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Death List ’12


Last year was a tough year for my Death List. Only Andy Rooney died. I’ve replaced him with Phyllis Diller. The rest are the same:

1. Bhumibol Adulyadej, King of Thailand
2. Mike Wallace
3. Margaret Thatcher
4. Rev. Sun Myung Moon
5. Fidel Castro
6. Luis Echeverria
7. Ernest Borgnine
8. Phyllis Diller
9. Clark Terry
10. Little Jimmy Dickens

Let the outrage at my moral turpitude begin.

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  • wengler

    I could’ve sworn five of these people are already dead.

    • wengler

      Also you are an awful, terrible human being in forgetting Lindsay Lohan.

    • LKS

      I could’ve sworn five of these people are already dead.

      Phyllis Diller has always looked that way.

  • Greg

    I’ve had Ariel Sharon and Dick Cheney for years, and they just keep hanging in there.

    • I once had Sharon in there, but I realized that the Israelis were going to keep him alive forever so it seemed like a bad bet. He’s the only person I ever took off the list without dying.

      • c u n d gulag

        Yes to Dick Cheney – he’s just a heartbea… a dead Energizer Bunny battery away!

        • From what I understand he literally does not have a heartbeat, so by any definition he really is dead…

    • You think that’s bad, I have two men who are 103 and 104 respectively, and they haven’t died. (They’re the top two on the list).

      1. Elliott Carter
      2. Oscar Niemeyer
      3. Billy Graham
      4. Zsa-Zsa Gabor
      5. Luis Echeverria
      6. Etta James
      7. Abe Vigoda
      8. Nancy Reagan
      9. Nelson Mandela
      10. Margaret Thatcher

  • JimmyC

    Is it still the CW that Vo Nguyen Giap will never actually die?

    • amok92

      I heard ol’ Giap gave a toast to Farley during his 100th birthday party this August along with a couple of small gnarled middle fingers.

      • firefall

        Giap died about 30 years ago, but ResurrectionTech worked its magic.

  • commie atheist

    Either Anthony Kennedy (76) or Ruth Bader Ginsburg (79) will die this year. Mark my words.

    • Tcaalaw

      Ginsburg has had problems with cancer, but what would get Kennedy?

  • Isn’t Olivia de Havilland still alive?

    • Tcaalaw

      Yes, she’s 95.

  • Ayman al-Zawahiri.

  • You can’t just put down “Al Qaeda’s #3” ten times, I guess…

    • He’s now #1. He took over for bin Laden.

      I don’t think he’s ever been #3. When he and bin Laden merged their organizations back in the early 90s, he became OBL’s deputy. His Rahm.

    • Mike Schilling

      Two #3’s makes a #6, which means he’s really #1.

  • Tobruk

    I have Eric Loomis’ mother on my death list.

    • c u n d gulag

      Man, that is completely uncalled for, you unmitigated asshole!

      It’s not even vaguely funny, unless you’re a right wing troll who revels in the misery of others so that you can forget what a miserable excuse for a human being you are.

  • You left off Mickey Rooney, who seems to be a slam dunk to reach the Great Beyond.

    • We all are, actually. I had a Jesuit prof once who called life ‘a sexually-transmitted, incurable terminal disease’.

      • ajay

        I am completely unsurprised that a Jesuit got the definition of “sexually transmitted” wrong.

    • mark f

      I like to imagine Mickey Rooney still acting like his Boys Town character.

  • Nick

    By putting the king of Thailand on your list — at number 1 no less — you have made it illegal to read this blog anywhere in that country, and anyone who forwards this link could be considered for upwards of 20 years in jail.

  • Bill Murray

    Generalissimo Francisco Franco?

    • Y’know, from your nym this is wrong on any number of levels.

  • ed

    Art Donovan
    Andy Dick

  • Robermax

    what do you have against Clark Terry and Ernest Bourgine?

    • Nothing at all; what makes you assume you’d have to have something against them to include them on the death list. They are very old. It’s a good bet.

  • Gus

    What a horrible, horrible person you are. And why is Billy Graham not on this list?

  • If you haven’t locked your picks in, Erik, you forgot Gary “Terminal Brain Cancer” Carter.

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  • Wayne?

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