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First As Farce, Then As More Farce

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I’ll bet this will help almost as much as the Cain endorsement and the Palin quasi-endorsement! I don’t think anyone thinks Newt is a viable candidate anymore, at least apart from himself and the LGM comment sections, but can’t his campaign be allowed to die with some dignity? Actually, come to think if it, that wouldn’t be Newt. Hopefully he’ll be able to secure Alan Keyes before Super Tuesday.

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  • Uncle Kvetch

    Has Ted Nugent weighed in yet?

    • Scott Lemieux

      Hmm. Who did Chuck Norris endorse again? Maybe Chris Farley’s idiot brother is still available.

      • IM

        Or one of the lesser Baldwins.

        • Incontinentia Buttocks

          I still think that the Joe the Plumber endorsement will decide this!

        • Aren’t all Baldwins lesser at this point?

          • IM

            There is still a difference between a has-been and the never-beens.

          • You have to be careful. There’s a Baldwin who acts and who is a right wingnut who’s not a Baldwin brother.

            • IM

              Close Enough!

      • Auguste

        That’s no way to talk about your co-blogger.

        Oh, wait, Chris Farley really has a brother? Okay, now I have to come up with a new nickname for Rob.

  • mark f

    Yeah, but Santorum got the Angle-mentum heading into Nevada.

    • Njorl

      How do you think Santorum will spin that Angle-mentum?

      • Matthew Stevens

        I don’t know whether a sex joke or a quantum mechanics joke would be more germane here.

        • Holden Pattern

          Perhaps the two can be combined with a frothy bubble universe quip.

          • Ben

            Ha! Quantum foam indeed.

            • In Santorum’s case, that’s probably sputum.

        • Hard to tell which one is the top and which one is the strange one….

          • firefall

            Just stay away from the bottom …. and none of them are charmed

        • Njorl

          Obviously the conservative nature of Santorum’s angle-mentum proves the political universe is isotropic.

    • Anonymous

      Non angli sed angeli, as Gregory I would say . . .

  • Njorl

    We’ll know Newt’s campaign is on the verge of death when he divorce’s it.

    • mark f

      +1 This FTW

    • Hogan

      But first he has to find a younger campaign to fool around with.

  • Halloween Jack

    It seems pretty obvious that Trump’s short on cash again and is trying to get Gingrich to bribe him to go away.

    • IM

      In this case he should have tried to endorse Romney. Or Perry: Money and dumb.

  • dewces

    Trump is endorsing Romney

    • Wow: I think the headline changed as I clicked through….

      Damn, those anonymous sources need to speak up or the reporters can’t hear them clearly through the keyhole

    • Snarki, child of Loki

      I guess Newt *did* bribe Trump!

  • JohnR

    “..can’t his campaign be allowed to die with some dignity?”

    Oh, that’s a nice one! I’m still laughing. You know, over the years, Newt’s come back more times than Dracula; unless somebody actually drives a stake through his heart*, I’m not counting him out of the race.

    • Scott Lemieux

      He’s never actually held any public office since crashing and burning as Speaker, so I have no idea where this idea that he’s ever come back from anything comes from.

      • Murc

        Er, you don’t?

        Seems pretty obvious. No matter how many times Newt crashes and burns (and I think we’re up to like the third, fourth time on that, and that’s only counting the disasters we KNOW about) he keeps coming back as a figure about whom his own ideological fellow travelers and the media in general insist with a straight face that we should take seriously.

        • Incontinentia Buttocks

          See also Nixon, Richard M. (who admittedly had one huge, actual comeback in 1968 before spending the last couple decades of his life in a perpetual, Newt-like pseudo-comeback).

          • efgoldman

            I hated Nixon, but compared to Newt, he was the soul of rationality and probity.

            • Ken

              Don’t forget good taste. Nixon had the manners to keep a low profile after he had to resign in disgrace.

              • Holden Pattern

                The Republicans have learned from that, and grew a crop of leaders who are incapable of feeling shame or disgrace.

              • Charlie

                Nixon had the manners to keep a low profile after he had to resign in disgrace.

                Really? As I remember it, his “manners” and “low profile” consisted of writing self-serving books, giving self-serving interviews, and just being a self-pitying sad sack who still obviously and desperately wanted public sympathy and at least a second-hand taste of power.

                Both Newtie and Nixon remind me of Bob McNamara who was even more successful in his self-rehabilitation and went on to run the WTO poorly, and who angers me still even though he’s dead. I really really wish we obeyed this simple rule in public life: if you hold a position of great power and a) spectacularly fail at that position in an irredeemably bad way and/or b) abuse your power, then that’s it. Go home. Don’t write books about your career or leadership, don’t attempt to become an “elder statesman,” and don’t even think about trying to take a position of great power and influence again. Just shut the fuck up, take up golf or painting and try to be good to your loved ones and leave the rest of us the fuck alone. The rest of us can examine your career fairly, learn from your mistakes, and acknowledge whatever was positive in your legacy without you. The idea that people who flagrantly abused power still should be part of the game infuriates me to no end.

