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NEWSFLASH: BILLY AND JIMMY CARTER NOT SAME PERSON!

[ 33 ] August 20, 2011 |

I have just received an alarming e-mail from an alert reader regarding this post:

This is a picture of Billy Carter (Billy Beer), Jimmy Carter’s brother. Please use accurate information, you sure don’t know about Jimmy Carter. Set the record straight.

I am shocked.

I would like to apologize to the Lawyers, Guns and Money community for Dr. Loomis’ amateurish effort to pass off Billy Carter as Jimmy Carter. At this point, it is unclear whether Dr. Loomis “sure don’t know about Jimmy Carter,” or deliberately set out to deceive LGM’s readership as to the distinction between Billy and Jimmy Carter. Either possibility is troubling. Pending a full investigation into this matter, we are strongly considering suspending Dr. Loomis without pay. A copy of the final report of this investigation will be forwarded to the University of Rhode Island, which surely will want to know whether its new tenure track History professor is either a) ignorant of the existence of Billy Carter, or b) a deliberate fabricator of Jimmy Carter related drinking incidents.

To eliminate the possibility of future confusion, the post in question will be updated to properly inform readers as to the existence of Billy Carter as a human being separate and distinct from Jimmy Carter.  I have also corrected the pernicious image:

While it would appear that LGM can no longer guarantee the veracity of the claims made by its front page posters, I nevertheless ask for patience and forbearance from our readers during this period of difficulty.

Courage.

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  • greylocks

    We all know what comes from internal investigations. I demand a special prosecutor.

  • mike in dc

    Robert,
    I dunno, call me prescient, but I have a feeling you will be posting something about Libya tomorrow.
    Just a wild hunch.

    • Robert Farley

      Tonight or very early tomorrow morning.

    • greylocks

      +1 ###

  • MaIaclypse

    I expect a full refund of my subscription fees. I’ll take it in beer, please.

    • DrDick

      Make it real beer, however, and not Billy Beer.

  • Tom Renbarger

    “NOT ACTUALLY BEER” <– Nice touch.

  • It’s time to return to days of yore! Let’s take back our America blog from them Erik!

  • Kevin

    I feel so… deceived.

  • Davis X. Machina

    The Holy Roman Empire of beer, so to speak. I’m old enough to have drunk it.

    (I mean, at some level it was beer, but come on…)

  • The shame I feel cannot be expressed in the English language.

    Weeping.

    Straight into my Billy Beer.

  • It turns out you can actually buy cans of Billy Beer pretty cheap on Ebay. You can buy a single empty can for as little as 99 cents. You can also buy what seems like a 6 pack of unopened Billy Beers for $20–which comes with the warning “Not for Consumption.” Perhaps that label should have been on there in 1977. And I do have to wonder what would be in those cans were they opened today.

    In any case, I may have to buy one, both to remember this guy who wrote Rob so outraged and also as a teaching prop.

    • DrDick

      I suspect that there would be little perceptible difference from when they were fresh.

      • MR Bill

        Yup, it was bloody awful…
        Although, in blind taste test in my Frat house basement at Emory U. in 1977, it beat “Old Frothingslosh” and was edged out by Blatz…
        Which was pretty much the sound heard in the communal bathrooms at about 3 a.m. afterward.

        • DrDick

          From what I recall of my one encounter with it, it actually managed to make Old Milwaukee taste like good beer.

  • The gray-haired lady is Miss Lillian, isn’t it? DON’T TELL ME YOU’VE LIED TO ME ABOUT MISS LILLIAN, TOO?!?

  • elm

    I notice you did not point to the guy sitting on top of the pickup and say he wasn’t Jimmy Carter. This obviously means you think he IS Jimmy Carter. You clearly know nothing about Jimmy Carter. That is obviously Luke Duke on the pickup.

  • Dr. Loomis. You are sentenced to have a box of wine taped to your chest before you are lowered into the LAIR OF THE mALTHOUSE.

    “Not actually beer” has me cracking up. As does (for some reason) the woman striking a pose on the cab of the pick up truck.

    “OK, we have three Country Boy types, a Lady of a Certain Age to show the beer won’t instantly kill the elderly, a Faithful Dog because all rural folks have dogs and … Hey, what’s with the pretty girl? Did anyone order a pretty girl? No, I’m not going send her home after she spent all that time in hair and make up. Maybe she can hold a beer to increase its sex appeal. Nah, we’ll just stick her on the pickup truck. All rural people have pick ups there’s no way in hell we can make this swill sexy.”

  • Look at it this way: At least mostof your commenters are smart enough to pound sand.

    • c u n d gulag

      Better to pound sand, than to pound Billy Beer.

      Billy Beer is the only beer that made me long for a warm Iron City or Ortliebs (a beer you could buy for $1.99 a case back in the mid 70’s. Awful, just awful shit. But we were in HS, so who cared :-)

  • RepubAnon

    Don’t know much about history.
    Don’t know much bi-ol-ogy…

  • You’d think that what with the interTubes and the every-fifth-second cuts that are in vogue in current Big Budget Hollywood Action Films that people would be more used to thinking — at least a little — non-linearly; e.g. in terms of juxtoposition, reference, allusion, lateral or oblique logic/connections, and what have you.

    But — as the man says — sadly, no.

  • MaIaclypse

    I used to be a liberal, but Loomis’ shameless lying about Billy Carter have made me outraged about Chappaquidick.

    • :: applause ::

    • This reminds me that now that I’m in New England, I have to go visit Chappaquidick. I can’t think of any good reason to do so, and I never did visit the Branch Davidian compound in Waco when I lived in Texas, but at least in theory, I think it’s a good idea for a random day trip.

      • MaIaclypse

        Chappaquidick is very cool. Be aware that it is a (short) ferry ride off the mainland. On-season, that ferry can have a wait of hours, if you want to bring a car. I’d do it by bike, but use a bike that can handle sand roads. Cape Pogue is spot-on gorgeous, and Mitoi Garden is wicked cool.

        I’ll be there the first week of October. If you want pictures, send me an e-mail.

    • I am aware of all internet traditions and also of photoshop conventions in which placing arrows pointing to someone or some beer means that you are correctly identifying that person or beer.

      But here you are not.

      It seems to me that what you are about is, well, sort of questionable.

  • Margarita

    The man featured on the 12-pack is, in point of actual fact, Kim Jong Il. The gentleman on the right and his companion are Muammar Gaddafi and Margaret Thatcher in happier days. The gal on the pickup truck, Michèle Duvalier. And seated on the tailgate are Augusto Pinochet, Henry Kissinger, and Mitt Romney’s dog. Please use accurate information. Set the record straight.

  • comment

    I felt that including the signature “Billy Carter” in the lower left of the image was a particularly deft touch, mocking the LGM readership with actual evidence of the real identity of the grinning Georgian on the case of beer.

  • Woodrowfan

    just to tie the the threads together, wasn’t Billy Carter briefly in the hire of the Libyan government?

    • Billy was indeed a registered agent of the Libyan government.

  • witless chum

    So, that’s President Carter second from the left?

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