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Giving organ donation a bad name

[ 59 ] March 24, 2012 |

What a waste of usable muscle. Condolences to the donor’s family, and to the vast majority of humankind. If I thought there were a remote chance my vital organs might wind up sustaining the life of an enfeebled war criminal, I’d gleefully ram a weed-eater through my own sternum.

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  1. Warren Terra says:

    Medical Science reports breakthrough: world’s first human heart implant performed, 45 years after the first human heart transplant.

  2. LosGatosCA says:

    It could be Vince Foster’s heart kept alive through artificial means for exactly this moment.

    Otherwise, 20 months on the waiting list. Give me a break. At least Warren G Harding wasn’t a war criminal and he had the good grace to die in office. Dick Cheney – a disgrace to humanity to his very bitter end.

  3. Leinad says:

    First time I’ve heard of a purely cosmetic heart operation.

  4. Frankly says:

    I’m afraid his body will be so shocked at the presence of an organ it never had before it will keel over and die.

    REally though we should all be wishing the big Dick a very long life. He knows he can’t leave the US for fear of being arrested. We have to remind him that this country my regain it sanity one day & shit his useless ass & bright shiny new heart to the Hague.

  5. Bill Murray says:

    Maybe this heart will not be 3 sizes too small

  6. toma says:

    Buck up, everyone. This means he’ll be able to spend a good, long 25 years rotting in jail.

  7. N__B says:

    Is there any reason to believe the donation was voluntary?

  8. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    If I thought there were a remote chance my vital organs might wind up sustaining the life of an enfeebled war criminal, I’d gleefully ram a weed-eater through my own sternum.

    Don’t do that! Ingest a slow-acting and hard to detect but invariably fatal substance. Then make sure to sign that organ donation card before kicking off.

  9. TT says:

    Who knew Kim Jon Il was an organ donor?

  10. thebewilderness says:

    I just hope the donors family do not know who got the organ. They do not need more pain.

  11. Timb says:

    How does a guy in his dotage with a history of cardiac disease get a heart?

    $$$$$$$

    America is an interesting place

    • Warren Terra says:

      Um, I’d not be shocked to learn he gamed the queue – but on the other hand I suspect a lot of people who get heart transplants have a history of cardiac problems. All of them, in fact.

      • Timb says:

        Not 5 MI’s. These are precious organs and generally only go to people who are younger with the possibility of decades of quality of life. One million year old don’t usually get them

    • LKS says:

      The Gingriches:

      Callista and I hope that his recovery is peaceful…

      Maybe it’s just me, but “peaceful” in this context kinda creeped me out.

  12. Ben says:

    So there are two additional reasons why Cheney getting a transplant sucks ass that the article doesn’t really address. A silly one and an actual one.

    The silly one is that the LVAD (left ventricular assist device) which Cheney was using prior to the transplant uses an Archimedean screw to whip blood through the body at a constant rate. This means that while Cheney was on the LVAD, he didn’t have a pulse. Doctors really shouldn’t have altered this state, which goes beyond metaphor and approaches myth.

    The actual downer-type reason is that while the LVAD was originally conceived to stabilize heart transplant candidates and act as a temporary bridge until a transplant could be performed, it has performed so well that it’s beginning to be thought of as a permanent treatment. Indeed, Cheney’s case is often given as evidence that it can work. So, leaving aside the fact that he’s a war criminal and pushing the age limit for the procedure, Cheney’s transplant replaces an effective treatment in someone who had functionally unlimited access to world-class medical care. It’s hard to think of a candidate who was less deserving just from an efficiency standpoint.

  13. wp200 says:

    Maybe now that Cheney has a heart, he will repent.

  14. muddy says:

    Interesting that when he was originally asked if he was going to go for a transplant, he modestly says that he hasn’t considered that. Manly Dick, facing the odds on his own! Like a warrior! Like a cowboy! Interesting that the waiting list time started earlier than when he made this statement.

    Lying hypocrites gotta be lying hypocrites.

    • patrick II says:

      I wonder, if he had publicly acknowledged that he was on the transplant list, how it would have affected the list — particularly donor restrictions. Which is something that lying but crafty old bastard probably considered when he denied he was thinking about a transplant.

      I had hoped he was going to die before me.

