crop of younger ones. And, the poop doesn’t fall far from the sphincter, you know…
Sigh. Replies are broken or I am damaged. Or both.
WTF, I posted this as a reply to Murc @1:16 am!
Replies are broken – I blame it on the influence of the evil one himself, Dick Cheney. Someone should rip his heart out for the good of humanity and then drive a stake through it for good measure.
But blowback, someone was kind enough to finally donate one to him!
I believe that deleting a comment breaks reply from that point down.
$$$
We are going to give our monthly donation to Planned Parenthood in your name.