        • Scott Lemieux

          In fairness, it seems to be only the media (as opposed to his fellow travelers) who think he should be taken seriously.

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      Newt’s mistake is still having a heart. He needs to get with Dick Cheney about that.

    • KadeKo

      Dignity? It’s a little too late to worry about dignity now.

      “I will not let my moral compass become a clock.”

      —Ellen Goodman, The Boston Globe, on Nixon’s death.

      • KadeKo

        …and I somehow didn’t put that under the Incontinentia Nixon comment.

        Freaking’ intertubes, how do they work?

      • Stag Party Palin

        Oooh, that is *brilliant*. It’s always difficult being polite when something evil dies.

        • Njorl

          A nice somber scene, with, “In this, your time of sorrow, our joy shall be restrained until time, the salve of all wounds, passes into the festival of dancing on your loved one’s grave.”

          • Njorl

            That post was supposed to start with “Hallmark should have a card for this.”

  • Davis

    Candidates quit when they run out of money. As long as Adelson keeps funding that Super PAC, he’ll stay, if not out of ego, out of spite. He really hates Romney.

    • I’m a little surprised Gingrich is so dependent on a single funder: I would have figured that he’d appeal to some of the internet boom millionaires, though it’s possible that they’re mostly Ron Paul nerds.

      • Murc

        It is, and they’re real fucking annoying.

        IT in general and the internet in particular is one of the greatest government-driven and government-supported undertakings in history. And yet a disproportionate number of the people working in it seem to be techno-libertarians who think that if those damn governments would just get out of the way, they could get on about the business of turning us all into cyborgs.

        • Incontinentia Buttocks

          This is an old story:

          ITThe trans-Mississippi West in general and the internet Rocky Mountain States in particular is one of the greatest government-driven and government-supported undertakings in history. And yet a disproportionate number of the people working in it them seem to be techno-libertarians who think that if those damn governments would just get out of the way, they could get on about the business of turning us all into cyborgs cowboys.

          • DrDick

            There certainly are an awful damned lot of them up here in Montana, despite the fact that government spending accounts for about16% of our GDP and 20% of employment. Not to mention we get back $1.47 in federal for every $1 we pay in taxes. This does not even count the hidden subsidies to agriculture and the timber through below market lease rates on the vast amounts of federal land in the state.

            • Holden Pattern

              That’s just good hard-working real Americans getting what they deserve.

              Soshulizm is what other people get, mostly them people in them big cities. If it weren’t for them, the hard-working real Americans would be in even better shape, like they were back in the 1880s.

          • Murc

            True story; when I was a kid, cyborg-cowboy was my chosen career path.

            • Marek

              Saw “Westworld” a few too many times, did we?

  • Hogan

    The kiss of death:

    A January Washington Post-Pew poll found that nearly two-thirds of Republicans and GOP-leaning independents said a Trump endorsement would make no difference in their vote. Moreover, somewhat more said it would be more of a reason to oppose than to support a candidate (20 to 13 percent).

    • Incontinentia Buttocks

      Serious question: except in local cases involving political machines and the politicians who run them, do endorsements in presidential races ever actually move many votes?

      • Njorl

        They might matter if they were overwhelming. Given two relatively equal primary candidates for president, if one was massively endorsed by party bigwigs, it would win voters, but more importantly, would help create organization and help raise money.

        A popular retiring Senator can help a chosen successor win their primary, but that also might be more due to the inheritance of the campaigning organization.

      • Hogan

        In the case of highly regarded national politicians, maybe. Celebrity endorsements are more about the celebrities than about the candidates.

      • Ted Kennedy endorsing Obama.

        So yes.

      • Ben

        Endorsements only matter in as much as they represent resources that are going to the endorsed candidate (GOTV efforts, fundraising, etc.) which, as you note, are much more likely to make the difference in local or machine-type races.

        Otherwise, they mean dick.

      • Murc

        You said “presidential races”, not “primary” or even “Presidential primary”, so I’m going to assume you mean in the general election.

        And I think the answer to that is a qualified no. Endorsements don’t seem to matter very much at all… but when was the last time an influential, high-ranking party member, who was well-liked by many within the parties electorate, refused to endorse the nominee?

        I think you have to go all the way back to 1964 for that, and despite still being haunted by the specter of those times that was a half century ago. We have no context for what might happen if, say, Jim DeMint refused to endorse the Republican nominee or something.

  • Isn’t the only thing worse than winning the Donald endorsement is losing the Donald endorsement?

    • chris

      The only thing worse than winning the Donald endorsement is being seen trying to win the Donald endorsement. If people accept that you never cared about the Donald endorsement, you’re fine.

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