  15. c u n d gulag says:

    Dishonorable Boobs comments have been deleted?

    Oh, can you feel the impotent rage!!!

    Try some mental V*agra, DB.
    Looks like your brain needs quicker-picker-uppers as much as your johnson needs quicker-pecker-uppers.

  16. Tehanu says:

    I’d like to claim a conscience exception to paying any taxes toward Dick’s medical benefits. After all, if I were a bishop, I’d never have to pay taxes at all, let alone paying for anything I didn’t approve of. Alas, I’m afraid I’m just another Mongo — “only pawn in game of life.”

  17. SEK says:

    Hitler. And remember, I’m Jewish. Please, repeat your absurdity.

    +$$$

  18. Erik Loomis says:

    Thanks Bob–for every time you comment, I get to send more money to Planned Parenthood and the NAACP!!!!

  19. Murc says:

    I freely and openly admit that I hate Dick Cheney. I hate war criminals, especially gleefully unrepentant ones. This doesn’t preclude me feeling a certain amount of pity for him at the same time, but we could use more hate-filled posts about Dick Cheney, rather than less.

  20. Tucker says:

    Never a bad thing about Hitler, Kim Il Jong, Motubu Seso Seko, Mugabe, Bin Laden? They should have all gotten the Prometheus treatment without rescue because their legacy to mankind was death, destruction and misery.

    See I’m an equal opportunity hater.

  21. Bill Murray says:

    what a jerk you are for sending your condolences for the donors family.

    +$$$

  22. Warren Terra says:

    It really is special that we not only get concern trolled about incivility towards Recently Departed Assholes, we now get special bonus concern trolling about Assholes who are actually getting healthier due to medical intervention.

  23. blowback says:

    It might counter some of the “love” that Prick is getting but since that deranged person probably approves of this as well, WGAF!

  24. c u n d gulag says:

    I bet Dastardly Dick has a GREAT medical plan!

    At the taxpayers expense, no less.

  25. c u n d gulag says:

    ZZZZZzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz…

  26. Uncle Kvetch says:

    I could never say the hate-filled things you publish.

    Thus spake LGM’s #1 provider of fag jokes.

  27. DrDick says:

    Yawn.

    -$$$$$$-

  28. Uncle Kvetch says:

    Full-time, private-sector worker here, HoBo, inviting you to kindly fuck off to the fainting couch. You delicate flower.

  29. DrDick says:

    Having worked a wide array of really shitty blue collar jobs to get where I am today, kindly fuck off and die you clueless troglodyte.

    -$$$$$$-

  30. c u n d gulag says:

    Dishonest Boob’s also one of the people who think they’re clever by substituting a “t” for the “d,” in my “c u n d gulag’ moniker.

  31. Spud says:

    The Fainting Couch, the new hit single from the self-titled debut album of Liberal Death Cult!!!

  32. RhZ says:

    what does it stand for, anyway?

  33. RhZ says:

    Intended as a reply to c u n d gulag above.

  34. c u n d gulag says:

    “See You In The Gulag.”

    Relatives on both my mother’s and father’s side died in Stalins GULag’s.

    I came up with this in the lead-up to “Baby Doc” Bush & Co’s ‘Not So Excellent Iraq Adventure,’ when I was called treasonous, and a traitor, and someone who should be locked-up with all of the other Liberal treasonous traitors in the country.

    And, with another Republican administration inevitable at some point, I see no reason to change it.
    Unless all of the crazy Conservatives die off soon.
    But, then, there’s a crop of younger ones. And, the poop doesn’t fall far from the sphincter, you know…

  35. RhZ says:

    Sigh. Replies are broken or I am damaged. Or both.

  36. blowback says:

    WTF, I posted this as a reply to Murc @1:16 am!

  37. blowback says:

    Replies are broken – I blame it on the influence of the evil one himself, Dick Cheney. Someone should rip his heart out for the good of humanity and then drive a stake through it for good measure.

  38. c u n d gulag says:

    But blowback, someone was kind enough to finally donate one to him!

  39. efgoldman says:

    I believe that deleting a comment breaks reply from that point down.

    $$$

  40. Erik Loomis says:

    We are going to give our monthly donation to Planned Parenthood in your name.

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