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A Requiem For Newt


What should be his concession speech but wasn’t because he’s Newt does situate him right at the heart of the Republican universe in one respect: the man is 100% pure resentment.   It’s like Michael Jordan…if Michael Jordan had only been a minor league baseball player.

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  • Warren Terra

    It really is incredible that Newt thinks a pity vote of under 50 percent in his home state, which no other candidate really contested, puts him back in the race.

    I guess he has gone one better than Stephen Colbert, though: he’s campaigning to be The President Of The United States Of South Carolina And Georgia.

    Also funny: Rmoney and his surrogates kvelling over Rmoney taking 60% of the vote when the only other guy on the primary ballot was a superannuated gold-loving anti-war gnome who hasn’t even consistently been a Republican.

    • Fighting Words

      Apparently Ron Paul is somewhat popular in China, where he is known as “Grandpa Paul.” I don’t know why I thought this was funny.

    • DrDick

      It is beginning to look like Newticles will never drop out. The folks running the Republican Convention will have to haul him off and lock him in a basement closet somewhere while Mittens makes his acceptance speech. While I agree with others that this started out as a vanity run/publicity tour, I think his ego (approximately the size of Jupiter) kicked in at some point and he refuses to admit that nobody likes him.

      • Warren Terra

        You have to think that absent Newt, Santorum might well have won Georgia today, have won Ohio convincingly (as I write, he’s more likely than not to win Ohio, but not by a lot), and maybe, just maybe, won Michigan last week.

        Actually, it’s impressive how little impact Newt’s having, even on Santorum – Santorum would have needed the lion’s share of Newt’s vote in Michigan to pull ahead, and the other effects of Newt are pretty small beer.

        • Warren Terra

          Of course, now (a bit later) that Ohio is tightening and Rmoney might walk away with a slim win there, Newt’s refusal to acknowledge reality might really have mattered after all.

        • DrDick

          I agree that his performance has been rather pathetic, and far worse than I expected. He is clearly long past his sell by date, but he will never admit it.

    • Socraticsilence

      oooo… holding at 59% wow, this is honestly sad.

  • I never thought Donald Sterling would meet his match for worst owner in the NBA, but Michael Jordan is giving Sterling a run for his money.

    • scythia

      You’re assuming that Jordan is attempting to win in Charlotte, not spending three years tanking to stock up high draft picks.

  • Bill Israel

    As Christopher Hitchens said of Jerry Falwell, if Newt had an enema, you could fit him into a matchbox.

    The man is so full of himself that the odor was wafting through my TV set as I watched his little sideshow. Congratulations, Newt, you’ve won GA and the surrounding counties.

    • Thlayli

      “You’re supposed to win your home state, you low-expectation-having motherfucker!”

      • Colin

        Indeed [looks at Al Gore in Tennessee in 2000, sighs]…

  • jeer9

    A silly comparison. If Michael Jordan had only been a minor league baseball player, no one but his wife and family would care about the seething grudges that fuel his hostility. However, sports is much more meritocratic than politics which is why, even if we are saddened by Jordan’s immaturity and lack of magnanimity, those attributes are at least part of talent that could amaze and dazzle. While the Newtster also has the ability to take one’s breath away with his megalomania, the contributions to his field of “expertise” are of significantly less importance. Rather than Jordan, he’s more like an embarrassingly verbose and clearly hallucinatory Greg Kite blaming several Celtic losses on a misguided over-appreciation of Bird and McHale. Except that he hasn’t got Kite’s work ethic.

    • Anonymous

      It’s like when Vanderjagt complained that Peyton Manning wasn’t sufficiently riled up in a playoff game.

  • TL

    Well, this might all be shits and giggles for you, but since I live in Georgia, I had to suffer through a preemption of “Cougar Town” so that the local ABC affiliate could air his speech live.

  • Halloween Jack

    It’s like Michael Jordan…if Michael Jordan had only been a minor league baseball player.

    See, I’d argue that Newt was in the major leagues–the so-called Republican Revolution of ’94 put him there–but got caught up in a Pete Rose-type scandal before he even won his first World Series.

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